Reviewer: SeokJins_Yeonin_rh

Book: Unfair Life || KTH~

Author: tae_is_ma_brother

Description: 4/5

It's catchy and it does make me curious but please keep in mind the capitalisation and also write your achievements after keeping a big gap after the summary because you used the sparkles emoji, it makes the summary/book lose the sad impact on the readers. 

Cover: 2/5 

It matches with the plot and even though it's simple and a bit boring/plain, readers who are looking for tragic/angsty books will attract them. The font color is not appropriate though, avoid using yellow and orange colors, maybe go for grey or white but then again those colors won't go with this font so use cursive then. There is no author's name as well which is one of the things a book cover should have. 

Title: 3.5/5

It's a unique title but it's not fancy and attractive. Search up some words for "unfair" and use those synonyms. Choose a fancy wording that will catch attention. 

First Impression: 4/5

I, honestly, avoid tragic books as much as I can but the cover, title and blurb, they all did catch my attention at first glance. As I gave more importance to the cover, the more I looked at it, the more "not having an author name on the cover" bothered me. 

Readers Interaction: 8/10

Around 24 comments per chapter. It's good, maybe if the book is more exposed then you will get more readers. Remember to interact with everyone. 

Story Plot: 9/10

This plot is dark, from what I concluded in the prologue chapter and I am enjoying this plot. You change POVs way too much, please avoid that. 

Plot Twist: 6/10 

I'll rate it low for now because I felt like I could see every twist aka it was predictable but as it is still ongoing, I can't rate it any less as I am hoping you have some unique twists planned. 

Grammar: 4/10

Your grammar is almost good but does need improvement, especially punctuation. You even misspelled some words like 'trail' instead of 'trial' and 'Twilit' instead of 'twilight' or you can write 'sunrise' here, which is more appropriate and 'blackout' instead of 'went black' and many more. 

Always write in words when you write the time like 'six in the morning'. Keep the narration and her thoughts/actions in different paragraphs or else you won't be able to express the emotions you wanted to express properly. Capitalisation is not proper either. You will always know when to use a comma because a comma gives a slight pause to a sentence and when actually reading a sentence you will have a feeling that 'yes, this needs a comma right here'. Now don't give too many commas. Don't use informal words like "can't" "won't" in narration, always use them in dialogues only. Don't use too much I's as well, try to join the sentences or write in a different form. Don't use exclamation marks so many times, it's only used when you are shocked or annoyed/irritated or extremely happy. 

You know what to write but when you go to write, you mess up like here 'She always sat on a bench which is at the corner but it gives the beautiful view of the park, like a perfect scenery' in this sentence, both the sentences before and after 'but' are positive sentences thus you should not have used 'but', 'and' should have been used. You even changed tenses here, her mom used to do that so it dhould have been 'was' instead of 'is', in conclusion the sentence was supposed to be 'She always sat on the bench that was at the corner and it gave a nice view of the of the park, it was a beautiful scenery.' I used almost the same words as you but I expressed it in a different style, you have to just improve there, that's all. 

Emotions and Feels: 0/10

I could not…I did not feel a single emotion and that's because of your writing style. 

Character Development: 8/10 

The female character sounds strong and I like that and the male character sounds weak which is understandable I guess...

Way Of Writing: 1/10

It's simple but you don't describe anything at all. The sounds, the scenes, everything. You need to at least describe a little bit instead of writing like this *thunder* *light*. It's completely unacceptable in the English writing rules so avoid that. 'You can't feel black dots, you can see black dots in your vision'. You mentioned 'Y/N' s dad used to come home drunk every night after he had a loss in his business' but then in the next paragraph the sentence structure was wrong, it should have been 'And that night, he came home drunk again but that time, it was different…that night, I lost everything and mostly importantly a piece of me, a part of me' Now see here I put so much importance in her mum and readers will be able to at least feel 70% of it. You never showed how much she cared—you don't have to always show scenes, you can write your words in such a way, in present tense, that readers can feel it—about her mother so readers can't relate with your character. You don't need to write his conversation with his heart in plays. Just write it in normal italics, it's understandable but it doesn't look bad like this but the sudden play in the middle after you used dialogues, looks unappealing so avoid that. 

Overall: 5/10 

Even with the continuous lackings, the story is good but that doesn't mean you won't improve those points I mentioned above just because it was nice to read. The plot was attractive to me the most and the characters are okay as well. I would strongly suggest reading books with really good grammar and writing then you can have an idea as to what to write because I have seen some words which are the homonyms of the words you wanna write/mean, doesn't matter if it is ff or not, just read 'em. It looks like you give a small preview of the chapter at first before you write the whole thing, well if you do do so then write that preview in italics and write the time instead of writing "In morning" which is wrong grammar here as well, should be "In the morning" or "Morning <time>" 

It doesn't matter how much you got, but what matters is that you did not get discouraged from this and you are passionate enough to improve and strive for success. Take this review positively and learn to take criticism cuz then you will be able to improve. 

Hope my review was helpful! If you have any queries, feel free to drop it in the comments section and I'll check back to answer you. 

Total: 54.5/100

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