[December 23, 2017]

I was standing alone in a dark, cold place. I reached out for anything—I called out for someone…but no one was there to take me out of this darkness—this sadness, until I found someone to hold on to and it's you.

Your hands are warm as I intertwined my fingers to yours. You looked at me with full of love and comfort. You embraced me with the warmth of your voice as you sang softly on my ears.

I thought that would be forever—you smiled at me and I don't know what that means until you turned around and walk away—leaving me back in darkness. I ran towards you but you told me not to. I shook my head and begged for you to stay but you only smiled and stepped away. I called out for your name but you didn't stop as you said the words, "It's not your time yet, my angel, cheer up!"

Tears ran across my cheeks as your voice slowly fade away with the cold wind. I cried knowing not to do…how to break away from this pain? I reached out my hands towards you until you were gone—my light, my all.
___

Jonghyun kept on appearing in my dreams, waking me up in tears. I'm so hurt, oppa. Very hurt💔 but I know in that place you where in now, you're already happy. Free from pain and sadness but even so, we're still holding on to you…for SHINee. I love you💔