HEARING DAMAGE
YOUNG NOLA - CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE !

BLOOD FLOODED HER EARS, aggressively thumping in soaring speeds. Like a wild beast captured, ramming its cage to be set free, her heart crashed against her ribs. Despite this, despite the ache that settled in her thighs, she ran through the verdant forest, a thrilled grin pulling at her lips as she moved with purpose. It was a game. Capture the bone, they called it. All of them, ever since the first rays of sun began to shine and the snow of winter started to melt away, they had taken to playing this game to pass the time.

            It was also an attempt to help better the relationships of the group that had been heading towards disaster with each passing day, namely Shauna and Mari, who had been at each other's throats at every opportunity. Both girls were irksome, antagonistic to a fault. And they butted heads far more than anyone else.

            It had been Natalie's idea.

            Their leader.

            After coaching Gen on how to properly hunt for the animals that would be emerging from hibernation after a long winter, the one they looked to for guidance chose to do whatever it took to strengthen their bonds and thus, capture the bone was created.

            Nola couldn't lie. A large part of her, in fact all of her really, still believed that she should have been chosen as the new leader. It only made sense, after all. Who else was a better choice? Fucking Natalie? The very same person who had all but called the whole Wilderness thing a bullshit farce? Honestly, sometimes when she allowed herself to think about it, to think about that day, Nola had to fight back the urge to release a scream of frustration that would no doubt echo through the trees.

            But...well, she had decided that day that despite her anger over not being chosen despite being the obvious choice, she wouldn't allow her feelings to cloud her judgement. If Natalie was the leader, if that's what the Wilderness truly wanted then so be it. She would be her willing subject, follow her every instruction and be a friend to the Scatorccio girl.

            And if an opportunity to prove herself a better fit for leader to the group appeared then she'd surely take it. Everything she endured had to be worth something. She wouldn't just be the Wilderness's mouthpiece, especially not when the others had begun to show signs of hearing It.

            The times when they played this game were amazing. It was a time when she could let her mind clear of all the negativity and just be. Running through the woods reminded her so much of playing soccer. Her feet skidding on the dirt that blanketed the forest floor the way they would on the soccer field. The breeze brushing against her flushed face. Say what you will for how Natalie ran the group but her creation of the game had been excellent. Even Nola had to hand it to her.

            The thump of fast approaching feet caught her attention. At an instant and without even thinking, she pulled to a halt, sending the person who had been speeding at her from the right of the forest to go flying past her. Her eyes darted over just in time to see Stevie's body hurtling towards a tree, her hands coming up to stop her chest from slamming into the thick trunk.

            Right away, Nola's now clenched fists sped behind her back as the McClane girl glared over at her. Without a word, Nola took off running once more, a panting Stevie not far behind. Nola needed to hurry. She needed to reach the finish before Stevie could capture her.

            Before either girl could even breach the surrounding area of the finish line, they stumbled upon quite the sight. They both came to a stop, their chests falling and rising as they caught their breaths. There before them was Shauna, pinning Mari to the ground and desperately trying to yank open the girls hand. Like an untrained dog, Shauna bit the back of Mari's hand, teeth bared down hard and managing to break the skin and gnaw the flesh. Mari let out a desperate scream as pain soared through her hand.

           As the pair moved to pull Shauna off of Mari before she managed to do some serious damage, they were interrupted by an exasperated Van. "What is even happening right now?" She rhetorically asked as she rounded through trees and headed straight for the two in the dirt, Taissa and Natalie in tow.

            Taissa was quick to call out, "Hey, Shauna!" as she and the group of girls helped to rip the Shipman girl away from Mari, using quite a bit of strength to force her mouth to part with the girls hand.

            "She bit me!" Mari snarled as she was pulled to her feet. Her injured hand, dripping faint droplets of blood, was clutched to her chest with her other hand as she glanced about the group in disbelief. "You all saw that, right?"

            Natalie just shrugged. "You know the rules, Mar. You get tagged, you give it up."

            Suddenly a series of pleased with themselves smirks began to form upon the lips of Mari, Van and Nola. Mari's hands spread open and raised up high in the air as she smugly admitted, "I don't have it."

            Stevie shook her head. "Nola does." She declared with a pointed index finger over at the Rilke girl.

            "Do I?" Nola coyly responded, shifting her hands to fall behind her back again, hiding them away from the prying eyes of her competitors who all stared at her like a starved animal. They were desperate to win.

            She didn't have it but that didn't mean she was going to tell them that. Why would she give up the game when half the fun was in fucking with your competition?

            Shauna narrowed her eyes at the Rilke girl, seeing through her action instantly. You didn't spend half your life as someone's friend and lover without learning their tells. "Shit." She huffed out, shaking her head at the others to let them know Nola didn't have the bone.

            Just then, she caught sight of movement in the near distance. Stood like a deer caught in headlights, or in their case a deer caught on the end of the barrelled shotgun, was Misty Quigley, hair as curly as ever and glasses tilted on the bridge of her nose. "It's fucking Quigley!" Shauna cried out as she took off after the girl.

            Misty darted through the woods, trying her best to gather some speed and get away from the Shipman girl. Her lack of cardio as the team's equipment manager made running from Shauna a terrifying experience.

The pursuing team took off running after Shauna, leaving the smirking trio to linger back to celebrate successfully managing to lead their competition astray. By the time they had reached the finish line, Misty had actually done it. She had gotten the bone to the finish line and had secured their team a victory.

"We did it! We did it!" Misty exclaimed in glee. She pushed herself up from the ground where she had been tackled by Shauna, ignoring the dirt that clung to her clothing. "Olly Olly Oxen Free, we won!"

The victorious swarmed together in the ring of rocks, all of them bouncing up and down on their toes and chanting, "Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!" Their voices echoing through the trees and burdening the ears of those who had failed miserably.

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A STEADY, PEACEFUL SILENCE settled over the group. They had long since returned from the game and had fallen into their own little routines. From Akilah and her animals she had managed to corral into makeshift pens, to Taissa and Van acting all lovey-dovey. Everyone had nestled down and gotten into the own little groove when the unmistakable rumble of the trumpet broke their rhythm. All of their heads seemed to swivel round on their necks, facing over towards the direction of the sound to see Misty proudly standing with the bone forged horn in hand.

All those sitting down moved to stand, brushing off the debris of the forest floor from their clothes as they began to make their way over towards Van who was standing nearby, waiting patiently for the group to gather.

"Loser says what?" Mari suddenly remarked as she stepped by Shauna, intentionally leaning closer to the Shipman girl so she knew her words were aimed at her.

As Shauna came to a halt, her narrowed gaze fixed upon Mari, Natalie let out an exhausted sigh as she too walked by, the girl unfortunately having witnessed the moment and therefore having to intervene as the leader. "Knock it off, Mar."

As she passed by the girl, Nola didn't even hesitate to take a step closer and purposely crash her shoulder into Mari's, knocking the girl off course and causing her to stumble slightly. As an offended look etched onto Mari's face, Nola feigned regret. "My bad." She almost mockingly said with a small shrug.

She was practically daring Mari to keep pushing it. Winning the game was one thing. Continuing to antagonise someone you know is capable of beating you to near death is another. A couple jabs here and there, that was fine, but the quick witted remarks every five minutes was enough to piss anyone off let alone Shauna, who was recently renowned for her incredibly short fuse.

Shauna let a small smirk to form at the display of dominance that Nola had put on. "How's your hand?" She quipped with a raised brow at the departing Mari, who just scoffed and raised up the middle finger of her injured hand as she walked away.

Without a second glance at the girl who seemingly lived to piss her off, Shauna spun on her heel and began heading back towards the shelter she had been sleeping in ever since they had been erected.

This action caught Natalie's attention. She quickly called out, "Hey, aren't you coming?" while gesturing towards the rest of them who had already begun to gather at the front.

Shauna's nose turned up in disdain. Her eyes darted briefly at the group before returning to the Scatorccio girl. With a derisive tone, she muttered, "I'm good."

As she moved to walk away again, Natalie called out yet again. "Wait, it's just.."

From where she stood, nearby to the group as they all began to find places to sit before the masterful storyteller also known as Vanessa Palmer, Nola watched on as Natalie tried to convince Shauna to join them only to have her attempts thrown back in her face by a clearly uninterested Shauna. Then she saw Shauna mock curtesy.

After Shauna walked away, ducking into the shelter, Nola took a couple steps towards a defeated looking Natalie. "I'm gonna hang back. Keep an eye on Shauna, if that's alright?" She informed the girl, unwillingly tacking on an ask for permission at the end, though it stuck in her throat to say it.

            Unlike some, Nola was willing to try and keep the peace, even if bowing down to Natalie pained her deeply.

She cleared her throat. With a shrug, she explained herself further. "I doubt Van would mind. Maybe I can cheer her up or something so she's less likely to bite someone's head off."

Natalie appeared contemplative for a moment. Then came a nod. "Yeah, okay. I'll let Van know you two won't be coming." She replied to the Rilke girl, nodding her head and jutting her chin towards the direction Shauna went, letting Nola know she could go on ahead.

"Thanks, Nat." Nola then proceeded to tip her head without either girl even really noticing.

As the captivating words began to leave Van's lips, Nola began to head back towards Shauna. When she arrived at the shelter, the scratches of pencil to paper caught her ear. She peered in curiously, not enough to be seen but enough to take a peak. There she saw the Shipman girl practically tearing the page with how aggressively she pressed the pencil down, all the while her eyes darted over towards the group, a hateful glare fixed upon them all.

After a few moments, she spoke up. "Shauna?" She quietly uttered, breaking the silence of the shelter. Shauna's journal slammed shut.

"Why aren't you with the others?" Shauna asked to the room, not daring to turn her head and look over at the now approaching Nola. The sound of rocks crunching against the base of her shoes was enough for Shauna.

Nola shrugged. Not that it mattered. "I'd rather be with you?" She hesitantly uttered. It was the truth but would Shauna see that?

Clearly not. Her words caused the brunette to finally look over at her, her anger swarmed eyes taking in Nola's figure as she crouched down, knees pressed to the dirt. "You sure the queen didn't send you to check up on me?" Shauna snarked with a turned up nose.

Immediately, Nola shook her head. "No. I came here myself. I am here to check on you but not cause Nat told me to. I don't need someone else telling me to check up on my gi—"

"Is that what we are?"

She was swiftly cut off, though she was mere seconds from biting her tongue and forcing that word, that label back down her throat. It had been so long since they had even kissed that the word girlfriends felt more like a memory than a reality. Nola had no idea what type of relationship they had anymore and evidently, neither did Shauna. Instead, they existed in this strange, liminal space, where they can't seem to be together, but they don't know how to be apart either.

            They seemed to be in a state of contradiction, like two magnets constantly flipping between attraction and repulsion. They very much drew the other in just as much as they pushed each other away. Their once similar personalities had shifted massively. They carried their anger, their frustration and rage so differently.

Where Shauna burns, Nola simmers.

She's careful with her words whereas Shauna cares little for how she's perceived. But despite everything that seemed to drive between them, all of the shit that had caused their initial rift, an invisible tether existed between them, pulling them back together. Their love had never dwindled, only being moved to the back burner. They loved each other more than life itself sometimes, with a force that is overwhelming, intoxicating.

"I couldn't tell. You haven't kissed me in forever and we barely spend any time together anymore." Shauna grumbled, her voice growing increasingly faint as she reached the end of her sentence. It was as if she didn't want to appear vulnerable in front of someone else.

Nola stared over at the girl. "Come here." She then beckoned with a wave of her hand. When Shauna didn't budge, the Rilke girl stared pointedly at her, her dark eyes steady, expectant. "Come here."

Shauna hesitated, her weight shifting from one foot to the other. But no matter how much she fought it, she always caved when it came to Nola. Of course, she did. With a begrudging sigh, she shuffled forward, though the moment she was close enough, she let herself fall into Nola's awaiting arms like it was second nature. And maybe it was.

            The warmth of the embrace hit her all at once, wrapping around her like a heavy coat in the dead of winter. It felt so tight, so familiar. Like that afternoon after they had won sectionals, when they had collapsed onto Nola's bed, tangled together, laughing breathlessly into each other's skin. The memory was so sharp, so real—Shauna could almost smell the faint lavender of Nola's shampoo, feel the brush of her fingertips tracing lazy patterns along her back.

            If she just closed her eyes, she could pretend. Pretend they were back there. Back when they still loved in secret, back when they made plans to get out of New Jersey and travel the world.

A small sigh tore through Shauna's lips, her breath hot against Nola's throat. She pressed her face into the crook of her neck, her nose brushing against the soft skin there. She could feel the steady thump of Nola's pulse beneath her lips, the quiet, rhythmic beat grounding her. It was so easy to let herself sink into it, to imagine none of the awful shit between them had ever happened.

Then, Nola's voice cut through the silence, quiet but firm. "Is that what you want? For me to kiss you?"

"I don't know." She did know. Of course, she fucking knew. She wanted it so badly she felt sick with it. She wanted Nola to kiss her, to fix them, to make everything go back to normal. She wanted to erase everything they had become, everything they had done.

Nola went quiet. She realised now that maybe Shauna hadn't understood her reasonings for keeping the distance. She exhaled slowly, as if gathering her thoughts. A moment passed, and then another. The quiet stretched between them like a fragile thread. When she finally spoke, her voice was softer, but her words were sharp-edged, deliberate. "Shauna, I haven't kissed you for a reason. One, cause I will still so pissed at you, rightfully so. Two, and this one is important,"

"I didn't feel like it was right. You were pregnant, with Jeff's baby and yeah, I'm not gonna lie, it hurt." The words hit Shauna in the chest like a slow, creeping ache. She pulled back slightly, just enough to meet Nola's eyes properly. There was no malice in them, no anger—just quiet honesty.

Shauna pulled herself back slightly from the embrace to stare curiously into Nola's eyes. "But then, the worst happened, and I just couldn't, Shauna." Nola's voice cracked, just barely, and she shook her head as if to shake off the weight of it. "It would have felt like I was preying on you, preying on your emotions, and I would have fucking hated myself."

The Shipman girl's throat felt tight. She could only manage a small, quiet, "I wouldn't have minded."

            "I would have."

            For a moment, they just stared at each other, the air between them thick with everything that didn't need saying. Shauna's gaze became dejected. Nola's grew sad.

            "Hey." Nola then muttered, grabbing Shauna's attention once more. She didn't even know who moved first, if it was her or Shauna, but suddenly, there was no space left between them. The kiss was soft, hesitant. Something they didn't consider themselves even capable of anymore.

            Nola's hand found Shauna's cheek, her thumb brushing gently over her weather-worn skin. Shauna quickly grabbed hold of Nola's wrist, periodically squeezing to remind herself that this was actually happened. When they finally parted, her forehead rested against Shauna's, their breaths mingling in the space between them.

            "I still love you, Shipman." The brunette admitted with a small, almost breathy chuckle. She barely got her words out before Shauna dove back in, the girl unwilling to part from the one sweet reminder of normalcy she had left in her life.

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author's thoughts.
chapter forty five, not proofread
actually can't believe yellowjackets is back and my crazy cannibals have returned. I'm so excited to begin writing for the show again and writing Nola who is one of my favourite ocs of all time. So she and Shauna are finally back together but as we all know that won't last forever. Nola still feels anger towards not being chosen as leader. I plan on Nola becoming leader at some point but I'm not sure when, I'll have to see how the season plays out so please don't expect updates as the episodes come out as I'll need the entire season to figure out if I can execute my plans. Anyway I hope you enjoyed :)