Chapter Five:
( dumbledore's army )

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             SPENCER HAD A SICK feeling that Professor Umbridge overheard rumors about a few students forming a group to actually learn self-defense spells and not just read about them in a book. The next morning after the horrendous date, Spencer met up with Ricky in the common room and stopped themselves from continuing any further as they noticed the poster in the Ravenclaw's notice board. Immediately, the young girl scowled as she read all of what it said and at the signature in the bottom. The Educational Decree Number Twenty-Four demanded that all clubs and sports be disbanded and could only reunite or form with Professor Umbridge's permission.

             "You reckon she knows?" Ricky questions, his eyes narrowed in disgust as he stared at the post. Spencer clenched her jaw and stared around the room, deciding the answer was quite obvious. It does not matter if she actually knows they have formed a group, but it is obvious that she suspects one has been or will be done. And if she does know, did anyone in the group confess? Or did someone overhear? She grabbed on her friend's arm and dragged him to the Great Hall. Although she was about to head to the Gryffindor table, she decided against it as she noticed all the familiar lions surrounding Harry, Hermione, and Ron. Some other students were also staring at the red-colored table which Spencer noticed would gain enough attention as it is and decided against heading there as well.

             She slumped in the seat besides Luna, offering the girl a brief smile and knowing look before realizing that Theodore sat in her other side. The Slytherin, remembering that yesterday had been Hogsmeade day, turned to the two Ravenclaws in suspense. Ricky gave him an odd look and he only began to blush through his ears as Theodore asks him how his day with 'Potter' was.

             "Er— it was nice. I don't think anything is gonna happen between us though..." Ricky sighs, his eyes drifting to the Gryffindor table. Spencer was about to ask why, before remembering that throughout the meeting Harry would continuously blush every time Cho Chang, a fellow Ravenclaw and roommate, spoke up in defense for him. Which is also how she remembered that last year Harry had a crush on her too. She gave a comforting smile to Ricky who shrugged in return. Even without him saying anything, she knew it was meant to represent that he was fine. And from the looks of it, he truly was. Ricky will always be the one to prefer staying as friends rather than loosing them. Isn't everyone?

             Noticing the wanting change of conversation, Theodore turned to Spencer with a curious look. At this, even Ricky leaned in closer from the other side. After they returned from their trip, Spencer reunited with her friend but the two first decided to rest— which ended up being a big nap that lasted until the morning of today. Well, Spencer had not slept at first and began reading A Tale of Two Cities, but after a while she decided to rest her eyes. Technically, the boy was about to hear how her day went as well.

             Spencer grimaced before admitting, "I think it's safe to say that I am never going on a date with Smith ever again." She shivered in disgust, still remembering how controlling the Hufflepuff was when he did not receive a kiss. The words he had told her that she longed to never hear. The two boys looked at each other in surprise and then urged her to continue.

             "I thought you were having a blast? We didn't even see each other until the ride back," Ricky recalls, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

             Spencer widened her eyes and shook her head. "If I were to have stayed with him the whole time, I would have hexed him," she snaps bitterly, rubbing her wrist where she remembered his strong hands on it. Theodore hardens his features immediately and Spencer slightly raises an eyebrow at how he appeared to be getting mad.

             "What did he do?" Theodore growls out, already standing up to most likely start a fight with the Hufflepuff. The young girl widened her eyes before she grabbed his robes and pulled him down. There was no way she was about to let her Slytherin friend receive a detention which would most likely be in charged by Professor Umbridge. Theodore sighs in disappointment, but sat back down.

             The girl eyes him suspiciously before confessing, "He tried to kiss me and wouldn't let me go until I gave him one." Ricky turns red in anger and soon he went to get up as well, but this time Theodore pulls him down.

             "I was ready to hex him, but Zabini came and made Smith leave," Spencer accidentally spills out. She made a face at her error of mentioning the other Slytherin knowing the two boys did not know that they've actually talked before. Theodore was the first to back up, his eyes revealing surprise at her confession.

             Ricky confusedly repeats, "Zabini?" As if the thought of the Slytherin coming in shocked him.

             "Yeah, I know. He keeps surprising me too," Spencer nods in agreement. The two boys share a look before deciding against questioning what she meant. Fortunately, they all let the topic go and continues eating in peace. That was until they had to go to class.

             History of Magic was somehow interesting when a beautiful white owl made its way to the window and Spencer was able to identify it as Harry's. Since Professor Binns rarely ever paid attention, the Gryffindor boy had let the owl in. Honestly, Spencer was quite amused and yet surprised since owls usually come in the morning, not during class. Though, whatever was wrong with his owl made Harry leave the class early to go to the 'hospital wing', but she was sure he went elsewhere. Honestly, Spencer tried her best to forget that yesterday she definitely did not go on a date with Smith. That, and also she was glad that Professor Umbridge still hasn't made an appearance in her first class. Unfortunately, the luck did not last long.

             During Potions, Harry was already being riled up before class started as Malfoy mocked the fact that the Slytherin Quidditch team was already formed once more while Gryffindor still has not. Spencer knew Ravenclaw wasn't either, but that was because they still needed to ask. Honestly, their team wasn't the greatest this year (if her assumptions to who is trying out is correct) and with some measurements she could see the problem that they had, but Spencer wasn't a part of it so she did not bother helping (rude, but she did not particularly care about that). Plus, measurements wasn't all they needed to get it right and play good. Spencer sat beside Theodore knowing Ricky would still get separated from her. She placed her head on his shoulder the moment she noticed the pink toad enter in. The Slytherin did not know of her hand being some punching bag for the lady, but he did have enough common sense to know of their bitter hatred.

             Theodore comfortingly rubbed her hand, his face blank revealing nothing toward the class, but his actions saying something else. The Slytherin helped distract her from the fact that Umbridge was there, continuously asking questions about the potions (despite the fact that he knew what he was doing). The usual ordeal happened with Divination and of course her now least favorite class, Defense Against the Arts. It no longer was about the Dark Arts. This time no one spoke at all and Spencer smartly had cast a spell on the book to make it look like she was reading the theory book, but in reality she was reading the book that the boy beside her gave her. He did not know that, even though he sat right beside her and blankly read the class's book. The only comfort that Spencer had during her class times was the book.

             Spencer wasn't quite sure in anything anymore. Honestly, school was easier when all she had to worry about was Morgana constantly talk about Voldemort, but it safe enough to not actually come true. Now he was back and she could feel how different it feels in every way. The nightmares she had about Morgana ruthlessly killing her with Deatheaters by her side could come true in any minute, whenever Voldemort decides best to attack. The Ministry was deeply over the head that nothing bad was happening and that Harry was a big fat liar— which he isn't. Spencer felt trapped and bottled in with her emotions that she deeply tried to ignore and every time she lets them out, Blaise Zabini is there to watch her collapse. She was some goddamn damsel in distress and she absolutely hated that about herself. Spencer wasn't weak— she wasn't. Except every time she was alone in her thoughts, everything felt loud and horrible. Glooming ideas roam her mind that she feared the fact that maybe, just maybe, she wasn't so different from Morgana.

             "We need to talk," Ricky sighs out loud, his eyes washing with concern as he stared into his friend's eyes. This time, they were not at the Great Hall nor in any of their classes. Instead, they were in the common room, sitting by the small couch in the corner where the window granted a beautiful view. Not many students were in the common room at this time— especially since it was considerably late. The four words made Spencer's hair by her neck tingle, a gulp being followed as she feared what that meant.

             Spencer stares down at her hands, fumbling with her fingers as she waited for her friend to continue with what he wanted to talk about. Silence overwhelmed between the two and despite not looking at his face, she knew he was thinking to find the perfect words to start with. About what? She wasn't entirely sure. Slowly, she glances up to meet his eyes as he clears his throat. Her friend will forever be beautiful. His light brown hair was messy (as always) and his blue eyes only ever revealed concern.

             "What's wrong? And don't bullshit me with the 'you're fine' line because I know when you lie," Ricky dares to ask, pointing a finger right at her in accusation. He continued staring at her, watching as she tried to stare at him in the eyes before she dropped the act. Spencer purses her lips before casting a silencing charm around them knowing she would not want anymore people that necessary to know that she was struggling with herself. "If you want to make it easier, just please... start from the beginning. I've noticed how you've been acting, but I thought giving you space would help and honestly, Spence... I don't think it did at all."

             The Ravenclaw girl rubbed her hands together after placing her wand away. She bit her lip in hesitation before finally beginning, "I don't know why I feel like this. The school year began and for some reason I already felt this way, but it was hidden from the surface for anyone to see. It probably started at home. You know, Morgana was the happiest I had ever seen her and all for the wrong reasons. I always believed Harry— not because of Dumbledore— but because he hasn't lied yet and... because my sister completely changed into something far realistic so she could turn out dark."

             "And then came Hogwarts and everyone acts like everything is okay! I understand that we want to avoid facing reality, but it's already here and it felt like they forgot one of us was murdered," Spencer continues, revealing how completely fed up with the ignorant people undermining the truth. Cedric Diggory, a kind-hearted Hufflepuff, lost his life in a school that was meant to be safe. And yet he died while attending and that showed how Hogwarts truly was not safe, not even with Dumbledore around. Her friend swallowed deeply, his own eyes filling up with tears at the sudden reminder of everything. "And you know, I'm done letting words simply fly over my head and with me being angry and with that sort of thinking, I snapped in Umbridge's class which landed me in detention that continued for ages. Then she has that audacity to make me write exactly 'I must be like Morgana' one-thousand six-hundred eighty times. Each time it was imprinted into my skin leaving behind a scar that I don't just see in my hand, but in my mind."

             Ricky's eyes glance down to the scar and he closes his eyes in regret for not coming to his friend earlier on. He dared to not talk as he knew she was not done yet. Spencer wipes her cheek to the imaginary tears that fell. This time she won't be crying— she's done a lot of that already. "I don't want to be like her, Ricky. But every-fucking-else wants me to and I hate that because now that's all I can think about. My parents are disappointed in me for being a fucked-up kid and not perfect like Morgana. I can't help but think that something is wrong with me. Each time I look at myself I see utter disappointment because I'm unlovable! Merlin, I don't even think I like myself," and thus the hard truth was to be revealed.

             Spencer didn't enjoy watching as her friend's face crumbled at her words, his lips whimpering to form a frown. "I don't wanna live feeling like this," the girl confesses, her brows knitting closely together. "I feel overwhelmed and I just want to stop feeling so negative, Ricky. I can't be alone in my thoughts because I'm scared of my own mind," she admits, her eyes big in a momentum.

             Ricky licks his lips nervously before shaking his head at everything she just revealed. "You're not alone, okay? I don't know how to help you, but believe me when I say that I'm going to try," he soothes. His eyes scan over her whole face carefully. He furrows his eyebrows as he thinks about his next words before declaring, "I'm proud of you, Spencer. I'm proud at how strong you are and despite the way you feel about yourself, nothing will ever change that. And if I have to get through you so you can see why I'm proud, then so be it."

             The young girl stares at her friend with tears in her eyes, her eyebrows close together while her lips slightly parted open as she takes in his words. She releases a small chuckle as her lips twist upwards in the right revealing a tiny dimple. Ricky stared at her with much adoration, leaning in so he could embrace her in a everlasting hug. With her nose close to his skin, she could smell the obvious chocolate he loved to hide for himself. With his friend on his arms, he carelessly mumbled out, "I love you."

             "Thank you," Spence responds, her head still on his chest. Truthfully, her own words were not just for him saying 'I love you' but also for what he said beforehand. And after the long confession, the two decided to continue sharing what has been occurring, including her weird connection to the only, Blaise Zabini. And maybe she won't be okay for a while, but at least she knew that Ricky would be by her side through the thick and thin.

.･:*:･ﾟ'✫,'✫'ﾟ･:*:･˙

             THE TWO RAVENCLAWS MET up with the rest of the secret group in the seventh floor opposite tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy being clubbed by the trolls. It was currently eight o'clock and once they reached to their destination, Spencer gaped at the sight in surprise. She was sure that a door was not placed there before, but except now it was clearly in front of their faces. It did not take long for her to remember what she had read in the various books about Hogwarts. When most needed, a door can be awakened to help. The Room of Requirement, where anything can appear if you truly wish for it. She turned her head toward Ricky who chose to hold her hand, bringing her in close to him as they found a seat in one of the cushions that randomly appeared. Truth be told, the whole area was impressive. Her eyes brightened up at the sight of books being piled up by where Hermione was sitting, a book already on her hands.

             Her excitement didn't last long as her eyes briefly met Zacharias's who entered beside Ernie. Spencer glares at his way, a slight scowl on her lips before choosing to ignore him and giving a kind look to the one beside him. Her attention returned to Fred who commented that the room once helped him and his brother escape from Filch. Then it wanders to Hermione who rose up her hand like a student.

             "I think we ought to elect a leader," she inputs in, her eyes glancing at everyone else before staring back at her best friend. Spencer tilts her head with a slight frown. Wasn't Harry suppose to be the leader? She hoped he still was since well... it was Harry. Who doesn't like Harry? Well, excluding the majority of the Slytherin clan. It appears that everyone else seemed to have the same thoughts as her when they looked at Hermione weirdly and Cho decided to speak up for everyone. Once Hermione asked if they wanted Harry to be their official leader, everyone (yes, even Smith) rose their hand up in agreement. Harry blushes in embarrassment and as he went to talk, he cut himself off once he noticed Hermione raise her hand up once more. "I also think we need a name," she adds in bluntly.

             Ricky leans forward interestingly. The young girl shrugged uncaringly, but she knew a name would be useful to hide their identities or point out a meeting without being obvious. When Angelina proposed, "Can we be the Anti-Umbridge League?" Spencer whooped for that name (although she figured they would want it more distinct). Harry looked her way and sent her an amused grin.

             When Hermione rejected the ideas, Spencer shrugs and says, "How about something subtle and normal that begins with the actual name of it— say for example: Anti-Umbridge League could be said like 'Aunt Ursula laughs at eight every Wednesday for some unusual reason'." The whole group of them quiet down and even Ricky is staring at her in confusion.

             "I'm just saying," she points out, waving her hand off. Clearly, they did not appreciate her wonderful idea. Truthfully, she doesn't have an aunt named Ursula, but the idea still counts. It had the initials A, U, and L while the time was added toward the end. Whatever the name turns out to be, she would do it as she wishes since Theodore is most likely still going to sit with her and Ricky. She turns to her side as she hears small snorts of amusement. Fred and George are both grinning up at her, raising their hand so she could give them a hand-five. In confusion, Spencer obliges before slowly turning back to Harry.

             Cho shyly raises up her hand and moves the attention away from Spencer as she says, "The Defense Association? The DA for short, so nobody knows what we're talking about." Spencer lightly rolls her eyes. Alright, it was good, but hers was better. Who says DA out of nowhere? Not that her own wasn't odd at all.

             "Yeah, the DA's good. Only lets make it Dumbledore's Army because that's the Ministry's worst fear, isn't it?" Ginny speaks up, a smile forming in her lips. There was a good deal of appreciative murmuring (even Spencer found it amusing) and laughter at her words. At the name, many of them raised their hands in agreement which then sealed it's official group title. Almost dramatically, Hermione wrote it right on top of the list where their names were written.

             Once that was over with, Harry finally began saying, "Shall we get practicing then? I was thinking, the first thing we should do is Expelliarmus, you know, the Disarming Charm. I know it's pretty basic, but I found it really useful—"

             "Oh, please," said Zacharias Smith, rolling his eyes and folding his arms. Spencer scrunched up her face at the sound of his voice, squeezing tightly into Ricky's hand. Noticing her discomfort, the boy lightly caressed her thumb before turning his head to motion for the twins to come forward. Without the girl noticing, he gave an idea to the Weasleys, gaining a mischievous (and slightly angered) look. "I don't think Expelliarmus is exactly going to help us against You-Know-Who, do you?"

             Harry stares down at the ground, his voice growing quiet as he said, "I've used it against him. It saved my life last June." At the sudden reminder of the third challenge last school year, the room grows silent. No one, not even Smith dared to move (although he did leave his mouth slightly open) when Harry announces that if they think they're good enough for such a spell, then they should leave.

             The boy nodded with little accomplishment. "I reckon we should all divide into pairs and practice," he clears his throat, beckoning for everyone to start standing and finding their partner. Spencer stood from her spot and brought Ricky with her, standing beside Neville and Harry since the Longbottom sadly did not have a partner, but Harry with his sweet personality offered to be his. Once Harry noticed everyone with a partner, he nods and clearly says, "On the count of three, then— one, two, three—"

             Spencer raises an eyebrow at Ricky, watching him confidently do a stance against her with his wand ready to do the motion. Once Harry had uttered the third number, Spencer wasted no time in clearly and efficiently pronouncing, "Expelliarmus!" Holding out her hand as she successfully captures his wand. Though, as she glances around the room she grimaces and ducks down as some wands fly out everywhere. Only a few others did it well (of course Hermione was one of them) while most did not. They did learn this before, right? She knew Ricky actually knows how to do the spell, but for them it was a matter of who was faster.

             The two best friends repeated the same motion a couple of tries, although clearly more than everyone else was doing. For about three of them, Ricky had actually went faster. The leader of Dumbledore's Army sent them a thumbs up, nodding his head impressively before looking elsewhere to where the damage laid. Ricky caught her wand another time as she got herself distracted with Smith who seemed to be doing worse than she thought he would do. There was something odd happening with him as every time he opened his mouth to disarm Anthony Goldstein, his own wand would fly out of his hand despite the fact that Anthony had not even utter a sound. For a moment, she figured the other boy was extremely skilled and mastered the motion of nonverbal magic, before she took notice of Fred and George several feet from Smith and taking turns to successfully disarming him. Once the twins noticed her staring, they gave her a knowing smirk and nodded at her in assurance.

             Her eyes wander back to her friend with a look. "You told them about Saturday, didn't you?" She questions, but it not really being an actual question. Ricky shrugs his shoulders, a grin on his lips which reveals the truth.

             This lasted for a little longer until Harry blew a whistle— Spencer didn't even notice he brought one— and gained everyone's attention. "That wasn't bad, but there's definite room for improvement. Let's try again..."

             Harry seemed to learn his lesson and this time went around to help each of them. Spencer turned back to Ricky with a proud look. "He would be a great professor," she comments to her friend, lazily repeating the same spell as he tried to catch her off-guard. He nodded in agreement and summoned his wand to try once more. She could tell immediately that everyone else began improving.

             "Hey, Harry," Hermione called from the other end of the room. Spencer and Ricky stopped their small duel as they stare in curiosity. "Have you checked the time?"

             Apparently, it was already ten past nine. This meant that they now had to sneakily make their way back to their common rooms without getting caught or else they would face detention. Quite honestly, Spencer was tired of them. Harry blew his whistle and it silenced everyone up. "That was pretty good, but we've overrun. We'd better leave it here. Same time, same place next week?"

             Dean Thomas eagerly shouts, "Sooner!" Many people, including Spencer, nods in agreement. It was quite fun what they were doing, actually. Dangerous, but fun.

             Angelina rather said quickly, "The Quidditch season's about to start, we need team practices too!" Spencer thought on saying 'fuck Quidditch', but she knew majority would look at her offensively. Don't get her wrong, she liked the sport. Except this felt more exciting!

             The Gryffindor boy nodded at their suggestions and simply sticks with telling them, "Let's say next Wednesday, then. And then we can decide on additional meetings that day... come on, we better get going."

             He pulled out an empty parchment paper (which Spencer finds out it was not empty as she sees a whole map appear) and checks it out carefully to see if any professor was out. Slowly, Harry began letting them leave in threes or fours. Spencer stopped in front of the boy who lived and gave him a supportive nod before stepping out with Ricky by her side. Quietly, the two of them sneakily returned to the west side where the Ravenclaws stayed.

             (For the first time in quite a while, Spencer slept with peace in her mind).

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:
shorter, but i wanted to focus on her
relationship with ricky :) just know
most of these chapters tend to be
3000-8000 words,,, sometimes big
sometimes not!

btw, spencer talking it out with ricky
ISNT gonna fix all of her problems
and she's still gonna struggle with
herself and all that, but this time
she's gonna be helped too ://
u think this is over ??? nOPE

also, pls be sure to support blm
by signing petitions, donating,
informing yourself— all that type, okay?