Coraline005

- Reviewer Semi -

Book cover: 9/10

Title: 10/10

Description: 14/15

Story line: 18/20

Characters: 9/10

Dialogue and delivery: 15/15

Grammar and vocabulary: 18/20

Total: 95

Strengths and weaknesses: Well first, I have to say your book is awesome. I really loved it. The first impression was a strength. It really attracted me to read it. The description is perfect, the cover is also eye catching. The title is very interesting too. It was greatly written. The plot is awesome, I read all the chapters even though I am supposed to read five. It really made me attracted. Dialogue is great too, readers can very well understand the dialogues not confusing at all. Characters are very interesting too. 

The only weakness I found was that I think the font of the corpse bride is a bit large? It might be more visible then and what about adding a little bit of scariness? I am not saying this one doesn't suit but I think it might be more suitable if there is some more creepiness. For description I would like to suggest that you should write the description more suitable for the story. because even though it says "Sometimes we let something evil to our house without knowing'' but Jimin's father very much knew what it is even though Jimin didn't knew. Other than that it's a great story. I found some few grammatical mistakes in here and there. Please re edit them. Ah wait the video in chapter 4 says its unavailable. I don't know if its just me. But please check it out because those videos really suit it and its very interesting.

- Reviewer Nana -

Title & Blurb:-

The title is simple but is relevant to the story so any changes wouldn't be necessary, but it would be better if you could add more interesting words like "cadaver bride"

The blurb is not that good. Seems interesting but could use more words, so try adding a glimpse of the most important scene.

I would suggest the author to use "But, this wasn't the case in Jimin's family" Also, the sentence above this one has a grammatical error, which is the use of ellipsis. There should only be three dots/full stops while here you have used many dots.

Cover:-

The cover is attractive but doesn't look relevant to the story, try making it more dark and maybe add more elements that are relevant. The font for the tittle is not clear so I'll suggest you to use another font, maybe a bold one

Plot:-

The plot was good and interesting but I would suggest you to use mind-messer, cliffhanger and more suspense scenes here and there also explain every scene in the best way you can to attract more readers. It was nice reading the story till now and I will be looking forward to read the next chapters. Please do add these since readers might find your book boring if the chapters always end with a non-suspense ending.

Character development:-

The character development was huge in the chapters. The protagonist(Jimin) was a disciplined and quiet boy but as time passed by, he had no fear to be himself. This could have been shown more meticulously, like showing examples of days where he endured it and got the confidence to be himself.

Pace:-

It was a bit fast when the time skipped, I felt like you could add more chapters at the start to describe him meticulously

Induldgement:-

The characters were comprehensive to an extent but I would again like to suggest you to write more about them so that the readers can get to know them well and relate to them.

Grammar:-

-Usage of exclamation mark and double quotation is done without gap so I would request you to fix it in all the chapters.

-Since the some lines don't have dialogue tags, I would suggest to add them so that no one gets confused.

-The usage of full stop is excessive, sometimes it's not needed but is still added. For instance:: He rubbed his hands to provide some friction. It was winter.

Now, instead of the full stop, the author could add "since"

-The usage of ellipsis wasn't properly done, like- "And oh boy...." There should be only 3 dots/full stops

-The author missed some words like "And his baby teeth full on display" This should be "And his baby teeth would be full on display" according to the tense and structuring of the previous sentences. This should be fixed.

-Grammatical mistakes like "lie in the bed" This should be either "Lay on the bed" or "Lie on the bed"

Sense:-

The story made sense till now and I hope it will continue to make. Also like aforementioned, try to write the descriptions meticulously.

Strength- The creativity, storyline and way of imagining a particular person.

Weakness- Writing what you actually want. This can be fixed if you read more books and practice writing smaller things everyday.

Yang_semi

badestbitchhh_

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