The sound of a firework popping made my ears ring. Cuddles had yelled at Nutty for setting them off. Looking over at me and mouthing the words 'Sorry' to me. He was aware of my sensitive hearing. But I shouldn't be the one who should worry about....
I looked over at Flippy. He seemed to be shaking. His claws sticking out and his sharp teeth clenching down. His ones somewhat light voice turned into a deep growl. He seems like he was having someone of a panic attack but his eyes were off.... Why does that seem so familiar? I quickly take a cup from someone's hand. And splashing the liquid straight at his face. Probably wasn't the right solution but it was all I could think about last second.

I watched as he coughed and wiped the liquid off of his face. His breathing slowing down. Usually when I have PTSD I just splash cold water on my face to help me snap out of it. I don't know if lemonade does the same thing, but to me it looks like it does.
"Hey... Are you okay?" I asked him. Placing a hand on his back. He really was different the last time I seen him. He seemed a lot more cheerful and energetic back then. He was also very talkative too. He always brought such positivity in the military. Seeing him like this- it's like the time we.....huh... That's odd... Why don't I have any other memories? It's like I knew him but I didn't? I feel like there's more memories.... Maybe that bullet really messed up my memory somehow. But then again I kind of don't want to remember anything from the war-

He gripped his claws onto my arm. His body shaking slightly.... Before stopping. And lifting his head back up showing a smile. Kind of send shivers down my spine. "I'm okay ...thank you for that... Although next time that happens.... Please stop me." At that last sentence his face was more serious. His face kind of darkened and it's like the spring air turned cold in a second. Feeling uncomfortable - Cuddles thankfully heard her unspoken prayer.

"So sorry about that! Please forgive me!" Cuddles pleaded. Before noticing me and Flippy rather close. "Oh! You finally got to meet each other! Awesome. Why don't you all come near the picnic benches. I'll turn down the music." He offered. We both agreed.

/////

I was regretting from the whole socialing. I'm not great with conversations. I don't know how to sound friendly or informal. I know I already said this before but it's really hard for me. I've done so much yelling and screaming in the past that my throat basically feels like it's going to collapse in a minute. But I don't like putting my problems on other people so I just pretend like my issues don't exist. That's what you have to do in the Army after all-

"You were in the military longer than Flippy right? What was it like? Were you also Sergeant like him?" Said the Chipmunk. Out of all the questions they would have asked me. Why does it always have to be about war. "Your eye patch makes you look so cool...." Flaky, a red porcupine complemented me. I was also really good friends with Flaky. She was always paranoid of a lot of things and was scared of most. I'm glad she can trust me when it comes to things. So I try my best to always be there for her. I don't know what her story is but, I promise to protect her as best I can.
"Did you get your eye popped out or something?" Nutty carelessly asked me. Earning death glares from everyone. Meanwhile he just did not care. I felt Flippy hold my hand. I wasn't too sensitive about the topic. My head just hurts every time I try to think about memories.
"Nutty, you don't ask a veteran how they get their scars. They don't want to really remember about their trauma." Flippy calmly tried to explain. Meanwhile Petunia had to cover Cuddles mouth from saying very vulgar things. I wanted to laugh. Toothy also holding him back from jumping at him.

"It's fine. Its okay to be curious. I don't remember a lot-... I was shot in the face though." The atmosphere became so thick you could literally scoop it with a spoon. Everyone's attitude became pitiful and full of sorrow. Meanwhile Flippy looked like he'd seen a ghost. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to say what happened.
"Sorry, I should have kept it to myself. I didn't mean-" Next thing I know I was getting hugged by nearly everyone. "We're sorry bestie!" Cuddles yells out and squeezes me tighter. Or as tight as he could go since it didn't really feel much to me. Flaky was crying as she gently hugged me. While trying not to get any of her spikes on me.
"*Sniff* Thank you for your service." They really didn't have to do all this. I wanted to cry too but I held in my tears. Soldiers don't cry after all. They were all being way too sweet. I didn't deserve all of this. It's not like I was a hero or anything.... Another pair of arms wrapped around my waist too.... Except this grip was a lot tighter that actually felt tight. And I know exactly who it belong to- .....
"I am sorry..."

/////

I was now finally home. I did make sure to thank everybody for inviting me. They didn't have to but they were so kind enough to allow me to. Since I kind of just ruined the whole feeling of the sweet atmosphere. I'll have to make it up to them somehow... Flippy on the other hand. He seems so off.... Every time I try to think of a memory it's like my body refuses. I want to talk more with him but, he doesn't seem to really want to talk about the past.
He seems more intrigued about the future. Asking me questions like where have I been, am I seeing someone, am I dating someone, am I married, am I okay?... He really seemed more interested in my love life than anything- I didn't think too much about it. But his eyes though.... Was I seeing things? They were definitely glowing a lighter green than before. Maybe I can find a way to talk to him more. We both may be veterans .... But you always respond to your Sergeant Major. And I hate being ignored.

I leaned over my sink in the bathroom. Looking at my features in the mirror. I couldn't help but stare at it with a displeasing look. On my right eye I had very heavy dark circles. A few bald spots on my fur from scars. And of course my eye patch sticking out like a sore thumb...
The fabric always irritated my face. So when I'm inside I tend to take it off. I'm doing the eye patch and tossing it to the side. I look at my gaping hole that used to be my left eye. It was horribly healed and just looked disgusting. Remembering the pain.... It looked so dark almost like you can stick your finger in it. Healing it was the worst part.... I had constant migraines over and over again, no matter how many painkillers I took I could still feel it. Nights I could never sleep because the pain was unbearable. I developed insomnia.
After that I kind of just refused to sleep. I couldn't. They always tell you that being in the Army toughens you up and makes you a better person.... That's only it you don't go to war. The war is way different.... It doesn't just toughen you up... It breaks you down. It digs its way into your flesh and bones. Tearing through your muscles, snapping your joint inside of your body, and building you back up like a lego set. Not to mention boot camp is way worse.... That's right....Boot camp ... That's when I first met the little guy. Well used to be way smaller back then before he somehow hit a giant growth spurt once he became a private.
He was so nervous and did not seem like the type of guy you would expect in the military. He seemed more like the type who just wanted to make friends. He definitely did not belong there. The leading officers and commanders were incredibly hard on him. I felt bad for the guy... So I used to help him out. Every time we all had to do push-ups and he couldn't make it. I would always lift my arm out to help him stay up before the leading commanders noticed.

Dare I say we were almost like friends. Even though I was way busy. It always make time for him. He was the first friend I ever had. Of course I had ended up getting away higher rank than him. Even though this would mean I would be in charge of him. I was never easy on him but .... I was at least fair.

.... I turned off the lights in the bathroom. Headed back to my bedroom. And laid down onto my bed. My fur was all tangled and kind of a mess but I didn't care. I was also out of my cop uniform and into my PJs. Which mostly consists of a large t-shirt and some shorts.... My eyes wandered around my bedroom. Hopefully waiting for the sleep pills to kick in to see if these would help. That's when I noticed something sticking out on my bedroom closet.... The same camouflage colors that do nothing but bring headaches. I turned the other way to avoid seeing it.... Tomorrow is a new day... But sometimes I always wish there was no tomorrow.

~♥~♥~♥~♥~