(I don't know how long this is going to go on for but I'm guessing 35-45 chapters? Also I like the song so yea)

After about an hour I looked like a super girly person, my long black hair was curled and I had some intense makeup on. Alex was smiling and wouldn't stop staring at me while we cleaned. Everything was going pretty well until I felt it.

A buzz on my butt pocket, I sucked in a breath and opened the notification it was what I thought. Lilah.

Lilah: Today? At 4? At the park you know which one.
8:10

I almost didn't want to answer but I forced myself to.

V:ok
8:10
I looked up at Alex who was dusting a bookshelf that I'm pretty sure hadn't been dusted in years.

"4." I say bluntly.

Alex turns around and raises a brow, "4?"

"I'm talking to Lilah at 4." I said quietly.

Alex nodded understandingly and held out her hand, I took it she led me outside to the front porch.

"I know that it's going to seem impossible to talk to her after what happened but you really need to try and I mean put all of your grudges aside and let your emotions out, I'm not saying yell however a little crying is ok." Alex explained after we sat down.

I nodded no having much to say.
She put her arm around my shoulder and we sat there just like that for a couple of minutes.

Alex's phone buzzed, she reluctantly pulled it out, "Alright, I have to go work is calling." She sighed and gave me a small hug. "Make sure you tell me how it goes and I'll be here if you need me."

I said bye to her and went back inside. I was never one to get nervous easily, in fact I liked to think I was easy going and that things didn't bother me. However if you saw me now you'd think otherwise. I sat with my back pressed against the front door and my palms resting on my eyes for at least ten minutes before getting up and doing some stuff around the house, sweeping more, mopping, laundry, and even cleaning the bathroom.

While I was in the bathroom I looked at myself in the mirror, the makeup I was wearing covered up my bags pretty well and for once I looked...like a girl? It was weird and made me a little uncomfortable since I was usually more casual.

I turned the sink on and gently began rubbing the makeup off, watching the colorful eyeshadow wash down the drain. I looked up again and felt a wave of relief wash over me. I saw me, not some weird girly version of me, just me.

I grinned and then walked out.

>time skip< 3:45

The park I needed to be at was only 10 minutes away but I was panicking, thinking I was going to be late. I hopped into my truck and went a little bit over the speed limit to get to the park. It was bitterly cold, small flakes of snow could be seen falling down. There were few kids out running around throwing snowballs at one another and then there was Lilah. Standing under the pavilion where we met.

I felt my heart start to race. I want ready for this what was I thinking. I ran my hand through my hair as I turned around to walk back to my truck.

"Fuck it." I whispered aggressively before turning and running towards the small pavilion.

Lilah's head slowly turned in my direction as she heard me clambering towards her. She didn't smile but I could see her face relax, her shoulders slouching ever so slightly.

I reached the small opening gasping for breath as it came out in puffs in front of me. I sat down on the bench inside and looked at Lilah. She wasn't making eye contact instead looking out the large window with her arms wrapped around her small torso.

"I didn't think you'd come." She whispered gently.

It caught me by surprise. I bolted to my feet, "Why?" I asked carefully as I regained my composure.

She turned and looked at me, the winter breeze blowing her short lilac hair over her eyes, "I figured you would be too mad to come."

"Mad? The only thing I was mad about was that you weren't willing to talk to me." I said as gently as possible.

She brought her eyes to mine and brushed the hair out of her face. "I didn't mean any of what I said." She responded.

"I doubt that Lilah, you had too much to say for that it to not be how you feel don't even try to deny it." I retorted suddenly getting angry.

"I mean honestly I wasn't lying towards the end there I was feeling very alone and just left behind and I didn't know how to tell you without offending you you don't know how that feels V you don't." She said louder.

I shoved my hands into my hoodie pockets and looked at her. "Sure but I still could've helped instead of you offing yourself, how was that supposed to solve anything?!" I practically yelled.

She looked startled and I regretted my words.

"Listen, I was there for you, always and yet you chose to leave me because you weren't willing to get help and I know that you're upset but if you get help it will get better." I said back in a normal tone.

Lilah was crying, and quite frankly I was watering up.

"I got myself into a bit of trouble." Lilah muttered.

I patted the bench beside me, "what happened?"

She sat down next to me, "I knew a guy, well kind've and after I left I didn't know what to do so I went to him and h-he uhm kind've drugged me, I'm not sure what else happened." She explained.

I felt bad but a part of me wanted to laugh at her, and tell her "Karmas a bitch." But I didn't. Instead I sat there in silence next to her and listened to her sniffle.

"I-i know we aren't back together or anything but could I maybe come back to the house? So I can avoid him?" She pleaded.

I reluctantly nodded, "On one condition, you start seeing s a nutritionist and a therapist or psychologist."

She sat there weighing her options like she was weighing herself, she looked in pain almost, "Fine that works." She said quickly.

I gently grabbed her hand and led her to my truck before letting go and driving us back to the house. She could stay but we were definitely not done talking because I was still hurt and angry.