╭ ⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸ ╮

𝑬 𝑽 𝑬 𝑹 𝑮 𝑹 𝑬 𝑬 𝑵
❝ 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚎! ❞

╰ ⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸⊸ ╯

ㅤ"𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐓."

"Thanks, I know."

"Not what I meant," Derek gave May a look. He was sitting on top of her desk as she sat on her chair, the back of his hand pressed against her forehead. "I mean, you're still burning up. You sure you're ready to go back to the field?"

"Ready," she nodded firmly. "It's just a fever. I have my medicine, my tissues, and," she pulled a surgical mask out of the pocket of her jeans, "a mask."

"What for?"

"To not get anyone else sick, duh," she rolled her eyes. "Y'know what, I'm gonna put it on right now."

A week after the whole ordeal with the LDSK, three cases that came right after the other: first, arresting a man named Carl Arnold who killed families; second in Baltimore, trying to save an undercover cop who was kidnapped and was being remotely tortured by a hitman; and third, in West Texas, a case that put Elle in danger on her train ride. Throughout all this, May was still not better. In fact, her temperature fluctuated dangerously, especially during instances where a member of the team gets put in peril.

An example of which was when Elle was stuck in that train. May was pissed to hell at the fact that she couldn't do anything but wait; she knew, of course, that it was the logical thing to do given the severity of the situation, but something within her kept trying to want to help. It only got worse when they sent Spencer in.

The second she heard that gunshot, she was in the train faster than anyone could've anticipated.

Without a second thought, she'd pulled both Spencer and Elle into her arms, and both didn't hesitate to reciprocate. She barely even glanced at anyone else—though she made sure to send a glare towards the college dropout who kept messing everything up because of how drunk he was—before she assisted them out of there.

Now, she was back in the bullpen, wearing a face mask.

Derek gave her an incredulous look. "That's...unique."

"I'll have you know, it works."

The man had his mouth open, ready to retort, when Gideon cut their conversation short with a clear of his throat. The sound immediately had May straightening her posture and looking at her mentor, who gestured towards his office. Without a word, she followed him.

She waited until he closed the door as she asked, "What's up?"

"Your temperature is what's up," Gideon sighed. "I understand that other than that, you're completely fine. But it is raising concerns."

"Gid, I told you," May rolled her eyes. "I've told everyone. I'm fine. Literally, nothing's wrong."

"You're wearing a mask."

"Just in case!"

"And just in case," he emphasized, "I'm going to put you leave."

"Gid!"

"After the next case, which I have right here," he pointed to the opened folder on his desk. "You ready?"

"Whatever," she joked, walking closer to him and nudging his elbow with hers as she removed her mask. "What's it about?"

"JJ, we need to obviously keep this out of the press for as long as possible."

"I'll do what I can," the blonde responded, nodding her head at Hotch with a serious look on her face. As Hotch walked further into the middle of the jet, Elle turned back to look at him as he approached.

"Why is that so important?" She asked.

Spencer, who was seated on May's right, spoke up. "There was a nationwide scare in the 1980s involving satanic ritual killings and abuse. The 'Satanic Panic', it was called. It began after a publication of a book about repressed memories being recovered through hypnotherapy."

The man quickly nudged May, and she took that as her cue to continue his train of thought. "Memories of growing up with devil worshippers who used children in their rituals and ceremonies."

"Most of the claims were later found to be false or just impossible," Hotch added, sitting on the bench.

"Still, numerous therapists accepted the assertations as true and began searching for similar signs in their own patients."

"After one year, thousands of people reported the exact same repressed memories," Spencer stated, lifting his fingers up to make air quotes on 'repressed memories', showing his disbelief.

"The bureau conducted an investigation," Hotch continued, "and concluded that most of the ritual killings or abuse were more urban legend than anything else."

Elle put this all into consideration, looking at Hotch as she asked, "You're saying there's no such thing as devil worship?"

It was Gideon that answered. "Not at all. But most of the satanism that we've seen is juveniles damaging property, desecrating churches, cemeteries. To my knowledge, there's never been a proven case of a satanic ritual killing in the United States."

"Well, maybe there is now," Derek spoke up with a frown on his face as he stared down at a photo of the crime scene.

Once they landed, the team split up as usual to cover more ground. May decided to stick close to Spencer, Gideon, and JJ as they headed off to one of the crime scenes. Without thinking much about it, May grimaced and let out a gag as she looked down at the decomposed body.

Spencer gave her a strange look. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she cringed, facing the opposite direction, and pulling out her face mask from her pocket and putting it on. "Just...smells."

"Huh?"

Before May could explain further, an officer came up to them. "Mornin'," he greeted, but he was mostly looking at JJ. "John Bridges."

"Yeah," JJ nodded and shook his outstretched hand. "We spoke on the phone. I'm Agent Jareau, these are agents Gideon and Black, and Dr Reid, with the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit." She pointed at each of them as she mentioned their names.

Gideon walked away from the body to shake Bridges' hand. "Hi."

"Thanks for coming out so fast."

May elected to tune out the introductory conversation and instead moved away from the body, trying to get the rotten smell out of her nose. It was an unusual thing, as she's been in more crime scenes than the average Joe, and—as bad as it might sound—had gotten used to it all. But for some reason...

"What do you smell, exactly?"

She would've been shocked by Spencer's sudden appearance by her side, if not for her hearing suddenly picking up the sound of his heartbeat and her nose recognizing the scent of old books that lingered wherever he went. But she wasn't about to mention that, instead:

"You could've given me a heart attack," she joked, nudging his side. "And uh...I don't know. It smelled really bad."

He frowned, noting her strange disposition. "First off, I wouldn't have given you a heart attack. You didn't jump, and you didn't seem surprised at all that I spoke. Second, I don't understand why you say you can smell that body. It's been a year, no person can still smell the decomp." He looked her over. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I..." She frowned. "I don't...I don't know."

Gideon cut their conversation short as he turned to Spencer. "Does 'LOD' mean anything to you?"

Spencer sighed and tore his gaze away from May as he turned to his mentor, humming a no. "I don't know of any significance in satanism, either."

"Well, I could have Garcia research this 'LOD' thing if I could get a call out," JJ complained, frowning down at her phone as she stepped away from everyone to get on higher ground.

"Not much of a chance of that out here," Sheriff Bridges told her.

"Are there any cults in the area that you know about?" May asked the man, marking their first conversation. "Secret groups, people you see you don't know much about, people who stay to themselves mostly?"

He shook his head, looking at her mask weirdly for a second. "This is a very religious area. Church on Sundays, fellowship on Wednesday, bible classes. If there was a secret group, I'd probably know about it."

Spencer scoffed. "That's an inherent contradiction."

"Excuse me?"

She sighed. "He means, if there was a group being secretive, you probably wouldn't know. It's a secret, remember?"

"You doing good?"

May groaned, sending a glare towards Derek. "Why do people keep asking me that?"

"'Cause you don't seem okay," Elle stated, huffing slightly. The three of them walked away from everyone else, trying to profile the area itself, trying to figure out how the unsub could've done everything in this terrain.

Before she could retort, May had to curse in her head at the sight of her white sneakers getting dirtied by the dirt. You could tell she hadn't planned this hiking trip, not with her white turtle-neck underneath a black shirt and her signature black, baggy jeans.

The Quileute sighed, leading the three of them deeper into the woods. "Yeah, okay, I'm not...completely fine. I'm okay. It's enough."

"Not nearly," Derek scolded, cursing under his breath as he heaved up a rather steep incline. "Don't think we haven't noticed the mood swings..."

"...the alarming raise in temperature..." Elle nodded.

"...and the fact that you always seem so spaced out, like you're drifting away," he continued.

"Well, you won't have to worry about that anymore," she frowned, walking a little faster. "Gid's sendin' me home. Medical leave or something."

Elle groaned as she grabbed onto a tree to boost herself up another incline. "At least you get to rest. I feel like I'm gonna need a medical leave myself 'cause of this goddamn place."

May chuckled, offering her hand to the woman. "Not much of an outdoor kind of gal?"

"Love the outdoor, hate the terrain," she stated, taking May's outstretched hand and pulling herself up.

"Yeah, not everyone can grow up exploring forests and mountains every weekend," Derek teased, looking up at May. Between the three of them, she was the only one not struggling, the only one who wasn't out of breath, and the only one who could casually walk through the woods.

"Don't forget the cliff jumping," she added. She quickly noticed how even he was struggling. A mischievous smile made its way upon her lips. "Need a little help, Der?"

"I mean, you could help me in a lot of ways--"

"Gross," Elle quickly cut him off, before stopping in her tracks and looking around. "How far have we gone?"

"A little over a quarter of a mile," May answered, taking in her surroundings. She loved the smell of this place despite the real reason why she was here; far enough from the bodies and now all she can smell was nature. She took in a deep breath and let herself relax. "Why?"

"I think we're lost."

"We're not lost," Derek immediately disagreed, removing his glasses and pocketing them. "We're not."

"Do you even remember which direction we came from?" Elle asked in a deadpan tone before groaning. "Can this day get any worse?"

"Either of you got a compass?" Derek asked, looking around with a deep frown on his face. "We can't be lost."

"We're lost."

"Shit."

"We're not lost," May rolled her eyes. "You guys are idiots. We came from there," she pointed to a direction she could smell a trail of everyone's scent coming from. Might as well use the super senses, she thought to herself.

"You sure?"

She laughed. "Come on, let's head back."

While she went ahead and began to walk back the path they came from, she could hear Derek and Elle muttering behind her, asking each other if they should follow her. She would've retorted, but knew she shouldn't have been able to hear, so she kept her lips sealed and listened in to their conversation.

"Should we follow her?" Elle asked. "Can she actually know...?"

"Best not to doubt her," Derek remarked. "She knows what she's doing."

"You trust her?" Though May knew what Elle meant—merely wondering if May could actually navigate a forest—she couldn't help but tune in, wondering what Derek would say. And what he said made her heart flutter.

"I trust her with my life."

"It's my turn to ask: are you okay?" May whispered to Spencer as they stood side by side in the small town's precinct, ready to deliver to profile. She's seen his dark circles, his yawns he keeps trying to hide, and his rather pale appearance.

He gave her a look, and was about to open his mouth when she tugged at his purple scarf.

"You ask how I am, and you hate when I lie. Right back at you."

Spencer groaned, closing his notepad before dragging her to a little corner. He sighed and, without warning, grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest. He kept his cold hands on top of her warm one, using her heat to keep him grounded.

"I've been having nightmares," he mumbled. He rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand as he looked down at the ground. May quickly wrapped her free arm around his waist, knowing how much her temperature calmed him. "It's just...the things we see. I don't understand how the others don't seem to get affected so much."

She scoffed, removing her hand from his chest and instead wrapping her arm around his, placing her other hand on the wall as she leaned back against it. "Just because they don't talk about it, doesn't mean they don't get affected."

"What do you mean?"

"You think Hotch and Gideon don't get nightmares?" She rhetorically asked. "The reason why they don't seem affected is because they have people to talk to. Hotch has his wife, Gid has...Gid has me."

"...what?"

"The first time I saw a dead body, I pretended to be unaffected," she confessed. "But the second I was alone, I broke down. Gid found me. We talked. He told me it was a normal reaction. I asked how he got used to it. He said he hadn't," she shrugged. "It was then that we started to talk about stuff like that. He barely has anyone, you know."

"So you confide in each other?" Spencer wondered.

"Yep, he's honestly like my second dad," she shrugged. "He's a great person to talk to, you know. Don't keep stuff to yourself. You'll explode."

He sighed and nodded. "I get your point. I'll- I'll try to talk about it. But..."

"It's hard, isn't it?"

"At least I have you," he smiled, hugging her briefly. "I'm gonna miss you."

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "I'm only gonna be gone for, like, two weeks."

"Yeah, well, it's gonna be the longest time we're away from each other since the academy."

"True, but I'm only a phone call away."

He smiled. "Love you."

"Love you."

author's note: honestly don't like this chapter. i feel like it's all over the place, but i just felt the need to get this chapter over with. i'm still in my first week of college (of regular college classes to be specific, as we've just finished the orientation week) so like, i'm still adjusting to my sched and everything. so i sincerely hope this entire thing makes sense.

anyway, i'll see y'all soon.

goodnight <3