Reviewer : RabisRubie

Book: Chromo_iris

Author: RainbowChaser48

Blurb: ⅗

Truth to be said, the fact that it was written in one paragraph didn't put a good impression on me. You should take the blurb lightly instead of using long sentences and long paragraphs. Or you can divide your current blurb into a few lines. It will look good instead of only one paragraph. You have a few mistakes there as well,  like in the first, you wrote the name Gravity. And started the next line the very next to it. I suggest you keep the next sentence in the next line to make it better. 

Title: ⅖

First of all, this is a unique title. I had not seen any book with this one. However, the purpose of using this phrased title is still unknown, at least to me. Second, it is a bit hard to understand the meaning behind the title. I had to google the meaning in order to understand it and understand its meaning. I personally think you should change the title and keep it something understandable to everyone. Here are a few suggestion if you consider them: 

1- Arcane
2- The secrets buried
3- Strings of fate

Cover: ⅖

It matches with the theme of the story as it has a dark theme as well. But I don't think it is catchy enough, as no specific effort is being pulled on the cover. I think you can change it and make a cover with different colored eyes and add a super power element or a wolf's shadow behind as it is mentioned in the story as well. 

First impression: ⅖

To be honest, the start was a blunt one. I was confused as to what's happening. What's the occasion, who is speaking and why. I was unable to digest it all and read ahead with a confused mind to know what's actually happening actually. One more thing, the start should be in the author's POV instead of any other POV. You can change it to characters once you have discussed all about the background scene, the events, the occasion, the happening. 

Reader's interaction: 8/10

I can see your readers interacting with the story. Actually, it is a technique to make your readers interact with the characters you used in your story. I have seen people commenting and sharing their thoughts. 

Plot: 5/10

At first, I personally felt gaps in it. The start was abrupt and for the first few chapters I was confused. I didnt know what's happening and who was who.

 Their intentions, their behaviors, all were unidentified to me. I would suggest you to use your own POV and mainly focus on the background and the explanation of events in the start. It leaves a good impression on the reader. 

At some points, I didn't see the execution of the plot well. It felt blunt and felt out of a sudden without any reason and logic.
 But there is a good thing about it as well. 

 Many have used the theme of werewolves, betrayals, revenge and mainly the abused main lead which is also seen here. In this aspect, I can't say it is a unique plot but the technique you adopted to convey your words, which was to leave the happening around in the imagination of the reader, made it mysterious as well as enjoyable to some extent.   At some times, I felt puzzled and confused. 

To avoid all the lacking points above, you can make notes of each story. First, arrange all the main twists and write them down in key words. Write down all the protagonist and hero as well as antagonist and other characters, arrange their role and write them down. Now comes the main plot, the well executed plot can only be seen when these points mentioned above are completed and worked well. 

Hope you can consider and I hope to see a better version soon. 

Twist: 8/10

At first, I thought it would be a plain story of a character who is abused and heart broken. She will run away and find power somehow and then come back and take revenge. But no, it's not like that. I was expecting that rogue to attack Gravity but instead he knew who she was and asked her to come with him. The turns this story took after this were shocking. You did a good job here. 

Emotions: 4/10

Well let me be honest, I didn't feel emotions. Sometimes, it felt neutral and sometimes I could feel them. What I can say is, your writing was blunt and I felt the pace was too fast to let me feel what is happening and what the characters are feeling. I couldn't know their inner conflicts and the emotions of them, their feelings regarding the situation. You can improve this by doing monolog. Monolog is a technique in which you talk to yourself. You can put yourself in your character's shoes. Speak their dialogues and act naturally as what you would have done if you were really in that situation. It can help you improve. 

Grammar: 8/10

Your grammar is good and you have a firm grip on words. You have un-noticeable mistakes in punctuation which includes using commas and full stops. However, besides this all, you are pretty good with grammar. 

Character development: 4/10

In this factor, I am sorry to say, but except a few mere changes, I don't see any change in either of the characters of the story. I don't see anyone's behavior changing and their behaviors are confusing as well. I still haven't gotten what's on the mind of that head alpha villain. The supposed family of Gravity is not taking Ber side but when she leaves they mourn. Why did the alpha villain kill them? It's so confusing to digest. To make this factor better, the only way is to make notes and do monologues which are suggested above as well. 

Writing style: 5/10

All the points mentioned above affect the story line, the execution of plot as well as the digestion of events for readers. The well executed is also considered as the writing style of the author as how well they managed to give life to the plot and how well they have conveyed the story line. I am sorry to say, but you have a long way to improve and I hope you consider all the points suggested above and next time, let us see the better version. 

Overall: 6/10

Total: 57/100

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