Ordered by: rabisworld02

Reviewer by: TuesdaysLeftovers

Description: 3/5

The description peaks interest, yet the bad grammar really dissipates the tone set by the description.

Cover: 4/5

The cover is really good in establishing the tone of the book and the relationship between the two main characters. My only issue would be that some of the text is hard to read.

Title: 1/5

This might be because the book is not finished, but I see absolutely no connection between the plot and what the title implies.

First Impression: 1/5

The first sentence of the first chapter made me really concerned. This and the rest of the chapter made me question the morality of the kind of book this is. This will be elaborated more in the “Story Plot” section.

Readers Interaction: 5/5

(Remember, the amount of readers and how much they interact with the book does not determine anything about the quality of a person’s writing. Reader’s interaction varies from many different things such as the writing style itself or amount of author’s notes among other things.)

This book has quite a significant amount of votes and comments showing that your writing is engaging.

Story Plot: 4/15

The plot of this book is very questionable in its morality and what seems to be the ethics and presumably glorification of pedophilia (more on that after my main notes). Even ignoring that, the plot is confusing and certain aspects are not written very well.

Here are some of my notes or questions about the plot in specific areas of the book:
-The mother’s physical description is very out of place and forced, and was not integrated well. (Ch. 1)
-I find it very interesting that a non-traditional same-sex marriage was planned out by Taehyung’s grandpa even before he knew of either child’s sexuality, and how he did that despite being in a heteronormative world that was far more conservative sixteen years ago in an already conservative country like South Korea (by what it sounds like, I’m assuming it takes place in South Korea). (Ch. 1) This seems like a whole lot of plot convenience.
-It is kind of strange how Taehyung very clearly is uncomfortable with the idea of marrying Jungkook in the first chapter, yet in chapter three it seems that none of those feelings exist anymore.
-Why did Taehyung’s car change model and brand completely in between chapters 3 and 4.
-Doctors can not determine what a person is allergic to unless they have done something like a skin prick test which takes hours. There is no way for a doctor to determine what someone is allergic to just by examination unless they have eaten only literally one thing in the past few hours. (Ch. 5)

Now, I will touch on some of my issues with the morality of this book. I want to disclaim this by saying I am absolutely not trying to paint you, the author, as a bad person. That is not my intention at all, and my intention is simply to educate you and offer critique on this aspect of the story. As a reviewer, it is my duty to help others with different aspects of the book, and that is exactly what I am trying to do.
-Immediately, this book establishes that there is going to be a relationship between an adult and a minor in a way that is not legal. Due to this, the book has strange moral issues because many people should know that that is something that is very wrong.
-The fact that it is mentioned that “the papers aren’t illegal until he is 18” (Ch. 1) seems like some excuse to save the morality of the book.
-The fact that you deliberately changed Taehyung and Jungkook’s age gap so that Jungkook is a minor is a bit concerning and questionable in my eyes.
-This might be me reading too much between the lines, but Jungkook’s personality is written very young and childish, which more or less seems to accentuate the fact that he is a minor. This makes me question your intentions.
-Because of all this, it really questions on the nature of the kind of book you are writing.
-What I’m trying to say is not that books should not ever contain immoral or disgusting themes. The problem lies in the fact that the theme of a relationship between an adult and a minor seems to be glorified. Of course, there are books out there that contain such themes, but usually they are condemned whether it be immediately or as some sort of development over the story. I hope that you really consider (if you haven’t already) implementing something like this in the story if you continue, because above all, glorifying such themes is not okay and it is ethically horrible.

Please do not take this in a way of me trying to hinder or hurt you because what I am trying to do is exactly the opposite. I’m trying to help and educate you because this is an issue that shouldn’t be taken lightly. As a reviewer, I care about the people I review for. I really hope you understand.

Plot Twist: 8/10

Due to the fact that the book is not finished, there do not seem to be any plot twists just yet.

Grammar: 3/10

There are a lot of grammatical mistakes to the point that sometimes it is really hard to read and understand what is happening clearly.

Emotions and Feel: 3/10

Due to the grammar, I feel that the emotions are not conveyed very well. The emotions present, on the other hand, are very one-note.

Character Development: 3/10

Because the book is not finished, almost all of the characters have really not developed in a way that is significant. The only character that has developed in some way would be Taehyung’s view of Jungkook, which is not executed very well.

Way Of Writing: 2/10

Due to the grammar and the direct tone, the way it is written is a bit confusing. When also considering the plot and the morality, it only adds to the confusion more.

Overall: 4/10

Overall, the book is quite questionable. I feel like this could be a really interesting plot, but due to the execution and moral issues, it hinders the potential to be good. I hope you can take my advice on the morality of this book as that is an issue that really should be resolved.

Total: 41/100

If you have any questions, need clarifications, or elaborations about what I wrote here in this review, feel free to ping me (@TuesdaysLeftovers) in a comment and ask, I’ll try to answer as soon as possible. Thank you and have a nice day!