I sat ready to spring up and hug Lilah when she came through the door to apologize, however it wasn't her, it was Alex. To say I was devastated would be an understatement, I was torn, Alex's eyes drifted to my small figure to my phone and back to me with a concerned look on her face. I find it hard to understand what a "concerned look" is but when you see it you know, a slight pucker in the brow, lips turned into a strange cross between a frown and an empathetic smirk. She wore it so well, the way her eyes got large as she processed what had happened complimented her black hair that was hanging loosely around her face. She slowly crouched down until her face was level with mine as if I was an abused animal ready to snap at any sign of aggression. I couldn't blame her, I had told her I was fine and yet here I am huddled in a corner with bloodshot eyes. 

Pathetic

Alex kept her distance but put a comforting hand on my shoulder, I flinched at the touch but she kept her hand in its place firmly. 

"What happened?" she asked quietly.

I tried to find my voice but couldn't bring myself to say what had happened, maybe if I kept my mouth sealed it wouldn't be real, just a figment of my imagination. I sighed and looked at her trying to keep a straight face as I pointed to my phone. She didn't hesitate to get up and grab the phone, when she came back with the small cracked device in her hand I unlocked it and opened the messages that Lilah had sent me and handed the phone back to her.

I tried to read Alex's facial expression as she read through the texts I had been sent. Her face was set in stone, her lips drawn in a straight line like something out of a cartoon. She briskly turned to me and forced me to look into her eyes, "Bullshit."

"what?" I whispered.

She repeated herself, "Bullshit, everything that she has said to you is BS."

I closed my eyes trying to keep myself under control. I couldn't believe her, no matter how hard I tried it all sounded like blatant flattery, white lies you would tell a child to keep them frorm throwing a fit. 

"Alex, I want to be alone." I whispered.

"No." 

"Yes, I don't want your company I know you're only here because you feel bad for me so you can take your empathetic stares somewhere else." I snapped waving my finger in the air eventually jabbing her in the chest.

Alex stared at me with her mouth in a small "o". I got a little bit of satisfaction knowing  I had shocked her, I didn't mean what I had said but I needed to be reckless and stupid on my own; she hadn't moved yet, I wondered if I had somehow "paralyzed her in shock" I scoffed to myself at the sarcastic thought. When she didn't move again I felt irritated and stood up towering over her.

"Leave." I said simply.

She shook her head once more and stood firm as if to tell me she wasn't going anywhere. I groaned, I could practically feel the anger rising through my body, from the pit of my stomach straight to my head, before I could register what I was doing I felt a sharp pain in my knuckles, a loud thud followed. I shook my head letting my hair whip around until my eyes refocused and landed on Alex clutching the side of her face. My eyes widened and I was immediately by her side, she shoved me away harshly.

"You really don't want me here do you?" she mumbled looking at her knees.

"No, I need time for myself for know...sorry for punching you that wasn't something I meant to do." I lied.

"It's fine," she paused. "I am coming back tomorrow if you punch me again I won't hesitate to slap you." she said icily.

I nodded slightly and watched as she walked out the door, after it shut I heard a muffled sob and felt guilt creeping up in the back of my mind.

Good going, she cared and you punched her

 I stood up and walked to the kitchen, it was going to be a long night.