(Selena's POV) Or maybe hate is fire. A single spark that burns the whole house down to ashes.

As the families sit down on the carpeted floor for food the awkward silence hangs over them like a dark cloud ready to burst into thunder. The plastic spoons against the Styrofoam plates aren't helping either. Selena takes a spoonful of white sauce spaghetti when Mrs. Hafeez brings to deck the cards. The cards Selena doesn't want to play.

"So Selena your results- they came?" She pushes a spoonful of biryani into her mouth.

"uh- no...". She stares at her mom to help who nods.

"The exams are modules-wise". Her mom comments

"I see. Next year, Aariz's exams will also be module-wise. But this year it is semester-wise. So he got his results. Lemme ask him the exact GPA".

"I see, Masha Allah". Her mom replies.

"Aariz. What was the GPA?" She asks. The food in Selena's mouth loses its taste. She tries her best to control her trembling hands by putting her plate down on the floor. Amelia places a hand in hers.

"Huh? 4. 98%". Aariz can feel the sweat oozing in his palm as Ammi continues to discuss his academic life so casually. Maybe Selena is so much better. No. Maybe she is not just better. She is the best. With all the unexpectedly high percentages she has achieved in Pakistani Board. The trophies sitting on her bookshelves. She can easily be the best at the university too. And if she is her father will not hesitate to bring up her academic life. But if she is not he won't bring her academic life up.

"Masha Allah". Everyone says in unison. Selena stares at her plate blankly as she tries her best to swallow her food. Her dad looks in her direction but she looks away knowing she has stopped calculating the total percentage ever since entering medical college.

The stickers of Masha Allah on WhatsApp, whenever she shares the screenshot of her marks uploaded on Brightspace, speed up her heart rate. Extra systole? Her hand fights the urge to fly to her chest when she suddenly feels a change of rhythm. Her parents are happy with her marks. She knows that. But somewhere deep down, in her heart, she still feels guilty for not scoring the highest. For not being the best and the finest of all the smart students in her batch.

(Aariz's POV) There she is!

Aariz's scanning eyes detect no change in Selena's pose. Neither did she sit up chin high shooting daggers in his direction nor did she jeer. Not bringing it up. Now that he knows he is officially the best. He straightens up and stares down at Selena who looks rather pale. All her flushing anger from the bedroom has drained out of her.

When she picks up her plate gaining her composure her eyes meet Aariz's. "Seems like you really don't have a brain. I'm FINALLY better than you". He arches his eyebrows at her.

"For the record, I wasn't the one who was kicked out of the school because of the unspoken scandal". Picking up her plate she swiftly heads out of the room for the kitchen to dispose of it in the garbage before shutting herself behind the bathroom door. The heat of her fist slams the cold white marble wall. 

While in the lounge Aariz twitches as he is reminded of his past; he wants to live past it. The corpse of the past that he buried is being dug again. Although she only muttered those words under her breath yet they reverberate in his head. The ringing of mockery makes him scan the people looking for any evidence of scowl or satire in their eyes. But there is not.

"Selena, wait. Come back. Eat something else too. I made this spaghetti, especially for you". Mrs. Hafeez cries after Selena shuts herself in the bathroom. 

It would have been so much better to stay at home and summarize the PubMed research and study statins from Amboss.

"She is full. She comes late. Had lunch late. So she is full.", Aariz hears her mom defend Selena while Amelia gives him a death stare that becomes uncomfortably awkward to avoid.

Fed up with his mother singing his praise he searches for excuses to leave the room. The plates in front of the men are rather empty with tissue paper balls in them. So getting up from dinner won't land him in trouble. He picks up an almost empty curry bowl and exits the room.

Amelia is on her way to the kitchen with a pile of disposable plates to the kitchen that is daring to topple over. Aariz stops her by randomly starting a conversation that she is obliged to continue because of the other family members around who are overhearing it.

"Amelia, how're your studies going?" Amelia looks into his eyes with anger, surprised to find a genuine smile on his face. Her heartbeat accelerates every time anyone asks her this question. Why can't they stop preying upon her life? She remembers the checked exam papers Anjala, the maths teacher, handed them today.

She could have danced her way out of the school beaming with pride, excited to proudly present her papa with her A grade. She could have if she hadn't received chemistry grades after that. C. Ishfaq seeing her smile falter with every passing minute at school had decided to cheer her up by talking about cats but it didn't seem to work.

A lump in her makes it hard to speak, "Fine, I guess". she looks away trying to find an escape from the conversation. She should tell Selena. She has to get rid of this burden weighing her down.

"You'll pass. I know. You can do it". Aariz bites his tongue as he finishes the sentence. His hot throbbing cheeks and ears make him embarrassed noticing Amelia distracted by Saad whispering in her ears. 

"Yeah unlike you couldn't".

(Aariz's POV) What the hell am I doing? This ain't gonna work. Befriending enemies or allies? Nope. Not going to work.

(Selena's POV) Hate ought to be the fire.

It almost burnt her down to ashes. The absolute zero coldness of his heart clashed with her blazing fury erupting.

It is almost 1 am when they reach home. Saad stumbles his way to the washroom whereas Amelia drops dead on the sofa. Her dad sits in the corner of the room near the mobile charger scrolling a mile on Facebook waiting for Selena to bring his "cholesterol medication".

And when Selena brings him the medication she could have excitedly narrated the entire mechanism of action of statins that she had chosen for the case's objective if she had stayed back at the library. But she didn't. So she silently watches him gulp his tablet down his throat with a glass of water and his eyes fixed on his mobile screen.

Her dad is one of those millennials who have learned the art of using WhatsApp stickers. When Hafeez sends him the pictures of the party he thanks him in a Desi way which to everyone is crickets chirping awkward - formal English. And on top of that send a sticker of a panda. At least it's not those cringe roses. Or 'shukriya' written in eyesore font and color.

By 2 am when the lights finally switch off in both the households and everyone closes their eyes but Aariz and Selena.

Aariz stares at the ceiling lying on the same bed she had been sitting on. The eerie silence breaks once in a while by Nuha's snores.

Selena's blue-cut glasses reflect the blue rays of the laptop screen in the darkness. Her finger pacing back and forth and the keyboard copy-pasting text from Amboss on the group's google presentation.

Regret. It is the only thing she has right now for everything that will unfold tomorrow. The consequence of saying yes to a party she wasn't comfortable attending. For now, she must remember that the statins are HMG Co-A reductase enzyme inhibitors. Thus preventing HMG Co A from being converted into mevalonic acid. It, therefore, reduces the formation of cholesterol in the body.

"Bish. Sleep," Amelia pulls her blanket over her body and turns around to face her sister. Selena's creased face and hunched back and pushed back strands of small hair from her braid makes Amelia sigh, "Do whatever you want."

After dumping the information on the slides her brain starts shutting down even before her laptop could. So she shuts her laptop down and lays her head on the mattress hugging her pillow.

"Anyone awake?" Selena whispers rubbing her strained eyes.

"Yeah..." Amelia's sleepy voice stops her from rubbing her eyes.

"You wanna discuss?" Selena excitingly turns to Amelia.

"Can we talk about how rude Mrs. Hafeez was to you?" Although they both can't see each other in the blinding darkness of the room yet Selena knows Amelia is enthusiastic about sharing their parts of juicy family gossip.

"Yeah! Literally!" After a short pause, Selena sighs. "So how's life?"

The question they both ask each other means more than its superficial meaning. If it's a day before the exam, it symbolizes how's the morale of the exam. If it pops up while they are washing dishes it means gimme the tea. But right now they both weren't sure what it symbolizes.

"A shit bag". Amelia remarks silently. "Man, I got C on Chem."

"Oh-" The last semester exam results flash before Selena's eyes. The dinner table lectures over how nonserious Amelia is about her future. The others carefully chewed their Rotis while Amelia stared down at her plate contemplating taking a bite or answering the question that rained down upon her.

Stillness hangs between them with Amelia's blanket soaking her tears. Both acknowledge the impending doom on the dining table. Selena should say something. She should do something. Selena's hand searches for Amelia's. She has tried a million times. No words have ever calmed Amelia. The sweaty palm meets her moisturized soft hand. It's not her who needs to change.

"I wanna be reincarnated into a cat". Selena mumbles but Amelia doesn't respond. The quiet snores replace her sniffing.

(Selena's POV) What if I fail? Will they all be the same to me as they are to Amelia?  The way they acted around me today. I have to do something. I have to work harder to claim back my position.

She can't stop thinking about the upcoming exam. She needs to study. She has to. She must. The thoughts make her feet jerk. The physiology of the heart is fine but anatomy - it's long but she can do it.

.

A puff of tobacco smoke flashes in front of Aariz's eyes. He can still feel the suffocating sweet strawberry flavor. The echoing laughter of boys fills his ears. A hand protruding in his direction with a vape.

.

Pharmacology, God no. The drugs for angina. She feels her hands sweating. The drugs for heart failure. She rubs her hand on her arm, having goosebumps from the thoughts.

.

He squeezes his eyes shut. But behind the curtain of eyes, he could still feel the pushed-away memories creeping in. Positive vibes only. Positive vibes only. He sings the mantra under his breath but the memories are resurfacing. The exam dates. The blank pages. The people's stabbing words.

.

The drugs for anemia. The excessive salivation makes her sit up. She tries hard to push it into the Esophagus but all in vain. The four classes of antiarrhythmic drugs. She heaves and presses her hand against her chest rubbing her sternum. As she feels bile surging into her pharynx she jumps into her feet and rushes to the bathroom. Her abdominal muscles cramp making her drop to her feet in front of the bowl.

.

"Unspoken scandal".

.

"Better than you".

.

"Unspoken scandal".

.

"Better than you".

.

"Unspoken scandal".

.

"Better than you".

.

"Unspoken scandal".

.

"Better than you".

.

"Unspoken scandal".
Someone should stop Selena ringing in his ears. Aariz removes his blanket feeling breathless but it doesn't help. The only thing it does is intensify the cold.

"Better than you".
BLEGH! Selena's parents' room flings open and her dad stands behind her rubbing her back.

She comes out of the bathroom sobbing. Her shaking hands take a glass of water from her worried mom's hands. The strong comforting hands of her papa hold her still till she stops shaking. She finally looks into his eyes, "We need to talk."

Aariz gets out of bed to increase the temperature of the room. Hearing the door keys click his spiked curiosity makes him see who it was. In the lounge he finds his parents snuggled on the sofa watching television in the darkness.

"Aariz". Mr. Hafeez smiles as he and his wife move away making a place for him. They wrap their hands around him and he smiles uncomfortably. His dad rubs his hand on Aariz's arm, "Removed the patch for sleep?"

He nods. "Yeah, sometimes the dream is too vivid- It scares me sometimes."

(Aariz's POV) The debate of hate being a fire or ice can go on for decades and centuries to come but one thing is a fact - hate injuries. Mostly the hater. 

He stares silently at the screen playing some 90s Indian movie. Knowing his parents aren't interested in the movie anymore, he takes his chance. "Can we talk?"

"I can't keep up with this fight".

(Selena's POV) In the coliseum of the world, the haters and the hated till one cries the tears of blood while the audience cheers adding the fuel to fire. The question is who is the hater? Me or him?

"Am I not good enough? Why can you not stop sharing my marks with others? We don't have to announce it to the world". she cries.

Her mom stares at her dad giving a look that he understands - a look that translates into 'Told you!'. She turns Selena around and wipes her tears off her face with her nightgown sleeves.

"Selena, we are proud of you".

"Then tell me! Not the world". Her hand flies in a circle.

"We are just scared about Amelia. She goes to the same school as Aariz". Her papa defends his stance.

"See that's the problem. You do not even realize when you are comparing your daughter to others. WE. NEED. TO. STOP.", she argues before slumping into the sofa.

"She is right, Asad.", her mom sits on the sofa holding Selena's quivering hands.

"I want to tell the world that I am proud of my daughters.", he raises his voice trying to suppress the annoyance.

"I need to hear this more than the world, papa!", she storms out of the room in anger and closes the room door shut softly with tears still running down her face.

---

SO IS NO ONE GONNA TALK ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT AND HER GRADUATION!?

💜THE PURPLE💜

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