Reviewer: Semi KeonMin_X

Book: Dawn Of Us

Author: Jae_for_Jungkook

Description: 3/5

Description was okay but could’ve been better. The texts doesn’t seem to have the words in the right order. After the first word you have said, “The lights turned on.” The full stop you have used doesn’t fit there. You could’ve used ‘Then’ instead of a coma rather than using a full stop . Also “Well here I am, what are your other two wishes?” That sentence seemed wrong. Maybe “Well here I am. So, what are your other two wishes?” I also like to suggest that you could’ve made that a bit more descriptive about that lights turning on and that feeling of his hold on her. But I have to say that the part of conversation you have chosen to description was indeed intriguing

Cover:3/5

Cover could’ve been better. The background and the texts just didn’t seem as if they went together well. Also I didn’t see the name of the author on the cover which is a loss. Maybe you can add a part of description and the author's name below the cover with another font, the cover might look much better. Another thing is that the picture you have used doesn’t seem as if it blended so well with the background. You can always take help from a graphic shop as the cover is very important when attracting readers or you just try doing as I said :)

Title:4/ 5

‘Dawn of us’ is a bit of a common name but not that much. It does seem to match the story but maybe you can try thinking of a much more catchy one? I don’t say the change of the name is a must but it would be much more interesting and intriguing to read if it were unique, Uhm how to say..attractive for the reader to read.

First impression:3/ 5

Well personally I think about the cover secondly because reading in wattpad taught me that good books sometimes do not have all those catchy covers though the plot is interesting. But the description increased my curiosity to read. However you could make a much more stronger first impression on your readers by having a pretty cover and a catchy name to go with it.

Readers Interaction:09/ 10

I saw a very story reader interaction as there were at least ten+ comments in every chapter. Having a good reader interaction is great so yours is good!

Story plot: 07/10

Plot was indeed started off with a catchy scene of a character's death. However things escalated a bit faster in my opinion. Though I think it made it a bit more interesting to read, it could’ve been more descriptive as I mentioned earlier too. But the girl being a lawyer was interesting and already having a boyfriend and the story being kim Taehyung fanfiction is literally the tea in our language lmao. I actually enjoyed seeing the girl seeing the other as an enemy but the story plot could be more strong. Though lighter seemed fun too. (For some readers)

plot twist: 05/10

Still in chapter seventeen so hard to comment on it yet. The story was going well so far so I expect there would be much more interesting plot twists in future.

Grammar : 08/10

There were mistakes but not so often. The sequence of your words doesn’t seem to match the normal English way of writing. It was a bit as if you were translating from another language but it was not that prominent though, I only noticed in fewer places.  “He looked at my eyes abruptly. He smirked” I found this and I think it would be better if it was “He looked at my eyes abruptly, smirking afterwards.” I found instances like this a bit more than rarely. Maybe re-reading or typing your story in google docs first would help in that.

Emotions and feel: 07/10

Emotions were there but if there was anything that lacked even a little bit in your story, it should be emotions because it wasn’t present much. I don’t say you haven’t expressed emotions but the expression of emotions of the characters could’ve been better. Emotions is what that keeps a reader attached to a book till end so it’s very important.

character development: 08/10

Though the character development was prominent in the female lead the most, others also had but not that visible. Probably because your story hasn’t gotten much far yet and it’s still hard to comment on it. I’m pretty sure when the story flows much further, characters would have very interesting developments and changes.

Way of writing : 08/10

The vocabulary was okay but it could’ve been more catchy. As I mentioned earlier in some instances I couldn't help but to notice that the choice of words you use seemed as if they could’ve been better. Also description of some events could be much better because giving a good imagery to the readers on events in a book is very important. The more it seemed realistic the more readers want to keep reading. So I think you can try to describe a bit more and try increasing your vocabulary. I hope you won’t be offended and just take it as a suggestion and give it a thought of your own.

Overall : 08/10

Overall an interesting story with a strong female lead! Liked reading and the changes in cover and writing style could be better but you are already doing good! Good luck on finishing the book.

Total: 73/100

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