By maghrib, Selena reaches home. She rings the bell but no one answers. Putting her ears against the wooden door she tries to eavesdrop on what is going on inside. When she hears Allah Hu Akbar she realizes they must be praying congregation prayers, Saad and his Quran teacher. So she digs through her bag's front pocket for the key but the door abruptly flings open. Selena trips into the apartment almost crashing into the marble floor. Amelia mouths, "Bish! Calm down!"

Selena sanitizes her hand after removing her shoes and moves into her room where Amelia has laid down a prayer mat for herself. After removing her coat and hijab she peeks into her mom's room to find her in sujood. She quietly closes the door and slips into the bathroom to get fresh.

After the quick shower, Selena enters back into her room to comb her hair. Amelia who has been doing mechanics past papers for her upcoming A levels mock exam turns her chair around.

"BISH! Omgaaad! Tea!", her eyes light up as she slams her black pen into her notebook.

"Tea? Omgaaad me too!", Selena puts her comb back into the drawer and slams the wardrobe door close, "You go first!"

"Okay... So...", Amelia smiles as she leans forward, "Salah messages. And-"

"Did he confess?", Selena jumps to a conclusion.

"BISH, what!", Amelia throws the tissue box in Selena's direction and she dodges it, "Nawwrrrrr! Ewww! His one friend had a crush on this girl who is now dating his other friend."

Selena's eyes raised in surprise, "Okay, what?"

"Yeah. And now he is divided, whom to side with.", Amelia adds.

"Okay but like the girl has the right to choose who to date.", Selena rubs her chin.

"She is turning him against his friends."

"Okay, not EXALANT."

"exactly. Not exalant. Also!", Amelia claps her hands with her eyes sparkling with excitement, "I am taking my polaroid camera tomorrow. Gotta click some pictures and sell them to my potential customers." she stands up to stretch her body while Selena smirks, "now tell me your tea. Is it related to Mr. Doctor?"

"STAWWWP! But like he is participating in tomorrow's event too.", Selena reveals that drops open Amelia's mouth.

"So you are saying that I'll be listening to his blabber tomorrow?!"

"Hey don't call it to blabber.", she defends, "It's good to know the two sides of the story. We know how your school portrays him. How people just ran over him for his mistake."

"Okay, you got a good point! Cute...", Amelia amused by her sister's monologue, pulls her cheek, "You like him?"

Selena who is now back to combing her hair stops and stares at her reflection in the mirror. Does she? Oh no. She does. When did this happen? This shouldn't have happened.

"It doesn't matter, does it? If the feelings are not reciprocated-", she pauses, "Anyways, how's the day?", she tries to change the topic and Amelia lets it slide.

Amelia knows Selena has a point. And to accept that you love takes courage because unsaid love is nothing but slow death. To love the openness and vastness of the skies is to become obsessed with that person. And not everyone wants to be a part of that addictive game. To what extent would you give till you realize it was all in vain? To what extent will you give for others to realize your pain? To what extent?

At 7 pm when the Quran teacher leaves Amelia and Selena put food out for the family. Saad searches for the drama series to catch up on, Sang E Mah.

Her dad is exceptionally quiet when he sits down for the dinner. After clicking on HUM's YouTube channel Saad scrolls up to latest Sang e Mah episode. Before he presses the space bar to play he turns to Selena for affirmation. Her nod causes the music to flood into the room.

" Pause it" their dad finally looks up. "No more dramas, no more movies. Focus on your studies" Saad who looks in mom's direction with pleading eyes.

"This is the only time we-" Saad wants to complete his sentence about how they only watch tv for 35 - 45 minutes each day with no family movies on the weekends. However, their dad interrupts him.

"Yeah. And that has been a distraction too"

"But-" Saad insists but Selena and Amelia know better not to persuade this matter or else things will get nastier than they are.

But Saad knowing nothing continues to mumble starting in his mom's direction who motions him to come sit and eat in silence.

"Should I throw your laptop out?" Saad has triggered it now. "And Amelia when did your results come out?"

"Today." She comments quietly.

"And when were you going to tell?" he continues with his food while Amelia has stopped eating. Selena slowly spoons the dal chawal from her plate with a bit of Shan carrot pickle.

"I have given your mail to the class teacher. You would have received the marks" Amelia tries to bite her anger away but it was too hot to be swallowed down.

"Don't talk to me in that tone" he raises his voice that echoes in the apartment. "Okay. And what about the results. 60% in Chemistry? This is unacceptable."

"I got a C grade in chemistry" she replies in the same tone which makes him shoot his head up in his direction.

"C grade? 60% same thing. Selena used to get 90% or above in all subjects."

"That is Pakistani board. I am in Cambridge board" she defends herself.

The counterargument is stretching long with the patience of the three silent eaters growing thin with each passing minute.

"Okay and mathematics?! Why don't you have a full mark? You can score full in this subject very easily. Huh?" Tears brim Amelia's eyes. She is unable to meet her dad's eyes and hangs her head low. The tears drip on her barely touched dal chawal with Shan pickle in the corner.

Mom slams her stainless tablespoon on her plate. Dad sitting beside her doesn't flinch but the three kids do.

"Can we eat food in peace." Her words are more of a command than a question that silences dad. "Why is it always that you have to bring school results at the time of dinner?"

She lets her question settle in the silence interrupted by Saad's spoon gathering the few scattered rice grains on his plate.

"And why does your lecture always a brawl with your kids rather than being an understanding mindful conversation?"

"Haven't I provided her enough resources to study? She wanted a subscription for Save my exams. Out of all three of them, her school is the most expensive one. What else does she want?" he barks.

Selena's hands are ice cold. She wants to escape this room. She can't bear to see her siblings seeing this. The fights only she has experienced in her childhood. With a tug on both siblings' sleeves, she drags them into their room.

"Resources and money you throw at your kids don't amount for the time you spend with them". Mom states.

Amelia collapses on the sofa with the flood of tears engulfing her into sorrow. She bawled while Saad and Selena warp their hands around her. The echo of dad screaming to mom's questions because he has no reasoning behind his rash actions.

"Have you ever thought of talking to her instead of screaming?" mom continues.

"Haven't you seen how she replies." he raises his voice even louder.

"She reflects your action, Asad. She is your daughter. You ruin our dinner every time." Mom's words are sharp but low in tone.

"Oh! I ruin the dinner. I might as well not have dinner" the clatter of plates interrupts his echoes.

"Let's watch Sang e Mah." Selena sniffs and wipes Amelia's tears.

The drama starts with the OST:

"

عشق ہے، جنوں ہے
یا وہ بے خودی کا دھمال ہے
تجھے کیا خبر ہے؟
او، بے خبر غمِ زندگی تو کمال ہے
او، بے خبر غمِ زندگی تو کمال ہے",
(Is it love? Is it madness?
Or is it the tumult of ecstasy?
How would you be aware?!
Oh, unaware of the sorrow of life you are perfection.
Oh, unaware of the sorrow of life you are perfection.)

This line from the OST takes Selena's breath away. She inhales deeply trying to prevent the brimming tears from escaping.

"
وہ جو خود کو بھی ملا نہیں، تجھے کیا ملے گا؟
و

ہ ہے بے خبر، وہ ہے گمشدہ
تجھے کیا ملے گا؟
تُو تو خواہشوں کے شہر میں ہے
تُو تو چاہتوں کے سفر میں ہے
نہ ہے ہوش اپنے وجود کا، نہ خیال ہے"

(How can you find him who didn't find himself?
He is unaware, he is lost.
How will you get him?!
You are in the city of wishes,
You are traveling (on the lane of) desires.
He is neither aware of his existence nor does he care.)

Atif Aslam's voice echoes in Aariz's ears. He loves this singer. While deciding about what to write in the notebook he had stuffed his AirPods in his ears. His hand spontaneously writes the lyrics in his messy scribbled Urdu. He needs to get these feelings out. What are these feelings? Are they even love? Or just an obsession? And if love, why her?

"

جا بجا تُو چل دیا، پھر کہاں
ڈھونڈتا ہے کیوں تُو سنگِ ماہ؟
جا بجا تُو چل دیا، پھر کہاں
ڈھونڈتا ہے کیوں تُو سنگِ ماہ؟
سنگِ ماہ

"

(Then aimlessly where to are you walking?!
Why do you search for the MoonStone?
Then aimlessly where to are you walking?!
Why do you search for the MoonStone?
MoonStone.)

It's better if he addresses these feelings by writing them down. Selena. He writes on the red margin on the top left. The very first message flashes in front of his eyes. The essay - a long message on med school survival plans. The various websites she had linked in her message were followed by another message to apologize for the monologue.

He had just gotten out of the physiology lecture after finalizing his lecture notes on the mechanism of osmosis. He had to race down from the physiology department to anatomy to reach the lecture on time. However, two hours of exhaustive physiology had diverted his attention from anatomy.

He took a quick detour to the vending machine to get a cup of coffee. Sipping coffee makes his racing legs slow down. He switches his mobile to an open pdf version of Gray's Anatomy to revise the planes. A notification pops up. It's Selena. The girl whose request he left pending in the summer before he shifted to Denmark.

A few months later he sent out a follow request to her just for the sake of stalking. She had 6 posts. But of course, not accept her request. Now that he thinks back, what was he even thinking? He wished to see trophies in her post, certificates, and medals but all he found was aesthetic photography.

The sky. The flowers. The sketches. Some Urdu poetry.

The idea he had of her was of a God. Perfect. Flawless. Seamless. Balanced. Her perfect smile at every gathering made him so envious. He still is envious of her energetic personality which drives people's attention.

A flashback of her serving the tea with people showering her with appreciation even before they sip it. It merges into the flashback of him handling her a dish filled with nihari. She doesn't take it but scans the bowel for any dripping stains. Her focused eyes, her confident hands cleaning the stain. His eyes follow her fingers as she holds the bowel to take it away.

He wishes he should have held the bowel between them for a moment, for her to look up. Just in case in her eyes he would've found the source that sparks his heart. But she had snatched the bowl from him as if she knew him too well to comprehend his wheels churning in the head. He smirks as he pens down his thoughts that he will never be able to bring on his tongue.

---

So how's the chapter?

Dropping here the ost of Sang e Mah: