I hold my breath as Dorian sprints towards the ramp. He starts to fall but reaches up with one arm and grasps the lip of the ramp. He leaps himself over the edge and he has made it. I hear someone clearing their throat and I turn my head aside. My eyes meet those of Xaden and I tilt my head in confusion. His eyes flicker down before looking me in the eyes. I scowl as I look down.
     "I'm so sorry," I gasped and let go of his hand. I hadn't noticed that I had reached for his hand. I look up and I feel a blush covering my cheeks. He leans in closer until he is next to my ear.
     "It is alright." His soft, yet deep voice sends a shiver down my spine. His presence sends a tingling feeling across my body, something Garrick hadn't achieved in the way Xaden does it.
     "Don't die on the Gauntlet, Aelin," he adds. He pulls back so that his eyes are fixed on mine. I let out a shaky breath, forgetting the world around us.
     "Only if you don't die too," I whisper. "I cannot stand losing you, Xaden." Before I avert my gaze, I notice a small smile on his lips. I feel my chest tighten and my heart ache. All for him.
     ''Perfect technique!'' The voice of our Professor makes us both look toward him. My eyes flicker to Garrick who is standing beside Professor Emeterrio and his eyes aren't fixed on me, no they are fixed on Xaden and he looks pissed.
     ''Perfect and yet he didn't bond,'' Amelia snarls. I roll my eyes at her comment, however, she is somewhere right. How can someone pass the Gauntlet flawlessly yet be without a dragon?
     ''You should stay focused on yourself, Amelia,'' Nymeria comments. Amelia sends her another glare before probably focusing on the Gauntlet.
     ''I'm too short,'' I hiss softly, feeling a sense of anxiety clawing my stomach.
     ''You are fast,'' Xaden adds. I was slightly startled because I thought no one would have heard me. ''Besides, you are not that small. You are a head smaller than me.'' I glance aside to glare at him, but I see his serious expression. ''Use your speed and momentum,'' he adds. ''And—''
     ''And trust your ability and instincts,'' I chuckle while rolling my eyes. My eyes shift to Xaden once more, only to see him shake his head. However, the corners of his mouth are twitching into a small smile.
     ''Don't get too confidential, Vervain,'' he says with a hint of amusement.
     ''No,'' I say, trying to hold my grin. ''I would never.'' I watch Xaden shift his eyes to me and I fail to suppress a grin. Amusement flashes in his eyes, however, it disappears the moment Professor Emetterio announces Chaol to start. I turn to the Gauntlet where Chaol ran off to.
     ''Keep running!'' Celaena yells. As if Chaol could hear her, he sped over the log without fault. It takes him about four rotations before finishing the first ascent.
     ''Amelia, start,'' Professor Emetterio orders. His eyes are focused on his pocket watch and not the course. Amelia passes the first ascent without any hesitation. She rushes and follows Chaol's trail to the hanging balls. If she falls, she has a minimum chance of hitting the single spinning log from the first ascent. However, she doesn't fall yet she clings onto the swinging ball.
     ''You need to go, Amelia!'' I yell from the top of my lungs, desperately hoping she would hear me. From the corner of my eye, I watch Celaena getting ready. My eyes shot to Professor Emetterio, who is focusing on his watch.
     ''Swing to the next one!'' Nymeria yells.
     ''I can't!'' A high-pitched scream ripples from Amelia's throat. My chest tightens as Professor Emetterio commands Celaena to go. My heartbeat elevates while a knot tightens in my stomach. The gravel crunches beneath my boots as I move to the starting position. If you don't make it to the end, keep in mind... No Presentation and no Threshing. That should do it. Terrifying thoughts motivate me to face this thing. While Amelia climbs down, Celaena passes Amelia with ease. Much time I didn't get to think about it as Professor Emetterio called my name.
     ''Aelin, begin!'' I bolt toward the first part of the ascent, facing the spinning logs. Keep going. Keep going. I keep repeating as if my mind would forget to keep going. The easy part was leaping from pillar to pillar because Xaden and I used to do that all the time.
I jump into the rotating wheel and run. Timing. Timing. This part is all about timing. I seize the opportunities and I race through the openings toward the second ascent. The first ascent is done. Second ascent, go. I take a leap and jump onto the first ball, grasping it up top. I force the ball to rotate, using my weight. It swings me to the next call and I repeat this four times before landing on the gravel path.
     The third ascent is all momentum. I sprint forward to attack the first lines of metal rods. The iron rails are the next ones. I catch my breath, swiftly glancing over my shoulder to see Xaden gripping the hanging balls behind me. His eyes briefly meet mine and I continue. I swing from the first rail to the next one, however, I feel my fingers slipping away.
     "Fuck!" I curse, desperately reaching for the next rail. I cling to it as I need a moment to comprehend.
     "Trust your abilities, Aelin!" Xaden shouts.
     "Keep going, Aelin!" I know for sure that it isn't Xaden's voice, no it was Garrick's voice. I take a deep breath before moving across the rail. I push myself off the edge and swing out for the rail. Trust your abilities.
     "This is the best!" Celaena screeches. She is right before me, reaching the twisting staircase.
     "You're mad, Celaena!" I shout. "See some healers afterward if you think this is fun!" I hear her laughing while I watch her bolt up the stairs. I leap onto the first post, reminding myself to go straight ahead. A roar sounds from above and I freeze immediately. I shift my eyes upwards, only to see the underbelly of a Green Daggertail. It must be heading back to the Vale. Celaena cries out and my eyes flicker to where I last saw her. My blood runs cold as I see her wobble and fall.
     "Celaena!" I scream but I don't dare to move. Our eyes meet as she reaches for me. She falls.
     "Aelin, you need to continue!" Xaden bellows. "You mustn't fall!" My breathing is unsteady and uncontrollable.
     "I can't do it, Xaden," I yell. "I'm stuck! I can't move!"
     "Yes, you can," he speaks. "You must. Bolt up in an instant and keep going. I believe in you." I desperately try and steady my breathing, closing my eyes for a moment. I can do this. Three. Two. One! I bolt forward, acting on the adrenaline that is pumping through my veins. I step onto the last post before I jump myself to safety. I let out a cry of relief as Xaden followed my last steps.
He jumps onto the platform with me and engulfs me in a hug. I press my face into his chest as I allow him to comfort me.
"You are alright," he whispers in my ear before pulling away. He grips my shoulders to look me in the eyes. Even though I was comprehensively thinking about my life, I could see the relief in his eyes.
     "Come," he says and gently pushes me to the stairs that will lead us to the ground. I let him gently guide me to the earth, which I am happy to set my feet upon. Once I place my foot on the solid grounds of the earth, I remember that Nymeria is still out there. My head snaps in the direction of the Gauntlet. I watch her step onto the last post before finishing the Gauntlet.
"Nymeria!" I cry and wait for her to fall into my arms. Nymeria sprints down the stairs and flies me in the arms.
"I thought you were the one who fell when I heard those dreadful screams," Nymeria breathes. I close my eyes for a brief moment before pulling away from the embrace.
"Luckily I wasn't, it was Celaena," I mutter. She gently cups my cheeks and presses a soft kiss on my forehead.
"It could have happened to any of us, we commend her soul to Malek," she answers. I nod. I commend her soul to Malek. However, it doesn't sit right with me.

"There you are, I have been searching for you," Garrick says, jogging up to me. I flash him a smile, knowing why he has been searching for me. "You quickly left after the first time on the Gauntlet." And that is why. I remember his pissed face when he looked at Xaden.
     "I thought it would have been inappropriate if I talked to you since you are, of course, a year higher," I lie.
     "Still not used to it? I understand," he says. I feel bad for him, having to lie to him. I flash him a faint smile. "I know a good place where no one will find us." I glance aside and I meet his eyes.
     "I'm intrigued," I say. "Guide me there." Garrick reaches for my hand before leading me to the courtyard. I grow slightly concerned once he heads to the bushes.
     ''Garrick—''
     ''Trust me, princess,'' he interrupted as if he was expecting me to tell him that. I tilt my head and follow him through the bushes. I feel as if we are disappearing from the cadets and riders. He sits us down on a bench while I look around. This place is hidden from prying eyes. I let my head rest on his shoulder.
     ''And did I do you any wrong?'' he questions. I am sure he has a cheeky smile playing on his lips. I huff a smile while I lie down and lie my head in his lap.
     ''Is that alright with you?'' I question. Garrick looks down and his smile widens. He nods as his hand caresses my forehead. ''I was confused why you headed to the bushes,'' I add. A laugh ripples from his throat and it makes me smile as well. My eyes shift to the open air as I remember Celaena's expression. No matter what I do, her face has haunted me ever since.
     ''Is everything alright, princess?'' I stare at the blue sky, reliving the moment. ''Princess?'' I feel Garrick gently tugging my hair. I shift my eyes to him and I meet his eyes.
     ''Hmm?'' I hum. I witnessed a concerned expression in his eyes.
     ''I asked if everything was alright. You seem a tad distracted,'' he questions. There I see it again, Celaena's face when she fell.
     ''I saw someone, no, I saw Celaena... My squadmate die today,'' I mutter, averting my gaze to my fiddling fingers. I hear Garrick sigh. My chest tightens at the thought of it.
     ''It must have been hard,'' he answers. I nod, feeling my eyes getting watery. Don't you dare cry now. Not now. I sniff, trying to contain my emotions.
      "Hey," he speaks softly, putting me upright. I sniff once again, denying any eye contact. I feel my shoulder against his because he is pulling my body towards his. I feel like I'm on the edge of breaking down. "Let it all out. It's okay," he adds. His words cause the waterworks to start.
I wrap my right arm around his left shoulder as I hide my face in the crook of his neck. I silently sob in Garrick's neck but I cannot help but feel devastated.
"I'm sorry," I stutter between the sobs. Garrick has been gently stroking my back. Celaena's death appears to be the drop that makes the bucket overflow.
"Don't you apologize," Garrick comforts. "It is alright to cry. Any of us has gone through a lot and we have learnt to live with it however these memories and or emotions get the better of us. It's okay, princess." I pull away to look him in the eyes.
"I don't know why this suddenly happens. I am no crying person," I say. My voice is hoarse and raspy from the crying. I feel Garrick's hands cupping my cheeks, his thumbs are wiping away the tears.
"Perhaps her death triggered your emotional system?" he suggests. I look Garrick in the eyes and I can't help but take a swift look at his lips. My emotional regulation is out of order and upset.
     "I don't know but her death has upset my full emotional regulation. I feel loads of things now," I say, looking him in the eyes once again. I see the visible confusion in his eyes before my eyes flicker to his lips once more. As I look him in the eyes, the confusion has all been gone. It is clear what I want from him.
     "Are you sure?" he questions hesitantly. "You are upset and not thinking straight." My jaw ticks with annoyance. I am done with men telling me what I should do or should not.
"Do not speak of what I want, Garrick," I reply. Those words leave my mouth in a sharper tone than I intended. I watch him with a dared expression, waiting for him to make a move. He still has this hesitating look in his eyes. I take a sigh and rise to my feet. I intend to walk away, only to feel a hand closing around mine. I glance over my shoulder to see Garrick rising to his feet as well.
     He yanks me toward him, causing me to collide with his chest. I place my hands on his chest while I feel his strong arm secure my back, slightly pulling me closer to him. His eyes flicker to my lips for a brief moment before he closes the distance between our faces and our lips touch. My hands travel to his cheeks, deepening the kiss.
He pulls away, catching his breath. ''Wow,'' he breathes and it makes me chuckle. He is adorable. I look into his eyes as I feel some sparkles in my stomach.
''Can I do it again?'' he questions, tilting his head. He is adorable. My thumbs caress his cheekbones, smiling and nodding. He huffs a smile before pressing his lips onto mine once again. Perhaps there is hope for us after all.

''Are we still down for tonight?'' Xaden questions before shoving his fork with food into his mouth. I stare at him, trying to remember what exactly we will be doing tonight. He, too, notices my blank mind and helps me.
''We agreed on sparring and studying together?'' he says, helping me realize that it is tonight.
''Oh!'' I exclaim and chuckle. ''Wow, yeah. Perhaps we could practice stuff for the Gauntlet since Presentation is in a week or two.'' Once the word Gauntlet slipped from my mouth, I saw Celaena's face envisioned in my mind.
''Okay,'' Xaden replies silently. My eyes shift to Nymeria who is staring at the both of us. I frown and tilt my head at her. She arches an eyebrow and the corner of her mouth curves into a smirk.

Later that evening, Xaden and I are sitting in the library after a heated sparring session. I yawn while my eyes roam over the words in my book.
"Do you wonder what dragon you'll bond with?" Xaden suddenly questions, obviously bored out of his mind. I sit back and turn to him. My mind thinks of Sgaeyl, remembering her piercing gaze on day one.
"I do," I reply. "Or what would happen if I don't bond." Xaden sends a glare in my direction. Only for me to see his eyes shift to something behind me. I glance over my shoulder to see Garrick approaching. I flash him a smile as those small sparkles fill my stomach.
"Hi," I smile and look up at him. Garrick places his hands on the armrests before kissing my lips.
"Hi, princess," he smiles before he turns to Xaden and nods. I turn my head, only to see Xaden tensed up. I notice his clenched jaw and the dead look in his eyes. He is certainly not amused.
     "Are you studying for much longer?" he questions, silently implying whether I could join him in his dorm. I look up and open my mouth but Xaden interrupts me.
"We have an exam coming up, so we will need as much time as we can get," Xaden grits through his teeth. I turn to Xaden and if looks could kill, Garrick would have been dead on the floor.
     "He is right," I reply quickly, laying my hand on his cheek. Garrick's attention fixes on me and he flashes me a small smile. "I will see you tomorrow because I need to study or Professor Devera will kill me." He mutters a soft okay before pressing a long, soft kiss on my lips.
"I'll see you later, princess," he says before leaving us alone. The tension is thick, you could cut it with a knife. My cheeks feel warm as I nonchalantly focus on the words in my book, ignoring Xaden's eyes on the side of my head. I reach the point where I cannot stand it any longer. I turn to Xaden, who is still staring at me.
     "Yell whatever you want to yell. Tell me you are disappointed that I'm dating Garrick. Tell me how unwise of me it is. Tell me you find me foolish to do so but say something, Xaden," I rant. Xaden shakes his head.
     "It is your life," he speaks softly. His harsh tone has disappeared. "If he makes you happy then you should be content." His tone sounds sad. If he makes you happy then you should be content. Does Garrick make me happy? I feel that same, small spark in my stomach as my mind thinks of him.
     "I don't know if he does," I mutter softly. I place my elbows on the table and allow my head to rest on my hands. "I just don't know lately." I close my eyes not waiting for Xaden's response. His response never came because I drifted off to sleep. Sleep comes for me and the last thing I remember is being picked up in someone's arms, thinking it had been Garrick.