"I'm going to need you to distance yourself from each other for a while. At least until the rumors die down."

Before Minho could say anything, Hyunjin was already complaining. "What?! But the management probably doesn't care! They've never cared a lot and we've been through worse!"

It was clear that it upset Hyunjin and Minho wasn't liking it either. He was his world, his everything. Could Chan really just take him away like that? After he had been looking for his happiness for so long? He didn't want it to happen. He didn't want to be left alone again. He needed Hyunjin by his side, they needed each other more than anything else.

There was no 'other lifetime' where they would be happy together, he would never say that he wished he had met Hyunjin when they both weren't successful idols.

Because he was glad he had met Hyunjin at the survival show. He was glad he managed to come back and debut with him, spend years with him and eventually fall in love with him as Lee Min-ho. He wouldn't want to be anyone else.

"Chan, the rumors are never going to end", Minho began and gently took a hold of Hyunjin's hand. "Hyung, fans have seen us do worse than just that. We promise it won't happen again. They don't even know why it happened. Hyunjin could have just needed a hug." Minho was trying, he truly was. The arguments sounded horrible but.. did their management really care that much about something as small as that?

For a moment he thought he had convinced Chan when he heard how loud he exhaled. Was he giving up?

"I have made my decision. You're going to distance yourself from Hyunjin and I don't want you two alone in public. I especially don't want to see you two give the fans any ideas. It's not good for your idol image. And I don't want you two disobeying my decision. I'm doing what I have to do as the leader of the band."

Minho's heart shattered. He had never experienced Chan quite like that. Did he not care about his feelings at all? Was it not obvious that he was absolutely in love with Hyunjin and all he wanted was to be with him?

Letting go of Hyunjin's hand after that felt impossible, as if they were stuck together. Because as soon as he would let go, he would never get to touch it like that again.

Accepting Chan's decision was hard. Especially because he never got to kiss Hyunjin one last time, as he was sent back to his dorm right away.

From what he's heard, Felix was with Hyunjin now. "It's a best-friend-emergency", he had said as he grabbed a wine bottle. "I'm not kidding. I don't think I have ever seen him like that. It's bad, Minho."

Was Hyunjin crying? He probably was. And what made it worse was the fact there was absolutely nothing he could do. If he'd text the other, he could potentially make it worse. He would make Hyunjin be in more pain and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

Perhaps they were overreacting. It was supposed to be for just a couple months. But with the look Chan had given them, it was obvious he knew about their relationship and wanted them to break up. The friendship was allowed to come back, but that was not what they wanted.

In a way he understood Chan. Becoming an idol had been his dream his entire life and he wouldn't want anyone ruining it, but Minho's goal in life was finding true love. And upon falling in love with Hyunjin, he had thought he had managed to reach that dream. Only for it to be ripped away from him.

Felix did not come back that night. He didn't sleep in their dorm the following day after either, until he had already been accompanying Hyunjin for an entire week. And it hurt.

Texting Hyunjin would most definitely make him sad. At the same time, not texting him would also hurt his feelings. It was as if they had silently broken up, even though both of them clearly didn't want to.

"Jisung, you don't understand", he had said when Han became so worried he decided to pay him a visit. "Then why won't you explain? Minho, we're god forsaken friends! If you want me to help, you're gonna have to tell me what the problem is!"

"Hyunjin! Hyunjin is the problem!", Minho finally had let out after holding it in for a good minute. Jisung had kept asking him, nagging and not letting go. And upon hearing that, it seemed as if Han had been even more enraged. "Oh, so first you're all over him and then you complain about how he's the problem? Minho, what are you trying to say?!"

And at that point, he could no longer keep it a secret. As he had grabbed both sides of Han's shoulder, he looked him in the eyes.

"I'm in love with him, Jisung. I've been in love with Hyunjin for months, we've been dating. All this time. He was my boyfriend. And Chan took him away. And now there's nothing I can do. There's absolutely nothing I could do to show him that I still fucking care because I cannot see him!" And when the last sentence had left his lips, he could feel his tears threatening to spill. It was difficult not to let them flow.

"Minho.. I-" It was as if Jisung had been speechless, perhaps even disgusted? Minho wouldn't be surprised.

Although what he hadn't expected were arms wrapping around his body, pulling him into a hug. "That's not true. Minho, we aren't idols for nothing. You can.. let him know through music."

The crying had stopped for a brief moment and Minho looked confused and offended at the same time. "Are you trying to tell me to write a song for Hyunjin?"

Jisung had nodded. "A love song. Come on, that's so romantic. And he'd definitely know it's about him if you write it right. No, he will know it's about him and for him. I wouldn't hesitate if I were you. He's already hurting."

It wasn't a bad idea. It just sounded.. really cheesy. Then again it was for Hyunjin, he'd do anything for him. Especially if 'anything' was making sure Hyunjin knew he still loved him and wanted to be with him, no matter what.

A few minutes after Jisung had left, Minho was already sitting at his table with a pen in his hand and a sheet of paper laid out in front of him.

There had been a melody stuck in his head ever since he fell in love with Hyunjin. And it would make the perfect beat for his song. No, for Hyunjin's song. It was supposed to be entirely dedicated to no other than his boyfriend.

Still, even after he had come up with the rhythm, he still needed to write the lyrics. And that was something Hyunjin was amazing at. The way he worded things so elegant made it all incredibly impressive. It was a skill Minho could only ever dream of.

The more he tried to focus on what he wanted to write, the more his thoughts drifted away to all the things he had done with Hyunjin.

The times he had rested his head on his boyfriend's lap and let the other sketch something in his cute little notebook while they watched some romance movie he loved, the times he had prepared something to eat just for him whenever he wasn't feeling well.. all the times they had truly shown their love to each other. He cherished all of those moments a lot.

Especially the sweet flower scent with a hint of vanilla that always lingered in his room after Hyunjin left to get some work done. It's smelled way too good and Minho never managed to get enough of it. He was sure most of his clothed smelled just like that with how often Hyunjin had borrowed those. Oh, he would absolutely never ask for the things back the other probably still had.

And he wished he had enjoyed their last date more. Because as he sat there, he realized that it truly was over.

Hyunjin was no longer his and he wasn't allowed to touch him like that ever again. It hurt. The realization hit him like a truck.

There were no more dinner dates, picture taking and staying up late talking about nonsense. It was all over and he was only starting to realize while he noted down a few ideas.

By the time he finished the first lines, he was already crying.

"Walking side by side,
Not even knowing that this would be our last time,
I look back to see if your scent remains
In the footprints you left behind."

How bad he wanted to go to Hyunjin and lay down on his bed again, hold him, kiss him and love him the way he deserves it.

Who would admire the stars with him, tell him his eyes sparkled just as much as they did?

Who would cook and eat with him because Hyunjin refused to do so alone?

There were so many things he did for Hyunjin, but at the same time he did so much for Minho.

He knew how a lot of fans saw him. As someone mean, cruel and cold. But Hyunjin never thought of him like that. The amount of times he was told just how sweet and cute he was truly melted his heart and helped him get better at expressing his emotions so that Hyunjin would understand. Only that he had always understood Minho. They were made for each other.

"Our story was beautiful
Please don’t forget that you mean more to me
Than the memories you left behind"

The letters were beginning to smudge due to his tears hitting the paper.

Hyunjin wasn't just his boyfriend, wasn't just the person he admired a lot.

His love for Hyunjin gave him someone to look after, but at the same time someone who looked after him. Becoming selfless — that's part of loving someone.

And Minho would do anything to get Hyunjin back, although that again would make him egoistic. He wanted his dream to come true. But he didn't want to ruin the members' dream.

"After wandering through a long day, night begins again
There’s still so many things I haven’t said"

And things he'd never get to say. Minho never told Hyunjin how much he loved the way his eyes turned into crescents whenever he laughed, how much he loved when Hyunjin held his hand and fidgeted with his fingers or how much he loved the little sigh Hyunjin let out whenever he finished reading poems before heading to bed.

There were were many things he still needed to say, but who would give him the opportunity?

"So that I’m not hurting in my dreams,
I want to softly call out to you
I can’t forget everything; as soon as I wish for it,
Will things go back to the way they were?
I know that just one word would change it,
The words I couldn’t tell you
Lock me inside a deep dream, don’t make me leave"

Would Chan let them be together again? If only he could just tell the world he loved Hyunjin. He loved him like a lover, not like a friend. Would they understand? Would they let him say it out loud?

Was what he craved no more than a dream?

"I didn’t remember, I thought I’d forgotten
That singular piece of your memory
Whenever I miss you, I’ll look back on it
The side of you that you showed me, that only I could see
At least once, will you think of me too?"

And Minho hoped he would. Minho hoped Hyunjin too would think of their secret dates, the kisses they shared, the nights they spent hugging each other.

Minho could never forget the way Hyunjin treated him. The teasing was always followed by kisses and light hearted jokes, that made Hyunjin let out that adorable giggle of his. It surely was one of his favorite things about him.

There was an entire hidden folder on his phone filled with their pictures. He could never get rid of it, the nostalgic feeling could potentially bring some comfort in the future.

"I know that just one word would change it,
The words I couldn’t tell you
Softly talking to myself"

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[2114 words]