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𝑬 𝑽 𝑬 𝑹 𝑮 𝑹 𝑬 𝑬 𝑵
❝ 𝚒 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝, 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚢𝚖 ❞

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ㅤ𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐒𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐍, and May knew it was time to fly back to DC.

But the days between Christmas and the New Year, despite it being a short six days and considered vacation, was stressful. She was determined to master shifting, and with Sam by her side—she considered consulting Jared but the poor boy was just as new to it as she was—she was able to learn how to shift from one form to another with ease. There were still some accidents—like her anger getting the best of her—but overall, it was smooth.

Her training benefitted not just her, but also Jared and the recently turned Paul Lahote, whose anger was worse than hers. Just like she was when she shifted for the first time, he was in disbelief. And this disbelief was quick to turn to anger: anger at the gods, anger at the world, anger at the fact that he's now bound to be someone he never wanted to be.

This caused the two to bond in ways that Sam nor Jared understood. But it was clear that Paul, who was the same age as Jared, was attached to May even before knowing her status as the rightful alpha and as the White Wolf. Unlike Jared who shifted when Sam was the only one in charge and got used to him giving the orders, Paul came into the pack with May as their leader; and despite the fact that Sam is still technically the alpha, he was only loyal to the only female shifter.

Paul may have been a hothead, but May was able to calm him down in ways no one else can. So, the two were often found by each other's side.

However, while May got the hang of shifting, it was spirit traveling that has her stuck.

The first thing she assumed was that traveling only happened in her dreams. But that hypothesis was quickly trashed when she realized that the reason she was able to travel while asleep was because Taha Aki was calling to her spirit, and the only thing she did was follow the call.

So, she concluded that it must be meditation that could help. Every morning—early in the morning given her sleep schedule—she'd go out and head towards the clearing, the wolf she's adopted, now named Remus, following after her heels; he's going through his ankle biter phase so she kept having to gently nudge him away with her feet. They'd stay there for hours, breathing in the scent of evergreen, and listening to the sound of the forest.

It helped her relax, and was helping lead her to a state in which she could feel herself leaving her body. But every time she'd open her eyes, she'd still be stuck in her body. There was improvement, sure, but it wasn't enough.

Her next move was to have meditation sessions right before sleeping. Along with her new-found appreciation for yoga—that, weirdly enough, was recommended by Sam—it helped her relax without the aid of nature. Still, she wasn't as successful as she wanted to be.

By the time she was set to fly back to DC, she still hadn't mastered the skill she knew would aid not just her, but also the pack. Though she was yet to fully embrace her role as the fated alpha, she knew that there was no reason for her not to learn. Especially if it can benefit her too.

May sighed sadly as she knelt on the ground to kiss the nose of the wolf she'd grown to love; the wolf who was currently sat on his hind legs. "I'm gonna miss you," she whispered to him, earning herself a small whine.

The pup, who had grown tremendously in just two weeks, huffed before nuzzling her outstretched hand.

"I know," she cooed. "We'll see each other soon. Just promise me you'll take care of dad while I'm gone, okay?"

"I feel like you'll miss him more than you'll miss us," Paul teased, crossing his arms against his unclothed chest. Like the rest of the boys, he's now become accustomed to wearing nothing but shorts. He and the others were there with her at the clearing, saying goodbye before Sam has to drive her to the airport.

"Most likely," she teased back. Then she let out a heavy breath. "I'm not really excited to go back," she admitted in a whisper that she knew everyone would hear. "I feel like I'm not ready to go back."

"Why?" Jared asked, surprisingly solemn for the first time since she's met him.

"I..." She pursed her lips for a second in thought, before continuing, "I don't know. It's like..." Letting out a groan of frustration over the fact that she couldn't put it into words, she frowned. "I just...it's not like I've completely accepted my place in the pack. I know and understand how important my role is, but my life in DC is still the one I want. My brain and my heart and my soul just isn't working in tandem anymore. Like...like I want to go home but don't know where home is anymore."

Sam shook his head at her, before walking forward and giving her a hug. "Home is where you want it to be. If it's here, if it's DC, if it's both...it's home."

Taking a deep breath through her nose, May nodded before hugging him back. "Easier said than done, I'm afraid."

Paul walked over and joined the group hug. "When do you plan on coming back? Especially with Remus?"

"He can take care of himself," she mumbled. "He's still a wild animal. Just make sure he's still alive."

Jared also joined in on the hug. "That won't be hard. I swear, every time I walk into a forest, he's there to growl at me. Mutt hates me."

"That's 'cause you keep calling him mutt."

May arrived back to her shared apartment with Spencer just in time to welcome him home.

Spencer dropped everything on the floor as soon as he saw May's head of raven hair on their couch. For most people, they would've assumed it was a burglar, or even thought it was a ghost. But because of how long the two have been best friends, he's gotten quite knowledgeable about her physical appearance, brain immediately recognizing the fact that his best friend was home.

Knowing that the team hadn't really received any case that was as heavy as the ones they often get, May knew that Spencer—and the others—just mostly did paperwork while she was gone. And the ever-so-machine-like Spencer Reid—who could finish his pile the fastest—left the office early to spend some quality time alone surrounded by his books.

Now he was hugging his best friend so tightly, practically jumping on her as she sat on the couch. The two tumbled and fell off it, laughing as they landed quite roughly.

"I'm guessing you missed me," she laughed, laying on her back. Even as they fell, Spencer made sure to cushion her head, his hand right underneath it.

His whole body shook as he laughed along, gently removing his hand away before pushing himself to stand, taking her with him. "Was that not obvious enough?" He snorted as he finally hugged her properly.

The two were now in each other's embrace, enjoying the warmth and comfort that they both only feel when they were together. Their bond was strong, and they knew everything about each other...well, almost.

"How was your trip?" Spencer asked, untangling himself from his best friend and bringing the two of them back down on the couch, now sitting properly.

"It was...eventful," May replied, unsure of her wording. The fact that she knew she had to lie to him left a bitter taste in her mouth, and her entire being practically ached to tell him the truth, but she knew it wouldn't be right. "Dad and I are close again, pretty much. Jacob's still a little off but what can I do? I know a part of him still resents me for leaving, but at least we're back on speaking terms. Then..."

"Then?"

"I may have adopted a...dog."

"Really?" Spencer frowned. It was an unusual statement, given that May has exhibited signs of a fear of commitment—that he assumes stemmed from losing her mother so young—and he knew having a dog is just as much of a commitment as any other. And the fact that the dog wasn't here with her... "Where is it?"

"He...is with my dad," May sighed. "I didn't really plan on- on adopting him," she stuttered slightly, "but he kept following me around so I just—I don't know—I thought dad would want the extra company so." She then shrugged before continuing, "I'm not really good at explaining but...they're keeping each other company while I'm gone."

Spencer nodded slowly as if it took him a while to digest her words. But eventually, he shrugged back. "Cool. What's his name?"

"...Remus..."

"Please don't tell me you named him after Lupin."

"...then I won't tell you."

"May, I swear--"

"Don't even," she laughed, lifting her hand up to stop him from ranting any further. "You know what? I actually have a gift for you."

The woman didn't bother to explain any further as she got up and dragged him to her room, holding his hand tightly in hers. Scattered around her floor were her clothes and other stuff that she's yet to rearrange back where they used to be. Spencer cringed a little at the sight, but his attention was quickly swept away when May reached into her duffle bag and pulled out a wooden sculpture of a pack of wolves.

"I want you to have this," she declared, letting go of his hand to push the thing into his chest.

"Uh..."

"A collection of my firsts," she mumbled a little, almost afraid to say it out loud. A lump was forming in her throat at the sight of it in Spencer's hands as he cradled it, remembering the last time she had given it to someone.

Spencer frowned at the sight of her watery eyes. "These were your firsts?"

"Yeah, and, um, I- I had given to my mom."

"May, I can't take this."

"I want you to keep it," she asserted. "Please. We're family, Spence. I love you, and you're important me. I want you to know how true that is by giving this to you."

"But this is...your mom owned this," he weakly rebutted.

"And I know for a fact that she would be happy that this," she pointed at the gift, "is in safe hands."

His lower lip wobbled. "I- I don't know if I deserve this--"

"You're the most qualified, trust me."

That's when he started sniffling, gently placing the wooden sculpture on her bed before hugging her with all his might. "I love you too."

Of course, just a day after she came back, she was immediately called back to the BAU.

May, of course, reported back to Gideon before meeting everyone else. She told him the same lies she told Spencer; that she's okay now, and that there was nothing to worry about. Though he could tell that her temperature still was abnormal, she assured him that she'd been to a doctor and had tests done, only for nothing to show up.

He was skeptical, but didn't really say a word.

Wearing an outfit that gave the illusion of having multiple layers—a green oversized sweater on top of a white shirt and baggy jeans, along with a white beanie and black sneakers—she excitedly went on to greet everyone else in the team.

Since she and Spencer decided to go to Quantico earlier than usual, the only people there at the moment were their superiors, which included Hotch. With a grin, she skipped into his office and knocked on his open door. She quickly greeted him with a wave once he looked up.

"May, you're back," he said, giving her a small smile. Admittedly, he'd missed their spitfire. Youngest in the team but definitely the loudest and most outspoken that, whenever she wasn't around, the team was a lot more mellow. "You better now?"

"Better than ever," she smirked.

Chuckling, he nodded. "Well, we missed you."

"Missed you guys too."

Next one to arrive was JJ, and after her was Elle. The two women were immediately running up to her and before May knew it, she was puffing out air with the force of them colliding with her body. If they noticed her temperature, they didn't say a word.

Elle was the first to point out the fact that she looked visibly more muscular than before. "Woah, you filled out," the brunette admired, touching her bicep with widened eyes as she pulled away. "I thought you were supposed to rest, not hit the gym."

"I didn't hit the gym, thank you," May snorted. "I was, however, helping with the chores and stuff. You know, like chopping wood for the fireplace."

"Ooh," JJ's voice was immediately laced with a teasing tone as she, too, pulled away. "May as a hot lumberjack. I can see it."

Penelope wouldn't Penelope if she weren't wearing her bright colors, and with her blonde hair paired with pink, green, and yellow clothes, she wasn't hard to miss as she bulldozed into the bullpen. But it was the balloons in her right hand and a box of donuts on the other that caught everyone's attention.

As she rushed towards May, she kept repeating, "You're back! You're back! You're back!"

"I'm back," May laughed while pointing at the things Penelope had in her hands. "Why the need for a celebration?"

"Because we missed you and it wasn't the same without you!" Penelope pouted as she placed everything she was holding onto May's desk. "Now, give me some lovin'!"

May laughed again before wrapping her arms around Penelope, who giggled.

"Ooh, you're like a furnace, I love it!" Penelope said, hugging her back. "We need a cuddle session pronto! It's so cold in DC--"

"Who's cuddling May and why isn't me?" Derek cut into the conversation, a smirk on his handsome face that morphed into a genuine smile when he saw his two favorite girls hugging it out in the middle of the bullpen as he walked towards his desk. "If it isn't May Black."

May was still grinning at Penelope, but when Derek called her name, his voice sending shivers down her spine and his signature scent invading her olfactory sense, she couldn't stop herself from looking up and meeting his eyes.

Only then did she feel a sudden feeling overcome her being—like a tidal wave hitting a shore violently—that it nearly knocked her over. She was filled with images of what she could only assume was the future; seeing herself happy, and smiling, in the arms of Derek Morgan. She blinked rapidly, blatantly aware that Derek had already turned away from her, exchanging words with Spencer who had immediately began chastising the older man for flirting with her.

But the outside world didn't seem to matter anymore, and the only thing—only person—tethering her to the earth was Derek Morgan.

Her eyes widened and she quickly turned back to Penelope who hadn't even noticed how the Quileute tensed up and went rigid for a few seconds. May pretended that what happened didn't just happen, beginning to act like her usual self as she listened to the blonde analyst rattling off on what the team was up to while she was gone.

However, there was a storm brewing from within her. Thoughts were running a million miles per second as she tried desperately to make sense of what happened. She thought about the legends, her status as a shifter, when it all became clear: she imprinted on Derek.

When she realized this, all her thoughts vanished, and the only thing left were three words:

Fuck my life.

author's note: heh :D