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- Reviewer Bun -

Book cover- 0.3/10

All the elements used in the cover didn't go well with the theme of the story. I suggest you redo your cover.

Title- 4/10

The title is relevant for it was a prank call that was the root cause of the happenings. But, it isn't quite creative or unique. Since it's very common, your book might get lost in thousands of stories with the same name. I suggest changing it to something unusual yet attractive.

Description- 10/15

The description is interesting and makes readers want to know more, but I'm disappointed that a paragraph from inside the story was copied and pasted. I was expecting something more thrilling. Also there are several grammatical mistakes. The blurb should be devoid of mistakes, since that determines the first impressions of readers on authors. There was also confusion at the start of the blurb as dialogue tags were missing, making it difficult to identify who was speaking what till the mention of the other person's gender. My suggestion to improve this blurb would be to replace the dialogue with a small yet hooking description.

Storyline- 12/20

The beginning wasn't very interesting since it was just a teenager accidentally called someone who happened to be a rich and influential CEO. But I love how the story progresses in a way no one expects. The moderate pace of the plot is very useful in letting the reader understand the blow of the situation before moving on to the next.

But, many parts of the plot seem illogical. Why would a rich CEO, who is so busy, chatting with a young girl whose job is only to text random people and offend them? Also, it didn't make any sense as to why Jin must continue chatting with her, despite being heavily humiliated by her every time. And why must he hide his identity from her? He could've revealed himself and maybe that could've knocked some sensible and apologetic sense into Sunhee. At least the reason as to why he chose to keep getting insulted and getting his sexuality doubted by a girl could've been made clearer.

Also, some of the things or topics mentioned in the books just don't sit right. Even if Jin were gay, why would his friends tease him for that, when they're depicted as homophobic people? Also, being a male submissive is nothing wrong or degrading. But the way Jin's friends reacted to it was wrong. It would've been better if you had directed that to a preaching against the wrong perception, but it was left unattended, and it seemed offensive.

Characters- 5/10

Sunhee's description of a laid back college girl, who was absolutely done with society treating her like a slut was perfectly executed. Her behavior and actions convinced everyone into believing that she was a tough nut outside, but soft inside.

Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung's characters came off as cute protective friends, which were quite interesting and stable.

But the main lead of the story, Jin's character, wasn't very well executed. Initially, Jin was a rich, distressed, busy and a serious person. He was one who could never take things lightly. But he went totally out of character when he decided to chat to Sunhee, all of a sudden. It's totally unexpected and absurd of him to chat to her, find her funny after time passes, and get close to her. Like an intelligent person, he should've known better than befriending random strangers and sharing a bond with them.

All I can say, he acted out of character, and that spoils the story, making it seem illogical.

Dialogue delivery- 3/15

There were not many dialogues to begin with. The only dialogues that were spoken were between Jin and his friends. And they fail to portray the bond of friendship between Jin and his friends.

Sunhee and the other three boys converse well. Their conversations are quite convincing. The way they talk tells that they are quite young and pure-hearted, and truly care about Sunhee.

One of the major reasons for this score is the typography mistakes you make. They completely mess up the dialogue, changing the whole meaning of the sentence.

Grammar and vocabulary- 5/20

You need some serious help with the grammatical mistakes you make.

Starting with the tenses-

A sentence should always be written in a single tense. The same tense should be used throughout the story so that it makes sense. This is done by keeping all the verbs in the same tense, or in the proper tenses that make the sentence meaningful. Also, a paragraph that is being written at the same time, should have the same tenses. This is horribly confusing, considering that you've used different tenses even in the same sentence sometimes.

For example: "If you're that much bother then why staring?"

Here, the tense of bother is present, and staring is present continuous. It should've been paired with past tense to make it more correct. A comma was also missing.

Here is how the sentence can be rewritten to go with the entire paragraph:

"If you're that bothered, then why stare?"

Next, the typos-

You've made very careless typos and sometimes they actually make another word.

For example: "You should've stopped your father from doing weeds."

Wasn't it supposed to be 'deeds'? I mean, no father would do weed and then make a pact with someone else's father; it's something they do in total senses.

Another one: "I felt what poor workers her go through..."

It sounds absolutely wrong, due to the mistyping of "here" as "her".

And not just these two, but there are several typos in the book similar to this.

Third, your sentence formation-

Your sentence construction is of the beginner level. You need to arrange the words in a specific order to make sense.

"I looked at my phone, good think I have one hours before they come."

Here, the word "thing" is misspelled as "think", "hours" should've been singular, and the comma is misplaced too.

"I smiled as reminisced our conversation"

Shouldn't there be a pronoun between 'as' and 'reminisced'? Here. the pronoun would be 'I' from the character's point of view because they are the one smiling and automatically, it would make more sense if they are the one reminiscing.

Moreover, avoid using Korean words in the book, and when you do, mention their meaning. Don't use too many Korean words either. Just because everyone is a fan of the boys, doesn't mean that they will know the words. Also, you might not want diverse readers who aren't familiar with Korean words left out.

I suggest editing the book and making the changes which I have mentioned.

(Extra note: It's "seggs", not "segg")

Total :: 39.3/100

Strengths and weaknesses ::

Your strength is the ability to turn cliche plots into something new as the story proceeds. I like the way the story is becoming something new; the way Jin and Sunhee bond is still old and overused, but their personal problems make it interesting.

Your biggest weakness is the language itself. And typos. Honestly, the typos are horrible, You need to use MS word or some other app to edit these typos. Sites like Grammarly and Gingerly might help. Also, you have to work more on the grammar and the sentence formation. 

little_squishy_bun

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THC