¢нαρтєя 16
«ℓσηg тιмє ησ ѕєє, ℓιαя»
❦

present day
jungkook's death anniversary day
2017

(continuation of ch. 1)

...he lazily opened the door and looked around, but saw nobody... which was weird.
"hello?" he called out but there was no one. the street was completely empty.

right before closing the door, taehyung noticed a package on his door mat. after picking up the strangely light package, he brought it inside, deciding to open it in the kitchen.
he ripped open the cardboard packaging and dropped it to the floor in shock. his hands started shaking uncontrollably as he slid down to his knees and looked at the object closer. his eye sight wasn't betraying him - on his wooden floor really laid the knife he used to kill jungkook, covered in blood. the blood stains dried long ago, but it was still ridiculously obvious what the dark brown substance was.
taehyung picked up the knife and stared at it with tear-filled eyes.

where did this come from?
more importantly, who did it come from?

taehyung didn't know what to do with the knife. he sat on the floor, back touching the kitchen counter, arms wrapped around his bent legs. he was shaking, breathing heavily, eyeing the knife that laid on the floor next to the ripped open package.

was this some sick joke? who would want this? minseok?

taehyung reached for his phone in his back pocket but stopped. he wanted to ask minseok if this was his doing but the last thing taehyung wanted to hear was that idiot's voice.
taehyung was sure it was the exact same knife he used, he remembered it well, but how did it get here? maybe the malgeun pi gang wanted him to be scared, but then again, they gave out a peace contract and have been acting very nice to everyone, which wasn't even suspicious at this point.

maybe I'm still hallucinating?
taehyung reminded himself of all the times he saw jungkook after his death. it was impossible, right? so he must have been hallucinating. this all was probably also a hallucination.
taehyung closed his eyes and started taking in deep breaths, regaining his posture. the knife went into the trash can along with the package and taehyung went over to the bathroom, deciding to take a quick shower.
he looked at his grown hair and decided to give it a cut, trimming the ends with his scissors. by the time he finished blow drying it, he noticed the amount of missed calls from his boss.

"good evening." taehyung dialed him.

"vantee, what on earth are you doing? your shift started two hours ago!"
he heard the man's loud voice.

"two?" taehyung looked at the clock and gasped. "I completely lost track of time, I'll be there soon!"

before exiting his house, taehyung stared at the garbage can in the kitchen. he wanted to check if the knife was still there, to know if he was really hallucinating or not, but decided not to.

-

after entertaining the guests for the rest of the night, taehyung slowly walked back to his changing room. he was completely worn out and even considered staying the night here, sleeping on the couch.
he caught himself in the reflection of the mirror, noticing the bruise on his neck, given him by minseok a couple of days ago. the concealer got partly smudged, making it look like a hickey rather than a wound. taehyung's finger glided over it as he exhaled, letting his hand go through his soft locks.

"maybe I should retire." taehyung flopped onto his chair near the small table and prepped his head up with his hands, looking into the mirror.
"nobody was ever fond of this job... well, partly... but what if things change when yoongi signs the peace contract?"

"oh, they will."

taehyung froze after hearing a voice that was far too familiar. he was scared to look, but his head unwillingly turned to the sound of the voice.
taehyung's heart stopped at the sight of... jungkook.

"oh god..." taehyung closed his eyes and grabbed onto his head. "I'm hallucinating again... this is not real, this is not real-"

"did you like my present?" jungkook asked, his face expressionless.

taehyung opened his eyes and looked at the younger in pure shock. he was speechless and he was sure this was either a dream or a hallucination. there was no way jungkook was standing in front of him now. no way this was jungkook. this wasn't him. jungkook was dead.

"g-get out of my head." taehyung stuttered out, moving further away.

"taehyung." jungkook spoke up, his voice low. "you're not hallucinating. I'm here. I'm alive."

"no..." taehyung looked at jungkook in disbelief.
this was jungkook... this really was jungkook. he looked somewhat different. his red-colored hair ends, a tattoo peeking out of the shirt, piercings... he changed, but only on the outside. his voice was the same, his gaze was just like it used to be a year ago; he had eyes that sparkled, as if they held the entire galaxy in them.
this was jungkook. nobody looked at taehyung the way he did.

"you changed so much..." jungkook turned around, locking the door and placing the key into his pocket. taehyung sat still, not being able to move. "used to be so confident... especially when you stabbed me with that knife."

"jungkook..." his eyes filled up with tears from many things. he remembered of the day... exactly a year has passed since that day. tae remembered it all. he was so happy to see jungkook alive. he survived. but the guilt he felt was indescribable.
"please..."

"why?" jungkook questioned, getting closer to the elder with every step he took.
"huh?"

"what?

"for fucks sake." jungkook laughed bitterly and slammed his hand on the table, making taehyung jump. he looked into taehyung's eyes, seeing them overfill with tears which rolled down his cheeks, leaving wet traces.
"why did you do it?"

jungkook acted tough, but he was in pain. moreover, he was frustrated and mad. he waited a year and he wanted answers.

"jungkookie..." taehyung sobbed. "I was forced, I swear! I love you!"

"I don't." jungkook spat. "not anymore."
his hand traced the elder's jaw, stopping at the chin, raising it up. he looked with his pain-filled eyes into taehyung's, that were equally as pained.
"never in my life have I wanted to kill you..." jungkook's hand traveled to taehyung's neck, gripping onto it. "I want you to feel the same way I did when you stabbed me."

"j-jungkook..." he barely breathed.

"the love and trust I had for you?" jungkook let go of taehyung's throat, leaving him gasping for air. "they left. and i left along with them. I'm not the same anymore. you're not the only one who changed."

"jungkook please listen to me." his voice raspy as he slightly held onto his neck. it hurt twice as much because of the bruise he had.

"listen to you?" he laughed. "why should I when you didn't even bother to do so earlier?"

"what?"

"when you caught me with minseok... you didn't listen to me." jungkook said. "you didn't even try."

"I know." taehyung whispered. "now I know who minseok truly is. I'm sorry... jungkook I'm so sorry! forgive me, please, forgive me!"

"you know how I feel?" jungkook leaned in, looking into taehyung's eyes. "torn and shattered on the inside. the feeling of emptiness and pain is killing me. and you can't even say the truth after all this time."

"I am!" taehyung cried. "I swear, I was forced to kill you! but you're alive, I'm so happy, jungkook-"

taehyung stood up, his hands flying to jungkook's shoulders. he wanted to hug him, embrace him in his arms and breathe in his smell, feel his soft hair against his cheek, feel the beating of his heart.
jungkook pushed him back, making taehyung fall onto his chair.

"why did they force you?" jungkook spoke quietly. "did you not want me to find out that you were the one who killed my sister?"

taehyung stayed silent.
so he knew... explains why he was twice as mad...

"honestly, taehyung, if you were to admit it the day I confessed, I would've forgiven you. we didn't know each other back then." jungkook explained. "but no. you lied. you kept it and let it grow into something this big."

"sorry..." was the only thing that left taehyung's mouth. "I am so fucking sorry."

"the old jungkook may have forgiven you." jungkook walked to the door, unlocking it. "but not me."

as soon as jungkook closed the door, taehyung fell onto his knees, letting himself cry. he felt his whole body shake, replaying the events that just happened in his head.
jungkook stood quietly near the door, tears silently rolling down his cheeks as he listened to taehyung's heartbreaking cries.

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