There is mentions of anxiety and mental health through the chapter. There is mild, non-explicit sexual content within the chapter as well as mentions of bad parents/bad homelife. Please avoid reading any further if these topics are sensitive to you.

⸻⸻ .·:*¨༺ ♛ ♡ ∞ ♡ ♛ ༻¨*:·. ⸻⸻

Anything.

That one word holds a lot of weight in Wooyoung's heart, knowing fully well that San meant what he said always, especially when it was towards him, but something about the doting promise makes his stomach twist.

"You say that a lot, San'ah." Wooyoung leans backwards, eyes hazy and mind screaming.

"When have I never meant it?" San asks timidly, but Wooyoung bites his tongue.

"No, that's not what I'm saying," Wooyoung sighs. "I just don't want you to feel like you have to do everything I ask."

San tilts his head, eyes narrow and lips slightly parted. "Woo, you don't force anything on me. I don't want you to ever think that. Ever."

"As long as you're sure." Wooyoung grabs San's hands, gently trying to coerce the male into climbing into the bed with him, pulling and pulling until San eventually starts to get the message.

"I don't want to rush into anything Woo. I know what you're asking of me right now and-"

"No. It's okay. I'm emotional and a wreck and I wasn't thinking." Wooyoung sighs, pushing San on his back gently, almost immediately laying his head down on his chest the moment he's able to. San just goes along with whatever Wooyoung wants, arms resting around the younger's body comfortably. Wooyoung hums in contentment, taking a deep breath soon after.

"You're not a wreck." San mutters. "You're just confused and scared, and that's perfectly okay."

"I hate feeling like a burden." Wooyoung frowns, but San is quick to reassure with a hand threading through Wooyoung's hair innocently.

"You're never a burden. Not to me or to Seonghwa."

"Why am I so emotional all the time? I hate that part of myself. I just wish I could stop crying sometimes." Wooyoung huffs, but San smiles and shakes his head.

"I love that you are." San feels Wooyoung turn to look up at him, confused and nearly in a daze. "It means you have a big heart. Didn't you used to say that you had no room in your heart for friends, Young'ah?"

"I thought I didn't." Wooyoung turns his head back, staring at the wall cluttered with Seonghwa's pictures and posters. "But you made me realize differently. I just thought that being lonely would save me from myself. Turns out I actually like having people around me and I'm not some cold, heartless asshole."

"Do I make you warm?" San teases, and Wooyoung is quick to sit up to look down at San, a growing smile plaguing his lips.

"Shut up." San giggles, hands reaching to the base of Wooyoung's neck, pulling the younger down and against his lips, sharing a few loving kisses between them. "Fine. You make me a little warm."

"I knew it." San kisses him again.

"I'm still hungry," Wooyoung mutters against San's lips. "You said you wanted to make me breakfast?"

"The offer still stands if you want me to."

"Mhm, I'd love nothing more." Wooyoung kisses him once more, then pulls away, allowing San to sit upright and fix his messy hair. San glances over at Wooyoung, a smile nearly glued to his lips as he exits the safety of Wooyoung's mattress, grabbing the grocery bag he set down on the younger's desk nearly an hour ago.

"I wanted to surprise you before our. . . random outing. I barely knew what to grab you, so I just grabbed ramen bowls. But if you don't want either of these, I'll go buy you something at the cafeteria before they close."

"First of all," Wooyoung points towards the grocery bag in San's left hand. "Ramen is good at any time of the day. Second of all, you didn't have to buy me anything."

"Well, we're together now. I want to do nice things for you."

"I want to do nice things for you, too." Wooyoung whines, which tugs at the strings connecting San's heart to his chest.

"If you let me, I'll let you. Deal?" San eyes Wooyoung curiously, and Wooyoung only nods timidly.

So with permission, San heads into the kitchenette, turning on the faucet and turning on the hot water, waiting for the right temperature before even attempting to fill either of the ramen bowls. Wooyoung watches with intrigue, settled on the bed with his hands busy messing with the comforter. San doesn't break focus, finally filling the bowls with hot water and folding the plastic lid back over, setting an alarm on his phone for three minutes, waiting for the ramen to sit and cook within their container.

Wooyoung grabs his phone the minute it vibrates, watching a text from Seonghwa appear on his screen amongst other notifications from twitter and instagram.

Seonghwa-Hyung

Are you alright?

Wooyoung smiles at the text, comforted by the knowledge that his roommate cared enough to reachout. Though, he wasn't completely sure at what words San and Seonghwa shared in the hall, too focused on his own thoughts rather than the muffled conversation held just beyond his door. He wants to ask San then, but decides against it, unlocking his screen to reply back within the next minute.

I'm okay, Hwa. Just shaken up.

You know how she is.

Seonghwa-Hyung

I know. I'm sorry she ruined your morning.

She didn't, don't worry. San is making me breakfast as we speak.

Seonghwa-Hyung

He's such a nice guy, Woo.

You snagged a really good one.

I know I did. So did you, btw.

Come back later so we can talk, okay?

Seonghwa-Hyung

Of course. I'll see you later.

"Here," San silences the alarm on his phone, walking over with both ramen bowl options in his hands, offering either one to Wooyoung. "Choose one."

"How did you manage to pick ones that I like?" Wooyoung smiles teasingly, watching the sudden sense of nerves fall from San's gaze.

"I'm glad I picked up good ones," San breathes, fingers gently tapping the sides of each bowl nervously. "Do you have a preference?"

"I like this one best," Wooyoung reaches for the one in San's left hand, taking the bowl happily. San's eyes watch him, heart beating out of his chest as the younger peaks beneath the plastic cover, pupils widening at the sight of welcomed food. San adjusts the hold he has on his own bowl, warmth rising to his cheeks as he watches the younger eye his food hungrily, adjusting his sitting position to set the bowl down in between his thighs.

"Is there anything you wanted to do today?" San moves to Wooyoung's desk chair, pulling it out and rolling it towards the bed, sitting down with a quiet sigh of relief. Wooyoung eyes the elder carefully, folding the plastic cover back to expose the steam from his ramen as it warms his chin lightly.

"Well. . ." Wooyoung huffs. "I would like to go to the studio. Helps me think, y'know?"

"I thought you said that it helps you not think?"

"It does both. Besides, I don't really know how to feel about this morning."

San watches the younger reach for the chopsticks San held out in his hand that were once laid on the desk, hands dejectedly landing on his thighs with an avoiding gaze afterwards. "It's okay to feel nothing. Or to feel everything."

"I tend to just overthink, so, for once I feel really numb."

"Woo-" San blinks at the younger, completely aware that he was trying to avoid San's worried gaze. "Is there something more bothering you?"

"No, San'ah." Wooyoung stirs his utensils around, watching the broth soak into his noodles between each stir and mix. "I just know that my deadline is coming up and I'm a bit torn. I-I'd like to think about it more because the choice isn't obvious to me. As much as it seems that I'd like to just choose dance and say fuck you to my parents, I don't think I can."

"That makes sense, Woo." San takes a quick bite of his meal at the same time the younger does. San takes a moment to swallow his bite, staring down at his bowl as words fail to leave his tongue. He isn't exactly sure how to weave his way around this conversation, unwilling to deter Wooyoung away from what he wanted. But as a friend, and most importantly as his boyfriend, San finds himself stuck in a hard place. He wants to be selfish and to turn Wooyoung towards a career that he wants while also making sure that the younger would stay with the people he loved. He didn't want to see his partner miserable and upset about the future he chose, but if that was what Wooyoung chose, San truly didn't know if he could tell him not to.

"My parents are already difficult, but I don't want to make my life worse. Things are just finally getting good. . . I don't really want to stop that."

San takes another large bite, listening whole-heartedly, even with a mouth full of ramen.

"I think dancing might help." Wooyoung shrugs. "But I also miss dancing. I miss the studio."

"I know." San watches the younger mess around with his noodles again, a look of disinterest suddenly clouding his eyes. San would do anything to ease the pain of this decision, but he almost felt like there was nothing he could do.

"So, will you go with me?" Wooyoung looks up at San expectantly, and San hardly hesitates in answering.

"Of course, Young'ah."

Wooyoung smiles, finally taking interest in his food again as he takes another bite. San watches him carefully once he finishes his ramen, leaning back in Wooyoung's desk chair with a smile, listening to Wooyoung giggle and ask for him to stop. San simply shakes his head and encourages him to keep eating.

Just an hour later, both males find themselves walking their usual path to the studio. Wooyoung was clinging to San as usual, hand entangled with San's fingers, thumb brushing over the elder's skin lovingly. The weather was still roughly the same, possibly a little warmer than before, but Wooyoung felt amply warm already. San made Wooyoung melt enough as it was, and something about the elder's kindness made him feel like he was on fire.

The studio is oddly quiet this afternoon, leaving San and Wooyoung to be what they presumed as the only people within the hall itself. They turn the corner hand in hand, eyes catching a glimpse of their usual studio board and finding no names signed for the rest of the day. As far as Wooyoung could tell, he could occupy this studio until he made up his mind, staying here until he's exhausted and begging for sleep. He wouldn't force San to stay with him, somehow finding the quiet comforting as the question lingers well within his soul. Does he choose his parents, or does he dare to choose himself? He really felt like he couldn't choose.

"Here we are," San leads the younger into the familiar room, flipping on the flood lights to illuminate the wooden floor. Wooyoung hums contently, letting go of San's hand as he strolls to the center of the room, eyes taking in the sight of the ceiling-high mirrors.

"I've missed this place the last two days." Wooyoung sighs, a sense of calamity scorching through his veins. This place meant the world to him. Not only did he feel like himself here, but this place helped him come to terms with his feelings towards San, and for that, he was eternally grateful.

"I've missed seeing you here." San mentions warmly as he wanders behind the computer, waking the sleeping tower as it begins to hum to life. Wooyoung spins around, taking a smaller deep breath as he settles, finally leaning down with his hands greeting his thighs.

"What do you want to warm up to?" San asks behind the threshold of the monitor, but Wooyoung doesn't seem to have any idea of what he wants. "No preference?"

"No." Wooyoung begins stretching, legs moving outwards with swaying hips, eyes watching himself in the long mirror.

"BTS it is, then." San mumbles, scrolling and typing a few times on the keyboard before finally playing a song. Wooyoung raises a brow once the music rolls through the speakers, straightening his posture the moment the choreography appears in his memory. San strolls around, stretching his arms briefly, adjusting the usual black cap covering his dark hair before standing behind Wooyoung, smiling at the younger once he finds his eyes within the reflection of the mirror.

I can't understand what people are sayin',

Who and what do I need to follow?

With each step then again grows this shadow,

Where is this place I open my eyes to?

Maybe Seoul or New York or Paris,

I get up, unsteady on my feet (yeah).

The choreography is simple for now; subtle, quick movements accompany tight footwork that seems easy enough to follow. It's fluid, but Wooyoung and San keep tempo, dancing in tandem, almost as if their usual routine was never interrupted by sudden clashes of emotions and longing.

(Look) Look at my feet, look down.

The shadow resembles me,

Is it the shadow that is shaking,

Or is it my feet that are trembling?

Crouching and bouncing back up, Wooyoung counts every beat and every step, closing distance with the mirror as he moves, finally feeling the music sink into his pores. San is watching him, and for once, San isn't worried; he's infatuated.

Of course I am not unafraid,

Of course it's not all okay.

But I know,

Awkwardly I flow,

I fly together with that black wind.

Maybe it's the way he's dancing, or perhaps the thought behind it all, but Wooyoung feels good. His mind is blank for the first time in weeks, and something screams for peace.

(Hey, na-na-na) Gotta go insane to stay sane.

(Hey, na-na-na) Throw myself whole into both worlds.

(Hey, na-na-na) Can't hold me down 'cause you know I'm a fighter.

Carried myself into this beautiful prison,

Find me and I'm gonna live with ya.

The movements turn sharp, arms outstretched and swinging, crouched at the waist, eyes narrowed with each snap attuned to the beat of the song. Wooyoung feels alive. It's all he's ever wanted. He can breathe, he can be free of thoughts that grew on his brain like a tumor, and for once he finally feels a weight drift off of his shoulders. Wooyoung held secrets for weeks at a time, and now ridding himself of worrying about every single lie threaded through his brain, he feels at peace.

(Eh-oh) Bring it, bring the pain, oh yeah.

(Eh-oh) Come on up, bring the pain, oh yeah.

Rain be pourin', sky keep fallin',

Everyday, oh-na-na-na.

(Eh-oh) Bring it, bring the pain, oh yeah.

Wooyoung and San stand side by side, hands moving in a simple, waving choreography, but opposite each other until they match again, then waving their arms and crouching at the waists again, taking three steps to the right in tandem.

Something inside of Wooyoung snaps. He's so fucking happy here, right now, dancing with San and smiling at his own reflection.

Once the chorus dies down, Wooyoung stops, chest heaving and breaths leaving parted lips rapidly until he turns with his hands on his hips, looking at San with a smile curving upwards. The music keeps playing and San keeps dancing for a moment until he notices Wooyoung suddenly stops, so he stops too, turning to look at his partner with a confused gaze. But Wooyoung can't compose himself.

This is what he wanted. There was nothing more in the universe that Wooyoung wanted more than this. He wanted to dance with San, wanted to feel the music and wanted to be here everyday practicing the one thing he loved. The music rages on, but Wooyoung can't hear it. He's so glued to San's gaze, tears leaking over as he finally realizes what he wants. It didn't take long, and secretly he knew it wouldn't.

Something woke up inside of him, a burning desire to fight for a life he wants and not what someone else wanted for him. San made him want to be better in every aspect, mentally and emotionally, figuring out how much his own self-esteem mattered rather than the opinion of roaches.

"Woo? Are you crying?" San rushes to him, hands finding the younger's shoulders worriedly.

"I'm okay, I just-" Words leave Wooyoung, unable to escape the unexplainable reality of something he dreamed about for years. San stands there patiently, waiting for the younger to figure out what he wanted to say, but instead Wooyoung races forwards and kisses San happily.

San doesn't protest, nor would he ever, hands drifting to Wooyoung's jawline, soothing the skin there with gentle, circling thumbs.

"I want to dance." Wooyoung breathes the moment they part, eyes assured and focused, hinted with little regret as he realizes what was ahead of him. "I want to dance, so badly. I want it more than anything."

"Woo-" The younger kisses him again, stealing words and breaths away from San's lips for another second, rejoicing in the truth that fled from his lips.

"I want to dance with you. I want to attend class with you and I want to practice with you. I just want you." Wooyoung mutters, listening to the song break into its second chorus. San smiles at him, eyes searching Wooyoung's honest gaze for a second before wiping the tear stains off of his cheeks.

He now realizes what his heart wanted at the dorm earlier, begging and pleading for San when the words muttered from his lips without thought. I just want you.

He didn't want him in the way he thought, at least not yet, and instead he wanted a future routine to meld with San, to see him and be with him every moment he could. That's what he wanted. It's all he ever wanted.

"You already have all of me." San murmurs. "Always."

"I'm gonna put my request in tomorrow." Wooyoung nods, watching San gaze at him adoringly.

"Are you sure?"

"More than I ever have been." Wooyoung's gaze doesn't waver. San wanted to believe him, but an ounce of anxiety settled into his heart, wondering back to what his mom had said to him at the medical building, hoping and praying that he wasn't acting out of pure anger and resentment.

"Okay." San settles on agreeing, watching Wooyoung's gaze turn towards the speakers.

"Can you restart the song? I want to dance it the whole way through this time."

"Okay." San smiles warmly, pressing a gentle kiss to Wooyoung's nose. "Let's go."

San walks away, leaving Wooyoung alone in the center of the studio, eyes on the computer as he reaches for the mouse and restarts the song. Wooyoung listens to the sound of a marching drum ring through the overhead speakers, heart beating passionately for the first time in a long time. San rushes over to stand back in his original position, eyes glancing into the mirror again, staring into Wooyoung's gaze. Wooyoung looks right back, and for a second, San swears he sees a new version of his boyfriend appear. A version that he'd love to get to know and embrace; one he knew he could learn to love.

"San'ah?" Wooyoung asks, standing in the bathroom after brushing his teeth.

San turns his head, sitting in Wooyoung's desk chair with a controller in his hands. "Hm?"

"Has Seonghwa texted me back yet?"

San puts his controller down, pushing the chair to roll over to Wooyoung's side table, reaching for his charging phone and tapping the screen awake. "No, he hasn't."

A picture San didn't expect lay as the lock screen wallpaper, one obviously taken in secret. It was a picture of their hands tangled together, nestled between them as they walked, keeping their identities anonymous but showing that he cared about someone enough to show them off vaguely. San's heart nearly bursts.

"Shit." Wooyoung sighs, turning off the bathroom light as he trudged back towards his bed, reaching to take his phone from San's hand. "I hope he's okay."

"He's with Joong, probably. He's alright." San looks up at Wooyoung, trying to gauge his expression, but it reads nearly unreadable.

"I wanted to talk to him tonight, but I guess he's busy."

"Don't think like that." San watches Wooyoung settle onto his bed, grasping onto his phone as if he was nervous about something. His eyes were casted downwards, dejectedly staring at his blank phone, but he doesn't seem sad. San can't place what expression lay unreadable on the younger's face, but he feels empathetic nonetheless.

"There was just something I needed to ask him about. I needed advice about something, and for some reason he knows how to draw out the truth from me." Wooyoung rolls his eyes, tossing his phone off towards his pillow. "I just wanna know where he's at."

"Call him."

"I don't wanna impose." Wooyoung pouts, but San smiles at him, hand reaching to brush a strand of hair out of the younger's eyes.

"You're not gonna impose, Woo. Just call him. See what's going on."

Wooyoung sighs deeply, reaching for his discarded phone. "Go back to playing your game."

"Fine, I will." San looks at him, leaning closer as his hands find Wooyoung's thighs. Wooyoung eyes him curiously with a growing smile. San kisses him once, then pulls away, but Wooyong's hands preventatively find the back of his neck to pull him into one more longing kiss, parting from him with doting eyes.

San leans back into his chair, rolling back towards Wooyoung's desk without another word, grabbing his controller and continuing to play as if he was never interrupted.

Wooyoung watches him for a second before calling Seonghwa, eyes focused on the floor as the line rings and rings.

"Hello?"

"Hyung!" Wooyoung excitedly breathes, relief coating his skin.

"Sorry, Woo. We got carried away. We went to eat and then we went shopping, it's been a busy day. Are you alright? What's up?"

"I was just wondering where you were."

"How sweet of you," Seonghwa hums. "I'm on the way back, I promise. We're stopping at the convenience store first. Do you want me to bring you guys anything?"

"You know San is here?"

"I mean, it was a good guess. Do I win a prize?"

"Shut up, hyung." Wooyoung rolls his eyes. "Can you bring me back snacks? Just whatever you'd normally get is fine. I'll eat anything."

"Alright. We'll be back soon. Did you still want to talk, or?"

"We can talk whenever, Hwa. Just get home safe."

"Don't worry, I'll be quick."

The call ends and Wooyoung tosses his phone again, looking at San and smiling at the focused features glazed over his expression. His eyes were slightly narrowed, brows furrowed, teeth gently biting into his bottom lip as he focused on his meaningless sports game, controller in between his hands with buttons being pressed and triggers being pushed.

With intrigue, Wooyoung grabs Seonghwa's desk chair, scooting it towards his own, watching San's game right behind him. San is incredibly focused, almost unaware of Wooyoung's movement within his own dorm, so Wooyoung finds it incredibly hard to ignore the urge to tease him. His hands slowly wrap around San, standing from his seat to place his hands on the elder's hips. San twitches slightly under his grasp, nearly immobile and focused on his game, not making a single sound. Wooyoung takes this as a challenge.

"San'ah," Wooyoung teases near his ear, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. His hands drift further down, trailing fire in their wake, and San suddenly begins to shift in his seat. "Are you focusing?"

San only hums in response, taking a deep breath with a smile peaking across his lips.

"I think I know how to encourage you," Wooyoung whispers, kissing his cheek, then trailing down and kissing his jawline, pressing one more kiss below on his neck.

"Encourage me, hm?" San mutters, head tilting slightly away from Wooyoung, giving the younger more access if he wanted it.

"Let me encourage you, San'ah." Wooyoung begs, pressing a few kisses to his neck once more, reaching further over him, hands spread across his thighs and gently digging into his flesh. Wooyoung takes a few steps forward, bravely reaching his hands upwards, dragging a scorching trail from San's thighs to his waist, fingertips just barely reaching beneath the hem.

San's game ends and he tosses the controller onto the desk, quick breaths leaving his lips as he turns around, hands immediately wrapping onto Wooyoung's waist as he pulls the younger closer, nearly onto his lap.

"Woo-" San breathes, eyes blinking closed with timid hands that reach and pull, not knowing what he exactly wanted in this private moment that remains undisturbed.

"Shh, baby." Wooyoung teases again, sinking a hand below the hem of San's joggers.

San is partially worried this was too much and too fast, but he isn't going to stop Wooyoung. Not now, not ever.

Wooyoung has hooked up several times with several people he's deemed as a mistake, but he's never had feelings as strong as this towards someone he's initiated sex with. This was all new, let alone kissing and whispering to the one person he was going to be intimate with. He's blissfully unaware of how much he likes San, heart crying for something more as he reaches a faithful hand further down, finally feeling the elder between his thighs.

San lets out a hushed groan, hands bringing Wooyoung's face to greet his own and press against his lips. Wooyoung begins to move his hand, sliding his tongue into San's mouth sinfully, tasting unfamiliar territory that quickly became intoxicating. San was like a drug. He was addictive, and from the moment they had met, Wooyoung never felt like he could ever have enough. He always wanted him around, watching him practice and sitting next to him in lecture, wanting nothing more than to give in to his lustful wishes.

Nightmares that soon change into fantasy become reality at this moment, though the situation is slightly reversed, but this was exactly what he had dreamed about.

"Young'ah-" San pleads against Wooyoung's lips, but Wooyoung shushes him quietly, pressing one more kiss to the elder's lips before hesitating an inch away, smiling at the noises that escape San's barely parted lips.

"Hello?" A voice enters into the dorm and Wooyoung's hand immediately retreats, feeling San's hands gently push him away as his own thread through his hair to fix messy locks. Wooyoung quickly fixes his shirt and turns towards his front door, making sure to adjust his expression the moment he makes eye contact with his roommate.

"Hey." Wooyoung smiles, eyeing the grocery bags in Seonghwa's left hand before realizing that Hongjoong was right behind him with another bag. "You got a lot of stuff?"

"Yeah, I went a bit overboard." Seonghwa smiles, setting his bags down on the countertops nearby, then turning to peer around Wooyoung, spotting San sitting in Wooyoung's desk chair quietly. He was a little suspicious, but he didn't think too much of it. "Hey, San'ah."

"Hi Hwa," San struggles to choke out, but smiles through it, a hand protectively settled over his lap to hide their lustful secret.

"Well, there's a lot of options for you there. Just take whatever you want." Seonghwa looks at Wooyoung, then turns towards Hongjoong with an affectionate grin.

"San'ah?" Hongjoong questions from across the dorm, hand grabbing onto Seonghwa's wrist for a moment before pulling the male into him.

"Hm?" San peaks around, making eye contact with his roommate.

"Are you coming back tonight? Or are you sleeping here?"

"Whatever Woo wants. I'll let you know." San watches Hongjoong nod in response, his eyes soon trailing towards Seonghwa as he looks at him lovingly.

Wooyoung turns to look back at San, a shy smile curled on his lips as he looks at him for a moment and turning away soon after, mind dizzy from their intimate moment just minutes ago.

"Woo, we can talk now if you want to. We can send the boys out to their dorm for a bit?"

"Yeah," Wooyoung turns around, now facing San completely, leaning down towards him with a lustful gaze. His teeth bite down onto his puffed bottom lip, a smirk following not too far behind. "Let's chat, Hwa."

San leans closer, pressing a quiet kiss to Wooyoung's lips before rising from the chair and heading for the front door. Seonghwa and Hongjoong share a kiss also before parting, leaving the roommates reunited behind a closing door.

"So?" Seonghwa approaches, sitting down on the edge of his own bed. "What did you want to talk about?"

"It's about my mom." Wooyoung sits down on his own bed, hands finding each other in the same nervous tick Seonghwa was used to seeing. "She gave me an ultimatum."

"Didn't they technically give you one a little bit ago?"

"Well, yeah, but this one is worse." Wooyoung sighs, teeth grasping the inside of his cheek.

"What did she say?" Seonghwa's tone is curious, slightly concerned, yet Wooyoung doesn't feel pressured to answer. He knows that Seonghwa is trying to look out for him, and Wooyoung did want to tell him, but the truth about to leave his lips scared him more than the previous threats from his parents. This was different. She knew what she was doing when she came to visit by planting an anxious bug within Wooyoung's mind, using mental warfare against her own son because she knew he wouldn't be truthful.

"They threatened to pull me out of college completely and kick me out of the house if I didn't abide by the rules. I guess one of the professors here knows my parents and she saw me and San heading to the studio. She knows I've been lying to her, and that pissed off my dad more than I can imagine."

"So why didn't he come along? Why only her?"

"She said he was disappointed in me and that he didn't want to see me." Wooyoung's tone drops, eyes sinking to the floor as reality overwhelms his senses. "It's the one thing I didn't want to happen. I let myself get distracted."

"Who are you blaming for that? San?"

"No, never!" Wooyoung's gaze blinks upwards again, brows furrowed in slight irritation. "Myself mostly."

"I get it. But they're forcing you to do something you don't want to do. Please tell me you aren't going to fall into that trap."

"I'm not." Wooyoung's hands fidget lightly, almost unsure of himself but completely aware of what he's doing to himself. "I told San I'm applying for the dance program."

"I'm proud of you, Woo." Seonghwa rises from his bed, walking over to settle next to his friend. Wooyoung timidly turns to look at his roommate, eyes suddenly wet with tears. Seonghwa seems surprised, mouth slightly agape as he waits, unsure of how to console his saddened friend.

"I'm scared." Wooyoung mutters, hand reaching up to wipe away the tears. "I don't want to be alone. I don't want to leave. I love this shitty dorm and I love living with you. I love living next to San and seeing him everyday."

"None of it is going to change. We're going to come up with a plan to make sure they never find out, okay?"

"Find out what?"

"We're going to trick them into believing that you applied to the medical program. I have a friend in that program, so he can send me pictures of his homework and school me on some medical shit, or something. We can get through this." Seonghwa reassures quietly, and Wooyoung only nods. "San and Joong will help us too. You're never alone."

"Okay." Wooyoung takes a breath. "Thank you, Hwa."

"You're welcome, Woo. Thank you for telling me."

Wooyoung reaches over to engulf the elder in a warm hug, settling the anxiety stirring in his stomach almost immediately. Seonghwa smiles and Wooyoung does too, feeling the peace he felt earlier in the day stumble back into his pores comfortably.

Wooyoung was ready to start his new life with a new found purpose, settling into a new relationship and routine, praying that this peace would follow him like the sun, setting with love and rising with hope. He had his group. He had everyone and everything he wished for to remain happy with where he was, and that was all he would ever need.

"Are you sleeping in Joong's dorm again tonight?" Wooyoung asks before breaking from the hug, watching Seonghwa nod slowly.

"Yeah. Do you want me to go get San?"

"Please." Wooyoung smiles at his roommate, watching the elder smile right back adoringly.

"Take it easy on yourself, Woo. Get some rest and let San take care of you, okay?"

"I know." Wooyoung watches Seonghwa rise from the bed and reach for his phone and keys, but Wooyoung rises to his feet too, hand reaching to grab Seonghwa's wrist. "Hwa-"

"I know, Woo." Seonghwa turns around slowly. "I love you too, okay?"

"Yeah." Wooyoung lets go timidly and watches his roommate head towards the door, offer a small wave and leave without another word. It was a short conversation, but one that felt incredibly healing. Wooyoung turned his heel and sat on his bed again, eyes searching the ceiling the moment his back greets his mattress. He had spent so many nights searching the white-painted ceiling for answers, unaware that what he was searching for this time was completely different than the rest. He hoped and longed for understanding from his heart, praying that the internal screaming would stop, and for a moment it all did. The ceiling brought him some kind of comfort, but now; sitting in near-darkness, only illuminated by the rising moon and a dim desk lamp, Wooyoung finds himself searching for strength.

It isn't that he's weak, he'd actually argue otherwise, but he's hoping he can find the courage to stand up on his own two feet, free from his parent's chains and hold on him.

"Woo?" San re-enters the room, the door closing behind him as he turns the small corner, eyes looking down at Wooyoung laid on his back. "What are you looking at?"

"I'm just tired, San'ah." Wooyoung uses his elbows to rise upwards slightly, just enough to look San in the eyes.

"Wanna go to bed?"

"I just want you to hold me." Wooyoung pouts almost jokingly, watching San nod with a humbling sigh.

"Okay. Move over." Wooyoung does exactly that, making room for San to nestle behind him as weight shifts on the bed. San's arms find their usual place on Wooyoung's waist, pulling him flush against him with little resistance. "Do you feel better?"

"Y'know?" Wooyoung takes a breath, hand reaching down to grab onto San's. "Yeah. I do."

"Good," San breathes, pressing a kiss to the back of Wooyoung's neck.

"Are you okay?" Wooyoung asks right back, worried that the elder was hiding something and focusing purely on his own stresses and problems. But, San shakes his head, subtly tightening his grip around Wooyoung's waist.

"I'm perfectly okay right where I am, Young'ah." San presses one more kiss to Wooyoung's exposed skin. "I promise."

Wooyoung hums happily, biting his tongue at the words that fester beneath the surface. He really liked San, wondering what he did to end up in this exact situation. He felt loved and appreciated, bundled in a security blanket that he never wanted to be free from. He was comfortable here, under a spell of bliss and contentment, which would all seem insufferable to his past self.

But he was never more sure of a single thought as his eyes lulled closed and body ready to sleep, knowing fully well that he was finally safe.