CHAPTER ELEVEN
*tw: mentions of domestic abuse*

LIKE THAT — JP SAXE
Tell me, "No, you don't have to be strong, you're allowed to be wrong"
No one's ever loved me like that

JJ SMILED AS Stella laughed beside Kie, happy to see that spending time with their friends had cheered her up from the events of her morning. It took a few hours, but after wallowing in self pity for half of the morning, Stella finally allowed herself to be distracted.

"No, I'm serious, you guys!" Stella laughed. She leaned backwards, almost falling off the edge of the boat, but Kie pulled her back nonchalantly. "Mary Shelley lost her virginity on her mother's grave!"

"That's so disrespectful," Pope sat flatly, shaking his head. "Morbid, really."

"Shut up, Priest. You literally want to be a coroner."

"Which is how I know it's morbid!"

The two honour students went back and forth, exchanging quick-witted statements until the conversation shifted into one about a body's decomposition in space (curtesy of Pope, of course).

While the others were distracted, JJ moved closer to Stella. "How you doing?" He asked quietly, not wanting to draw attention.

Stella looked at each of her friends with a fond expression on her face, then turned to give him a small smile. "Better."

"Good." JJ nodded and hopped onto the bow of the boat, letting out a low whistle as his eyes settled on something in the distance. "You guys see that? That's the Malibu 24-MXZ, the world's finest wakesetter. Number one in luxury, quality, and performance. Two hundred thousand, easy."

Stella raised a brow at his description. "You could be a boat salesman, JJ."

"You think so?"

She nodded before all eyes shifted to the purple speedboat heading their way.

"We picked the wrong parents," Pope muttered.

"I hate to break it to you guys," Kie started with a scowl, "but that's Topper and his girlfriend."

The two boats approached each other and Sarah Cameron removed her sunglasses, giving them a snide look and turning her nose in the air before they passed.

"You don't have to act like you don't see us, bitch," Kie said loudly, pursing her lips.

Stella sat up and turned to face the fleeting boat. Her hands cupped her mouth and she shouted, "I want my dress back, princess!"

The rest of the ride went by smoothly and by the time they arrived at the Chateau, they had managed to formulate a plan for the day.

They needed to find where Big John's coordinates were before fishing for gold and for that, they needed access to the internet. They decided that they were going to go to Stella's house since she and Kie were currently the only ones with power. And since the Carrera's weren't typically fond of their daughter hanging around those from the south side, Marx Mansion was really the only option.

Leaving the HMS Pogue, they piled into John B's van and headed to Figure Eight. Kie was telling them about this new song she heard on the radio as they pulled onto Stella's street, but stopped as they got closer to the house. "Uh, Stel?"

Stella looked up from the friendship bracelet she was making. "Yeah?"

"Who's that?"

Her eyebrows furrowed and she popped her head between the two front seats. Any good mood that she might have recovered from the morning was now gone as she stared at the car parked in front of her house.

"Fuck," JJ cursed, leaning over Stella to look out the window. "Is that—?"

He didn't need to finish his sentence for her to know what he was asking.

She gave a curt nod and gulped. "Probably."

"Can you handle this?"

"Hopefully."

John B looked between the pair with a confused expression on his face then asked who the car belonged to and if they should leave. Stella only answered one of his questions, shaking her head and telling him to park the car.

There was no point in leaving. If her father was committed enough to find out where she and her mom lived, then their confrontation was inevitable. She'd rather it happen sooner than later.

As John B pulled the van into the driveway, she took a deep breath. It was a feeble attempt at reigning in her emotions that didn't go unnoticed by JJ.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked, nudging her leg with his knuckle.

Stella shook her head. Talking to her father was something she needed to do on her own. The thought terrified her, but she owed it to herself and to her mother to tell him off.

"Stay in the van," she ordered, moving to open the door.

JJ gave her a pointed look and opened his mouth to protest. "Stella—"

"JJ," she returned, mirroring his stern tone of voice. There was a silence in the van as the others shared confused looks and JJ closed his mouth. "Stay in the van."

Even though its been six years since she last saw the man, she didn't want to risk her friends' safety by making the foolish assumption that his temper had changed.

Without another word, Stella slid the door open and stepped out of the vehicle.

At the same time, her father stepped out of his car.

Their eyes met as their car doors shut and Stella could feel herself growing anxious, already regretting her decision to stay.

Inside the van, JJ repeatedly smacked John B's arm. "Roll the window down," he ordered, leaning between the two front seats as the older man walked around his car and stepped onto the sidewalk.

"Who is that?" Kie questioned, studying the man.

"Sh! Shut up!" He hissed, straining to hear the conversation happening outside. He felt uneasy about letting Stella go alone and was ready to help at the first sign of distress.

Stella's father lit a cigarette and took a drag. "I didn't recognize you at first," he started with a chuckle, smoke escaping his mouth as he spoke, "earlier today at the hospital."

Stella took slow steps down her driveway and sucked in her breath. "What gave me away?"

He let out a huff. Whether it was out of amusement or contempt, she couldn't tell. "Your eyes."

She supposed he was right in a way. Her eyes were still identical to her mothers, but she knew he wasn't talking about that. He was talking about the twinkle of hesitation present in her gaze every time she looked at him. It may have been six years, but that hadn't changed.

Stella didn't think he cared enough to notice anything about her and she must have looked surprised because he let out a chuckle.

"What? I would never forget what my own kid looks like."

"That's her dad?" Her friends whispered to each other in confusion, turning to JJ for confirmation since he seemed to know more than them.

"Yes, now shut up. I can't hear," JJ muttered, eyes still trained on the older man.

"From what I've heard, you've grown into a fine young lady," her father stated.

"What are you doing here?" Stella questioned, voice wavering slightly. Her arms raised and she crossed them over her chest, the mention of him keeping tabs on her completely flying over her head. "How did you find us?"

The four teenagers in the van shared troubled glances. "That doesn't sound good," Pope stated.

JJ moved to open the door, but the others stopped him.

"Give it a second," Kie ordered, watching as Stella stepped back as her father stepped forward. She noticed JJ reach for his gun and slapped his arm. "Put the freaking gun down."

JJ shook his head. "Kie, when have you ever seen her this freaked out? You didn't see her at the hospital earlier. I've never seen her look so scared. I don't like it."

John B twisted in his seat and grabbed the gun from his hands.

Stella's father scratched his head and took another step closer to her. "It wasn't easy," he admitted. "Where's your mom? Still at the hospital?"

Stella shrugged. "I don't know. She's a busy woman, not that it's any of your business," she said quickly.

Her father's demeanour changed and he took another threatening step. "That's no way to talk to your old man," he drawled. "You didn't used to have an attitude like that."

"Yeah, well, you said it yourself. I've grown." She was no longer the trembling ten year old girl hiding behind the sofa or covering her ears in her bedroom closet. She had grown in every sense of the word.

JJ ignored his friends' protests as he yanked the van's door open. He didn't go far, he just posted up outside the Twinkie, but it was enough to show that Stella had back up.

"Who's that?" Her father questioned, glaring at the blond. "He your boyfriend? Come here, son!"

Stella's jaw clenched as JJ moved to stand beside her. "Why do you care if he's my boyfriend or not?" She snapped, her temper taking over.

"Watch your tone, Stella-Anne." Her father was standing directly in front of her now.

"You have no right to try and parent me anymore, we haven't spoken in years. Why are you even here? Do you need money or something, is that it? Because my mom's not giving you anything and I sure as hell aren't giving you shit, so you can get back in your car and drive the fuck—"

She heard the slap before she felt it. There was a ringing in her ear. Her cheek started to sting, but she couldn't even react because her friends came running out of John B's van. She stood, utterly stunned, as John B placed himself between her and her father and Pope held JJ back.

The memory of her mother's scream played in her head like a record she wished she smashed a long time ago. Flashbacks of the night before she and her mother fled came back like a tidal wave, growing larger and larger until it collapsed onto itself, swallowing her whole.

"Stel?" Kie called gently, shaking Stella's shoulder. Concern flooded her features as she stared at Stella's haunted expression. Her face blanched like she had just seen a ghost—she supposed she had, just not in the supernatural sense.

Stella turned, still in a foggy daze. The reality of the situation set in and she looked to her father, her gaze hardening at the sight. At some point in her trance, Pope must've lost his hold on JJ because her father was kneeling on the ground and clutching his bloody nose.

The string of vulgar threats leaving JJ's mouth was white noise as the ringing in her ears persisted, and in their attempt to tame JJ, John B and Pope casted a worried glance at her. It took them an enormous amount of willpower to keep a hold on JJ and not join him in pummelling the older man.

The dread seeped into the corners of Stella's mind and she took a deep breath. Her friends would ask questions that she wasn't prepared to answer. She didn't want to think about it. She didn't want to relive it. She was almost convinced that her childhood trauma was better off left unresolved. She already heard her mother's screams and shattering beer bottles when she was asleep, she didn't want to hear them when she was awake too.

"I swear to god, I'll— Fucking let go of me, John B!"

"JJ." Stella's voice had a certain edge to it that cut through the air like a freshly sharpened knife. "JJ."

He faced her when the sound of her voice reached his ears and stopped struggling against his friends' hold. His heart broke at the sight of her.

Anyone else would see a girl with a clenched jaw and a red cheek. Visibly upset, but still holding her head high. Angry, but composed.

JJ saw something different.

He saw the same thing in her as he did when he looked in the mirror.

He saw the storm brewing behind her eyes and the deep line that found its way between her eyebrows. He saw the crack in her resolve and the way her hands shook ever so slightly.

He saw her trying to be strong when all she wanted to do was fall apart.

Shoving his friends away, he took careful steps toward her. His hand raised and rested on her arms and he gave her a small nod.

Stella nodded back and JJ turned to their friends. "Let's go," he told them, his eyes falling to the older man still clutching his nose. A scowl came over his face and he took a protective hold of Stella's hand.

They gave him a look before turning to Stella. "Stel—"

"Let's get out of here."

Kie studied her for a moment. "Are you sure you want—"

"Yeah," Stella said quickly. "The hotel JJ works at has wifi, we can just go there."

Without another glance spared in her father's direction, she started walking back to the van with the blond in tow. When she looked over her shoulder, she saw that none of her friends had followed. "Are you guys coming or what?" They glanced at her father who was moaning on the ground. "Fucking leave him. Let's go."

They returned to the van, each trying to process what had happened and how quickly the day had turned.

Five minutes into their trip, Kie finally broke the deafening silence between them. "Stella..."

Stella, who was smoking the blunt that JJ had rolled for her, sighed and looked at each of her friends. They were all staring at her with some sort of concerned expression. "Look," she started, "I don't want to talk about it and I don't think you need an explanation to figure out why he's not in my life anymore. I know you care, but please, just... just drop it."

Kie went to protest, but JJ shot her a look and shook his head.

"Okay," Kie breathed, nodding her head. "Consider it dropped."

THE HEAVY ATMOSPHERE disappeared as they pulled into the parking lot of the island's hotel. Stella didn't say much after telling Kie to drop the subject and her friends decided not to push her. There was a reason she hadn't told them about her father and they guessed that his abusive nature was probably it. They tried to keep the conversation light for her sake, knowing that a she'd be grateful for the distraction.

"Alright, keep a look out," JJ said, pulling out his gun. "We're behind enemy lines."

"Yo, come on, man," John B scolded with a disapproving shake of his head. "Just put it back."

Kie looked at him in disbelief before turning to Stella. Usually, the group would use the fact that JJ was whipped for her to their advantage and ask her to talk some sense into him, but after what had happened twenty minutes prior, Kie decided that it probably wasn't the best idea.

At Kie's judgemental stare, JJ raised his brows. "What?" He questioned. "You can never be too careful."

Pope got out of the van and leaned against JJ's door. "Hey, I predict that bringing a weapon to a four-star hotel will likely cause more problems than they solve."

John B nodded. "Thank you, Pope."

"I swear to God, I'm gonna throw that thing in the ocean, JJ," Kie promised. "Put it back."

John B grabbed the gun by the barrel and shoved it into the glove compartment before any tourist or Kook could see it.

"You can't grab a gun like that," JJ said with pursed lips. He glanced back at Stella, who was blowing smoke from her mouth, then swiped his ID badge from the dashboard. "Can't forget my badge. Professional busboy. C'mon, Sunbaby, let's go."

Stella sighed and got out of the van, tossing the filter of her joint to Kie so she could throw it out. "Let's rock and roll."

JJ led the group through the kitchen and down the fancy halls of the hotel. They entered a room full of computers and everyone but Stella flocked to them.

"Coordinates, please?" Pope asked, looking to John B.

John B looked down at the map in his hands. "Uh... 34, 57, 30 north. 75, 55, 42 west."

Pope typed the coordinates in the search bar and the group waiting anxiously for the results.

"Boom, continental shelf right there," John B said once the results popped up.

"Well, if it's off the deep end," Pope started, leaning forward to get a better look, "it's not gonna be much of a treasure hunt, is it?"

John B watched as Pope zoomed in and when he saw the depth of the shelf, he tapped the table. "Shit, it's on the high side. It's only 900 feet."

"That's not too deep," JJ stated, causing the others to give him a questioning look.

"Is that doable or something?" Kie questioned, eyes shifting to Stella who gave her a shrug.

"Yeah, totally doable."

"Will we be taking your personal submarine?" Pope asked with his eyebrows raised.

John B faced him. "How do you know this, Mr. Dive Master?"

"The salvage yard," JJ answered with a triumphant smile. "They got a drone that can drop a thousand. It has a three-sixty camera and everything. It's for like, deep dives and stuff. It's exactly what we need."

"Does your dad even work there still?" Stella asked, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Yeah," John B added. "Can your dad get his grimy little hands on that?"

"Well, my dad's grimy little hands got his ass fired. I guess the salvage captain frowns on showing up shitfaced. But the drone's there. It's in the impound yard out back."

There was a pause of silence as the teens contemplated their next moves. "How much did you say was on the Royal Merchant again?" Kie's asked, eyes scanning over her friends.

"Four hundred mil," JJ shrugged.

"Four hundred million dollars?" Kie enunciated, heading towards the door.

Pope got up from his seat and blocked the door, only for Stella to stroll over and poked him in the side. He swatted her hand away and moved from the door, allowing JJ to open it for everyone. With a small groan, Pope followed after his friends. "Can't we do anything legal for money?"

The plan was simple. The girls would distract the guard while the boys snuck into the impound yard. After stopping by Kie's house to get her SUV and boat trailer, the group headed to the salvage yard.

Compared to their other plans, this one had to be one of the simplest. It shocked Stella that they had somehow managed to mess it up within the first ten minutes.

When the group met up at their rendezvous point, she expected to find that their plan failed, so it really surprised her when John B gave her a triumphant smile and held up the drone.

"Well, would you look at that?" She mused, sharing an impressed look with Kie.

JJ strolled over to her and threw his arm over her shoulder. Giving her a cocky grin, he asked, "Did you ever doubt us?"

Stella chuckled. The aftermath of her father was shrinking in the rearview mirror of her mind and she was glad that she had friends that could take her mind off it. "I did, actually," she said, pushing his arm off.

Kie watched them with a small smile before turning to the others. "Come on, let's go get something to eat."

FOLLOWING KIE INTO her family's restaurant, Stella sent a wave to Kie's dad. "Hey, Mr. C." She stopped at the counter as Kie hugged him.

"Uh, oh," he said, pulling away from his daughter. "What do you two want now?"

Kie gave him a meek smile and a hopeful look. "Guess now isn't the best time to ask for free food for me and my friends?"

Stella copied her actions, hoping that the two of their half hearted smiles would persuade him into feeding them.

Mr. C's eyebrow raised as he turned to the boys standing in the middle of the dining room. "Look at them," he huffed. "They're greedy pelicans. I told you two to stop hanging around them."

"Well, everybody at the Kook Academy hates me, Dad," Kie disclosed.

"That's not true." He gestured to Stella. "Stella loves you."

"That's true, I do," Stella confirmed. Kie shot her a look, wordlessly ordering her to go stand with the boys. "I'm not helping. I'll be over there."

She walked over to the boys who looked at her expectantly. She just shrugged and told them that Kie was handling it.

A few minutes later, Kie turned to them and ordered them to sit down. They took the nearest table, eager to fill their stomachs.

Towards the end of dinner, Kie beckoned John B over to dance with her.

Stella, who had been uncharacteristically quiet since eating, watched as Pope turned away from the pair with a jealous expression on his face. Deciding that she'd rather deal with someone else's feelings instead of her own, she stood up from her seat and sat beside him at the counter. He merely glanced at her before returning his gaze to Kie.

"You should tell her how you feel," Stella advised, watching the pair dance. Pope turned to her in shock and she let out a small laugh. "Pope, you reek of jealousy. It's not hard to figure out that you like her."

"I can't tell her," Pope said, shaking his head.

"Why not?"

He shrugged. "She doesn't like me back."

"Well, you'll never know unless you try," Stella offered, giving him a small smile.

Pope huffed and rested his elbow on the table, putting his chin in the palm of his hand. "That's rich coming from you."

Stella's brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"You and JJ," he clarified, nodding towards the blond sitting across the room from them.

"JJ's just a really good friend, Pope." There was a certain amount of sadness in her voice as she spoke and she couldn't tell who she was trying to convince.

Pope shook his head. "You love each other and it's so painfully obvious, but neither of you want to admit it because you're scared. Stella, you're in the exact same situation as me. The only difference is that JJ actually likes you back."

She gave him an unconvinced look. "I don't know about that."

"Well," his brows raised and he stood up from his seat, "you'll never know unless you try."

STELLA HAD A hard time falling asleep that night. The thoughts in her mind swirled around her head and her anxiety from the morning still remained. She must've counted the cracks in the painted ceiling above her three times over before deciding to take a walk to clear her head.

As she snuck out of the house, careful not to wake any of her friends, her mind wandered to her mother. By now she would have to know about her father's appearance and Stella was worried about how she was taking it. All she wanted to do was call her, but unfortunately the cell towers were still down.

While Stella tried to silence her mind, JJ was waking up to a cold bed. Using the bathroom was his only concern until he noticed that Stella's side was empty. His brows furrowed as he left the spare room of the Chateau and checked each room for her.

After looking in the living room where Pope and Kie were sprawled out on the pull out couch and failing to find her, he turned around with the intention to wake John B so they could go and find her. As he turned, his gaze landed on the window that overlooked the backyard, and in the distance, he could see a figure sitting on the end of John B's dock.

His worried expression softened and he let out the lightest of sighs. He started walking towards the back door, but stopped and returned to the spare room to grab a hoodie—more specifically, the grey marina hoodie of his that Stella claimed was her favourite.

He exited the house, stopping to admire the view for a moment. The moonlight glistened off the water, reflecting back onto Stella. It was a serene sight and he was convinced that if it were a painting, it would have a place in the Louvre.

"Can't sleep?" He questioned, walking down the dock. His voice sounded louder in the dead of night.

Stella's gaze remained on the horizon and she shrugged. "Not really, no."

"Yeah, you had a long day," JJ comforted. When he was met with silence, he sat down next to her and gave her the sweater in his hands, earning a quiet 'thanks'. He could almost hear the gears turning in her head and when he looked over at her, he could see that her attempt to clear her head hadn't worked. "How are you doing?"

The corners of her lips quirked as his daily question reached her ears. "You already asked me that today."

He shrugged. "I'm asking again."

"I'm okay."

JJ knew her well enough to know that she'd never admit when she wasn't doing well. Golden meant great, good meant fine, and okay meant not okay at all.

He looked at her with a soft expression, eyes tracing her side profile as she stared out at the sea. "You don't have to be so strong all the time, Stel."

Like a rock to a window or a wrecking ball to a wall of brick, Stella could feel her defences shatter. In her childhood, she took it upon herself to act as her mother's rock, supporting her though a messy divorce even though she was only a child. As she got older, that habit persisted and she had grown so used to hiding her emotions for the sake of other people that being strong became second nature. No one ever questioned it—honestly, she never thought anyone noticed. But here JJ was, telling her that she was allowed to break down. That she didn't have to be strong for him. That she was allowed to feel.

"He wasn't always like that," she confessed, playing with the ends of her sleeves. She looked down at her lap as she reminisced. "He was actually a pretty good dad when I was younger. He'd take me out for ice cream and we'd play catch in the yard. He even built me a tree house."

A small smile came over her face until she remembered that her happy memories lived in the shadows of her bad ones. "The change was slow," she continued. "A rude comment here and there, jealousy, possessiveness, passive aggressiveness. It built up over time."

"He and my mom started fighting more and sometimes he'd get so mad that he'd just... hit her. He'd always feel bad about it afterwards and he knew I hated it when they fought so he'd try and make up for it with nice things and fancy dinners."

Stella hesitated in her next words. She had never spoken the following confession out loud before.

"And I know it sounds horrible," she acknowledged, "but I think it got to the point where I almost wanted them to fight just because I knew that the next few weeks would be good and peaceful."

There was no trace of judgement in JJ's stare and Stella continued.

"But then things got bad one night. My mom was working really long shifts at the hospital doing her residency and my dad didn't like that. And he'd been drinking so he wasn't the easiest to talk to.

"I remember I was hiding in my bedroom and then I started hearing things getting thrown around in the living room. I was worried so I went downstairs and right when I did, he punched my mom across the face.

"She fell and tried to get away, but he kept going after her. It was the most scared I've ever seen her, so I grabbed the closest thing I could and threw it at him. It was a beer bottle. It shattered against the wall 'cause I missed, but he got the message. He turned to me and he was so, so pissed. And then he just..."

She let out a shaky breath, unable to continue, but she didn't need to finish the sentence for JJ to understand what happened next.

"Before that night, the worst he had ever done to me was hurting me emotionally. That was the first time he ever laid a hand on me. The next day, my mom packed our shit in a bag and we left. We moved to the OBX, went through the whole divorce and custody battle—not that he ever stood a chance—and the rest is history."

The thought of someone hurting her—let alone the person who was supposed to protect her—made JJ shake his head in contempt. He knew what it was like to watch a parent spiral into the worst version of themselves and he hated that she knew even a sliver of it.

"Why didn't you mention it before?" He asked, wondering why she didn't tell him when they told each other everything. He thought since he had a similar experience that she'd be more inclined to share.

Stella shrugged, turning to him for the first time since he sat down. There were tracks of tears evident on her cheeks, causing him to lift a hand to wipe them away. "It happened years ago. Besides, you've got too much shit to deal with without my problems added onto it."

JJ's brows furrowed at the thought of her thinking she was a burden. In the moment, his feelings for her didn't matter, because while he loved her more than anyone else in the world, they were best friends first. And no amount of unrequited feelings were ever going to stop him from being there for a friend.

"Stella, you can tell me anything," he stated in full belief. "No matter what it is or how heavy you think it is, I'll always be there for you. You don't have to worry about me."

Stella gave him a meek smile and tilted her head. "I always worry about you, J."

Because if she didn't, who would?

JJ's eyes studied her. He couldn't understand how the universe could put someone so caring through something so horrible. He knew the lasting effects. He knew about the trembling hands and the nightmares that plagued your mind. He knew that no matter how long it was since the last hit, the trauma was still there. It lingered.

Stella was there for everyone. She helped Pope stay on top of his scholarship work, she accompanied Kie to every protest she went to, she made sure John B had food to eat and helped pay for some of his house bills, and she was always, always, always, there with a first aid kit and a comforting smile whenever JJ's dad snapped at him.

No matter what it was, you could always count on Stella. That's the kind of selfless person she was, and the fact that she was carrying this around with her without any assistance broke his heart.

Looking into her eyes, he promised himself that he'd be there for her from thereon out. To protect her from whatever life threw at her.

"I could say the same for you," he settled on saying.

Neither of them noticed how small the distance was between their faces and neither of them noticed the way their gaze flickered to each others lips or the way they started leaning in.

It wasn't until their lips almost touched that JJ pulled away.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't bring himself to kiss her. Stella was a stargirl with a heart of gold. One word from her and all of his fears could be silenced, but he knew that the instant his lips touched hers, his soul would be hers forever and that was a fate he wouldn't dare plague her with. She was simply too good for him. She was the sun and he was nothing but a speck of dust floating in the wind.

Stella merely stared at him. The words that she had said to Pope earlier that day echoed in her mind and she knew he was right to throw her own advice back in her face, because she could kiss JJ and get rejected or she could find out if he felt the same way. But she would never know if she didn't try, so with determination running through her veins, she decided that she was done being scared.

"Fuck it," she breathed. Her hands reached over and she cupped his cheeks, pulling him in.

It didn't feel like a first kiss because they knew each other too well for it to feel like that, nor did it feel like a last kiss because they had just begun. It felt like the first breath after drowning under water or like every part of them that came from a dead star was suddenly alive again. It was the kind of kiss that people spent their whole lives waiting for.

It felt right.

It felt safe.

It felt like coming home.

Before Stella had entered it, JJ had spent his whole life waiting. Waiting for a defining moment, waiting for a chance to be something more than what he was, waiting for something extraordinary to happen. But when he met Stella, she made him realize that extraordinary things don't happen to people by a random stroke of luck. People make extraordinary things happen. So when they broke away from each other, that's exactly what JJ did.

"I love you," he blurted out.

There was no other way to do it. He couldn't ease into it, he couldn't sugarcoat it or try to hint at it. He needed to say it as soon as possible so he wouldn't talk himself out of it, and now that he had said it, the words were out in the open, and it was too late to take it back.

Stella's eyes widened, not expecting such a grand confession. "What?"

Extraordinary things don't just happen to people, JJ reminded himself. And God knows Stella deserves way more than extraordinary.

He shook his head and stood up. "No, I need to say this before you tell me it was the heat of the moment or that you didn't mean to do it," he stated, continuing before she even had the chance to respond. "I love you. I'm in love with you."

Stella stood up and watched as he paced back and forth in front of her.

"I-It's like I get these butterflies 'n shit, you know, like in all those movies we watch? And I look at you and it's like... all the bullshit in my life is just gone and everything's okay because how could it not be when you're there?" He ran a hand through his hair. "And just— Fuck, Stella. It's everything about you. Your tangents, and weird ass opinions, and the rambling you think is embarrassing, and your research articles, and the way you can just look at me and know what I'm thinking. It's everything. You're everything. And it's scary and it freaks me the fuck out, but I can't stop thinking about you. I can't. I haven't stopped since the day you stole that juice box from me."

JJ stopped in his tracks and faced her. His jaw clenched when he saw her unreadable expression, but he couldn't stop. Even if he wasn't good enough for her, even if she rejected him after this, he needed her to know.

"And you're good," he continued. "You're so incredibly smart, and you're gonna go off and do these great, amazing things and I just— I'm me. And I don't deserve you. I know I don't. And I know it's not a good time to be telling you this because of your dad and the gold, but I tried to tell you before and I always got interrupted or I chickened out—"

"JJ," Stella breathed, the corners of her lips slowly pulling up as the boy in front of her rambled nervously.

"Like when we found the boat or when the groupers were shooting at us—"

"JJ."

"And I've known you since forever—"

"JJ, I love you."

"And I don't want to lose you because you're my best friend— Wait, what?"

He stopped himself when he realized what she had said and turned to her with a wide eyed stare.

Stella chuckled at his reaction and tilted her head to the side. "You don't know when to stop talking, do you?"

They stared in silence as the confessions sank in.

It was less than a second, maybe half a second, but it changed everything.

JJ shook his head, eyes locked on her lips, and his hand found the back of her neck. "Shut up," he told her as he pulled her in.

Unlike their first kiss, this one was deeper. It held more weight. They were crossing the line they danced on for months, possibly even years, and the best part was that they weren't scared anymore. The possibility of rejection was no longer daunting and they knew their hearts were safe.

They were safe because they were JJ and Stella, best friends turned lovers.

The kiss became needy as immeasurable amounts of pent up affection came to light and they stumbled back into the Chateau, careful not to wake their friends who were sleeping in the living room. The spare room became the closest thing to heaven as they fell back onto the mattress, hands roaming each other and clothes hitting the floor.

JJ nudged Stella's legs apart with his knees so he could rest comfortably between them and placed his elbows on either side of her head, his lips finding a home against the skin of her neck. He trailed sloppy kisses down her front, stopping at the waistband of her shorts.

He looked up and his breath hitched. The pale light that came through the windows casted a glow that illuminated the girl beneath him. If he thought he had seen something beautiful before, it didn't compare to her. She looked ethereal, like an angel on earth with a halo of moonlight around her head. She was the sun, breathing life into him with every passing second. She was everything.

The faint whisper of 'are you sure?' filled the room. There was a nod, followed by 'I've never been more sure in my life.'

The feel of their lips was intoxicating, leaving both teens in a breathless and dizzy haze. It felt like their bodies were on fire, veins alight with a fire only they could spark in each other.

And as they lost and found themselves between the sheets of a bed that wasn't officially theirs, they learned that the world could be falling apart, deadbeat dads could throw a punch or raise a hand, but they'd always have each other. And that was more than enough.

RAE SPEAKS !

stella going from seeing her dad to opening up about her childhood to her and jj confessing their love for each other all in the span of one day:

jj 🤝 sarah
telling their s/o to shut up before kissing them