"Ammi, I cannot keep up with this charade. Who is the best of all? Also, can you stop bringing up the marriage.", Aariz complains.

"Not like I was discussing yours.", his mom defends herself, "Besides she is a girl. She needs to get married earlier."

"She is becoming a doctor. She must be busy. Besides she can get married whenever she wants. Why do we have to worry about her? Nuha is not married either.", as soon as he brings up Nuha Mrs. Hafeez sits up from a relaxed position.

"We are trying, okay.", she gets up and leaves.

He sighs sinking in the softness of the sofa. Mr. Hafeez stares down at him, "What Dad? It's embarrassing!"

Is it embarrassing?

(Aariz's POV:) Are the lines blurring? The lines of hate into the lines of hostility.

Aariz gets himself off the sofa knowing it was futile to try convincing them. He is greeted by Nuha's body slamming against the door eavesdropping on the conversation.

"So she told you?" She hisses as she slowly closes the door.

Ushering himself to the bed he asks, "About what?"

"My marriage? What else is on her head these days?!" She plops onto the bed.

"She says she is trying." He tries to defend his ammi.

"Trying". Her scoff makes him roll his eyes.

"Why? Do you not want to get married?!"

"I said yes to finding me a match. A match that I myself approve". Slamming her hand across her chest she sinks into her bed and curls into a cat.

The jabs of the two rejections in two months are still fresh in her mind. Her clothing is too modern. She is too shy and too quiet to adjust to the business-minded family. Does she work?! But our women don't.

"Not like they are forcing something on you" Aariz's eyes follow her movement.

"A manager. 30 year old ass. Doesn't want me to work. Or complete my education" She sits up "Are you shitting me?!"

Aariz realizes how colorful Nuha's language has become around Selena and Amelia. He bites his laugher and furrows his eyes after recovering from the effects of profanity.

"No way". His eyes widen. "You're joking."

"I rejected. If a man talks shit I owe him nothing."

"Why didn't you tell me? You could've dropped a message."

"You? A message? You who didn't talk straight face to ammi back when you were in Denmark, would have helped me. Spare me the manly act". Nuha rolls herself into her duvet and flicks the side lamp close.

These words hit him like a shotgun shot in the heart. He freezes in the moment unable to escape his sister's words. Has he been so distant?

"Then why don't you tell them you don't to get married?" In the darkness, Aariz reaches for his duvet.

"Because I want to fall in love. Have someone who looks after me and cares for me. Respects what I do and what I want" She pauses as she imagines herself working on fashion design sketches while a hand feeds her food.

"I want to have children we both look after and finally grow old to sit together at evening teas watching the sun melt into the sky" Although she doesn't want to imagine her face all wrinkled up from the smiles and frowns of life she still can imagine a warm cup of tea in her hand while other hand warmed up by the heart of the hand of her lover. 

"I want to live a happy life, Aariz. Not just a life. The life" she flicks the lamp open to see he is looking in her direction, "And apparently man has it easy than woman."

She flicks the light close again. The duvet's soft noise fills the room and they both snuggle in their beds to sleep.

She keeps tossing and turning. Recalling where she went wrong she chews her lower lip. Everyone wears T-shirts and trousers. She bets their sons don't even earn enough to afford their own expenses and yet they want a housemaid material wife. As the hours tick away. The lights on the streets dull down. The pacing cars slow down. The bustling crowd goes home. But she remains awake just like the moon outside her window. In the middle of the night, a single buzzing notification makes her jump up.

Muzamil_Hassan requested to follow you.

The Instagram notification brightens her eyes.

Hey. He messages.

She leaves him on seen and goes to check out his profile. The black and white aesthetic side profile glorifies his clean shaved jawline.

Aariz's alarm wakes up the entire house at 6 in the morning. After fajir, when everyone is about to crash back into the bed Aariz comes up with the idea of having breakfast at the beach. Nuha dismisses it with a wave of her hand but Mr. Hafeez reasons him out of it, promising to take him to Expo 2020 the same day.

Around 9 when everyone sits for breakfast because all had slept in taking a break from the regular weekday Mr. Hafeez breaks the news that he has already been in contact with Mr. Asad and they will leave for the expo around 2 pm.

"Doesn't Selena have uni?", Nuha asks scraping the chair.

"Who cares! Good riddance. One thing less to focus on.", he mumbles before chugging water directly from the glass jug sitting in a mirror golden tray his ammo had taken out yesterday for the party.

"Focus?", Nuha arches an eyebrow at him, jabbing her elbow in his ribs.

Focus? Why would his brain choose such a word? He questions himself. Her words have lived rent-less in his mind. It will be a good relief if he gets a break from her stabbing sword tongue.

"Wh- not in that way!", he hisses, "She is the queen of cutthroats."

"You mean she keeps you on your toes. Please, we all know you secretly love it.", Aariz gags on his food and shoots his eyes in Nuha's direction.

"Give me one reason to love her!"

(Aariz POV:) A reason to love?! Nothing is charming about a woman whose eye bags are heavier than my luggage. The woman who maintains a good upfront of being innocent but mumbles curses under her breath. 

The chewing of the bread intensifies to such an extent that he ends up biting his cheek. The jerking in pain draws his parents' attention toward him. He winces with his hands explaining to them he is fine.

The steam rising from a hot cup of tea near Aariz's hand draws his attention toward it. His arched eyebrows question his mom. He cannot dare start his day with an amount of nicotine more than that given by the patch. She sighs slowly sliding it away from him.

Selena's hands are too busy writing down notes on leukemia. Her eyes shift constantly from the doctor to the board. The ears are all focused. No time to glance at her silent phone screen. Her papa's image pops up when he calls. It rings for a good 30 seconds.

Her eyes are trying to remember all the histological slides specific for leukemia, and lymphomas. With no RBCs - lymphoma. With RBCs in the slide leukemia. Smudge cells - chronic lymphocytic leukemia / small lymphocytic lymphoma. Starry night appearance - Burkitt lymphoma. Flame cells - multiple myeloma. It's surprising how the histological slides look the way they have been described by pathologists. With the push of a little bit of imagination, one can see all the smudges, stars, and flames.

After pathology, she gets up to stretch her strained ass and walks to block D to pee typing new topics to learn on her mental to-do list. She fancies the bathroom there more than the ones in L block. She realizes the comprehensive quiz is due next Monday and she needs to put her ass into it to pass it. 6 days left.

"Yeah, I have to prepare the speech. I haven't done it yet. You're coming to the event right?", Yelin's voice echoes outside the stall.

She could have easily forgotten about the career event the university is arranging on Thursday. Selena and Yelin would be representing Dubai Medical College at various schools. The aim of the event is supposed to awaken the students to the fact that the performance at school matters more than the name of the school.

The flushing of water and clicking of the locked door startles Yelin, "Jeez, gurl! You scared me."

"Not like you were doing some shady business here.", Selena stares at her disoriented hijab while washing her hand furiously with the hot pink rose-dented hand wash.

"Oh, I was. I was thinking of killing you. You would make a very nice cadaver in our anatomy lab. Perfectly sleeping in those refrigerators."

"Yeah, the only way I can make people cry.", Selena laughs, recalling the nightmare of burning eyes as she worked on the cadavers to identify brachial plexus last year.

"So, Tara called. She is representing the University of Sharjah.", she jumps around snapping her fingers, "This is EXALANT.", she mimics her microbiology doctor's accent, "Finally you will meet my cousin. You're gonna love her."

"She is exalant.", Selena smiles while fixing her hijab.

"Your shoelace..." Yelin points at Selena's untied shoelace.

Selena pulls her leg up swinging the shoelace. She stomps her four back to the white marble floor making her lace whip the floor, "Oh, I don't fall!" She glimpses Yelin's reflection in the mirror before moving out of the bathroom.

"We'll see about that," Yelin almost steps on her shoelace but Selena bolts around with an arched eyebrow knowing what her best friend was trying to do.

"I'll be going to the library and preparing my speech and get some shit done. You coming?" Selena's hand wrap around Yelins's arm.

Yelin grimaces, "No, I can't. My house isn't near the metro. Taxis are expensive too."

They walk to block A where they have to present the case objectives they have been working on. Selena's hands jitter with her fingertips ice-cold. Rubbing her hands together she shoves them into her white coat pockets only taking them out for presentation to explain the normal formation of cholesterol in the liver and how statins competitively inhibit it. The hands slip back into the pockets as she reads put aloud a few side effects of statins from the slide.

The facilitator looks up from her laptop screen in Selena's direction at the end of her part. Selena's sweat-clamped hands are curled into fists in her pockets. She smiles at the facilitator.

"Girls, there is still room for improvement in your presentations," Selena plastered a smile and nodded knowing she is right, "Next time try to explain it better. Draw. Recreate. Not just read. Anyone can read off the slide. Try to know what you are talking about."

The girls nod exchanging glances.

"Also try to study the research papers," Selena almost facepalms herself remembering how she had forgotten about putting the screenshots of research papers from PubMed, "Selena, there are research papers available about garlic and fish oil," Selena wants to speak but the doctor looks away towards other girls, "Girls, can you open PubMed and search about uses of garlic in Hyperlipidemia?"

Amidst the fingers typing against the laptop keys searching their way to the right website Selena steals a glance at her facilitator. She should speak up.

"Doct-"

"Doctor, I found this article," Yelin excitedly raises her hand staring at the scream as she reads the topic of the study.

Selena's jaw tightens when she recognizes the name of the study. It is the same research she had studied last night. As Yelin reads the conclusion and the facilitator nods appreciating Yelin's efforts, Selena stands near the smart board with a few girls staring at her as she acknowledges how this appreciation could have been hers if she hadn't forgotten to add the screenshots.

The uncomfortable smile is almost faltering. She is crumbling. How can she forget this important part of her presentation? Why is it never enough? Why do they demand so much more from a medical student than from any other student? They ain't heroes. They ain't Gods. They are humans.

Around three in the noon's late spring sun that once was vomiting fire was back to being hidden behind the curtains of clouds. Selena sits on the bus and shuts her eyes close as she notices her bus mates making their way to the bus. She is too exhausted to talk about the day. As she closes her eyes the words dance in front of her.

Her younger self smiles at her as she sprints into the park chasing Amelia and Saad. She jumps a boulder and slows down to breathe. Her cousin who no longer lives in Dubai places his hand on her.

"TAG!", she winces looking at him.

"I am tired!", she screams as he makes his run. There was only one thing on her mind those days. She must defeat him at any cost. But she couldn't and it took her some time to accept the truth that there are always people better than her. And he is one of them. She never caught him that day but at the end of the day, they both knew the best and second-best make a good team.

Broken promises and single-line messages were burdens so hefty
The constant reminders of mockery and insanity.

However, whenever Aariz was around she was instantly out of the list. The third best. And soon she officially called it quits leaving the boys to themselves.

The races, the huffing, the winds of December, and the harshness of summer. She has loved parks in all seasons. In the seasons when even the sun ripped the parks away from their beauty - summer. She could have continued loving it. She could. Had certain events not happened? The events she made sure to lock away behind the doors of the past. The events still bang on those doors screaming to let out. Or maybe it's the time they are let out.

With her head against the vibrating window of the bus, she wonders how time changes. She and her cousin went from playing together to just occasional banter on Instagram. The distances etched by circumstances landed them far away. And then there is Yelin and her cousin, Tara.

Or maybe I didn't hear you in your silence so ghastly.
And now you remain a mystery that concerns no veracity

The bus drops her off at the library. She walks into the mosque where she washes her face. The cold calming water slows her thoughts down as she makes wudu to pray asr. She finally glances at her phone and gasps with frozen hands. 10 missed calls.

She calls Amelia with trembling hands as she walks out of the mosque.

"Bishhhhhh! Where you?!", Amelia screams in her ears. She winces moving her mobile away from her ears.

"At the library. Why?", she whispers.

"We are going to the expo.", she whines, "I don't wanna be left alone with Nuha and Aariz. Save my burning ass. You know how he tries to make small chats with me. I. HATE. IT."

"Omgaaaddd!", She gasps, "See I can't come but if you want I can ask you to ditch them and come with me."

"I cannot! Bitch. Traitor. This is how you pay me for all the family tea I poured right into your cup."

"and spilled it on the saucer?", Selena recalls Saad, the blabbermouth exposing them for knowing way too much, "Stay with mom 'cause you both will need each other today to dodge the words thrown at you. Now if I can get back to work."

"By the way, I have tea."

"wha-", before she can comprehend what she said, Amelia cuts the call, "BISH.", she mumbles staring at her mobile's black screen as she enters the library.

---

So is it just me who is obsessed with Purple Hyacinth?

If a man talks shit, I owe him nothing.
- Taylor Swift

Also like I love Kym.

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