.

.

.

You

"You assholes!"

You swung your arms and leapt on the bed, wreaking havoc. 

Kazuha

"Oof!"

You

"Wake up! Out of my bed!"

Shinobu

"Who- Y/N?!"

You

"I'm back, people!"

"And so is Scaramouche!"

Scaramouche

"That's one way to surprise them."

Scaramouche stood outside the door, watching you throw pillows at Shinobu and Kazuha.

Kazuha

"Y/N- Y/N!"

He shouted and covered his face with his palms.

You

"Yeah, I'm sooo happy to see you too, but just because I'm gone doesn't mean you get to sleep in my bed!"

Shinobu

"Stop throwing a fit over it - It's better than the sofa anyway!"

Itto

"Yay! Look who's back!"

Itto was charging at Scaramouche with his arms spread wide.

yk what else is spread wide?

HIS LEGS! 🤤 ARATAKI'S ITTO'S LEGS ARE SPREAD WIDE FOR ME AND FOR ME ONLY!!!!!!!

i'm finished

continue reading pretty please

You

"Woah, woah, Itto, no!"

"Stop!"

You yelled, dropping the pillows and sprinting over to Scaramouche. Itto came to a halt and raised his arms in the air as if going to be arrested.

Itto

"What?!"

"What did I do?!"

You

"Just take it easy on Scaramouche, okay?"

Itto

"... But why?"

"I've picked him up and crushed him in a hug before."

Scaramouche

"I still hate you for that."

You

"Everyone's missed out on quite a lot, there's a lot to explain."

.

.

.

"There's a literal hole in Scaramouche's stomach."

Kazuha

"... Whaaat?..."

"I'm not on weed right now... So is what I'm hearing the truth?"

You

"Yes, it is the truth."

Scaramouche

"Y/N, if you tell them there's a hole in my stomach, they won't believe it. You can quit being so dramatic and just tell them I got stabbed."

Itto

"He got stabbed?!"

Shinobu

"Ah... It was expected, honestly."

"I told you going there was a stupid idea, Scaramouche. We all told you."

Scaramouche

"Yeah, well look! We both came back together."

Kazuha

"Getting stabbed was a bit over the top... Not worth it, in my opinion."

Scaramouche

"Oh, come on."

Itto

"So - Tell us everything that happened! We thought you both were dead!"

You

"Man, I'm too tired to explain."

"Ah... Long story short, Scaramouche gets stabbed, Ei feels bad because she finds out who N/N is and still doesn't give a shit about her own son, so she takes us in and feeds us, provides us with clothes, all that shit."

"And just a while ago, the Fatui are for some reason alive, attacking every portion of Inazuma City to find us. It was a risky but perfect time to escape."

Kazuha

"They're alive?"

Scaramouche

"Unfortunately."

 "Did you guys hide at the far side of the island like I told you to?"

Itto

"Yeah."

"..."

"Nothing happened."

You

"Hm. If I were someone else, not Y/N, you guys would probably be as good as dead by now."

"The fact that she only cared for Scaramouche because of my revealing identity pisses me off."

"But!... It could partially be considered a good thing too. You guys back here were safe, Ei didn't keep her word. No troops ended up attacking you guys, right?"

Kazuha

"Nope."

You

"That's good to hear."

Scaramouche

"Enough about us, what have you guys been up to for the last 3 weeks without us?"

Kazuha

"Literally nothing."

You

"... Nothing?"

Shinobu

"Itto said he wanted to go out there to find you."

"And I told him no."

You

"Pfft- What, so you could enjoy sleeping in my bed?"

You teased.

Shinobu

"No- Obviously not! For the record, it was Kazuha's idea, and I agreed."

Kazuha

"Get back on topic."

You

"I know, I know, I was just teasing you."

Shinobu

"Obviously, it wasn't safe to go out there. Knowing you, you would've told us to stay put anyway."

You

"Well, good thing that you actually used your brain."

You gave Itto a solid side-eye.

Kazuha

"So... Are we gonna quit being criminals?"

You

"Who said anything about quitting?"

Kazuha

"... Nobody, but it's just that with Inazuma City in shambles right now, where else are we supposed to get our goods? Are you planning to move us to somewhere like... Liyue? Mondstadt?"

You

"I... Don't know about that."

"I'll figure something out for us, okay?"

.

.

.

Scaramouche

"Can't sleep?"

After a couple more hours, it was far past midnight. You were sitting on the ground with your back to the wall, just along the main corridor of your house.

 You

"What are you doing awake?"

Scaramouche

"..."

"I couldn't sleep either."

"I noticed you weren't in bed anymore."

You

"I'm just thinking about some things."

Scaramouche

"Hm."

You

"Wow, you managed to walk here from my room all by yourself? Now that's a real accomplishment."

Scaramouche

"Heh."

Scaramouche sat down on the floor with you, using the wall as support.

You

"Scaramouche, go back to bed. Your body needs rest to heal."

Scaramouche

"Man, I've rested a bunch at Ei's house. I've had enough of that stuff."

You shrugged your shoulders.

You

"If you say so."

Scaramouche began to shift his posture, whimpering softly at the slight pains in his stomach when he moved.

🤤

You

"... Oh?"

He put both hands on your shoulders and threw one leg over you, striving to get into the ideal position.

His hands moved from your shoulders to both sides of your face, tenderly caressing it with his thumbs.

As expected, you watched him tilt his head and he pressed his lips firmly against yours, barely giving you any time to breathe.

You

"Woah..."

"Scaramouche, calm down. You know we can't when you're in this condition."

Scaramouche

"What do you mean?"

He acted clueless, though he knew exactly what he was doing.

You

"Oh please, you know what I mean."

Scaramouche

"Pfft, what? Are you horny?!"

You

"No, you're the horny one!"

Scaramouche

"You're!-"

You

"Who's the one who started making out with me, huh?"

Scaramouche

"Hey- That does not count as making out!..."

"... It was just a very passionate kiss."

You

"So in other words, you were making out with me."

Scaramouche

"Hmph."

You

"And you knooow what happened last time we were making out!"

You said, in a sing-song tone.

Scaramouche

"Okay- Well, I'm not dumb. I know better not to get fucked with a huge gushing wound in my stomach."

You

"At least you know your stuff."

Scaramouche peered into your eyes for just a quick moment and then went right back into it.

*BANG*

Scaramouche drew away as soon as the loud bang was heard.

.

.

.

Dottore

"What the fuck?!"

Tartaglia

"Hey look, he's got Stockholm's disease! Haha!"

Dottore, Tartaglia, and Pantalone were standing just in front of your front door, which had been torn down and damaged. And there you were, sitting on the hard, cold floor.

Right in front of them.