dear y/n,

it's been three months.

i miss you so much. so much has changed. and i mean a lot.

your mom and sister moved, because they want a fresh start. but don't worry, i still keep in contact with them.

everyone was given a whole month's class, about bullying and being wary of what they're saying etcetera. it was so fucking dumb and heartbreaking that you're the reason we had to have the month class. i wish we didn't.

and so many people have been expelled. you never stated any names about anyone, but not even two days after, some girls had the audacity to ask me out... like i wasn't in mourning. so i obviously told the principal about it, and they confessed crying. if i'm being honest, I think the only reason they were crying was that they got caught.

i know you said you wish the best for these people, but personally i wish them hell and back.

you know how you were, asking if the team would be sad? well, they were. especially yachi and kiyoko. i told them what you said, they listened but they were obviously so heartbroken and sad, like me. the energy is so different without your cheery self around. i miss it.

hey, i kept the promise. i beat oikawa and ushijima. i also got an invitation to the japan youth training camp. how cool, huh? i wish you were here so we could celebrate it together. i hope you watch me from above and cheer me and the team on at nationals.

i really miss you, i wish my last words to you weren't so harsh. if anything, i'm the one who's sorry. i failed to be there for you and keep you happy. and that's my fault.

and for the moving on part, yeah you see i'm not going to do it simply because you will forever stay in my heart. so even if i say that i have "moved on" i never will because you'll forever be my number one. no one else can take that spot. ever.

i really, really miss you. your smile, your laugh, your scent, your stupidness, your silliness, your hugs, you. i miss you. i miss everything about you.

god how i wish this was all a dream. i really wish it was. but it's not. and that's what fucking sucks.

wow, these past three months have been a real struggle, a bunch of crying, but i got through it because i know you'd want me to. like you said in your letter, i'm strong. i can and will get through this whether it takes me a week, a month, heck even years. but i will live a long life just for you. because i know you'd love that.

i don't really have a thing for animals, but maybe i might adopt one just for you, and name it n/n. gosh, i'm so whipped for you haha. i really miss you.

well, that's mostly it. i miss you so much, darling. i hope one day we meet again. whether it be in the afterlife or maybe in another life. i just hope to see you and embrace you again.

i love you.

with love,
tobio

-

placing the pen aside, i carefully fold the paper in half placing it in the envelope.

i leave my house walking towards the cemetery.

the sky is shining bright, there are clouds scattered randomly slowly moving. birds are chirping, flying freely through the sky. trees starting to lose their green leaves gaining brownish orange leaves.

walking a bit further, i make it to the cemetery. i walk along a brick pathway making my way towards a certain smooth slate. the name 'y/n l/n' was engraved in large letters near the top just below having the words, 'youngest child, a sibling, a friend, and significant other.' along with their date of birth and death written on it. if only they were never written there.

along with the tombstone, there were a bunch of letters and random stuffed animals scattered, some of which either being thrown away or given to her family. flowers in vases, brightly colored and some on the verge of death due to the lack of attention being given. along with those pieces was a picture frame of y/n with a bright smile.

a small smile makes its way on my face, unknowingly, along with a few tears. wiping away the tears, i place the note on her grave.

there were candles placed by their grave so i took one lighting the wick on fire, saying my prayers. it took me about two minutes before i blew them out the, getting up and walking away from the grave.

-

here it is. the place i've been dreading to go to for the longest time. especially at night.

after three months i find myself seated on a certain bench. the paint was chipped, the bolts and the legs were crusting a bit due to the rain.

sitting down i take a deep breath taking in the scenery. gasoline filled my nostrils, and although the moon was illuminating everywhere around me, i could barely make out anything on the ground.

i close my eyes trying to steady my breathing.

i once more opened my eyes taking in the gorgeous sky. the stars were shinging extremely bright, being a personal flashlight for the dark abyss. stars painted the sky.

one, in particular, caught my eyes. it was bigger than the rest and shone the brightest. it had a very nice shine to it being a whitish purple color.

is that you?

you always did shine the brightest, whether it be good attention or bad. but to me, you shined in so many ways. you helped me find myself at times, you helped me get back up on my feet, you helped me find love.

there was a chill that ran up my body. ha maybe it is them. or maybe i'm just cold.

you would've loved the stars tonight. the stars are extra beautiful tonight. isn't the moon beautiful as well?

i looked to my right, nothing. no one there. no one to fill the vacant seat.

i take a few more moments taking a breather taking in the calming scenery.

i get up stretching my arms a bit before making it down the hill

"forever and always, huh?"

note: oh wow i finished it. ok well, i'm gonna write an author's note next chapter or whatever so yeah. make sure to drink your water and eat some food mwah<3
04'04'21