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G    A    M    E         O    F
S    U     R     V     I     V     A     L

· 。ﾟ

*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*

𝐢 𝐚𝐦 𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠
𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝
𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞
𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝

*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*

 
chapter thirteen
my best friend is gone

.·:*¨༺ ★ ༻¨*:·.

FRYPAN WIPED A TEAR from rolling down his face. He breathed in walking in silence with the rest of the voiceless gladers. No one had spoken a word after Rosie and Newt's harsh argument. Nobody really knew what to say without feeling awkward.

The sun was setting and the group needed to find shelter soon. Rosie felt emotionless. She went completely silent after the argument and didn't speak to anyone. Her thoughts were running around making her feel worse about herself. She felt hopeless. The people she loved were dying left and right.

       At times she wondered if this was worth it. The whole journey of looking for a safe haven. Did it really exist? Would she truly ever find peace? How many more deaths will it cost her to find peace?

     Frypan took a quiet breath feeling his emotions starting to override him. The boy forced himself to stop tearing up. He could feel himself losing hope. Frypan grieved the plans and dreams he once had with his best friend.

They dreamt of owning a little restaurant. It was nothing fancy but rather cozy and comforting. Frypan would bake and cook the food while Winston greeted the customers and made sure all the meat was cut and prepped. Jimmy would be playing an instrument in the corner while also waiting on tables. Ander would make the desserts and pass them around outside the shop to those who couldn't afford it.

But it would never happen. How could it? If, Frypan was the only one left standing. The boy wanted no part in the dream if his friends were no longer a part of it.

Jimmy was dead.

Ander was dead

Winston was dead.

"You alright?" Newt's voice brought Frypan back from his thoughts. Newt's hand reached Frypan's shoulder squeezing it for a second to reassure him that everything was going to be fine.

Frypan glanced at his friend shaking his head and shrugging his hand off him, "don't touch me, man."

Rosie wasn't the only one carrying resentment towards Newt. Frypan didn't want to feel the way he did, but he was angry. Angry that Newt let Winston take his own life without much thought. Frypan understood where Newt came from but that was his best friend. His favorite person. The boy couldn't see life without his partner in crime. He was losing hope quicker than any of his other friends.

Minho and Newt still had one another.

Thomas still had Teresa.

Rosie still had Jess.

The boy wasn't as close to Minho and Newt like he was with Winston. They could never compare to the friendship he had with the slicer. The thought of giving up wasn't such a bad idea anymore to Frypan. He didn't want to suffer anymore.

Newt pulled his hand away feeling worse about his own actions. The boy caught Rosie looking over at him before she looked away in a millisecond. She didn't want to interact with him either. She didn't want anything to do with him.

"I think we should stop here." Thomas spoke up as they had reached an overturned ship.

       Everyone mumbled in agreement as they dropped their belongings on the ground. All of them found a comfortable spot to sit on. Jess signaled to Rosie as the girl laid her head on Jessie's lap. Rosie let out a sigh of relief as she let her body relax.

A few of the boys grabbed wood placing it in the middle. Mara walked towards the middle using her lighter to light the wood on fire. This hoping to keep the gladers warm for the night.

Newt took a glimpse of Thomas wondering what was going through his mind. The boy felt his breath get caught in his throat once Thomas landed his eyes on him. A soft smile lifted on Thomas' lips noticing Newt was looking at him. The two boys maintained eye-contact that lasted just a little longer than it should have. Newt could feel his heart thumping rapidly as he looked away fearing the tingles that wondered in his body.

Rosie watched the entire thing go down between the two boys. Her heart ached as she felt she was losing everything she had left. Jessie noticed it too but stayed silent continuing to run her fingers through Rosie's hair to keep her calm. There were no words she could say to Rosie to truly sooth her. Jessie just knew that Rosie needed to grieve. Not just for Winston but for all of the friends she left behind alive and dead.

Minho fumbled with Rosie's knife he had grabbed back at the abandoned shopping mall. His attention was focused on the name that was carved in. It was the second time he was putting more attention to it. There was something about the person's name that bothered him. The boy assumed the name Jeremy was much more than just a friend of hers.

Minho cut the silence as he asked a question to everyone in the group. "I thought we were suppose to be immune."

"Not all of us," Teresa spoke softly before adding an, "I guess."

"If Winston could get infected, we should assume so can the rest of us." Newt stated taking a glance towards Rosie who had sat up to rotate with Jess who laid her head on Rosie's lap this time.

Minho watched the curly headed girl from afar fluttering her eyes closed. She was beautiful. The boy had never seen such beauty until he met her. To him, Jessie looked like an angel. He'd come across other girls but no one could compare to her. She was just so effortlessly beautiful.

"I never thought I'd say it." Frypan sniffled as a tear rolled down his cheek, "I miss the glade."

      "I wonder if Gally is still alive." Rosie blurted out twirling a piece of Jessie's hair in her finger. The gladers turned to look at her in shock as no one had brought up his name since the incident. "I miss him."

       Thomas scratched the back of his head as he hated Gally's guts and hearing Rosie talk about him so lightly irked him. "He was a bully. He's dead, Rosie." Thomas replied quickly regretting his words when Rosie looked up at him.

The need to defend her friend erupted in Rosie's body as she spoke in his defense, "he was trying to keep us safe."

"Where you not there all the times he treated me like shit?" Thomas raised his voice at the girl who tilted her head to her right.

"Do you mean all the times you broke the rules? Those times?" Rosie snapped back.

Thomas could feel his anger taking over as he used his finger to point, "those rules I broke got us here."

"Got us where?!" Rosie yelled in desperation pointing around the desert, "nowhere! We're nowhere, Thomas! We left that shithole with dozens of boys and look around asshole! There's only six of us left!"

Before the boy could respond, Mara interrupted taking the conversation another way trying to calm them both. "Is that his bracelet you're wearing?" Mara asked taking a glimpse of the bracelet tied on Rosie's wrist.

       The girl took a breath nodding looking down at her wrist. Gally's name was on the brown bracelet he had made himself. Drops of dried blood had stained part of it but Rosie never took it off. Thomas shook his head pushing his head down into his arms.

        "Yeah," Rosie replied, "it's the last thing I have of him."

        "Why do you have his?" Aris questioned fiddling with the bat he had. "Shouldn't you have a bracelet with your name on it?"

       The girl cleared her throat nodding, "I tied mine on his wrist before I was forced to leave him."

     "Oh." Aris muttered.

"Let's all just try to sleep and get some rest." Frypan spoke up as he didn't want the group to be split into two. He already felt the group was being divided into two.

"Hey," a whisper on Newt's left side grabbed his attention. The boy turned his head to see Teresa's head turned towards him, "I don't blame you for what happened with Winston."

Newt knew Teresa was trying to comfort him in her own ways but unfortunately it wasn't working. He didn't want her validation. He wanted Rosie's. "Thanks Teresa but it doesn't justify what I did—"

"You did the right thing." Teresa explained, "I would have done the same if I was you. It takes a very strong person to do something like that."

Rosie had been laying on the ground with her eyes shut pretending to sleep. But the girl could hear the whole conversation even when they tried to speak quietly. Anger and sadness consumed her again but all she did was cover her face letting her tears roll down her face.

Samadhi sat up aware of Rosie's state a few bodies away from her. The girl got up glaring at the pair across the bonfire who had stopped talking when they noticed Samadhi walking over to Rosie.

"Hey," Samadhi whispered sitting down next to Rosie who uncovered her face as a little smile showed up on Sam's lips. "I'm here. You can talk to me if you want or not talk to me, but I'm here for you."

Rosie tried to form a sentence but nothing was coming out. The girl's lip had begun to slightly tremble as she started to take short intakes of breaths. Water had begun to collect at the bottom lids of her eyes and Rosie pressed her palms over them to stop herself. Before she knew it, Rosie was letting out tears in the comfort of Samadhi's arms.

"You're allowed to cry, Rosie." Samadhi spoke quietly as her hands rubbed her shoulder and ran through her hair. "It's a lot to take in, hon. You were going to break eventually."

Newt watched from a far as Samadhi comforted Rosie in her arms. The boy had blocked out Teresa who had continued to talk to him. He continued to feel guilty and wished he could take it back. Newt didn't think of the damage it would have created for Rosie.

      A nudge grabbed Newt's attention, this time being Minho who shook his head, "don't worry about it, slinthead. She'll come around again. She always does."

       Newt shook his head playing with the fire in front of him with a stick he had found. "No. This time's different, Minho. You should have seen the way she looked at me." Newt expressed glancing once again towards Rosie who had started to drift off to sleep blocking out the noises. "She looked at me with pure hatred. Her eyes were full of anger and it looked like she wanted to murder me." 

      "Doesn't she always look like that?" Minho let out a light chuckle trying to lighten up the mood with a joke which did not help. Newt threw a glare at him as he quickly apologized, "sorry."

         "I gave Winston the gun, Minho." Newt stated staring intently at the fire, "I let him kill himself and I didn't think about how Rosie would feel."

       Minho clicked his tongue before responding, "the boy was suffering, Newt. You did what you thought was right at the moment. No one blames you—" Minho stopped to correct himself, "the majority doesn't blame you. I understand that they were blood but it was bound to happen."

      The British boy shrugged his shoulders not knowing if what Minho said was really true. All he knew was that the girl he cared about was devastated and angry at him. "I don't know." Newt mumbled.

       "She's going to come around. Don't beat yourself up for it." Minho nudged him again, "she's your girl and you're all she wants." 

       Newt didn't respond rather just laid down as he thought about her. Would she really come back to him? Was he truly all she wanted? Was she all Newt truly wanted? Maybe that was the real question the boy was avoiding in his own head.

≪ °❈° ≫

EVERYONE was fast asleep when Rosie sat up noticing the fire was almost gone. The girl stood up dusting away any dirt on her pants before grabbing wood from the overturned ship. She quietly placed them inside the fire trying to not wake anyone up as the fire became brighter and warmer.

Her eyes skimmed around everyone landing on Newt. Things had changed between them. Rosie didn't see him like she used to. It took her a lot to overcome it but she understood where Newt was coming from. As much as she hated him for his actions, someone was going to do it sooner or later.

Rosie packed her stuff not thinking much about what she was going to do. The girl slipped her backpack on her shoulders taking a good look at the sleeping gladers before deciding to head off in the darkness. They'd be better off without her. She wasn't bringing anything to the group besides grief and pain.

The girl looked over at her arm not understanding what was going on with her infection. Last time she had checked it, the infection was spreading and now it had stopped again. The serum, Kai, gave Rosie wasn't to cure it. It was to stop it from growing more.

The girl really missed her friends. There was nothing she could do to bring them back. She was never going to see them again. She wondered what happened to her brother inside the glade. Did he make it out? Or did he end up just like the others, dead?

Rosie hated herself when she could feel a tear roll down her face. She had lost count how many times she's cried for the past few days. She continued to blame herself for their deaths. Especially when it came to four specific boys.

She swore to Jimmy that she was going to protect him and nothing was going to happen to him. Rosie lost him during the Griever attack and didn't know he was killed until after. When it came to Chuck, Rosie had the instinct to cover him but her fear stopped her.

Ander's death took a big toll on her. If Rosie wasn't struggling to get up then maybe Ander would be with them now. If she wasn't so selfish, Ander would be alive right now. His wide eyes when the blade passed through his chest continue to haunt her every time she blinked.

Oh, and Gally. There's times where she'd look down to her hands and see his blood on her hands. She regretted it all. Maybe she thought too much about it but at times she wondered what would have been if she picked Gally instead of Newt. Rosie brought her hands up to her head shaking her head. She didn't even know if Gally ever felt that way about her. And there was no possibility of ever knowing anymore.

Newt adjusted himself fluttering his eyes open for a few seconds before realizing Rosie was missing within the group. The boy quickly sat up seeing her backpack was gone as well. The boy kicked his feet up jogging around the ship to see if she was around.

She left.

Rosie left.

"Hey!" Newt raised his voice, "guys! Wake up!" The boy kicked the shoes of his friends waking them up. "Rosie's gone."

"What?" The majority asked in slurs as they look around for her. "For how long?"

The three girls looked at one another getting up to help find her. Samadhi rubbed her eyes before sitting back down yawning. The two other girls raise their eyebrows in confusion before realizing Samadhi already knew where she was.

It was an empty desert. Newt had put his backpack on already walking ahead in search for Rosie. It didn't take really long for him to find her. She was sat just a few yards away in the darkness contemplating if to really leave them or not.

"He found her." Samadhi announced to the rest who stopped their actions. Everyone dropped their bags before sitting back down annoyed about their loss of sleep.

"Rosie, you alright?" Newt asked softly.

He stood behind her a few feet away giving her enough space. Rosie turned her head to see the worried look on his face before turning back around. "I don't know." She replied in a very low tone.

"Do you want me to call one of the girls?" He asked not really knowing what to do to help her.

The girl shook her head continuing to stare at the dark abyss. Rosie let out a hiccup as they stood there in silence. "I don't know if it's worth it anymore, Newt."

The boy raised his eyebrow in confusion as he asked, "what's not worth it anymore?"

"Living." Rosie stated rubbing her arms to make her feel more smaller. "I can't find the reason to keep going."

"Rosie—" Newt started before stopping himself trying to figure out what to say, "there's always a reason."

       Shaking her head, she looked over at him, "what reason? Because I can't think of anything."

       Newt sat down next to her trying to give her a reason, "you gotta keep going because if you don't, then what was the point of everyone else sacrificing themselves? You have to live for them."

        "Then live for me." Rosie mumbled looking over at him again. Her left hand reached his and Rosie intertwined her fingers with his. "Because I can't keep going. Not anymore."

Newt could feel his heart breaking as he watched Rosie lose hope faster than anyone he's ever seen. "You're stronger than that, Rosie. I know you and I know you can keep going." She started to shake her head again before Newt added, "then do it for me."

Rosie stopped shaking her head because as much anger she had for the boy, she'd do anything for him. There was a soft spot for Newt and she didn't know why. It was as if she knew him before the maze. But there were no memories she had of him before the maze.

"Okay."

"Okay." Newt pressed his lips on the top of her head before offering his hand to her as he stood up on his two feet. "Come on, let's go back with the rest."

≪ °❈° ≫

MINHO tilted his head to the side as he watched Newt and Rosie laying next to each other fast asleep. Mara walked up to the boy as she watched the pair sleep as well. "Guess they've made up." Minho declared out loud glancing at Mara.

The girl shrugged her shoulders as she clicked her tongue, "I guess."

The boy picked up on the annoyance in her voice and the eye roll she made discretely. "C'mon slackers, get up! We gotta keep moving!" Minho announced clapping his hands together to wake the rest up.

Mara kicked Rosie's shoe immediately getting a response as Rosie sits up looking around to see who kicked her shoe. "Get up. We're leaving."

Rosie nodded yawning as she grabbed her backpack and stood on her two feet. Newt sat up rubbing his eyes as he noticed everyone was grabbing their stuff. The boy stood up grabbing his belongings before watching what was soon to unfold.

      Jessie took a deep breath taking a glance around to see if anyone was watching her. Her hands were shaking and she couldn't get a steady grip on her backpack. She had no more water left and she didn't want to be selfish and ask Samadhi for some of hers.

      Before anyone knew it, Jessie fell to the ground too weak to stand up on her own. "Jessie!" Rosie rushed to her side as Mara already stood on the other. Both trying to pick her up and struggling as Jessie couldn't put any effort.

       Samadhi opened her canteen forcing the curly headed girl to drink the water she still had available. "Come on, I need you to drink, Jessica." Samadhi demanded opening her mouth as she poured water in.

       Jessie swallowed the bit of water as she started to shake her head. "I can't do this." She muttered.

       Mara nodded replying to her to reassure her, "yes you can. We're here to help, hon. C'mon, we got you."

       "No, Mara." Jessie struggled to speak, "I'm too tired." The two girls struggled to carry Jess who had no strength in her to support herself.

"Maybe we should leave her." She whispered to Thomas. The words rang in the other girl's ears. Their eyes turning cold once they landed on Teresa.

      "Why would you say that?" Thomas questioned the girl as he shook his head.

Samadhi scoffed grabbing an object that was covered in the back of her pants. The sound of a lock unlocking grabbed everyone's attention. "Maybe we should leave you instead."

Anger had risen in the girl's body raising the only gun the group carried. None of the boys knew she carried it. The gun pointed directly to the blue-eyed girl. "Woah!" The guys exclaimed intervening between them. "Samadhi put it down!"

The girl looked up not moving her hands from the aim, "get out of the way before i shoot all of you too."

"Lower the gun—"

"Don't get so cocky, Thomas. You're next." Samadhi threatened, "Rosie, tell me and I'll do it. I'll put a bullet through her fucking head."

The boys turned their heads to Rosie who was on the left side holding Jessie up. All of them wide eyed waiting for Rosie to stop her psycho friend. She truly wanted her to pull it and she hated it. How can someone want to take away someone else's life?

Newt was finally able to reach her attention, his face gave it all away. Who was she? Who was the girl standing in front of them who hadn't said anything to stop it? Who? Because it wasn't the girl he fell in love with.

       The girl he loved wouldn't do such a thing.

       Would she?