My stomach woke me up. The pain and the turning made me sit up, brushing my hair back and trying to keep it down. Soon as I opened my eyes, boom, migraine. Lucky me. I tried to stop thinking about the pain but I felt like I was going to vomit. I race to the bathroom, lifting the seat up and let everything come out.

"Damn." Andres said. I kicked the door close and vomit again. I felt hot, disgusting every time my head hovered over the toilet seat. I was probably in there for about 15 minutes, cleaning the seat and washing my mouth. Once I looked at the mirror, my eyes were red, I looked like a came out from a fucking Tim Burton movie.

"Its free to use." I said as I came out and head to the kitchen. They had made coffee so I poured myself some into a cup and went back to my room, closing the door behind me. I picked up the bottle I had and pour whatever was left into the mug and continued to drink it.

I got dressed, since I was stopping by pops house to get some stuff that I had there. I walked out of the room and Carla was just coming back home.

"Where you going?" She turns to me.

"Hopefully not to get yelled at." I put on some sunglasses and shrugged out of the door. It was a short distance to dads place so I decided to not take the car and walk there. I hopped up the steps and started to look for the key to this place in my hella messy purse, finally found it and opened the door.

The place was dark, probably my dad wasn't up yet. I quietly walked up the stairs and entered my old bedroom, closing the door behind me. The room stayed the same, same covers on the bed, paintings and supplies all over my desk and photos and posters around my walls. I came here for one thing and only thing only. I headed to the closet, kneeling down and opening the flooring and grabbing a shoe box from there.

I had many things, old cigarette boxes, old photos, my suicide note, which i need to burn, my fake ID, pretty much anything that will get me in trouble with my parents, especially dad. This was when i was a teenager and hid things from them. lastly, there it was. Money. I had saved tips from the carnicería and used that to get out of here but I was 17, no where to go, but as you can see, I stayed. I shoved the stack of cash into my purse and slide the piece of wood back and looked to my side.

I picked up the navy sweater that used to belong to my mother, hugging it. It still smelled like her. Lavender and coconut. I put it on, pretending that she was hugging me and dusted myself off and went downstairs. I heard the coffee pot on, he's up,

"Marisol." He shuffled to the front of the living room. I slowly turned to him.

"Pops." I coughed up.

"I made coffee, stay, we have to talk." The old man shuffled back to the kitchen and poured me a cup. Great, a talk. I wonder how this will go. I sat down on my old chair and my dad hands me the cup. "What brings you here?"

"Picking up some stuff." I sat up, moving in my seat. "What is it you want to talk about? I don't have all day." My dad sighs, look at me up from his glasses.

"You were here the other day."

"Its called a courtesy check in. I wanted to see if you're still breathing."

"What-"

"I get it. You're disappointed how I came out." I gave him a cheeky smile. "At least pretend you give a shit about me." He was about to say something but I cut him off again. "I needed you and you grieved over a woman who had mom killed. You grieve over her while your own daughter was in jail."

"I was going to-"

"But you didn't." I got up, grabbing my bag and looked at him. "Why do I even come here, all we do is fight." I just stormed out. I needed to clear my head, the liquor store was near by and thats where I was heading to. "Coco, we need to talk. Call me." I said through the phone.

Omar nods as I entered the store, nodding at him, ending the call. I scanned the aisles, picking bottle after bottle. The front door bell rang. The limp walk and keys sounded familiar. I turned to see Angel walking in. Fuck, I gotta get out of here. I quickly took my stuff and headed to Omar.

"Got it." Angel slides in, putting his stuff with mine. We stood there awkwardly. The shit he said to me yesterday pissed me off. "Party tonight?"

"Why do you care?"

"Thats a lot of alcohol." I scuffed.

"What are you, the alcohol police?" Angel sighs and looks at me. Omar slowly checks out stuff out.

"About yesterday, my bad. I was going through something and I took it on you. You know you can tell me anything."

"Yeah." After that incident, not anymore.

"This is my way to say sorry." He slams his money on the countertop and slides it to Omar. "My treat."

"What a saint." I said, yanking my bag and heading outside. I unscrewed the lid of the bottle and chugged it on my way to Carlas. I wobbled up the stairs, aggressively putting the key in, went straight to my room and hid the rest of the drinks under my bed and laid on the couch, drinking away. The bottle was finished, damn it. Just as I was about to get another one, someone knocked on the door. I managed to get myself up and head to the door and saw Coco standing right in front of me.He looked tired, worn out, empty. He was panting as if he ran here.

"Marisol." He takes a breath.

"Coco, are you okay?"

"We gotta talk." My heart sunk. I didn't like where this was going. "We're done."

"What?" It felt like the alcohol in my system was gone as he said that. "Done? Done what?"

"This." He pointed to us. "Im sorry."

"You're sorry?" I let out a laugh. "Why? Hm? Why are we done? I want to know."

"You won't understand."

"It's because of the drugs right?" Cocos head shot up. This was it, I was done. "You're choosing that over me? Over Letty? Over the club? You're just going to throw everything away for that?"

"Marisol-"

"No Johnny!" I pushed my hair back. My face was burning hot. "Is it true?"

"Just calm down."

"Fuck, is it!?" He didn't even look at my eyes. "Gilly told me he saw you snorting coke, that true too? Please tell me he's lying." He didn't say a thing. He did. "You lied to me! To my fucking face!" I pushed him off the front step. "I trusted you! I did everything for you and you pull this shit?! How dare you! You promised me! How fucking dare you!"

"Stop!" He grabs my arms. Johnny shakes me as I tried to have him let me go. "Im trying to fucking protect you! I fucking love you and i care about you!"

"You care about me?" I pushed him off of me. He stumbled a bit but he caught his fall. "Because if you did give a shit about me and your daughter, you would never do drugs in the first place! But you did!" I aggressively wiped my tears off my face. "Fuck you Johnny Cruz." I headed to the door. Coco had followed me up the steps.

"You don't mean that." I snapped my head around.

"I've done everything for you and I loved you. I trusted you, you fucked that up. This is how you repay me? I thought you were the one. We were supposed to be together." He tried to reach out for me I pulled back.

"I lost you didn't I?"

"You lost me the day you lied to me." I slammed the door in his face. I violently cried, trashing the room, swearing to myself. I raised my hand, looking a the ring. All I could remember was stashing it in a drawer, where I couldn't see them from blindsight.

This broke me more than anything. He was everything to me. Johnny just threw me away. We were doing good, what did I miss? I guess they're were right, addicts lie. I drowned myself with more booze. The room door opens and Andres whistles. I tossed the bottle to the side and stood up to look at him.

"What happened here?"

"Letting out some steam." I laughed to myself as picked up some stuff off the ground.

"What actually happened?"

"Coco broke up with me." I shrugged. "After so many years, just like that." I snapped my fingers.

"Sorry to hear that." He leans to the side. "You shouldn't deserve that, I bet you did everything for him." I didn't say anything. I thought I did but it was all in head. I was too drunk to think.

"Andres." I turned to him. "Fuck me." Andres just chuckled.

"You're crazy." I took off my shirt and stood there. Andres looks at me, very tempted.

"Fuck me." With that, Andres closes the door behind him. I need to get Coco out of mind. If that was even possible. What was I even doing? God. Before Andres had a chance to do anything I grab him by the collar and pull him into my lips.

"Ah fuck it." He moans in my mouth. He kissed me more heavily, wrapped his arms around my waist as he pushes me to the bed. I spread my legs open, Andres got in between, i could feel how hard he was. Andres had a second thought, he flipped me over, making my back face him, ripping my underwear off. He pulls down his jeans and boxers enough to let his hard cock spring free. Andres guides his glans to my folds to slam his thick length into me. I moan loud and bit my lip.

"Shit!" I groaned as Andres fucked me harder. He wrapped his arm around my neck, bring me closer to him. "Co-" I stopped myself from saying his name but thats all I could imagine, Coco fucking me instead. He was in my system, like a fucking disease.

"You like that?" He slams into me harder. I rolled my eyes back. "Look at you, taking it like a good girl." He growls in my ear. My hands touched his face, kissing his side. Andres grunts, thrusting into me sloppy and pushes me back to the bed and finished himself. I laid there, catching some air. Andres comes back to me, his thumb went my mouth. "God you're beautiful, I don't understand how someone could let you go." He places his lips on my neck, making us fall back. My fingers played with his hair. A tear fell down my side of my face. All I could think was that it wasn't the same.