The white lights seemed to blind me as I made my way to my car. The doors of the hospital slammed loudly behind me as if yelling for me to leave. The cold December air hit my lungs, a white cloud escaping my mouth as I ran my fingers over the hood of my Black Truck. I reached the Driver side and put my forehead onto the window leaving an oval shape on it. As I pulled myself into the car I felt more tears falling down my rosy cheeks. The drive home was hard, everytime I stopped moving my mind was flooded with thoughts of Lilah. I was almost home, I knew, but my old habits resurfaced. I turned the truck around sharply receiving an annoyed honk from the car behind me. I would usually flip then off but I was too distracted.

I could hear the loud music and yelling before I even reached the run down bar. I felt at home as I parked in the rocky lot. I snatched my wallet out of the dashboard and waited inside my car as a drunk man stumbled next to my car before proceeding to throw up. I snarled at him with a disgusted grimace before stepping out of my car.

The cold wind blowing against my body seemed to be telling me to leave, not to give in to my old habits. I shoved through it not giving a second thought to what would happen to me. It was trying to keep me away for good reason as everytime I had came here I got in a fight, got arrested, passed out, or almost drank myself to death. I shrugged, I just needed something to get my mind off of Lilah.
"Lilah," I thought, "Evrrytime one of those things happened she always got me out of those situations." "She won't  be here for me this time." I said sourly. I stepped into the bar, the bell on the door ringing like an old friend welcoming me into their house. The loud yelling, laughing and the stale scent of alcohol filled the air. I smiled and walked to the counter. I sat in my usual place, a wobbly, spinning, barstool.

"Long time no see." A friendly yet gruff voice said.

I smiled before turning to Jim, the bar tender who always seemed to be there for me in a way.

"I know," I said with a sad chuckle. "I'll have my usual off the the rocks." I add.

He gives me a small wink, "As you wish," He paused before giving me a playful jab on the arm, "ma'dam."

I laughed and rolled my eyes as he turned around whistling. He never kept me waiting long and he didn't this time either. He came out seconds later with a bottle of Fireball whiskey, a shot glass, and a 24oz cup of beer. All of them clinked on the counter, begging to be used. My fingers began drumming on the cold metal counter, I couldn't hold back, my hand went to snatch the bottle of whiskey. However Jim was used to my rash behavior and lifted the bottle before I could grab it.

"I thought you said you were done binge drinking because of Lilah, why are you doing this?" He asked lifting a brow.

"Lilah doesn't care anyways." I practically snarled.

"What do you mean, spill the tea and you can pour the Whiskey." He said swinging the bottle through the air.

I sighed running my fingers through my hair and put my head on the table.

"Ok, fine." I said dryly.

He set the bottle down and jumped over the counter to sit on the stool next to me, his face in his hands waiting eagerly for the story.