Reviewer: May SeokJins_Yeonin_rh

•Book: Vengeance||(TAEKOOK)

Author: btsachu

Dᴇsᴄʀɪᴘᴛɪᴏɴ: 4/5

It doesn't reveal the plot much except what it's about. You should use the first "dialogue" as a quote instead of a dialogue or you can write it after that small description [aka "what happens…" this line] other than that  the description isn't eye-catching and doesn't make you wanna read the book because you kept on repeating the word lie (through those dialogues) and it makes it lose its essence, try to use less dialogues or you can write a small interesting scene. Descriptions don't need to be really big, it can be short but needs to be catchy. 

Cᴏᴠᴇʀ: 1/5 

It's simple and plain, not eye-catching at all. What you can do is use manip edits like cut outs of the members and paste it nicely, make sure the pictures are of the same size, but the theme is nice. Font choice is okay but better fonts can be used, maybe try serif? Also you repeated the title, which is okay don't worry, the color choice was not good. It doesn't allow you to see the title properly. 

Tɪᴛʟᴇ: 2/5

Its a common title, like everyone uses it. Find some synonyms or similes, metaphors, etc. to match the word "vengeance". 

Fɪʀsᴛ Iᴍᴘʀᴇssɪᴏɴ: 1/5

Nothing caught my eye except the cover but then as I looked at it more carefully, even the cover didn't look appealing anymore. 

Rᴇᴀᴅᴇʀs Iɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ: 10/10

Positive and a lot for someone who just started writing a new book.

Sᴛᴏʀʏ Pʟᴏᴛ: 8/10

Honestly, it looks intriguing. I hope you will be able to develop a good ploy by the end of the book. 

Pʟᴏᴛ Tᴡɪsᴛ: 7/10 

That small twist was unexpected but you revealed it way too early. You should have made the flow better before you decided to tell that twist. I hope you have more prepared though. 

Gʀᴀᴍᴍᴀʀ: 5/10

The tenses are mixed up. It looked like you tried to not mix them up but let me tell you failed miserably because now the sentences don't make sense properly like here "Hoseok spoke calmly and loudly enough to hear the person opposite and jungkook swear he heard a 'game over' signal in his head." There are many things wrong with this sentence, the structure is not correct and the tense of the verbs, so the correct one would be "Hoseok's voice was calm but loud enough for the person on the other side of the door to hear him. 

Jungkook swore he heard a 'game over' signal in his head."

Then in a dialogue you wrote "Jungkook replied" and then after a few sentences later wrote "Jungkook replies". See? Your tenses are mixed up, use past tense only because that is easy to follow. 

Then some words were added which were not actually necessary like this part “Wake up, baby, it is time now to get up,” here the "now" is not needed. Other than that your punctuations are good except that you misused commas and full-stops in some places like here '"Hello Mr.Jung." Says Lily with her usual smile.' before speech marks it should have been a comma and it should be "said" since the sentence before that was "said". Your tenses are mixed all over the place. 

"You and I" is how you should write, not "I and you" It's improper English. First person is always mentioned after second/third person, keep that in mind. A little bit of capitalisation problem here and there, other than you are good. You use too many pronouns, cut it down by using commas and conjunctions. 

Eᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴs Aɴᴅ Fᴇᴇʟ: 2/10

The interactions, I found them cute but no emotions other than that. I couldn't feel the bond between Hoseok and Jungkook properly either. Use more descriptions on how they behave when in each other's presence. Jiwoo started crying and I don't know Hoseok's actions make no sense, he doesn't look like he's calming or anything. You have to work on your emotions, a lot. 

Cʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ Dᴇᴠᴇʟᴏᴘᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ: 6/10 

I like the characters, they are cute and all. Its hard to understand them due to the lack of emotions and good grammar so work on it. 

Wᴀʏ Oғ Wʀɪᴛɪɴɢ: 4/10

I like the way you write but you are also not descriptive at all. Not every reader uses internet to read books and now they don’t do that even more now because of the ads so if you don’t describe your surroundings and everything then it might make them not want to read your book. Start with simple adjectives and then proceed to bigger and fancier words, not everyone is good at it but you need to try at least.

Oᴠᴇʀᴀʟʟ: 6/10 

The kid calling their dad “baby” is a bit weird and I don't know, makes me uncomfortable to read or maybe because no one actually used it like this that's why I'm not used to it, nevertheless I wanted my opinion made here. I had good feelings about this book so if you make these small changes, it would be more enjoyable to read. You change POVs way too much, try to stick to one POV per chapter or use 3rd POV. Honestly I'm enjoying the plot but the continuous lack of emotions and good grammar is a huge turn off so work on that. 

𝐓𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐥: 56/100

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