Chapter 56 [Bathroom Madness]

slight nsfw warning that will lead into the next chapter, which will also be nsfw ๐Ÿคฏ (i promised my readers there would be another nsfw chapter, where scaramouche is the top instead of the bottom)

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More time passed, and your body was healing.

Ei

"You're sure you're feeling okay?"

You

"I'm just fine."

Ei

"Alright. Have a safe trip back home."

You

"Thank you, Ei."

Ei

"..."

"You're welcome, Y/N."

You

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"I'll visit you sometime."

Ei smiled.

You decided it was time to let go of your animosity toward Ei. Though Scaramouche is still unable to trust her fully, this is reasonable.

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Scaramouche

"Fucking finally! I've been dying to get out of that hell hole forever!"

Ei was willing to lend you a boat large enough to carry all six of you, and you had just left Inazuma City.

Childe

"Oh, come on now... The beds were comfy."

Scaramouche

"No, they weren't."

You

"Remind me again why you guys brought Childe along? Where's he supposed to sleep?"

Shinobu

"He's funny."

Itto

"And not completely bad."

"He can sleep in my bed!"

You

"Itto, you take up the whole bed. Childe, do you want to be on the edge of the bed every night?"

...

"Oh! He can sleep on the couch."

Scaramouche

"Don't you think he's a little too tall for the couch?"

You

"No, he should fit."

Childe

"Are you sure you want me to join you guys?..."

You

"No. I've been very unsure, but everyone seems to like you, they want you around, and I care about their happiness, so I'm bringing you along."

Itto

"Yay!"

Childe

"Oh... Okay."

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-A FEW MOMENTS LATER, HOME-

Childe

"You have..."

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.

"A pet snake?!"

You

"Yes. I do."

Childe

"It's so cute!"

You

"I know."

"Look, it likes you."

Childe

"Really? How do you know?"

You

"Because it's getting ready to bite you."

Childe

"... Is it venomous?"

You

"Very."

Childe

"Uh... Is it a normal thing for your pet snake to bite people he likes?"

You

"Yes. He bit Scaramouche tons of times."

Childe

"Well that won't do anything to him, he isn't human!"

You

"Oh well."

You shrugged your shoulders.

Then, you started to laugh.

You

"I'm just playing around with you, haha! It won't bite you unless I tell it to."

Childe

"... Oh!... Phew."

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You

"... I know we were gone for long, but I wouldn't have guessed that my home would look like... Whatever this is."

Scaramouche

"All of us were too depressed and occupied to clean, okay?"

You

"Okay..."

You noticed things in your house, observing all the dirty dishes in the sink, flies investigating a slouched brown bag of old groceries, and immense quantities of dust everywhere.ย 

Unknown stains on your couch and rugs, and you couldn't even describe how filthy the bathroom was.

You

"Oh, man... This is just the same as that fatui jail cell!"

Kazuha

"... It's that bad?"

You

"Yes! Did you guys sleep in my bed?"

Kazuha

"No, we-"

You

"-And did you at least feed my pet snake?... I hope you did, because it looks well enough and healthy to me..."

Childe

"So you don't... Keep this thing in a cage?"

You

"No, it goes wherever it pleases."

You said, as your pet snake was slithering around Childe's shoulders.

Shinobu

"Itto fed the snake."

"... At least he told us he did?..."

Itto

"I did!"

You

"What did you feed it?!"

Itto

"Bugs! Lots and lots of bugs, except for onikabuto!"

You

"Oh."

"Well, that's one thing you can do right Itto."

"Next time, if I somehow get kidnapped again-"

Scaramouche

"Which you most definitely won't because we'll be cautious if anything comes after us,"

You

"... Right. As I was saying, you should definitely feed my pet snake onikabuto. That's its favourite."

Itto

*Gasp* "Not the onikabuto!"

You

*Sigh* "You guys aren't depressed and unmotivated anymore, right?"

Kazuha

"I don't think so?..."

Shinobu

"No."

Scaramouche

"..."

Itto

"Not at all!"

Childe

"Please, please! Get the snake off me!"

You

"No. Deal with it, pussy."

"Okay, then let's get cleaning."

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You and Scaramouche decided to start by cleaning your bedroom and bathroom.

You

"I don't even know where to start..."

"Did someone's asshole explode in my bathroom?!"

Scaramouche

"No. At least I don't think so?"

"Anyways, if we were to suspect anybody, I'd like to put the blame on Itto."

You

"That's a very fair point."

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"What?"

You asked, your attention locked on Scaramouche. He was looking at you without saying anything.

You

"Scaramouche?"

"Hellooo?"

"Scara?"

You began to wave your hand in front of his face.

Scaramouche

"..."

"Oh! Hi!"

You

"Hi? Are you okay?"

Scaramouche

"Uh..."

You

"Is something wrong?"

"Are you not feeling well?"

"I know the smell of chemicals from the cleaning supplies can be sickening sometimes, but-"

Scaramouche

"Nope! I'm fine!... Toootally fine."

You

"Are you sure? You're getting really sweaty. And red."

Scaramouche

"I am? I don't- Haha, I don't know what you're talking about!"

He awkwardly smiled, turning away and crouching down to wipe the floor.

You

"... If you say so."

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"Can you help me out with the mirror first though?"

Scaramouche

"Yes! Of course!"

He said, frantically.

You

"Oh, I see..."

Scaramouche

"... What?"

"What do you mean?"

You had a sneaky grin on your face as you moved closer to his body, leaning on it.

You

"This is what it's about, isn't it?"

Scaramouche

"Wh..."

Scaramouche backed into the wall beside the sink and mirror, with your body pressing against him. You quickly gazed down towards his lower area, then up at his face.

Scaramouche

"..."

"No, I'm not!"

You

"You're not what?"

Scaramouche

"You know what I'm talking about!"

You

"You missed me so much, huh?"

Scaramouche snatched the edge of his oversized shirt and concealed an incredibly suspicious lump in his pants.

Scaramouche

"Can you stop?! You're embarrassing me!"

You

"If you say so!"

You shrugged your shoulders and continued to wipe the mirror spotless.

Scaramouche

"Oh please, don't act like that... I can see what you're trying to do."

You

"What? Clean the mirror?"

Scaramouche

"No!..."

You

"Then what?"

Scaramouche

"..."

You

"Come on, say it."

Scaramouche

"Forget it!"

You

"Hehe..."

Scaramouche's continuous gaze could be felt as he stared at you back and forth from time to time.

You

"Scaramouche,"

Scaramouche

"Yes?"

You

"You're so adorable."

You said randomly while pulling at his cheeks.

Scaramouche

"Stop that!"

He said, his words warbled as you continued to pull them.

You

"But you're so cute!"

Scaramouche

"You're acting weird! What did Ei do to you?!"

You

"Nothing, nothing at all. I just think that you're adorable."

Scaramouche

"Well, I'm not. Obviously. But I do appreciate it if you meant for it to be a compliment."

You

"... Alright then."

"I'll leave the rest of the bathroom to you then? I'll start helping out with the living room?"

Scaramouche

"Well... I guess?"

You

"Okay."

You collected your cleaning materials and started to leave the bathroom.

It was then you felt a hand on your waist that turned you around, making you suddenly drop your bucket of water on the ground. You enjoyed teasing Scaramouche and forcing him to reveal what he desired.ย 

He placed his lips on yours and put both hands on the sides of your face.

You

"Sooo eager."

Scaramouche

"Quit teasing me already. You're not funny."

You

"Yeah? Then why're you smiling like that?"

Scaramouche

"Hey, smiling and laughing is different."

You

"Yet they're so similar."

Scaramouche

"..."

"Sorry."

"About the bucket-"

You

"No, no, don't worry about it. It'll give me a reason to stay in the bathroom..."

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