I woke up to Hispanic music playing. Ez was gone, he wasn't by the bed anymore. I managed to get out of bed, my feet hit the cold hardwood floor. I shuffle out of the room and into the kitchen. Andres and Carla were making breakfast, setting up the table.

"Hey!" Carla walks up to me. "How you feeling?"

"Oh im better." I lied. "Just moody thats all. Sorry for the all trouble."

"You don't gotta say sorry Mari." Andres smirks as he placed my plate on the table. "Sit, join us."

"Andres makes great pancakes." I sat next to Carla, who was pouring syrup on her pancakes. The feeling here was nice. They both cared. The music was still playing as we ate, matter in what, the pancakes were good. "So, I was thinking we need to destress, you been stressful, We've been working our asses off, we should go out. We should go to a club!" Carla looks at me. "Oh, Andres, I guess you can come too." He rolled his eyes and continued to eat.

"Uh yeah. That sounds like a great idea." I nodded, looking down at the plate.

"We can go this weekend." Carla gently pushes me. "Theres this awesome place downtown."

"Okay, yeah, I'm down." We finished breakfast, Carla went to see her brother, Andres went to work and I was heading to pick Coco to go to this rehab place. My eyes were burning, stinging. I threw on my sunglasses and waited for him to come out. Coco came out of the house, squinting his eyes from the sun.

"Hey." He sniffs and placed a kiss on my cheek.

"Ready?" He nods and we drove away. The ride was silent, i had a pounding headache that was going to make me cry since it hurt so bad. "You okay?"

"Just a headache." I gave him a smile and focused on the road. The air was tense for no reason, I didn't know why. Coco reaches out for my hand and held it. We got to the center and headed in. The place was so soul sucking. It was just a simple bland color and it was just depressing. There was a bunch of people wearing grey long sleeves, pj pants and slippers. "Coco?" I turned to him, holding his hand. "Don't worry, its just to look around."

"Yeah, yeah I know. It just feels-"

"Like it sucks all the happiness? Yeah." I turned around.

"Ill look for the person, you can stay here."

"You sure?" Coco places a kiss on my cheek before he left.

"Let me do this." He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked away. I sat down in the sitting area, still in sunglasses and in pain from the headache. I picked up a pamphlet, reading about the shit they do here, the activities, the staff and how life changing it is. 20 minutes passed and Coco came back. "Lets go." He nods to the door. I held onto his arm as we walked to the car.

"What you think?"

"It's okay." He got in the car without looking at me.

"Just okay? I mean they got a lot of things to do here, keep you busy." I got in and turned my body to him. "They even got horses." Coco chuckles.

"Maybe we can look somewhere else? Its a bit far and i gotta stay. I want one that I can be home, with you and Letty." I nodded, understanding.

"Yeah. Let me see what I can find." I turned on the car and pulled out of the parking lot and drove back home. Coco unlocked the door and I crashed on the couch. He comes by, laying his head on my lap. I played with his hair, braiding it.

"Do you still want a family?" He asked me. My hands stopped playing around.

"I still do. Yeah." I looked at him. "Why are you asking me?"

"Its just that when we lost our baby, you don't really talk about it." He sits up. I tilted my head to the side, against the couch. "Is it because of me?"

"What?! Of course not!" I pulled in closer. "Its not you Coco. I swear. I want us to be a family, with Letty." Coco had these eyes, puppy eyes that just got me.

"Do you still love me even though Im fucked up? My eye, drugs, my past?"

"Nothing will ever change the way I love you. Coco, I love you." I repeated. "I dont care if you lost a leg or were rich, im still going to be here, with you. No matter what."

"I love you more." He wipes the tear away from my cheek. I cracked a smile.

"God we're one of those cringy ass couples."

"I don't care." He grabs my cheeks. "As long as I'm with you, I don't care if we are." We sat there, holding each other. "I promise you that I will never lie to you or hurt you."

"I know you won't hurt me." I sat on his lap. "You care about me too much, it's the virgo in you." He throws his head back. "What?"

"Shut up about the astrology shit." I laughed.

"That's something a virgo would say." His phone rang. It was text. He had to go.

"Stay, don't go to Carlas. I want you here. Where you're supposed to be."

"Ill be here. Just be back home, dont leave me." He kisses my hand, plays with the ring and takes off. I decided to go shopping since we were running low on food. I shopped around for the stuff that we needed, adding it to the cart and carrying the bags around the small shops we had. Still soldiers were around, but even more cops. One man, Roberto's dad, was standing outside of a liquor store, just standing there. We made eye contact, but broke it when I bumped into some one. "Fuck! Im sorry." I started picking up the food that fell out of the bags.

"Its alright." A man started to help me. He picks up the bag and give it to me. "Say, do I know you?" He was older, he was dirty, wearing shorts, boots and a wifebeater. I definitely didnt know him.

"No, im sorry. Probably mixing me up with someone else."

"Yeah I think so." He smiled. He had yellow and missing teeth. I knew it was time to go. "I apologize for the mess." He was on meth or something because he was really fucked up.

"It was me, no need." I sped to the car, throwing the bags in the back and locking the car as i got in. Something about him I didn't like. As I drove away, he was there with another man on the phone, waving at me. Fuck this shit, this is some horror movie shit. I took a couple of turns in case if they followed me and finally made it home, running in and locking the door and windows. I wasn't taking any chances.

I relax on the bed, happy to be in my own bed, spread out. It became dark, the house became cool, the sheets were cold. Estaba frezca en la casa. Cool nights like these I love. The door opens and Coco comes in the room. He looked tired.

"Sorry I came home late." He whispers as he got into bed, pulling me closer to him.

"As along your here with me, there's nothing to worry about."

—

A few weeks later:

Ever since my whole Episode i had, i need to tell someone. I knew Angel would understand since he kinda knew what to do since it happened before. But I felt like this time, it gotten worse, I just hope Angel can help me...

I walked up the steps to the Angel's door, knocking and rang the door bell. He was probably sleeping.

"Hey Angel." I said with a smile as he opened the door. "I want to talk to you."

"Not right now Marisol, im busy." He looks back into the house.

"Just like for 5 minutes? I just really want to talk to you about-"

"Marisol! I dont got the fucking time!" He snaps at me. I jumped back. "I don't want to hear what you have to cry about, i dont fucking care! Im busy!"

"But-" I saw someone in the corner of the room, peaking out of the doorframe.

"Get it through your fucking skull!"

"You know what fuck you Angel!" I pushed him. Be slams the door as he came outside, pissed.

"I dont care what you are going through. Its called adulting. I don't want to hold your hand every time you want it, I don't to hear about your shitty marriage problems or whatever."

"You're supposed to be my big brother, my savior, my role model." I turned to him as I opened the car door. "You know, you're supposed to protect me. But you say the meanest things to me when I try to tell you." He grabs my arm and pulls me away from my car.

"Like I told Ez, you need to grow up. Nobody likes a baby."

"You know what, forget it. I don't even know why I decided to tell you." I yanked my arm back and got into the car, staring him down. Back at home, fumbling around to find my house keys in my purse, i heard a motorcycle pull up, I didn't even look up to see, since I had tears in my eyes. "Stop fucking crying." I swore to myself.

"Marisol-"

"What!" I snapped. It was Gilly. I backed up for a moment. "Gilly, im sorry. I didn't mean to snap, im just not having-"

"I gotta warn you about Coco. I know that he said he stopped doing that meth shit, but I saw him snort some stuff today in the bathroom." He knew? All this time. He didn't even help him?

"No, that can't be." I shook my head. "He said he stopped, he promised me."

"Looks like he broke that promise." He shrugged his shoulders. "I thought you should know because you shouldn't be involved with this shit, he's pulling you with him. I just don't wanna see you get hurt." Gilly gets on his bike and left. I stood there, now let everything out. I screamed, kicked my car with angry. Coco wouldn't do that to me. He promised. Promised.

—

I got to Carlas, going to the room, drinking whatever i had left. Luckily, nobody was home, so I let it out. Where did I go wrong? I did try. Did I try hard enough? Why? I felt numb, no pain as I continued to drink. I need to feel like this again. No pain is better. Sip after sip I was slipping into numbness.

I dropped the empty bottle next to me, now looking at the wall. I wasn't going to assume anything, i need Coco to tell me, straight up, no bullshit.