That night Jamie pulled Cody aside when he dropped him and his sister off. 

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly in case Thalia could hear them.

"Yeah, I'm okay, my dad's been drunk lately, blackout drunk- which sucks but I'm coping don't worry." Cody replied.

"Y'know my house is always open to you right? My parents like you and Thalia is always welcome as usual. My parents miss her." Jamie reminded the other boy.

"Jamie I really appreciate it but I can't keep pretending that you're perfect family is mine, they really are family to me, but I have to support my dysfunctional one first." Cody said.

Jamie looked surprised by what Cody had said but quickly gave him a small smile and nodded. He pulled Cody into a tight hug, Cody took a deep breath in and lightly hugged Jamie back. He smelled like pine trees, not the gross cologne smell, but genuine fresh pine needles across a cold forest floor. It was a comforting smell, the way Jamie's arms fit around Cody's body seemed to be like a puzzle clicking into it's matching place. Cody felt Jamie's blue sweater under his palms, it was a soft material from all of the wear, Cody loved the sweater. He could feel Jamie's heart thudding against his chest, every breath he took was in sync with Cody it, was euphoric.

They finally pulled apart and Jamie waved goodbye before leaving Cody alone and cold in the November air. There was a certain crispness to it, especially with the warmth now leaving Cody's body at the idea of going inside. His breath came out in a large puff in front of him as he entered the house. 

"So, son you and Jamie?" 

Cody jumped at the sound of his dad's voice, Cody secretly hated it when his father called him 'son' it made him feel like his dad had forgotten his name.

"What about me and Jamie?" Cody asked skeptically looking at his dad for a sign of alcohol.

"I mean, are you two together?" His father asked suggestively.

"Oh my god, no are you serious? We've been friends forever that would be weird."

"Just wondering, there's nothing wrong with it if that's what you're afraid of by the way, I've just never seen two boys hug like that, that weren't dating." his father explained putting his hands up in surrender.

Cody looked at him through squinted eyes and eventually shook  his head, "I mean I don't think I'm straight if that means anything to you but I couldn't ever crush on Jamie." he lied.

"Well, son I'll support you with whatever makes you happy." 

Cody wished his dad would sober up for more than one night at a time that would make him happy, he enjoyed his father's company when he wasn't drunk. He was a chill guy. Cody smiled half halfheartedly at his dad and went to go make dinner.

xxx

Thalia came running out of her room while Cody stirred the soup he was making and gave their dad a hug. Cody looked over to see his dad's surprised face, probably about the haircut he guessed. His dad hadn't been sober since it happened so of course he wouldn't know. 

"T, why'd you cut your hair?" his father asked confused.

"Remember dad? A 5th grader at school cut my hair last week so Jamie and Cody took me to get it fixed, I really like it, I look like a fairy, the girl who cut it was nice too, she reminded me of mom." Thalia rambled, she was too young still even at 9 years old to understand that her dad wouldn't remember because he was too drunk.

Their dad's face paled at the mention of his wife, and he gulped looking more sad and defeated than usual. "Ah, yes well it looks beautiful sweetheart." 

Cody could practically hear the guilt in his father's voice, he only wished it was enough to keep him sober.

"Thalia go finish your math homework okay? I'll get you when dinner is done." Cody said sweetly.

Thalia groaned but listened anyways, and left the room leaving room for the tension between Cody and his dad to grow.

"Pops, please don't think me coming out to you makes us all good again, one day sober isn't enough to make up for the literal years, the birthdays you missed because you were too drunk to go out, or the family dinners ruined by you and mom arguing. Thalia does not deserve to have her older brother raising her, I should be doing normal teen things like going to parties and getting head from random girls or vaping or sneaking out with friends, not sitting at home making soup for our family. You need to get your shit together because I am tired of being the adult in the house." Cody said staring into the pot.

"Son, I'm sorry, but I can't stop I do try reall-"

"TRY HARDER DAD," Cody composed himself, "if you wanted to get better you would have by now, you've had more than 15 years to get out of being a raging alcoholic and you haven't, you're missing out on time you can't get back I hope you know that. Did you know you nor mom showed up for Thalia's 9th birthday last month? I had to tell her you guys had to work and try to make my little sister calm down because she thought no one loved her. She's 9 and already has thoughts like that. I can't be here forever, so you need to get it together. Promise me you will get better. Because if you don't I will cut you out of my life as soon as I'm 18." Cody ranted. 

His dad looked stunned, and didn't say anything for a minute before looking up at Cody with tears in his usually bloodshot eyes, "I'm sorry Cody, I really am. I will try harder I promise."

"Good, thank you, now please go grab Thalia dinner is ready. Hope you want soup because this tastes bomb." Cody said shortly trying to act like hearing his dad say his name wasn't amazing to hear.

When his dad left the kitchen Cody let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding, being the only adult in the house was such a hard job. He knew he shouldn't have had to lecture a grown man about alcohol, it should be the other way around but Cody knew it would never be that way. 

His dad walked in holding his daughter's hand and from far away it might have looked like they were a normal family. But Cody knew his dad, he had made this promise time and time again, and every time he broke it.  

Cody held on to the small rope of hope he had left that his dad would really mean it this time, that tomorrow when he got home he wouldn't smell of stale whiskey, shame, or bar fights. That maybe Cody would be able to focus on himself and see Thalia's smile shine brightly as she talked to her sober, normal, dad. 

Dysfunctional or not this was the only family he had so he had to make excuses for them because as soon as he let go of them he would let go of everything he had. And he didn't have much.