Ordered by: conquestofthesomnium

Reviewer: TuesdaysLeftovers

Description: 5/5

The description for this book is exactly what a description should be and is perfectly executed. Not only does it contain a teaser that draws in readers, but it also contains brief character introductions and a short insight into intriguing plot elements that can foster curiosity. All of this plus the fact that it is executed in a very visual writing style makes it a perfect description.

Cover: 2/5

The cover is well made and neat, but the issue lies in the fact that I do not think that it fits with the theme of the story. While it does show a very nice visual representation of two different characters with two different worlds through the use of contrasting colors (in this case, black and white), its implied supernatural and fantasy theme does not really show up in any aspects of the cover itself. This makes it so that the cover could seem possibly misleading to readers as they may expect a book of a different nature at first glance.

A suggestion would be maybe to incorporate the colors that you correlate with each character that you established on the aesthetics chapter. This could really tie in character themes with something that represents them.

Title: 5/5

The title is a simple three word phrase that draws attention as it fosters curiosity. A reader may look at it and ask many questions (such as, What are the worlds mentioned in the title? Or What happens when such worlds cross?”). This is what makes a good title, a phrase that not only draws attention, but also makes readers think.

First Impression: 5/5

When I started reading the first chapter, I was thoroughly impressed. The writing style that you adopted uses quite elevated yet not too obscure vocabulary, and has great use of literary devices. One thing I also noticed that really stuck out to me was that you are really good at integrating introduction to things like character features. This is something that most writers struggle with, yet you managed to do it perfectly.

Readers Interaction: 4/5

(Remember, the amount of readers and how much they interact with the book does not determine anything about the quality of a person’s writing! Reader’s interaction varies from many different things such as the writing style itself or amount of author’s notes among other things.) The book has quite a few comments at places where key points of the plot occur, which prove that your writing is engaging.

Story Plot: 12/15

The plot is intriguing and does not have many clichés in terms of books with fantasy elements, though there are some tropes that are present that were a bit predictable. Since the book is not finished, it is not possible to fully evaluate the plot, but there are some parts of the plot that I can predict are going to happen due to the nature of certain stereotypical tropes (more specifically romance).

Here are some of my notes or questions about the plot in specific areas of the book:
-This was mentioned before, but you are really good at integrating introduction to character features and traits.
-What happened to the police dispatched at Adie’s 911 call? (Ch. 1) She gave her address and everything, so they would have to show up eventually, but they just didn’t.
-I liked the subtle fourth wall poke when Adie mentions that they are not in a fantasy novel. (Ch. 2)
-I find it slightly questionable that Adie trusts Armacres really easily after she overcomes her fear for him. Despite the fact that it is mentioned that she likes to help others like her mother, it is a bit odd that she does not have any doubts at all about Armacres. (Ch. 2)
-If there are terms in Violith that have direct English equivalents (like how ystrale means the sun), why would Cres and the other people of Arta need both words? Maybe it’s just a misunderstanding on my part on how the language works, but I find it weird that the people of Arta would inconvenience themselves by using an extra word.
-Something that a lot of authors struggle with is that specificity should align at all times. If you are going to specifically mention the title of the movie or the name of the country they are in, then also name book titles and the name of the store, for example.
-Chapter one implies that Adie does not like Dave at all and that they have a rivalry as acquaintances, but as the book goes on, it seems that they are close friends which was a bit confusing. Maybe make their relationship a bit clearer and consistent.
-How did Joseph get Adie’s address? (Ch. 6)
-How does Gian know that Adie is an ace? (Ch. 7) (How does he know that terminology when I believe it was established that that is a term exclusive to people at her school?)
-Do the people of Arta not question Cres and Adie’s earthly fashion? (Ch. 14)
-I like the little detail that Armacres picked up some earthly slang and uses it (as quiet as a mouse, throw pillows) (Ch. 15) This is like a little subtle detail to reflect the fact that his time spent on earth impacted him.

Plot Twist: 4/10

The main plot twist in the book so far was that David was actually working with the guys that were trying to gouge Cres’ eyes out. This plot twist was very sudden, almost too sudden. It was so sudden that it’s not very believable. From what I recall, there is absolutely no foreshadowing or even subtle hints to show that he thought this way so his betrayal seems almost like an afterthought added to make the plot more interesting. (Ch. 13)

Grammar: 9/10

The grammar is mostly good, yet there are a few instances where there are typos which can easily be fixed.

Emotions and Feel: 10/10

You are a very talented writer and are able to convey certain tones through your use of vocabulary and literary devices perfectly.

Character Development: 8/10

From the book written so far, the characters established are obviously not fully developed or changed. Despite this, the characters are very well explored and have unique and not basic backstories and personalities.

Way of Writing: 9/10

I really enjoy your use of vocabulary and literary devices, and your use of simple, descriptive tone is really well-done, as that is something that is surprisingly hard to master. You perfectly balance plot driving scenes with non plot-driving scenes, character interactions, thoughts and emotions of such characters, and much more. It is very well done.

Overall: 8/10

This book is quite intriguing, and as a sucker for fantasy, I really enjoyed it. Even after this review, I think I’ll actually continue reading it if you put out more updates. You should be proud of yourself, you’re very talented!

Total 81/100

If you have any questions, need clarifications, or elaborations about what I wrote here in this review, feel free to ping me (@TuesdaysLeftovers) in a comment and ask, I’ll try to answer as soon as possible. Thank you and have a nice day!