Reviewer : Elena LUVB0TIC

Book : Margo Fawn and the Contagious Missing Delirium

Author : Sasha_Samuel

Description: 3/5
To start off with the positive side of things, I enjoy your writing style in the description and the entire story. It was smooth and poetic-like. Complex use of vocabulary clearly showed that you are a skilled author. I was able to grasp the story's plot, and at the same time I want to compliment you for delivering it in an exquisite way.

● ERROR#1
It is very much clear that the story's main character is Margo Fawn, for this reason Margo being the centre of attention in the description is essential. It did focus on her in the first few sentences, but nearing the end there was a subtle mention of other characters which caught me off guard. It would be unusual and out of the blue for a character like Aiden to be introduced with no context what-so-however.

• SUGGESTION #1
If you would like to keep it that way, add a slight description that would correlate and connect Aiden and the other side characters mentioned to Margo Fawn.

Cover: 2/5
The problem that I find with this cover is how it does not relate to the story's plot nor does it match the genre. I picture Margo Fawn as an adventure/fantasy genre book, whilst the book cover is not giving me a good impression. Simple may be best sometimes, but in this case there is nothing from the cover that stands out for me. The background is plain and dull, and the font used does not give me fantasy/adventure vibes. It will be better if you change the book cover and replace the dull colors with more vibrant ones. Add a face claim to represent Margo Fawn, and use bold fonts.

Title: 2/5
This title is simply too long, why are long titles considered a problem? It is because long titles are harder for the readers to keep in mind. During a first impression, a book needs to have a title that will permanently be tattooed inside their minds. If a title is too complicated or too long, the readers could forget it easily after their first read. Continuing, you also based the title of simply the disease mentioned in the story, thus refraining the chance for it to be called special and unique, as it is something the readers could easily point out from reading the first few chapters . There are a million other words out there that could be a better fit.

First impression: 3/5
It was the blurb that truly impressed me, since it showcases your ability as a writer. Shortly, the blurb was the best part of the three components that would create an impactful first impression(title, blurb, book cover). As for the book cover and title, there are some things to fix. Overall, it was a decent first impression.

Readers Interaction: 5/5
I scanned quickly through this book and judging by the ratio of readers to votes and comments, you have active readers that are willing to participate and voice out their opinions. Eventually, it will decrease as the story goes but I still sensed some response which is wonderful!

Story plot: 13/15
What makes this plot unique is the amount of events/conflicts occurring in the characters' lives. This is a smart strategy, since with more conflicts there is more room/chance for it to differ from other books out there. I have read books and watched movies about contagious disease infecting a population of people, but again going back to the very first point I made, the multiple events occuring at the same time makes it unique. What is interesting here is also the mention of ghouls(mythical creatures) and several other encounters of PSB in the story. It is rare to see infectious diseases and mythical creatures being present in the same universe, or at least for me your book is the first.

Plot twist : 13/15

Your plot twists gave me headache, a good type of headache actually. They kept me anxious and gave me slow burn as to what will happen next. Good job done in this factor. This is the true technique to keep your readers on bay and explode the unexpected turns.

Grammar: 7/10
None of the tenses are mixed together, there are only a few issues with punctuations, some areas need commas to give a break. It surprises and wows me at how advanced your use of vocabulary and grammar is. Due to this skill of yours, my experience was on the next level. I have also noticed no typos, splendid! That is one thing I have encountered in most books, this indicates that you paid a good amount of attention to your work!

•ERROR #1
Right off the bat I saw the wrong use of punctuation in your dialogues. Remember, when a dialogue is followed by an action tag, end it with a comma and not a period. After the action tag, or right before the speechmark there need to be a comma too.

Ex:

"It was Margo, " Fiona's dainty voice came up.

•SUGGESTION #1
Your story contains lengthy paragraphs which would not be in the favour of most readers who prefer reading medium or short length paragraphs. Personally, I have no problem with long paragraphs although I would rather read a story that could sum it up in a more efficient and shorter way. Just an advice in the future when you start to write another book, consider the length of a chapter. Also, make sure to add a space or press enter automatically after a dialogue is uttered, the view of sentences jumbled up together after a dialogue makes it difficult to read.

•SUGGESTION #2
CONMISDUM may be a term that is vital to the story, since it revolves around it, though I recommend coming up with a better idea or way to mention it without the need to bring up the word every time. Repetition is a tool you can use to emphasize or state a bold fact, but it is better to use in a less frequent manner.

Emotions and Feel: 9/10

I would definitely lie if I said that there were no chills running down my spine as I approached the scene where Margo entered Auroville villa. Your style of writing combined with the flawless use of vocabulary, produced a tense adrenaline rushing within me. What is great about the writing style you chose, is how descriptive and clear everything seemed to appear in the mind, you express things in a unique and out-of-the-world way; it almost reminds me of professional and highly skilled authors I adore. I could feel in my gut each of the character's fears, and thoughts.

Character development : 6/10

I find special character development in there. But what irritated me or you can say gave me a little bit annoying bibe was that the pace is really slow and in my perspective, the slow pace makes the plot boring and details more them enough can make the reader leave the story. But it was my perspective. Your plot is really good and the execution made it super excited and mysterious. The character's development and building throughout the story is seen but the pace was slow. Which can be concluded as to perfect because the plot was explained in details therefore the pace of character's building matched the story line perfectly.

Way of writing: 9/10
Bravo on this one! your writing style casts me inside the universe Margo and her friends are living in. There was even a moment when I could clearly envision the PSB and Margo's vision of them. It genuinely scared me because I was alone in a room. The level of vocabulary is just in a league of its own, there were some words that could never seem to appear in my mind when I think of a situation to describe, yet you have used them perfectly and applied it into the story. With just a little bit of punctuation change and a comma here and there (especially before an and) it would make this a ten out of ten! (ok that actually rhymes)

Overall : 8/10
To be honest, this would not be a book you will find lying in my reading list, and I was a bit sceptical about reviewing it at first. What I discovered in the end though, was a pure masterpiece! I did not read through the whole story( I have to apologize for that, there is a limited time for me to read and complete a review), but I will definitely recommend it to those who are interested in these types of stories. Reaching the very end of this review, Elena would like to thank you for trusting me as a reviewer, hoping that my service will help you with upcoming books !

Total : 70/100

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