Reviewer : Rabi (rabisworld02)

Book : Alluring mess

Author : AlienboyfriendTae

Blurb:⅖
It surely caught my attention. The dialogues and the scenario you used gave me goosebumps. By reading the dialogues, I already predicted that it is some badass female story. However, there are a lot of grammar and preposition mistakes. Such as:

"Grab your juicy thigh, spreading them open" according to the last phrase and tense use, it should be written as either, "Grabbing your thigh, spreading them open" or "Grab your juicy thigh, spread them open" 

After this, in the last paragraph you made a mistake. "When the fire and storm cross the path" you should have used the 'es' with cross according to the rule. Such as "Cross the path". After this you should use a comma in the last line of your paragraph as well as it would be better if you use past tense here. "Something, none of them wanted in life" 

Title: ⅗
It made me excited. It is catchy and grabbed my attention real quick. After that, when I read the story and took in the theme and plot line, I came to realize that this is well chosen and matches the theme and storyline. It is unique as well.

Cover: ⅖
It is beautiful. Especially the picture you used as a face claim. After that the color contrast did a good job. But I don't think the font style or designer and color are doing justice. They have so much glint and hovering above the cover as a whole. At some point, the face claim can't be seen because of the overwhelming glint and brightness of text. The font is too bright for the theme and the remaining color scheme of the cover. It also feels off. Feels like it is lacking as it looks empty. 

You should use ancient English style with less brighter glint and various colors. You can use a girl's shadow as well but in the same neon color which surrounds jimin in the cover. It catches the attention but I think, improvement will do better..

1st impression: ⅗
If we count it from the moment I read Title, saw the cover and read the blurb then I would be glad to say that it made a good impression on me. The cover did not attract me much nor did it impress me. But still, the title and blurb (even after having a few mistakes) caught my attention. 

The 1st chapter was good. I wanted to know what would happen next. It depends on how the writer has decided to depict his/her scene and characters with dialogues matching the current situation. Some people just write what their mind thinks of and it doesn't make any sense at all.

But your dialogues, character power and  depiction skills really impressed me and soon I found myself landing on the 2nd chapter.

Reader's Interaction: 7/10
As far as I have seen, I saw people commenting and sharing their thoughts. But most of the time, they were simply saying "Hi" to you or talking about themselves. However, they are still interacting with the story and sharing their thoughts on the book from time to time.

Plot:7/10
I have read the book till the last update which you did yesterday. Truth or be said, the plot is different. It is not like some other book. The execution of events and planned up conversation with logic and rhythm in them. But at some point, it felt like you were stretching it without any reason or it didn't feel the same as before. Means to say, I felt there are unnecessary details at some points or moments. The long description, where it makes the book exquisite and unique, makes the reader bored as well. 

Usually, the readers skip this detail and focus more on the conversation and scenes happening between main leads. 

However, your plot is unique. As far as I have read the books, I have never read this type of book before. Except for the long description and less dialogues, I don't have any objection here. 

Twist: 6/10
It's a really good thing to place mysterious cliffhangers, it creates suspense and tension, it excites the readers to find out what happens next. But I don't seem to find any twisting event or happening in the book about which I can say a major turning point or the event which can give this book a 180° turn. However, I think this story has a long way to go. So we still have to wait and see what will happen next or what do you have planned for us. 

Grammar: 4/10
I can't say you are good with grammar neither I can say you are not good. Sometimes, you managed it fully and did a good job. But at some points you made preposition mistakes and spelling mistakes as well. As in prepositions, you overuse commas at some points and in some places, you completely avoid them. 

Emotions: 6/10
 You are fair enough with this factor. But I think you focused on the description of characters, events and background of the story. I found less dialogues. Dialogues are the epitome of the emotions we are carrying. Our dialogues are then one which tell what type of the person we are and what we are feeling. But the dialogues in your book are very much lesser. 

Sometimes, you make them overwhelming. At some points, I felt numb. Means despite the situation being either sad or happy, I couldn't pinpoint what to feel. I felt neutral. 

Character's development: 7/10
First of all, let's discuss the description of the characters, their behaviors, their logic, and their thinking. You focused more on them and have kept your characters in front of us as an open book. 

Even though, sometimes they felt confused and I couldn't tell the meaning behind their deeds and dialogues. At some points, their behavior made me confused but it overcame as I read further. As far as I have seen, I don't find such a noticeable turning point nor do I find any specific development in their characters. But if you read carefully, you can detect the change in their behaviors from the 1st chapter till the last update.

Writing style: 6/10
Your writing style is indeed good. Depiction, execution, grammar, usage of phrases and words, these all affect the story and counts as writing style. As much as I like the way of your depiction and describing the situation, I think you need to focus on dialogues as well. They are good and relevant to the scene but they are so few and at a point I felt like it was a 3rd person story. No dialogues or any character, just the narration of the events and scenes. You really have the potential of being a writer as well as to catch readers in your charms, only a bit of improvement and you will be rocking soon.

Best of luck. 

Overall: 7/10

Total: 62/100

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