•| ⊱✿⊰ |•
𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍

{Warning! Mentions and use of alcohol and substance abuse! Please read with caution!}

𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 been known for its hot weather. Summers are the most brutal mixed with humidity. Spring and Autumn are just warm and sunny, definitely the much nicer and more bearable seasons. It does experience winter, but mostly at the start of the new year and doesn't last for very long. Not many people are dressed appropriately for when this sudden change in climate strikes, and a lot of people in the Dread can't afford warmer clothing for such occasions.

When Adrian Pine was a little girl, she used to always walk past the Dread and wondered about how people managed to make it by. Her parents, though are good people at heart, always made sure to steer their daughter away from that side of the District as it was not the cleanest and is known for its rougher parts in life. They only wanted to protect her and Adrian completely understood that. But that didn't mean she wasn't curious. She has always been a curious child, it's in her nature.

It is probably why when she witnessed a young girl around her age with fiery red hair sneak through the fences and into the woods, she couldn't stop her curious mind from following her out. Adrian had never been outside of nine before, even past the fences, so she couldn't imagine what Sage Rowan was doing outside the fences illegally.

She had seen the girl in school, but had never spoken to her before. Sage was always very quiet and kept to herself. Adrian had always wanted to talk to her, but her other friends consistently advised her otherwise. They had told her that she is the daughter of the victor everyone hates. Adrian didn't understand, she hadn't been born when Deirdre Rowan won her games, but knew the woman must have done something bad to get the reputation she has. Of course she heard what she had done, but she doesn't like forming opinions by second-hand gossip.

Adrian never regretted following the redhead through the fences, even though it had almost cost her her life. She had gotten distracted and lost sight of Sage, so she immediately started panicking because she did not know her way back. That is when she started calling out for Sage, hoping she would hear her and help her. But unfortunately, it had brought some unwanted attention and as she turned the corner of a bunch of branches, she came face-to-face with a very large wolf.

Adrian had never seen a wolf before, but judging by the blood on its mouth, it was currently hunting. Adrian thought her life was over. Twelve years old and she was going to leave the world without accomplishing anything she wanted to do, and that was to make a difference for those who were worse off than she was.

Thankfully, the wolf was scared off when a large branch was thrown at it and the next thing Adrian knew, someone had gripped her by the wrist and was dragging her back to the fences as quickly as possible. Adrian has never been called an stupid idiot before, but Sage Rowan was not one to mince words and wasn't afraid to call her out on just how stupid she was for going out there unprepared. Adrian had cried like a baby, to which Sage seemed uncomfortable with her hysteria and tried to shake her. Adrian couldn't go back to pretending like they didn't know each other, especially when she discovered Sage lived in the Dread with a sweet old woman named Hyacinth.

Adrian felt it was her duty to repay Sage for saving her life and tracked her down with a basket of vegetables and some bread from the bakery. Sage hadn't really been so welcoming, tried to push her and her gift back out the door, but Hyacinth was much nicer about it and insisted she stay. Soon, it became a habit. And as Adrian brought things for Sage and Hyacinth, Adrian would tell Sage all about herself as she helped her care for Hyacinth since it was hard for her to move around. Adrian knew Sage was only tolerating her because of Hyacinth, but she didn't care. She thought Sage deserved a friend, and Adrian was determined to make sure she knew she had someone in her corner, whether she wanted one or not.

Adrian wasn't stupid. Over time, she started to understand just how much Sage has suffered. She didn't understand how exactly, but knew Sage isolated herself for certain reasons. Sage is very defensive and doesn't let anyone get away with making fun of her or even bringing up the rumor that she was a 'Capitol baby'. Adrian had spent so many times trying to pull her self-appointed friend away before she did something to one of those mean kids, but it was always very hard and Sage rarely listened to her.

After a couple years, Sage just seemed to adjust to her presence and had even opened up to her, but only barely. It was something. Up until six months ago, Adrian was fully convinced that their friendship will always be one-sided and she had learned to accept that. It may seem strange, but Adrian saw Sage as her best friend, mainly because she was the only one who seemed to always tell her the truth and never worried about hurting her feelings. She never had to worry about Sage telling her what she wanted to hear like her other friends because she was the mayor's daughter.

So when Adrian's name was picked during the Reaping Ceremony, she swore on everything she held dear that that was it. She knew she didn't have the physical or mental strength to win the Hunger Games, she could barely stomach watching them from the comfort of her home. Her talent was making outfits whenever she could get the fabric and sketching designs in the sketchpad her dad had given her when she was ten years old. She didn't have any upper body strength and she didn't know how to hunt for food. She wasn't resourceful because she had been very sheltered as a child. And up until she was reaped, she didn't understand just how much she had taken life for granted until then.

Adrian had been absolutely terrified. She knew she wasn't going to survive in a fight against the other tributes, she was the weakest link. She had been sobbing because she knew she was never going to see her parents again. The first thing she did was run to her dad once she was on the stage, who had already been out of his seat, tears in his eyes. She was not going to make it out of whatever arena the Gamemakers had conjured up.

Until a hand rose in the air and a familiar voice Adrian knew all too well volunteered to take her place.

Adrian Pine had almost stopped breathing when her eyes landed on Sage Rowan's hand in the air. She had been so stunned and beyond confused. Why was Sage volunteering to take her place? She doesn't even like her. She only tolerated her presence. It just didn't make any sense.

But when Sage gave her that small, barely visible smile- that is when Adrian knew she had been wrong all along. The truth was, she had made a difference in Sage's life. It wasn't just a one-sided friendship she convinced herself it was and had accepted. She had wormed her way into Sage's closed off heart and made an impact so huge that she was willing to sacrifice herself to save her life by volunteering to take her place. It was something Adrian knew she was never going to be able to repay, but she knew if anyone had a chance of winning the whole thing, it was Sage Rowan.

And she did win. Sage actually won and came home six months ago to this date. Adrian hoped and rooted for her. She watched every single day and cheered so loudly when Sage scored one of the highest scores in her individual training like an actual Career. She admired the dress she wore in her interviews and cried when she referred to her as her best friend. She had been happy Sage made an alliance, though surprised because she had been pretty sure Sage was going to go at it on her own, but she appreciated that she had him because it seemed like he had her back, especially when that boy from seven had found them in the cave.

Adrian had laughed when Sage told Lorcan about her silly name for her incredible memory and had cried again when Sage opened up to Lorcan about being homeless and about how their District treated her because of her mother. The other residents had bowed their heads in shame when she mentioned it, as Sage continued to prove again and again that she was nothing like her mother.

But nothing can compare to the silence that spread all over the District when Sage confessed to Lorcan and all of Panem that she never planned on actually winning the games. That silence... that silence was deafening. Adrian had never seen the District go so quiet. But instead of actually focusing on the rare moment, she was busy staring at the projection, her parents trying to hold her back as she had gotten out of her seat and listened to Sage's confession.

Sage never planned on coming home. She wanted to be taken out in the bloodbath. She wanted to die because everyone, including her own mother, made her feel so alone and worthless in the world that she felt like she had nothing to come back to. That Adrian was better off without her.

Adrian wasn't used to feeling anger. She didn't like that kind of emotion. She was the embodiment of optimism and happiness. All she has ever wanted was to make people feel better and to help those who needed it. But hearing Sage's confession- hearing how she had given up and the only reason she made it that far was to save a boy she barely knew from a career District because she believed he deserved to make it home over her, that she was finally going to do something right in her life...

Adrian was furious.

She was furious at her own parents because they had used to try to keep her away from Sage, judging her just like the rest of this damn District. She was furious at her District for blaming a child for their mother's actions. More specifically, she was furious at Deirdre Rowan, for being such a horrible excuse of a mother that it made Adrian frustrated that she was already dead because she would love to give her a piece of her mind.

But she was also furious at Sage for actually believing that she would be better off without her. Because in all honesty, Sage was the only true friend Adrian had and she needed her. She loved her, like any best friend would. How dare she think she was better off without her. How dare Sage for thinking she knows what's best for her.

Of course, this fury didn't last long. Not as she watched the end of the games as Sage was forced to watch the boy she swore to save die in her arms. Adrian has never seen Sage cry before. And her screams...

She can still hear her screams.

Six months ago, Adrian had lost and gained her best friend back. Unfortunately, the PTSD that comes from most of the tributes hit her friend hard. Which is why she was walking through the Dread on probably the coldest day they will have this winter and found her best friend passed out behind the house she used to live in with Hyacinth, an empty bottle of scotch laying next to her.

Adrian sighed as she looked down at the redhead. The only thing keeping Sage warm was the alcohol pumping through her veins at the moment. This wasn't the first time Adrian had found her in this exact spot. On the rare occasions where Sage would actually leave Victor's Village, she would always wind up back in the Dread, trying to get into the house she no longer lived in, resulting in Mrs. Lancaster coming get her or Walker to retrieve her.

This time, however, Adrian had been walking with her new boyfriend Curtis when some kid came up and told her that Sage had passed out cold in the mud. This isn't the first time Curtis has had to help carry her home either.

"Where does she keep getting the alcohol? I thought Walker instructed all Black Markets to stop selling to her." Curtis questioned, bending down to pick up the bottle.

Adrian gave him a look. "It's Sage. People are more afraid of her than they are of Walker. Besides, these guilty people will do anything to earn her forgiveness."

Adrian then bent down and brushed her dirty hair out of her face, grateful when she heard a snore escape her lips. Sighing again, she stood up and stepped over her. "Help me get her up, please."

Curtis listened and grabbed her arm. The two hauled her up, causing a loud groan to escape the redhead's lips. Adrian was prepared to drape her arm over her shoulder, but Curtis stopped her. "It's alright. I got her."

He then bent down and threw her over his shoulder, standing up tall and straight. Adrian smiled gratefully at him and walked behind as he carried her best friend almost a mile to Victor's Village. Adrian felt her own guilt consuming her again, hating the fact that Sage was suffering and ruining herself because of her. No matter how many times people tell her it wasn't her fault, including Sage herself, Adrian knew that Sage would never be suffering from this kind of trauma if she had just kept her distance from her like Sage had wanted. If she had just listened to Sage and stopped trying to be her friend, Sage never would have let down her walls and cared for her. Which means she never would have volunteered for her and Adrian wouldn't have to watch her waste away into nothing.

It had taken them some time to get back to Victor's Village. They had earned some looks from passing citizens, but everyone knows by now to keep their mouths shut and to mind their business. This wasn't an unusual sight for them, watching as their recent victor spiraled into a bottomless pit of despair. She hardly leaves her house anymore, not even to hunt. She forgets to eat most times (more like refuses) and lashes out when people try to help her, if she was sober enough to function properly, that is. Adrian and Walker are basically her babysitters, both terrified of what she might do to finally stop the pain once and for all.

Though neither one of them had voiced it out loud, they both were thinking the same thing. Like mother, like daughter. Sage never wanted to become victor and they were so scared that she might put an end to her life just like her mother had.

Once they reached Walker's place, Adrian knocked and waited for the older victor to come to the door. When he opened the door, he took one look of Sage draped over Curits' shoulder and pinched the bridge of his nose, opening the door wider to let them in. Curtis went in first and Adrian followed in suit, Walker patting her on the back and giving her a wiry smile. About three months ago when Sage started disappearing to the Dread, Walker insisted she sober up at his place, this way he can keep a close eye on her and make sure she was okay.

After closing the door, Walker entered the living room where Curtis placed Sage down on the couch and got a look at her muddy clothes and hair. "Find her in the Dread again?"

Adrian nodded softly. "Mrs. Lancaster sent her neighbor's son to find me. Curtis just happened to be with me at the time, and offered to help."

"Offered is a bit of a stretch. More like I knew you wouldn't be able to make it this far with the dead weight." Curtis commented bitterly. He was still upset because their date had been interrupted once again, which has happened a lot since they started going out two months ago, but Adrian told him from the beginning that this was going to happen. He said he didn't mind, but given that this was the seventh time, it's starting to bother him more and more.

"Do we know where she got the bottle this time?" Walker questioned, but Adrian just shook her head. Sighing, Walker nodded his head in Curtis' directions. "Thank you, Curtis, for helping get her back here. I'll go start a bath. Adrian, do you mind staying and helping get her cleaned up?"

"Of course." Adrian agreed almost immediately, to which Curtis turned to her with a disbelief look. Adrian gave an apologetic look and as Walker disappeared into the bathroom, Curtis scoffed in frustration and started walking away. Adrian followed him and grabbed his arm. "Curt, stop. I'm sorry, alright?"

"You say that every time!" He snapped, looking down at her.

"Because I am sorry!" Adrian stated, swallowing the lump in her throat. "What do you want me to do? I can't abandon her. I won't. She's my best friend and she needs me! In case you forgot, she saved my life. And now I will save hers. I need her."

Curtis breathed heavily, his nostrils flaring. "How can I forget when you remind me every single day that she will always rank before me."

Adrian took a step back and crossed her arms. "Do not pretend like I didn't warn you going into this. You persisted a relationship with me and I told you my attention might be pulled in another direction. It is what best friends do for one another. We save each other. She did her part, now I will do mine. If you can't handle it-" she paused, shrugging her shoulders. "Then just leave."

Curtis hesitated for a minute, glaring at the floor, before shaking his head in frustration. "Goodbye Adrian."

Before Adrian could process what just happened, he walked out the door, slamming it behind him. Adrian felt the tears start to form in her eyes as she buried her face in her hands. She had expected this from the very beginning. She knew she should have never agreed to go out with him, but he had been very sweet to her when Sage was fighting in the games. He had been supported and just there for her, always trying to make her smile and laugh during such a horrible situation.

They hadn't been dating for long, but it still hurt because she really did like him. But she couldn't focus on that. It was stupid of her to even think she could be in a relationship when her best friend needed her. Sage destroyed a part of herself for her. Adrian just can't ignore that. Sage was her chosen sister and Adrian never gives up on her family.

So with that in mind, Adrian straightened up and wiped her tears away, shaking her arms out before going to the bath. Walker had already carried Sage in and set her down in the toilet, holding her upright as he waited for Adrian to come in to take over. Sage was more awake, swaying and mumbling under her breath.

Walker gave Adrian a sympathetic look, knowing he must have overheard everything as Curtis wasn't exactly the most soft spoken and patted her on the arm. "I'm sorry, Adrian. I'm sure he'll change his mind once he calms down."

Adrian just took off her jacket and shook her head. "No. He was right to leave, I shouldn't even think about being in a relationship with anyone. Not now."

Walker sighed, nodding in understanding. "I left some clean clothes on the sink along with a clean towel. Let me know if you need any help."

"Always do." Adrian nodded and as Walker closed the door, she got started with taking Sage's dirty clothes off.

A very pissed Sage lifted her hand and wobbly reached out and placed it on Adrian's hair. "Love hair. I wish I had this hair."

"Funny, I always say the same thing about your hair." Adrian responded with a chuckle as Sage continued to play with the strains of her dark brown locks.

Sage groaned. "I hate my hair."

"I know you do." Adrian responded before taking off her pants. She tossed it aside before getting up and lifting Sage up by her arm and taking her over to the claw foot bathtub. Sage stumbled into the hot water, groaning as she almost slipped sitting down. A fit of giggles escaped her lips as Adrian grabbed the cup and began to wash the dirt from her hair.

Sage suddenly stopped her giggling fit and let out a groan, her expression twisted into a nauseated grimace. Quickly, Adrian bragged the bucket Walker left in here and handed it to her just in time for Sage to puke inside of it.

Adrian choked down a sob. This was only a phase, she told herself. Sage is going to break out of this soon. She may never be okay ever again, but it won't always be this bad. Because Adrian is an optimist and she believes this with all her heart. Her best friend will find the will to live again soon and she will spend as long as she has trying to convince Sage she deserves to still be alive. No matter how long it takes.

><><><

𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓 common symptom every victor of the Hunger Games is forced to endure once they are finally free. They could be mild or extreme, usually depending on how bad your experience was in the arena. Those who were more mild found a way to cope through the pain. They keep themselves distracted by getting into a hobby, to occupy their minds and help them not remember. Then there are the ones whose nightmares are so bad, it is hard to function properly. They normally cope by drinking away their sorrows or injecting themselves with morphling to numb the pain away.

Self-medication is very dangerous, but it does satisfy the inner turmoil burning away inside of you. More specifically, it voids out the neverending nightmares, especially if you black out, it somehow puts you into a dreamless slumber. Not always, but most of the time.

For most victors, they remember parts and block out what they want to forget. It's just how their brains work. They want to forget the trauma, so they do, only really remembering bits and pieces. For Sage Rowan, however, that was never an option. She remembers every single moment down to the last detail. From the bloodbath to the moment she was announced winner, from every step they took to how many fires they started to trying to save Lorcan... it is forever implanted in her mind playing on a loop. She can't forget anything even if she wanted to.

Sage spent the first four months hiding out in her new house in Victor's Village. By some miracle, she had gotten a whole new one, but sadly, it was right next door to the one she used to live in. It made her sick because pretty much each house has the same design and interior in it, so it was like living in the same house. Sage refused to leave or do anything. She barely ate or slept. She was always climbing the walls with anxiety. She had shattered every mirror that could even show her reflection and took the door off every closet to give her some peace of mind whenever she looked at them.

It was unhealthy and she was wasting away. Until she finally found out she was able to afford the liquor sold in the Black Market. And sure enough, Sage found her outlet. At first she tried to hide it, but she learned that she couldn't stop the dreams or the agony in her chest unless she drank until she blacked out. She knew it was dangerous and reckless, but she didn't care at that point. She needed to stop the images playing in her head, she needed to stop seeing his body and she needed proper sleep, even if she had helped to do it.

So when she was rudely awoken by water being splashed in her face harshly, she really shouldn't have been surprised as it wasn't the first time.

Sage sprung upwards, gasped and shivering from the cold, her eyes narrowing at the honey blonde haired male who stood there with that stupid amused grin on his face and a bucket in his hand like he does every time. Sage wanted nothing more than to slap that stupid grin off.

"Rise and shine, Princess!" Walker stated, setting the bucket down next to the bed and then tossed a warm towel on her lap. Sage snatched it and whipped her face, almost like this was a routine. Seeing as how she wasn't in the master bedroom in her house could only mean she once again got dragged to Walker's. How she had gotten here is very foggy, which is another new thing for Sage. Alcohol, mainly scotch, impairs her memory. Which is probably why it is her go to drink. If only it could make her forget everything and not just the last hour before she passed out.

"That's getting old, Walker." Sage deadpanned, referring to the water bit.

Walker shrugged carelessly. "Not for me it isn't. Besides, it's the only way to get you awake and alert."

Sage attempted to push the covers off and move to the edge, but was hit by a wave of sickness. Her head spun and ached terribly and she sprung from her bed and rushed past Walker and into the bathroom, attempting to puke up her guts but nothing came out. She was dry-heaving for a few minutes before she forced herself back to her feet. Walker was waiting for her with a large glass of... something.

Sage scrunched her nose at the weird cream liquid. "What is that?"

"Tatyana's grandmother's cure to all hangovers. She finally found the recipe. Just don't ask what's in it."

Sage took the glass and pinched her nose, not even wanting to risk knowing what it smells like and chugged half the glass before she had to give it back, gagging and shivering at the taste. It was bitter and a bit sour... but strangely, it actually worked. And quick too as her headache was starting to lighten up.

"After you get changed, come down stairs. Adrian is making breakfast." Walker said, walking towards the staircase.

"Adrian is here?" Sage questioned, though she really shouldn't be surprised. Where her one babysitter is, the other one isn't too far behind.

"She and Curtis brought you here last night after finding you passed out in the Dread again. She left but came back to help prepare you for tomorrow."

"Ahh," Sage hummed. "So in translation, you two are going to follow me around and make sure I don't fly off the handle again so I'm prepared for the cameras tomorrow."

Walker chuckled and patted her on the back. "Good to see all that alcohol hasn't killed all of your brain cells just yet."

"Alcohol does not kill brain cells. That's just something people say to scare an alcoholic in hopes of getting them to quit." Sage explains, walking back to the guest room. "Though excessive alcohol consumption can lead to alcohol-related brain damage, which can harm brain cells and deteriorate brain function." Walker raised his brow at her and she just rolled her eyes. "Read it in some medical book once."

"Of course you did." Walker chuckled at the information. "Well, good thing you are not an alcoholic then. Right?"

Sage sent him a mock smile, knowing he was referring to all the times she simply states she is not an alcoholic and she could stop if she wanted to. She just does not want to.

Walker just chuckled and moved towards the staircase. "Get changed and meet us downstairs. Adrian made eggs and toast."

When the older male disappeared down the stairs, Sage went back to the room she figured was hers at this point and found some of her clothing folded on the window seat with clean shoes. They must have gone to her place and fetched her clean clothes, seeing as she was wearing Walker's shirt and blue pajama pants.

Once Sage was dressed, she snuck down the staircase as quietly as possible, looking back to where she could hear movement in the dining area and took each step as lightly as she could to try to escape out the door. She almost made it too, barely got the door cracked when a voice spoke up from behind her.

"We are just going to follow you out, no use in running." Adrian simply stated, causing the redhead to curse under her breath and turn to the brunette standing there with her arms crossed and brows raised.

"I wasn't running. I was just going home."

"Don't bother. I scoured that place and basically turned it inside out. I got rid of every bottle there." Adrian said, chuckling at the end. "You really ripped up the floorboard in the closet in the guest room just to hide scotch in there?"

Sage scowled miserably. "What can I say? I'm committed."

Adrian just shook her head and grabbed her arm. "Come on, you need to eat something."

"Oh, no. I am not hungry." Sage lied. She was actually hungry, but eating has been such a chore, she only did it to keep herself going, but sometimes even that was difficult.

"You're never hungry. Luckily, we learned a while ago never to believe you." Adrian resorted before dragging her to the dinning table where three plates were set and food was served. Walker was already sitting there, drinking his tea like he always did every morning and every afternoon and every evening. The man was obsessed with his peppermint tea.

Adrian forces Sage into the chair at the end of the table, to which she grumbles and leans back, staring at her plate and crossing her arms, stubbornly turning her head and staring at the floor. "I hate eggs."

"You love eggs." Walker responded quickly, not even looking at her. "You rarely ate anything else for breakfast at the Capitol."

"I like mine with cheese on it."

Adrian grabbed one of the bowls from the middle and moved it in front of her. "And before you say anything, it is sharp cheddar."

It seems they have played this game for so long they both have learned her excuses and have gotten a solution for all of them. She glared at the plate and just before she could make another excuse, her stomach made a very unhealthy growl and she was feeling lightheaded.

Walker sighed, turning to face the stubborn redhead finally. "Tatyana and your Prep Team will be here extremely early tomorrow morning to prepare you for the cameras. You know very well that the Capitol will not understand if you appear on camera looking like a skeleton. You already look unhealthy as it is and believe me, you need your strength if you are going to survive the Victory Tour."

Sage closed her eyes and tried to forget what she will be forced to do tomorrow. Whoever thought that parading the winner of the Hunger Games to every single District to remind the friends and family that they were still alive and their loved ones were dead, most likely by their hands, was a new level of cruelty. To force those poor souls to listen to an injustice and heartless speech six months after being forced to witness their deaths was just unnatural. It was barbaric and vicious and just simply despicable.

Sage doesn't know how she is going to make it through this, sober no less if Walker and Adrian get their way.

"Sage, we are just trying to help-" Adrian said but Sage cut her off by slamming her hand against the table.

"I don't need your help!" Sage snapped. "What I need to do is forget! You trying to keep me sober is not helping me, its torture."

"You have to learn to deal with it without help from a bottle. Trust me, I've seen many victors self-medicate with morphling or alcohol, it only ruins them more. You need to find another outlet for your pain and guilt." Walker explains, his voice soft yet firm. Sage scoffed, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms again. Walker shared a look with Adrian, who was trying not to cry over not knowing how to help her friend. He then looked back at Sage and prepared himself for what he likes to call, tough love. "Is this what you wanted for Lorcan?"

Sage felt her entire being freeze, and heard a small gasp coming from Adrian. Slowly, Sage turned her head back to her mentor, a look almost as similar to the one she had in the arena on her face. "Excuse me?"

Walker did not falter and kept his head held high. "If your plan had worked and you saved him, would you want him to waste away like you are doing? Would you want him to ignore his family and not take care of himself? After everything you did to protect him and save him, would you appreciate it if he didn't cease the opportunity you had given him and made a life for himself in the best way he could even if it was in this world?"

Sage was shaking, her rage igniting as she gripped the wooden table, her hand dangerous close to the knife. Adrian looked between the two nervously and Walker did not back down, wanting to push her further. "Lorcan believed in you. And he would be very disappointed if he could see just how much of a pathetic excuse you've become."

That was the last straw. Sage swiftly grabbed the knife and was on her feet, bringing it down on him, but Walker caught her wrist and stood up roughly, causing the chair to fly backwards. He twisted her arm around behind her. Sage let out a cry of pain and tried to fight her way out, but was too dizzy and for once, not strong enough. Walker squeezed her wrist hard enough so she dropped the knife and then released her, before turning her around and gripping the side of her arms tightly, getting in her face with a desperate expression.

"See how weak you've become? Before you started hurting yourself like this, you could have easily gotten out of that and taken me down without breaking a sweat." Walker points out. Sage's angry expression remained, but her lip quivered and tears were building in her eyes. "You are better than this, Sage Rowan! You are strong and you are brave and you can snap out of this! I know we can never know what it is like for you, for you to see everything so vividly, to never have a moment of release, but there are other ways for you to deal with it than trying to kill yourself.

"Because that is what you are doing. The not eating and the drinking and the sleeping outside because you hate being trapped inside for too long... you are eventually going to kill yourself and the people who care about you will be devastated." Walker desperately explained, shaking her once more as a silent tear escaped her lids. "It is not like before, Sage. You have people who care about you and who will be broken if you leave them. You are not alone anymore! Please... Please, try to get that through that thick skull of yours. If you can't try for yourself, then try for me. Try for her."

Sage looked to where Walker was pointing, only to see Adrian with her head bowed, trying to hide her tears.

Finally, Walker released his hold on as silence fell upon them, the only sound coming from Adrian's sniffles as Walker went to pick up his chair that fell over and settled back into it so he could finish his breakfast. Sage remained frozen where she stood, a huge part of her wanted to storm out of here and find one of her hidden bottles, because she knows for a fact that Adrian did not find all of her hiding spaces.

But she just... couldn't. She couldn't walk out of here- Walker's words cutting deep.

So, instead, Sage slowly settled back into her seat and instead of sitting there stubbornly like she usually does, she picked up her fork and with a shaky jittery hand she ate the eggs that were now slightly cold, but still really good.

The three didn't say anything for the rest of the meal, but it didn't stop Walker and Adrian from sharing a similar look of relief. Sage doesn't know what she is going to do... but she has a lot to think about. But she knows one thing, Walker is right, she can't look half-dead in front of the cameras. Her Prep Team may be good, but the way she acts when she is drunk, it will definitely be noticeable no matter how much make-up she is wearing.

So she made a promise to herself that she was going to try... but Sage is pretty sure the minute they step on the train, her promise might be impossible to keep.

_____________________________

I have a love/hate relationship with this chapter. I knew it wasn't going to be very excited but it was definitely necessary. My poor girl is suffering so much, but I want to assure to everyone, things get better for her. Fighting with Walker and losing was definitely the wake up call she needed, but this tour will definitely put things into perspective for her.

Hope everyone enjoyed!!