LJSKSJSKSJSKSJAJSKSJWJ MY CUTE BOY ANGEL I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. Angel devil supremacy 🛐🛐🛐

Fun fact: My obsession with angels started from this absolute beauty of a man- angel- devil- or wtv.

Another fun fact: this is my fav character in chainsaw man along with nayuta :3 ( strange choices ik lmao).

Warnings: alpha, alpha rizz, you might get rizzed up, slight inferiority comlpex (actual warning for once😱!?), you, also Ranpookie rizz, Tanizaki's wallet getting assaulted, bombastic side eye, Elon musk, Mark Zuckerberg.

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠...

⋘ 𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡...⋙

 ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎...⋙

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ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ!

❉ ╤╤╤╤ ✿ ╤╤╤╤ ❉

₊❏❜ ⋮ 𝘿𝘼𝙏𝙀 𝙒 𝙍𝘼𝙉𝙋𝙊 ⌒

❉ ╧╧╧╧ ✿ ╧╧╧╧ ❉
. . .

2nd POV (IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL IT!? IDK)

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╰┈➤ ❝ In the streets.

"Bye bandages!" You wave bye, of course not like a normal person since you're secretly an a.i. just like Elon musk and also not a normal a.i. but an alienic lizard a.i. like Mark Zuckerberg- ahem, anyways.

"Goodbye [𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞]-𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧!" Dazai waves back as he has to rescue Atsushi.

After walking a safe distance (500 m) from where you and 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 parted ways, you run your crusty musty dusty rusty brain mechanics to google your way to rizzing 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 up. You didn't think such a thing in front of 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 cuz you don't wanna take any chances of being read.

'Damn it damn it damn it damn it danm ti denim to- wait tf am I saying- oh wait. I'm figuring out how to rizz up 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨.
Hmm...'

While thinking, you reach a cafe. You take a seat there and order [𝐅/𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤].

'Hmm...to rizz up 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨, I don't think the 'shy girly' way is good. Besides, I'm too weird for some cliche romance. Well then...time to do something I can only think of doing with friends!... Aaaaand, that's being bold. Also something I would never have done in front of the one I simp for.'

As you try to think of another way, you find none more affective than 'the bold approach'.

'*𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘩* well, time to become a rizzler.'

You stand up and prepare to leave, but suddenly, you only now realized that the cafe waitress is just- I think you get it.

'Damn. She's so- omygawd. Wait, might want to practice my rizz skills before rizzing up my cutie patootie.'

You walk (in rizzler style🐺) to the waitress, stopping just before her.

You ACciDenTLy😋✌ make her trip.

She was about to fall... but you caught her in your arms Disney babagrill-fry style and activate your alpha rizz technique🐺.

She dramatically gasps. "*𝙇𝙚 𝙂𝘼𝙎𝙋* oh my god! Thank you for saving me from falling, kind ma'am." She said as she was still in your arms.

You chuckle in alpha style🐺. "Oh~? Wait, are you a keyboard? Cuz I think you're just my type." 'Behold! My secret technique, W keyboard rizz+ unspoken rizz+ alpha rizz!'

Her face becomes a shade of light pink at your Ultimate rizz. "A-ah, is that so...?"
'Omigawsh omigawsh omigawsh omigawsh KYAAAA she's so ngh'

Of course, as you were good at reading people, you immediately figured out that indeed, you are a rizzler.

"Oh wait, are you a staircase? Cuz I think I fell for you😏 (omori rizz)"

'KYAAA AJDJAJSIAJSKAJAJAUSJAJAJ GAWDDAMN'

of course you can pull beatches. And with that, you decide that you are finally ready to rizz up ur man.

"Oh, I think I might be late, dw though, I'll visit later too~" after rizzing her up one last time, you return to the agency office, where 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 currently is.

Meanwhile, the waitress was absolutely shaken by your immense rizz. 'I think I'll make some exceptions for people not paying.'

As you keep walking on your way back to the agency, you think of different rizz pickup lines, until you finally reach the office and open the door to see 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 on his desk, eating a candy.

'Okay, this is your chance. You can do this. W̶h̶a̶t̶ i̶f̶ h̶e̶ d̶o̶e̶s̶n̶'t̶ we will go out today!'

As you approach 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨'𝐬 desk, your confidence level keeps decreasing, but you somehow manage. 'Remember, YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU'RE AN ALPHA RAWR🐺.'

"What is it [𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞]-𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧?"

Whoop. There goes the thousand outcomes you thought of. You only just predicted how the conversation would go, but he already interrupted you, thus making all the big brain calculations seem useless.

'Damn. Now I can only communicate the normal human being way. Let's try ig.'

"こんにちは ( good morning) 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨-𝐬𝐚𝐧." You start calculating the best sentence to follow after the previous. "So, I heard you like sweets?"

Of course 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 knew why you were asking that, and he wasn't really complaining about getting free candies either. He replied with closed eyes- actually, they never really were open to begin with. "Hm. So what?"

"So, I was hoping that... you'd like to come! Um...kind of like a...um, date? yeah?" You also knew that 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 probably knew what you were implying, you weren't a fool. 'Well, I think it's better this way rather than being delulu that it's a date while 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 only really came for sweets.'

"Hm. Only if you buy me sweets that is." He slightly appreciated the fact that you weren't beating around the bush.

Your [ Poker face ] wore off and you genuinely looked like you were so happy that you would burst into tears. Except that you don't burst into tears.

"Uh, sure. when do we go...?"I mean, you didn't really have experience in dating.
'DA FUC. I don't know anything abt dating at all! I'm so stupid bye.'

He stands up and and walks to towards the gate before pausing and looking at your direction. "Well, what are you waiting for? Hurry up!"

"Uh- yes, coming!" You swiftly catch up to him and start walking by his side. "Um, which candy shop do you want to go? Or maybe a cafe?" You ask while walking, also with your phone in your hand which displays Google maps. You weren't really an expert with directions either.

"Any shop with top quality candies is fine. Remember, I'll only be with you as long as I'm being provided candies! I assume you have enough money for that?"

"Sure. You can take aaaaanything you want!" You smile at him, I mean, it's not your money that's going to be spent. 'Lmao 𝐓𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐤𝐢, you better pray for ur wallet.'

Remember? At the cafe before, he was saying that he would compensate you? Yeah, the wallet is what you took for compensation. Big brain moves LMAO.

As you both keep walking while talking, a candy store catches your eye.

'Perfect. A Free plushie for every 3000 yen you spend... I mean, they probably thought that no one would buy that much lmao.'

"Hey 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨-𝐬𝐚𝐧, what do you think about that store?" You pointed at the direction at which the store was.

"Hm. I guess it would be fine."

"Great! Let's go!" As you were about to go check out the store with 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨, you paused when you realized that you accidentally held his hand by habit.  '...why did I do that? I mean probably because I had a habit of dragging my friends to somewhere they would never agree to go. Darn it.'

You secretly hoped that 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 wouldn't mind, though you never really held high expectations.

"Why did you stop? C'mon, we don't have all day!" 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 did notice you being hesitant about holding hands but didn't mind it as he probably figured this was your first date and you didn't know the dos and don'ts.

'Thank gawd it wasn't awkward or I would legit cry.' As you currently didn't have the [ Poker face ] on, the happiness was all displayed on your face for the world to see.

As you both enter the store, still holding hand to which your face was slightly pink, not much but anyways, you both find a seat and walk towards it.

As 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 sits on one side, you were wondering if you can sit beside him or not.

'Man, I really have this urge to sit beside him, but I don't want him to be uncomfortable. Afterall, I do care about privacy and stuff.' You were just standing there looking between the two places until 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 finally interrupted your internal thoughts.

"What are you waiting for? Come on, sit here." He pats the area beside him, gesturing that indeed,  you can sit beside him.

"R-right!" 'Tf why did I stutter? Actually, my pathetic goofy ahhcheeks probably can't handle the handsome and cute 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨. F me😐, not literally.'

You sit beside him as 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 took notice of you looking quite nervous. "So uh, 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨-𝐬𝐚𝐧, what would you like to order? Or maybe we just straight up buy the candies and leave." You weren't gonna be forcefully prolonging the date if he didn't consent, well, what can I say, you do care about the other party's consent, not always tho.

"Didn't you say it was a date? It wouldn't match the definition of what a normal person would consider a 'date' if it's just buying candies." He propped down one arm on the table and rested his face on it. 

"Oh. I- um, what would you like to order?" You were a bit surprised that 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 didn't take the offer of just buying sweets, you really didn't think anyone would be willing to. 'I mean... why would anyone even want to go on a date with me...?' You were partly lost in thought about the topic.

Yes, you did have a bit of an inferiority complex when it came to love.

"I'd like to see what you order first."

You nod. "Okay. Is Dango and Takoyaki fine? And after that, we could buy candies."

"Hm. I guess you have a good taste in food."

"Thank you...?" Damn, did he just compliment you? 'JSKAFJSKAJSK- I- omigawd I knew I had a praise kink-💀'
You blushed slightly as you call the waitress to order the following things.

'Her taste isn't half bad... I guess she wouldn't make a bad date.' Thought 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 as he was watching you from the side of his eye (bOMbaStiC sIdE eYe 👁-)

After the waitress went to fetch your order, it was completely silent between you and 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨.

'Damn it. Why does it always end up being quit and awkwarddddd.' You were honestly thinking of burying yourself because of the awkwardness.

After some time, 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 was the one to initiate a conversation. "Say, [𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞]-𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧, why did you approach me when you only just knew me for less than a day?"

"Ah...that..." you looked away from him, since you know you as a simp would go crazy if you make eye contact with THE 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨. "Um... what can I say... love at first sight...?" Yeah, that was terrible, it also got you internally cringing.

"Hm. Okay." You knew 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 also figured that wasn't the case but chose to remain silent. "Next question, how did you guess 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢'𝐬 previous job?"

Ah... of course he would know...

"......𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨-𝐬𝐚𝐧, can I choose to remain silent, as it would hurt me to lie to you."
You were never going to lie to 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨, even if you lose his trust by remaining silent.

"You can. Nobody's forcing you afterall." He nonchalantly replied, considering the fact that you would rather remain silent than lie. Unknowingly, you gained his trust.

Your eyes slightly widen after hearing what he said. "I... hope I'm not being rude or ungrateful."

"You aren't. It's your choice to remain silent, and my choice to respect that."

"I-.....thank you." You smile warmly with your cheeks a bit red. You haven't smiled like that in awhile, it felt refreshing.

He chuckles. "Keep that smile on your face more often, it looks good." He opened his eyes and looked at you.

"😳" you were mesmerized by his beautiful emerald eyes, so much so, that you even forgot to breath for a second.
'I- gawddamn this man absolutely stole my heart. I don't think I'll even make it alive by the time this date ends. I thought I was gonna rizz him up, not the other way 'round!'

If you weren't blushing before, you're definitely a tomato now.

Buuuuuuutt, the waitress finally arrives and interrupt the moment. Darn it.

"Ahem, here's what you ordered!" She smiles and leaves.

𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 closes his eyes again and starts eating. You too do the same. Unbeknownst to you, not 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨, the waitress was quitely watching you both as she also called more of her colleagues to watch too. They all were shipping you two and rooting for you both to be together.

After sometime, you both finish eating as you stand up to buy candies for 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨.

"𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨-𝐬𝐚𝐧, let's go." You gesture towards the area where there were candies being sold.

As you reminded yourself to not accidentally hold hands again, this time, 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 was the one who held your hand in his. You were a bit happy that this date wasn't forceful and that 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨'𝐬 actions were his own choice.

"Alright! You can pick any you want!"

"I know."

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'Damn that's a lot. We spend 12000 yen, and also got 4 plushies!' You thought as you and 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 were currently returning after shopping for sweets.

You were the one holding all the plushies and also some of the sweets, while, 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 held a bag of sweets as he kept eating them on the way.

'I don't think today was too bad... yeah who am I kidding, today was my absolute lucky day!'

You both reach the agency office. you place down all the stuff on his desk, keeping two of the four plushies for yourself.

"Hey [𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞]-𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧!" He shouted from his place.

"Hm? What is it?" You wondered what he would say next.

"I've decided... that we will have another date!" He proudly declares.

Your brain malfunctioned. "Eh...?"

"What? Did you not hear me? Are you a child?" He said sarcastically.

"No um, I did hear you but- why...?" 'Aren't you more of a child than me?'

"Well! It's so simple that even a monkey could understand! Of course the sweets are too good to let go." He stated as if it was a fact.

"Oh... right." you never really expected his reason to be anything other than candies, then why? Why did you get disappointed...? Or...did you? 'No no, you're stupid for even thinking it was because he might like you. That's exactly why you should never get your hopes up... Js kidding! I never actually had any hopes so I'm actually a bit happy that he would go another time too! :3' ( inferiority complex kicking in rn 💀🤜💥👍 ).

Just then, 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 says something that you would never have expected. "But, as it seems you don't know how dating works, I'll be granting you the honour of being taught so by the world's greatest detective!"

What.

'What?'

"What!?"

It took you sometime to process but eventually, you settled yourself down.

'Nahhhh there's no wayyyy' you thought that maybe you were looking sad or something else, and that's why 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 thought that maybe this would cheer you up?? You open your mouth to clarify that indeed, you are not sad or disappointed, but saying so...

"Quiet." He shut you up by leaning in close and putting a finger on your lips, daring you to speak more. "Don't you dare refuse the chance to be taught by the greatest detective in the world!"

You blush a bit at the close proximity and quitely nod. You still thought you didn't deserve this, but kept quiet and followed his instructions.

"Well then, I'll be waiting for you on Saturday." He removes his finger and goes back to his desk. 'She really has quite the inferiority complex huh. It doesn't take a genius to know, that's how obvious it is.'

You nod, though internally wondering what good deeds you did to deserve this. 'Probably enduring my devilish sister...'

Just then, 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 arrives with the 𝐓𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐤𝐢 siblings and 𝐀𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢 with him, though all being injured except the brunette.

"Oh, hey 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢!" Your [Poker face] was activated again. "Whatcha doing there?"

"Oh that? I'm just bringing them to 𝐘𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐨-𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐢 so that they would get well sooner!" He cheered.

"Oh okay👍😐" 'damn. Getting treated by
𝐘𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐨-𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐢 is a dream come true. Unfortunately, I can't be treated.'

After 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 comes back from delivering the three to 𝐘𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐨, he stands beside you and initiates a conversation.

"By the way, I heard 𝐘𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐨-𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐢 say that you went on a date?" His eyes definitely looked a bit different now.

"Yeah? What about it?" You bluntly replied.

"...Nothing! I'm just happy you did! But I  hope you don't abandon me and only pay attention to someone else!" He pouted childishly.

"I don't think that's how it works???" And you were ignored. Great. "...anyways, are the three of them okay?" You asked even though you already knew.

"Well, I think you already know that! Don't you, [𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞]-𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧?" He says with a closed eyes smile. This beatch- "anyways, how about we also go on a-" he was cut off.

"𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭." And the one who cut him off was none other than
𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨. "We already have planned to go on another date, right [𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞]-𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧?"

'E-eh???' You furiously nod, not even processing what he said, you just knew to do one thing, nod.

"My my, 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨-𝐬𝐚𝐧. I think it's her who will decide what she wants to do." The brunette says.

"Are you deaf or what? I think she clearly agreed with me."

"Oh~ but I don't think so!"

You quitely move away from the room while they both were quarelling like kids.

'Damn. Tf did I just witness??'

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END!

Words: 2972.

I think this chapter ain't that great and it was also implying some angst or something LMAO and angst is not my thing. So yeah, the inferiority complex is js something you developed unknowingly, tho it's only in the case of love. Otherwise, you're ready to beat someone who dare says that you're worthless.

And is something else i wanna share, damn, we have a story written by Nathaniel Hawthorne??? No like fr, it's in my english literature book💀.

Anyways, here's another fanart of us, though it's like we're pretending to be a famous celeb, just think of it as related your first mission in the ADA, or something like that.