"You're not leaving," Annie shakes her head.

"I told you, he doesn't want children."

"Yeah, not now, but he might change his mind if you told him you were pregnant."

Cato left earlier in the morning. The moment the front door shut behind him, Annie burst around the corner from where she was hiding, demanding to know what Cato said to me. I told her what he revealed about our future, about how he loved me, but needed to keep our affairs quiet until he figures things out.

Nothing's louder than having a child with your mistress.

Tears sting my eyes, and I finally let them fall openly. "I can't stay here. Cato's better off not knowing that I'm pregnant. If he knows about the child, he'll give up everything."

"And if you leave, he'll be broken."

It's another result I don't want to happen.

Cato will be heartbroken. I know he will, and one day, he'll replace our love with someone else. It will break me to watch that love become a public spectacle. The camera loves him and his romances, but I've learned that he longs to get away from it, to escape the life of stardom his astronaut career built for him.

"Don't you think I want to stay?" I breathe. "I love him. I always have, but I can't hurt him. I've wanted him for so long just to realize that loving him will never work."

"It can!" Annie retorts.

"Not like this. This isn't what he wants."

I hold my stomach as my best friend shakes her head without end. Will I truly be able to give this child a better life outside of the estate without their father nearby? Or will their existence be a looming reminder of Cato and I's separate statuses? Our reputations matter so much, and his can't lie in shambles next to my own.

This fight for our child will be mine, and I will do everything in my power to keep standing on two feet.

"I'm going," I retort, my voice breaking at the seams. "That's final."

Another pair of footsteps enters into Cato's foyer, and it's then I catch the ancient eyes of Clotilde staring back at me.

"And where would you be going?"

Clotilde. She doesn't know about the pregnancy, and she can't. If she knew that I was pregnant with Cato's child, she'd be smacking so much sense into me and Cato. She'd want me to stay at the estate.

I keep my mouth shut.

"She's pregnant," Annie blurts.

I dart my attention over to Annie, my heart pounding in my chest. I love her to pieces, but bloody hell, does she have to tell Clotilde my deepest secret? It's not her news to deliver, whether I wanted it out in the open or not.

Clotilde reaches for my arm. "Is this true, dear?"

My world falls apart around me with every tear that sheds down my cheek.

"I can't stay here. He can't know—"

"Slow down a bit and take a deep breath," Clotilde urges as waves of panic swell within my chest. "It's not the first time I've had a servant girl come to me with a pregnancy."

I give her an odd look. "They're not all... Cato's, are they?"

She laughs at this. "No, none are, but I have a feeling yours belongs to that boy."

That boy. Cato Leveque.

"She wants to leave here," Annie fills in, moving her hands to her hips. "I told her she's so damn crazy for even thinking that."

I meet Clotilde's eyes. "You know what will happen if I stay here, don't you? Cato's life could fall apart before my eyes, and I don't want it to be my fault."

"You know he loves you," the old woman advises. "He'd stay, regardless of what happens between you."

"He'd lose everything if the public finds out that he's in love with the whore's daughter," I sigh, exhaling the pieces of my ever breaking heart. "I can't be the reason for his demise."

"Does Cato know of the child?"

I shake my head.

"And do you truly think leaving here would be best for you?"

How can I even be certain? It's only been a week since I learned I was pregnant, and everything keeps revolving and spiraling and gods, I feel like I'm constantly falling. I haven't had time to even make room for any checkups or what will happen beyond Cato's estate.

"It's best for him, not for me," I run a hand over my stomach. I'm protecting Cato from losing what he truly loves, his first love of the heavens and stars. I wish I could fit better into his luxurious picture for his life, because if he loses this, I'm afraid I'll lose him later on.

Clotilde rubs my shoulder. She won't admit it with her voice, knowing that whatever happens to me is my ultimate choice. Yet, I can tell she wants me to stay here.

"I need to go," I say to the old woman. "I can't have him risk everything for me."

"Will you be alright on your own out there?" she questions.

"I'll have to be."

For the first time ever, I'll have to find my own way to escape my mother's reputation. I have to build a life piece by piece the way I want it to be, not for myself but for my child. For years I've leaned against the hospitality of a greater wealth. Evelyn was a godsend from heaven itself that I never knew I needed. Thomas showed me the opportunities for low class beings like myself, even in a city where there's no room left for us. Cato allowed me to see the world that I knew exists beyond the one I know to see the beauty in our broken surroundings.

Maybe, just maybe, I'll be okay.

I rub my stomach's nonexistent bump. We'll be okay.

"I'll leave tonight before his return," I announce to Annie and Clotilde. "Who knows when he'll come back, or if he'll come back early. It's now or never."

The day passes, and I gather my few possessions from Cato's bedroom and put them in a suitcase. Clotilde keeps making her rounds to checkup on me, before eventually helping me altogether. Annie leaves to do her chores, but I promised I'd find her before I run off.

Clotilde hands me an envelope. "It's not much, but I need to know that you're safe out there."

I stare down at the wrinkled package. It's filled with more than just a letter.

"There's some extra funding in there to get you off your feet. The address inside leads you to my brother's inn. He runs one on the far edge of New Aberdeen. I've warned him that you'd be arriving soon and to let you rent out a room until you find an apartment."

I understand why Cato keeps Clotilde around. She's the human epitome of a hug. Warm, comfortable, secure. I only wish I'd met such a woman sooner.

"How can I repay you for this?"

"You can repay me by letting me visit your child once they're born," she smiles with a cheeky wrinkled smile. "I'll be ready to spoil them silly."

When the sun meets the horizon and settles below it, I find myself standing on the steps to Cato's estate. Behind me, Clotilde and Annie stand, their eyes heavy as they observe me and my suitcase.

Months ago, I still remained at the Leveque estate. I didn't think Cato and I would ever mesh again, but then he returned and our stars aligned. I fell in love with another man that wasn't him, but then I found my first ever love again.

Cato.

I'll always love you, my Cato. When we're together, we create something more beautiful than any supernova or planet you'll see. Our child will be just as beautiful, more wondrous than any galaxy. One day, maybe you'll know. Maybe you'll understand why it had to be this way.

But we live in two different worlds, and although our paths touched, a touch was all it could be.

I love you, Cato, but our star is burning out.

Goodbye, my astronaut.

-----

*sad folk girl music as Maureen leaves the estate*

also, another speedy speed update!

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