( gif by hazzawckd <3 )

There is something about flying that I love.

My mother hates it. She claims she suffers from acrophobia, the fear of heights. We tried to offer her sedatives that would knock her out for the six hours it would take to get from Washington State to New York city, but she stated that the placebo effect doesn't work on her and she would be awake the entire time.

So instead of the shortest flight she would ever get on, we have been cramped in the back of our families mini van driving for the past Forty hours with only four stops in between. Tucked in between my legs is a small little notebook that has my Things to Do checklist that my father helped me put together; it keeps me busy from the sad feeling I had been shoving away for the last hour.

My three new roommates are there to greet us down at the entrance of the apartment building. Even if Eliana wasn't screaming our names, I'd have spotted the three different personalities a mile away. They wave, the other two noticing our presence and perking up with smiles on their faces.

"Hey," I say, walking up to them. "Nice to-"

But Monique is already shaking my hand before I can get the words out. "Oh, you must be (Y/N)!" she says. "It's so good to finally meet you." She cards her fingers through her strawberry blonde hair, clearly excited. I tried to talk to all three of them as much as I could before moving down here, but Monique was the only one who got back to me relevantly quick and we hit it off just a tad bit better than the others.

My parents and little sister follow suit behind me, bags in their hands as Vanity, my other roommate, punches in the code for the door and heads up the stairs offering to take one of my bags.

I was informed that Eliana and Vanity worked on the opposite schedules than Monique and I do. All three of them are around my age. Vanity was a shorter, African girl with black goddess braids, beautiful skin and a strong, narrow jaw and multicolored braces. Eliana is the opposite: thicker and taller, with chestnut hair and rounded cheeks. She has a heavy German accent that stands out the most.

Monique is the complete opposite of all three of us combined. She was born in Australia and moved to America with her brother to study abroad here in New York, three years go by and she permanently resides here whilst her brother heads back home. She has strawberry blonde hair, her nails are painted in pastel colors with small flowers lingering on the pinkie fingers, a bucket hat sits perched on her head with a nose piercing.

"I'm so excited to have someone to share the hallway with," Monique adds as we reach the final set of stairs. "Truthfully, it gets kind of boring being at the other end of the apartment when those two blast their music every night." She teases, causing both of the other girls to stick their tongues out at her from over the railing.

My mom chimes in this time, gripping the straps on my backpack. "Not to be too nosy, but what exactly do you three girls do to afford living here?" It was a good question, one I wanted to ask later on tonight when they headed back to their hotel, but now it makes me cringe at the idea of them already thinking my parents were judgmental people.

Vanity unlocks the door to the apartment, dragging my suitcase inside before stretching her arms out. "Well, I work at Great Gale. Eliana works at the Rooftop restaurant in the city, and Monique is a digital artist who is working on a project with Disney." Their jobs also make me flinch. I only moved to New York to be closer to my internship for fashion design, the opportunity was too good to turn down and no one is ever guaranteed a position here, but I prayed to even get this close to the city and my job.

My mom smiles again. "It sounds like you girls are always busy and have a good head on your shoulders." She turns to me, and now I can tell she feels a lot better about leaving me here in a completely different state. "Well, I know this is what you have been wanting and saving up for. I, we, are proud of you." Turning my head, I smile up at my parents.

Vanity appears next to me, her arms wrapping around my shoulders as best as she could with her gaze staring at my parents. "I know it must be strange leaving all your friends behind, (Y/N), but you're going to love it here." Her attention had turned to me when talking, but then she turned back to my parents and said. "I give you our word we promise to take care of her while she is here."

With one last final look around the apartment, their arms wrapping around me and them forcing my sister to say goodbye; I watch them leave from the upstairs window before I turn to stare at the three girls who were all sitting on the couch.

"Monique tells me that you got an internship at the Tapestry company," Eliana says. "That's pretty badass, how did you manage to snag that job?"

I glance at the other two, who are doing their best to look interested in the news but failing miserably due to their faces shoved in their work. I imagine it must be difficult to have to suddenly add in another girl to their routine, especially one who won't be getting paid for the first two months of her trial run. "Your guess is as good as mine." I force out a smile. "Some days I wake up and think it is all a dream."

After she shows me to my room and informs me that later on tonight we are heading to a concert, I shut my door and my feet carry me to the little edge next to my window as I gaze out of it. The sight of all the buildings and busy streets seem to calm me, but I'm barely taking it in. I glance down at my phone for the tenth time, re-reading old messages between Shawn and me. I take a picture  of the city instead and send it to my group chat I have with Tiana and Sydney. Tiana sends a laughing emoji followed by a "Get me something".

While I never had many friends growing up and Sydney is relatively new, I have been best friends with Tiana since we were in middle school. Our parents met at a school conference, the first one they had been to that year, and their never ending conversation about how the school system had Tiana and I staring at one another for the hour. Our moms hit it off, and when they realized their daughters were in the same grade, they had dinner the next day; we've been inseparable ever since.

Tiana then introduced me to Sydney who moved to our city our freshman year, she moved from Las Vegas up to Washington and they both shared a class together. Sydney and I shared a lot of similar likes between one another, ever since then we all three have been stuck like three peas in a pod.

I'm not sure how long I end up staring at the many photos in my photo album, but I hear Vanity outside my door before she comes inside with a completely different style than the one I saw earlier. She wears a yellow, daddy jelly bear crop top with REBELMINDS graphic cut off shorts, a very expensive Louis Vuitton cross board purse and Nike drunk lows that are medium curry. Her braids are in high pony tails and her wrists are dripping in ice.

"Change of plans for dinner, we got take out and are going to go to a concert instead!" She helps me sort out my clothes before I could protest, in two days I would be starting my internship and would've liked to sleep; my life follows a strict schedule that I would like to not break, but, this is New York and I doubt that will be a thing anymore.

I raised an eyebrow at the outfit she managed to put together for me before glancing at her, arms crossing one over the other in front of my chest. "Are we going to a concert or a club?" My tone is a tease, my fingers gripping at the black material of the short, tight dress I had no idea I even owned—I would have to thank my sister for this—and hold it up to my body as I stand in front of the mirror.

"Oh, come on!" Vanity implies, standing next to me as she studies what would look good with this and wouldn't. "This is New York, baby! The city that never sleeps. You never know who you might run into, besides..." She moves around me to pick up the red, lacy underwear with a loud laugh as I blush, snatching it out of her hands. "You might get lucky tonight."

A bowl of noodles and one fortune cookie later, we piled into an Uber with Eliana in the front and Monique squished in between both me and Vanity. I should be worried that I was so easily convinced to run off to a random party late at night with three people I just met, but I did make a promise to be a completely different person when I arrived here. So, here I am.

When we get there, Eliana wraps her arm around mine as we make our way in through the back. I don't say much, I actually don't say anything at all. "I can't believe you managed to get these, Vani!" She shouts over the roar of people from the front of the entrance. "I thought he said he couldn't get the extra ticket."

Vanity turns to walk backwards, her arms do a shrug motion before they knock on one of the doors that leads up to V.I.P. For reasons unknown, Monique and Eliana are the only two who dressed like they weren't going to a concert and just a stroll in the city life. I can now see tattoos lingering on their bodies, the styles don't match their personality; but it fits them none the less.

I can only imagine how I look right now. Sweat prickles my neck, soaking around the chain that Vanity let me wear tonight, and my (H/C) curls are bouncing with every step I take making me get a bit hotter.

We found good spots several feet from the stage, barricaded by black ropes and white stripes with a few body guards making their way to get into their spots for tonight's show. Vanity and Eliana stand on either side of me, Monique is next to Eliana as she leans over the rope to complain that she won't be able to see Rico from this angle. Vanity, who has apparently been to a lot of these shows, disagrees.

I take a quick glance around the venue to spot the exit in case I need to get away. The building is practically run down from the outside, the ceiling has a giant opening with many seats around the lower rim of it. The bottom portion, where the four of us stand, is much safer in my eyes; but Vanity did mention this band is notorious for performing here every weekend and hasn't changed their ways in the five years they had been together. I spot a bar not too far away with three people working it, to the right of it is the bathrooms with a giant neon arrow pointing down, and then I spot the exit for the main entrance.

The lights immediately started to dim, and everyone's loud chatter throughout the venue went to a halt. Monique let out a little screams, which somehow managed to not only pierce Eliana's left ear, but travel to my own. She ends up whacking the railing in front of her because she couldn't control herself. Her fan girl personality stuck out like a sore thumb in this room of a punk alternative rock fan. When you meet her, she looks like cottage core puked all over her wardrobe—but seeing her in this atmosphere gave me a completely different perspective on her.

Everyone tried to push to the front; the smell of alcohol, cigarettes and cheap perfume started to fill my nose when the band started to let out a loud riff. I hold my breath, trying to block the scent.

The black velvet curtain opened behind a large set of drums and in the midst of the darkness, warm white spotlights shined down on the first band member who appears. From the mumbles and excited whispers, I learn his name is Opium. He has two fake horns on his forehead, fake fangs and a puffer jacket. From what Vanity whispered to me was that Opium was the youngest, he just started not too long ago but became a fan favorite.

He walked over to the set of drums, then the moment he sat down two of the guitarists appeared from either side of the stage and the venue erupted in a roar, and something in my stomach jumped. It was like sitting front row at the Super Bowl: you might not understand or like sports, but being a part of something this big makes you feel like you belong here.

"That's Rico," Eliana yells over the loud guitar strum, her screams becoming extra loud at the only girl member of the band. "She is a killer, she definitely does better than Ozzy on the guitar!" I rub the back of my neck, unsure of what to do with my hands except keep them close to my body in case anything happened.

Rico whispers something to Opium that doesn't look pleasant, but he doesn't react and just rolls his eyes. She turns back around and moves to the microphone stand that appeared out of nowhere, but maybe it was there the whole time and my mind was running on adrenaline. Rico looks fierce, intimidating even, Ozzy is calm, controlled, like he's mastered the art of calm and collected. Opium seems to be a mixture of the two.

Rico struts over to the microphone with her large acrylics wrapping around the base as she glances out towards the crowd, a smile appearing on her lips. "You are the minority, we are the majority. Fuck your lies and fuck your greed, we are the majority." 

Everyone cheered, loud. Eliana nearly lost her voice the moment Rico got on the microphone, the realization that she was closer to them than before. I could understand why she was flustered, the more I look at Rico and study her features, the more I realize just how gorgeous she is. I pull out my phone this time, unable to control myself when my head starts bobbing once the music picks up. Everyone in the audience seemed to notice the leader singer first before I could, Vanity gripped my right arm with anticipation as she lets out a giant scream of excitement when he finally comes on to stage.

"Shout out to the underpriv" The leader singer started with his pipes shouting into the black microphone, the initial strum of his black electric guitar making my stomach jump. "Shout out the mother fuckin' majority."

I was dead set on taking a video for Tiana and Sydney, to prove to them I can have fun, but I was totally hypnotized by the singer himself. His body language was so confident in a way that he was owning the venue with his masculinity. He was proud, his chest was puffed out as he leaned his foot on one of the large speakers in front of him as he belted out every note, hitting every key and performing like it was his last. I had never seen this guy before, it had nothing to do with the state I used to live in, but it had something to do with the fact I was never into this type of music. Until now. He was attractive. But something about seeing him in real life, despite never seeing him before was exciting. There is a difference between videos and in person on stage in his prime, and I am glad I get to see him in prime for the first time.

He wore a tight black band t-shirt that was covered mostly by a spiked jacket that was decorated with a bunch of patches from various locations. The shirt was fitted perfectly around his waist, his prominent chest muscles were inviting the world to see whenever he clenched his arms or extended them out during a different part of the song. I could faintly make out medium size stick and pokes around his hip bones whenever his shirt raised up, his wrists were covered by spiked bracelets and his fingers were sprinkled with decorative rings. His palms were covered in blue fishnets with a few spikes sticking out of them.

The guitar over his hips was being worked at by his skillful hands that made it look like second nature to him. Each strum of the guitar had me almost leaning over the edge to get closer, to be in the moment even more. I could make out that two of his finger nails were painted red and blue, the rest were all black. It reminded me of his black leather boots that were laced the same color. I don't know what the colors meant to him, but his aura and personality, as well as the band made it seem like it was the norm. I wasn't used to this kind of environment nor the pleasure of seeing a popular band this up close. I guess I have been missing out on a lot of things back in California.

Eliana screams snap me out of my daze, making me scream with her as I mimic whatever she does. Whenever she screams out a lyric, I just scream out next to her since I don't know what I am doing.

I look back up at the leader singer, his wet pink lips brushing against the mic as he sang. His body was moving on its own, his pipes seemed to never let down. He had a unique voice I never heard of. Some of the words he sang were rasped, letting it carry through the venue in such a raw tone, it was incredible. Back home, the loudest music I listened to was of my mothers 90s rock, but even then it wasn't as powerful as this.

I was witnessing first hand what it meant to let loose.

He furrows his eyebrows when he sings, his tone dropping in an octave to make two crevices between them . His dark orbs travel around the venue like it was his first time ever seeing a sold show. Vanity, Eliana and Monique all screech next to me and I can fully understand why, except Vanity seemed to be looking back at the drummer than anywhere else on stage.

His jaw was sharp like stone, becoming more prominent the most when he opened his mouth to scream the words. Everything about him was breathtaking, the definition of a rock star. I wish I knew the words, I'd sing along with him if I could but maybe it was better that I free-balled this and got to watch instead. Something about him wanted me to give him my undivided attention for this man tonight. I felt stupid that he was captivating me this much and I barely knew his name.

"Holy shit," I yell out in awe.

"I fucking know.." Vanity shouts back while jumping with the music with her arms up. This catches the lead singer's eye, I stood out like a deer in headlights whenever he sang and everyone around me knew them but me, it was embarrassing but I couldn't be bothered to care.

I look around the venue one last time once the final song comes to end, I almost want to cry out for them to perform again but I knew it was getting late and Moni mentions that we have another full day of exploring tomorrow and need to sleep. I agree, but I turned my head one last time before an arm wraps around me to break me from my shackles.

"Hobie Brown," Eliana says.

PHEW,, y'all this was meant to be posted days ago but i got so sleepy from surgery and here it is at 4am. anyway,, im trying a new approach with writing and think writing in first person is better. let me know what yall think🤭

dont be a silent reader, i want to hear your feed back !!