Reviewer : Ellyz (KsJinz)

Book : Serendipity
 
Author : ZeeAline_

Description : (2/5)
➼ For me, the description is not really intriguing. It’s just like a short description of a plot. A description is to make your reader attracted to your story but it doesn’t mean to give away half of your plot just like that. Not to mention, it lacked the most important thing which is the mysterious element. Try to shorten it and make it more mysterious so your readers will be more attracted to your story.

Title : (1/5)
➼ In my opinion, the title isn’t suitable for the storyline. The plot doesn’t match with it and it’s not unique either. Not to mention, it’s an overused title and it doesn’t attract me at all. Besides, Serendipity is one of Jimin’s solo songs so I don’t get why you put it as the title. I recommend you change it.

Cover : (1/5)
➼ First of all, your cover is messy, very messy! The colour scheme matches with each other and the theme matches too, but it has too many unnecessary elements. The font you used isn’t that attractive and it doesn’t match with the cover book. Change the font and change the picture used to an attractive one. Maybe, check out some graphic shops.

First Impression : (1/5)
➼ My first impression of this story isn’t a good one. From the title, cover book and description, it’s almost like more than a story that has nothing. The title, the cover and the description, it doesn’t have enough uniqueness to attract me. It feels like when you see a book with the same title over and over again until you already can predict the plot.

Reader Interaction : (3/10)
➼ Based on my observation, the readers of the story mostly are silent. They don’t comment on the plot nor character. There are only 2 chapters that have some comments. I hope you can make the story more interesting to raise this up.

Story Plot : (2/10)
➼ Not gonna lie, the plot is an overused and cliche one. Someone with a higher status meets with a mysterious traveller. This plot can be seen almost everywhere on Wattpad. It’s just the concept will be different. Use some literary devices because they can make a cliche plot interesting.

Plot Twist : (3/10)
➼ As this story is still ongoing, there is no plot twist in this story so far. Seeing that it’s an interesting, action novel, I bet there will be a plot twist and I do hope there will be.

Grammar : (8/10)
➼ In this story, the grammar is “almost” perfect but unfortunately, it’s not. There are some mistakes that you keep doing. I hope you’ll fix them.

The comma and period are used in dialogue tags, but there are differences between them. Don’t be confused with commas and periods. A comma is used in dialogue tags either when the dialogue is before the dialogue tags or when the dialogue isn’t fully complete. For example:

{ “I’m in love with her,” She muttered. } or { “Wait, I need a talk with Seoha,” He stops before turning to me, “Tell mom that I love her!” }

For periods, either when the sentence is complete or the dialogue tag is placed before the dialogue. { Himari raised her hand, “I want to answer it, Miss Sakura.” } or { “I don’t know”. }

Emotions and Feels : (8/10)
➼ You did pretty well in this category. The character’s emotion is really realistic. As if that it was me who was feeling it. It is really good though, I don’t feel it anytime. When you’re writing someone’s emotions, insert yourself and your emotions into the character so it’ll be realistic.

Character Development : (2/10)
➼ So far into the story, there is no character development. As this story is still ongoing, I doubt that there are any in the story currently. I do hope that you add these elements so your reader will be more attracted to the story. 

Way of Writing : (5/10)
➼ I must say that your writing is really messy. I have trouble reading the dialogue. Try writing it one by one, don’t write the dialogue at the same time because that’s just gonna be messy. However, your writing is descriptive. Keep it up!

Overall (6/10)

Total (42/100)

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