Book: Miss brownie

Author: PaboPabo138

Reviewer: _writing_beauty_

Description: ⅖

The description seems good, but you need to add capitals at the starting of the sentence. You've used really many fullstops in the last dialogue. It doesn't look attractive.

Cover: 0/5

The reason I didn't give marks is that your cover is fanart. Someone else has made that. If you've made it then we can make that 2/5, but certainly you haven't made that. It's so far stealing, and you haven't given credit either. Please make the cover of the size that Wattpad allows. You can definitely see, there is space above and below too. Next, the font used is not at all appealing. Then, why would you even use black font on a dark theme and put white background on it? You could've added shadow; it looks way better.

Title: ⅗

The title is good, matches the story's theme, but you need to give space after full stop, and the capital should be added in 'Brownie', you can change that.

First impression: ⅖

The story is actually new, and gives a good impression but the first chapter isn't that catchy as it should be, also it's really short. Trust me, as a reader the first chapter is quite boring. The writing style, using so many punctuation marks looks really bad, so many fullstops, exclamation marks and question marks, it isn't suggested.

Suggestion~

You may edit the chapters, make it quite interesting, read your book yourself. Trust me it helps a lot. Reading our book after publishing tells how stupid sometimes our writing can be.

Reader's interaction: ⅘

The tanned skin readers really seem to have a connection with the main character which is good.

Suggestion~

When you type a comment of a reader, you are not actually replying to the reader, in a comment there is an arrow sign there, you can click on it and reply to the comments, in case you don't know.

Story plot: 8/15

The plot is really new and gives exciting vibes. The only thing is there are 8 chapters but too short, nothing exactly twists didn't happened. So till yet, the story is quite not so exciting.

Grammar: 6/10

The grammar is quite good and understanding. Yet, I decreased marks because of punctuation. I seriously think you need to stop using so much punctuation. In the first paragraph of first chapter itself,

"Aish..... why did I drink so much last night my head going to like exploding Aah......
I can't be late today oh my god!!!!!!!!!!
I hate everything!!!!!!!!!! I hate this fcking country"

You've written it like this, and it's not the way.

"Aish! Why did I drink so much last night? My head feels like it's exploding!"

The sentence written like this seems more attractive. You may change that according to you.

Emotions and feel: 4/10

The reason again is there is nothing actually happening in the story yet, once it does, may increase the emotions and feelings.

Character development: 3/10

From the chapters written so far, none of the characters have shown any character development, so yeah.

Way of writing: 5/10

Your way of writing is good so far, simple and really understanding. That's all that matters to a reader, but as a reviewer it didn't satisfy me that much as it should.

Overall: 7/10

The story is realistic and I liked it, it's really beautiful. Please don't get demotivated by me, please don't. My review is just telling your mistakes so you can improve, don't get hurt by it.

Total: 44/100