.・゜-: ✧☾　☽✧ :-゜・.

𝐭𝐰- 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞. 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬. 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐨 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐚𝐦 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐬. 𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐮 𝐝𝐨.
𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐦𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤. 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐥

Stella, Carl, Michonne and Rick had put up camp in the forest not far from the tracks. According to the signs that were put up along the way, they were getting closer. The four of them were hungry and exhausted after walking miles upon miles without stopping for more than five minutes. However, food and rest were Stella's last priority. All that occupied her mind was the little hope that Levi had seen the signs. If he was even alive to read them.

"How hungry are you on a scale of one to ten?" Rick asked as he joined the three around the fire in the small camp.

"15." Carl looked up with a slight smile.

"28"

"Triple that," Stella said and attempted to do the math in her head before giving up quickly.

"Yeah, well it's been a while." Rick smiled. "I'm gonna go check on the snares."

"Can I go with you?" Carl asked.

Rick grinned. "How else are you gonna learn?" The man turned to the two girls sitting next to each other. "You too." He reached his hand out for Stella to grab it, dragging herself to her feet as she lightly pressed her hand to her wound. There were still no signs of infections but the pain that shot through her body every time she moved even so slightly was plenty enough.

She kicked some dirt onto the fire to put it out as the rest of the group gathered their packing.

"We'll stay a day or two, get some rest," Rick explained as they began to walk.

"Finish healing up?" Michone raised an eyebrow as she glanced over at both Rick and Stella. She had acknowledged that the two of them were still badly wounded but seemed to push their struggle away so as to not be a burden.

"I'm almost there," Rick told her.

"So am I." Stella tried to cover up her lie with a small smile.

"You were shot, Stella." Michonne looked over at her with a concerned expression.

"You tell us if you need more rest," Rick told her, earning a nod from the girl.

"We're close now, right?" Carl asked.

"To Terminus?" The older man asked making Carl nod. "We are."

Carl looked down on his feet again. "When we get there, are we gonna tell them?"

"Tell them what?" Stella asked.

"Everything that's happened to us. All the stuff we've done." Carl explained.

Stella's gaze flickered over to him. She knew that Carl had been forced to do things that he shouldn't have to do. He had seen things that no child should see and despite the fact that Stella constantly tried to shield him from it she realized that there was no way she or anyone could protect anyone from these things. It was the way the world was nowadays. And it was cruel.
However, life at Terminus might change that. If it was secure it could be their future. They could be safe there. Carl could be safe from all the cruel things in the world.

As much as Stella didn't want to have it, she did have big hopes for Terminus.

"Do we tell them the truth?" Carl turned to Rick.

"We're gonna tell them who we are." He told him.

"But how do you say that? I mean... who are we?" Carl asked.

Stella stared at him, pondering his words for a moment. It wasn't until a distant snarl interrupted her thoughts that she tore her gaze from the boy. Her eyes traveled through the forest before fixating on a stray walker that emerged from between the trees.

Rick Carl and Michonne all grabbed hold of their weapons. But before Stella had a chance to pull hers out, Rick signaliced for her to stay back. She was grateful, knowing that her still wounded body wasn't ready for that combat.

She stood back and watched as the three approached it before Michonne's blade sliced through its head. Seeing as no other dead was in sight, they continued their journey through the forest.

"There you go!" Rick exclaimed, throwing his bag off his shoulder as he rushed over to the snare where a rabbit had wanderers straight into it. Stella stared at their soon-to-be meal, feeling her stomach growl at the sight of their first food in over a day.

"It's a small one but it'll do," Rick said as he shoved the animal into his pack.

Stella kneeled down next to her father as her finger traveled over the snare. She remembered Daryl teaching her and Levi about this exact thing. "Slipknot, right?"

Rick looked over at her in surprise. "That's right." He lifted the snare for Carl to see. "Tie one on both ends, then you tighten one side to the branch." He explained. "Now you see how the ground here is sort of a tunnel shape."

"It's a trail?" Carl asked.

"That's right." Rick nodded with a smile. "That's where you want the noose. So you hide it with leaves. Then you put sticks all around it. So any animal going by has to turn this way. Right into the trap."

"Help!" The cry pierced through the air.

Before Stella even had a chance to comprehend what was happening, Carl was already on his feet and racing in the direction of the sound. She tried to call out for him but he was already far ahead of her. Rick set off after his son while Stella struggled to get back on her feet again. Once she was standing she rushed after the two alongside Michonne.

They stopped at a glade, staring in horror at the man in front of them who tried to fight off the horde of walkers that were coming at him. Stella watched as Rick held Carl back from attempting a heroic act to save the clearly defeated man in front of them. The pained scream that erupted from the man's throat when the first walked dug its teeth into his face, ripping it off, made Stella's stomach turn and she spun around to look away. Her face collided with her father's shoulder and she pressed hard against it hoping to not hear the sounds.

It didn't take long until the walkers had noticed them and within seconds they had hurried out of the forest.

Arriving back to the train tracks, they encountered another small horde of walkers being surrounded by not only the ones in front of them but the dead behind them. With their weapons in hand, they skilfully took down most of the walkers before leaving the scene in a rush.

Suddenly they were back to walking, traveling over the train tracks with their heads set on terminus. They weren't far away now. It would take them a day or two before they would arrive. Stella's hand clutched her hand into the piece of paper in her pocket as the flicker of hope blared through her body.

If Levi had seen the signs, he would go there. He would go there, thinking that Stella had seen the signs too.

That's what Stella kept telling herself.

"You okay?"

Stella snapped out of her thoughts, whipping her head around to look at her father, meeting his concerned expression. She nodded quickly and tried to cover up her lie with a bright smile when in reality, her whole body was aching. The bullet wound seemed to catch an infection since they hadn't found any medical supplies in the last two days and they had walked without any longer pauses.

"There must be some houses down this way." Michonne panted as they moved up the road. "Maybe even a store. There's got to be some food around here somewhere."

"Hey, look," Carl said and nodded toward something up the road. Stella's gaze was laid upon a wrecked car, standing a few yards away. It wasn't much, but it worked as a camp for the night.

The first of them placed their few belongings in their new camp as Rick started a small fire. They gathered around it, eager to get a few bites of the rabbit they had caught earlier. In silence, the four of them enjoyed their small meal.

The sun had set and night had fallen over them. Stella and Carl had returned back to the car to sleep after Michonne and Rick offered to be look out. The cramped car made it impossible to find a comfortable spot. After what felt like an hour a soft croaky voice broke the silence in the vehicle.

"Stella? Are you awake?"

The blonde looked over at her brother. "Yup." She sat up. "What's up."

"Do you think Terminus is safe?" Carl asked.

Stella stared at him for a moment in silence. She had barely thought about the fact that the so-called sanctuary could be anything else than safe. She had been so busy worrying about Levi not being there that she had forgotten that she might be leading the only family she had left into a trap.

"I hope so." Stella cursed at herself for not sounding convincing enough. "I think so. Don't you?"

Carl looked up at her, letting the moonlight illuminate his features. He looked hesitant before he spoke. "I want to. But we've been through so much it's hard to trust people these days."

Stella bit the inside of her lip, feeling her heart sink upon hearing the boy's words. He was too young to have to go through everything that he's been through. When Stella was his age, all she did was worry over the fact that she wouldn't be able to work as a princess all her life and her bedtime.

"I know. But we've gotten through it all. Together." Stella sent him a quick smile.

"Not all of us." The boy muttered. Stella knew that he didn't mean for her to hear his words but unfortunately, she did. And they cut deeper than any knife could. She looked at Carl and couldn't help but see her own mother and it scared her to death every time. His eyes, his hair, the dimples that appeared when he smiled, the way he would shove his hands deep into his pockets whenever he could get upset. Everything reminded him of her.

"She's watching over you," Stella said softly making Carl snatch his head back up to his sister, surprised that she had heard what was supposed to be said internally.

"I don't believe that heaven crap." Carl sank deeper down in his seat.

"It's not crap," Stella told him sharply. "What do you believe then?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? Really? Just darkness after death?" Stella raised an eyebrow. Taking a deep breath, she opened her mouth after a moment of hesitation. "What about mom? And... Judith. Sophia? You think it's just darkness for them?"

Stella stared at him waiting for a reaction at the mention of the people they had lost but the boy remained staring into the darkness in front of him.

"What else would there be?" He asked shifting his gaze to his older sister.

"I don't know. Maybe you're reborn or you're with your old relatives. Anything but just darkness for all eternity."

"That's stupid." Car breathed.

"What is?"

"That reborn crap," Carl said.

"First off, who allowed you to swear like that." Stella lifted her finger in the air with a grin. "Second of all it's not crap. Plus that's badass. Imagine getting reborn as an animal."

"Enough crazy talk." Carl chuckled slightly.

"No! Now you tell me what animal." Stella smiled.

"That's stupid."

"No, tell me."

Carl stared at her before sucking in a deep breath. "Not that I believe it...." He lifted his hand in the air. "But I'd probably be a deer."

"A deer?" Stella tilted her head to the side. The boy nodded slowly and the older sister observed his expression. He hadn't just picked the animal off the top of his head. The reason for it had a deeper meaning.

"Why?" Stella asked softly.

Carl stared at her for several beats of silence. Stella could hear Rick and Michener chatter quietly outside and the sound of crickets in the distance. It was still and peaceful, but inside the car lingered something heavy like the two were carrying the greif of the people they had lost on their shoulders but could finally take the heavy weight off in the form of words and confessions between the two Grimes children.

"Right before I got shot, we had just stumbled upon a deer." Carl began and Stella's heart twisted at the memory. "I remember it so well. It was so still and peaceful. Like there wasn't a worry in the world. Like the dead wasn't roaming the earth." Carl stared out the window, too scared to look her sister in the eye and show too much vulnerability. "And it reminds me of mom."

Stella practically heard the sound of her heart-shattering. Not only had Carl lost his mother but he was forced to watch it. Stella had tried to sweep him under her wings and protect him from the cruelty in the world but it somehow managed to find its way to him no matter how hard Stella tried.

"Carl-"

"Now you." The boy was quick to say. "Tell me your animal."

Stella sat quietly pondering the question. Ever since she was a child she knew for sure that she wanted to be reborn as a dog.

"A butterfly." The word escaped her mouth before she had any time to think. Her answer had always been dog but instead of saying that, a memory appeared in her head. She was brought back to one of the days at the farm when she walked alongside Beth picking flowers for Dale's funeral with Ellie running ahead of them chasing a butterfly.

Her heart ached at the thought of her two best friends who might be buried in ashes and stone back at the prison.

"Why?" Carl asked.

"It reminds me of Ellie." Stella spoke. "There was this day at the farm when we were-"

The two were abruptly interrupted by the sound of a palm against the car window behind Carl. Stella shot up to see an unknown man, grinning deviously at the two children. Stella threw a quick glance at her father and Michonne to see that both of them were being held at gunpoint, surrounded by a group of men.

Suddenly, Stella jolted slightly at the sound of scraping against the car window behind her. An unfamiliar face, smirked at her as his knife carved a long line over the glass. Stella's hand instantly went to the knife in her holster and as her other hand tried to reach for her gun a very familiar voice cut through the air. Stella's stomach turned with both horror and warmth. She wanted to get out of the car and get him away from the scene that was screaming with danger.

"Joe!" The air in Stella's lungs seemed to had disappeared within one second as the shock washed over her. When she turned to see his face, tears had already formed in her eyes.

"Levi?" She whispered under her breath even though she knew that he couldn't hear her from outside the car. However, the boy's gaze seemed to be permanently attached to the blonde inside the car as he moved into the moonlight alongside Daryl.

"You're stopping me in eight, Lev." The man who held a gun to her father's temple said.

"Just hold up," Daryl spoke up.

"This is the guy that killed Lou and Freddy so we've got nothing to talk about." Another man said, pointing his knife at Rick making every muscle in Stella's body tense. She remembered the name Freddy. One of the men in the house the other day had called out that one particular name. It was the name of the man whose neck she had snapped the day before.

"The thing about nowadays is that we've got nothing but time. Say you're piece, Lev." The man, apparently named Joe, said.

Levi looked like he hesitated for a second as his gaze lingered over Stella. The two stared at each other with teary eyes, both unbelievably happy to see each other alive, but also frightened to their very core knowing that they were outnumbered.

"These people, they're good people. You're gonna let them go, right now." Levi raised his voice as he finally looked away from the girl, shifting his gaze to Joe. His gaze instantly hardened at his demand but Joe seemed completely unbothered.

"Now, I think Lou and Freddy would disagree with you on that," Joe said calmly. "I'll of course have to speak for them both cause your friend here," he added even more pressure on his gun against Ricks temple. "Killed them both. Snapped Freddy's neck for Christ's Sake."

Stella held her breath. The man behind the glass continued to drag his knife over the window, making a hair-rising sound.

"You want blood. I get it." Levi stepped forward, tossing his gun and knife to the side before holding his arms out. "Take it from me, man."

Daryl swiftly jumped forward, grabbing the boy's shoulder to shove him backward. "Levi, don't." He whispered but was completely ignored as the boy pushed him off of him and stepped forward again.

Joe chuckled slightly at the sight. "This man killed our friend. You say he's good people." He shook his head slowly. "See that right there is a lie. It's a lie!"

His words were followed by an arrow piercing through the air, landing in Levi's shoulder making the boy hiss in pain, stumbling backward upon the impact. Stella screamed at the sight. Before Levi had any time to gather himself, one of the men, hurried forward before bringing his fist to the side of Levi's face. The boy grunted as the force caused him to stumble to the ground. Two other men came up around Levi and didn't waste a second before continually kicking and pounding him. Stella screamed his name, letting a tear spill from her eye. Two other men did the same with Daryl making Joe cheer at them. "Teach them! Them em all the way!"

Stella managed to catch a glimpse of blood on Levi's face and that was enough for her to attempt to move to the front seat. She wasn't sure what she attempted but she knew that she had to get out before they killed him.

Suddenly, The car door flew open and one of the men grabbed Carls clothes, roughly forcing him outside. Stella screamed as tried to reach for him but he was too far away. Anger overcame her and she moved back to the back seat, hoping to reach her brother but before she managed to get any closer, the car door behind her opened and her body was thrown outside as one of the men grabbed her by the hair. She cried out as she was getting pulled to the ground by her hair. Her body met the muddy ground with a thud and she immediately attempted to get on her feet again but the man who had pulled her out was way ahead of her, already standing on top of her.

"Get off her!" Levi yelled but was shut up by yet another kick in the stomach.

"Don't you worry, I've got you." The man above her cooed making fury and fear take over her senses. She instantly knew what the man's intentions were. Her lungs constricted as she squirmed violently under his grip. She kicked and fought in an attempt to flee but the man hovering over her was too strong.

It was happening again.
The thing that haunted her for so many months. It still did. The nightmare that had permanently burned itself into the back of her head was now replaying in front of her. The aftermath of fear and pain that had ruined her, made her paranoid and filled with horror for so many months. The panic that would shoot through her body at the slightest touch of anyone, even Levi. It had taken her months to overcome the anxiety she felt when someone came in contact with the spots on her skin where the governor had laid his hands on her. It was all washing over her. Again.

She panicked. She drew sharp and unsteady breaths until it became impossible to draw another one. The man hovered above her with a grin as he struggled to hold the furious girl down. She suddenly remembered that she was armed, the weapon she had forgotten about after the fear had taken over. In a raged attempt to pierce the knife through the man's neck, she lifted her weapon but he was faster. He grabbed her wrist tight enough to create a bruise, before rapidly hitting her hand against the ground. She let out a chilling scream as her hand was being pounded into the ground until she bled. The pain caused her to drop the weapon, and as she did, the man stopped what he had been doing before pinning both her arms above her head.

"Good girl." He whispered, moving his face closer to hers.

"Don't touch her!" Rick screamed but his voice sounded distant despite him not being more than a few feet away.

All Stella could hear was the ringing in her ears and Levi's pained grunts as the men around him continued to pound his face. Then, a distant but very familiar cry cut through all other sounds. It was Carl. Screaming and pleading.

The sound instantly sent Stella into a fist of rage. "Don't you fucking touch him! I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you! He's just a child! He had nothing to do with this! It was me. I killed your friend."

The confession left her mouth, bringing a quick stop to the actions of the men.

"See that's another lie," Joe said. "I don't like it when people lie." He sent the man on top of Stella a nod to which he returned his full attention to the girl with an excited chuckle.

The man's actions caused an enraged reaction from Rick who tried to rise to his feet but was instantly shoved down by Joe. "Listen." Rick tried. "It was me. It was just me."

"See now that's right. That's not some damn lie." Joe glanced over at Stella who was being pinned down. "Look we can settle this, we're reasonable men. First, we'll beat Daryl and Lev to death. Then we'll have the blonde. Then the woman and the boy. Then we'll kill you and we'll be square."

Stella felt a chill at her very core. The sound of Carl crying on the other side of the car, shot an explosion of hatred and violence through Stella making her desperately kick and squirm under the man's grasp. He held both her wrists together with one hand as the other travled over her body. Levi shouted and kicked violently making the man above him grin as if he found amusement in Levi's enraged responses every time he touched the girl under him. His hand traveled to the side of her face, where the governor had marked her skin with a scar, and brushed his thumb over the wound making Stella wince in pain.

"Who hurt this pretty little face of yours." His face was so close to hers at this point that she could feel his breath brush against her skin, making her feel utterly disgusted. But the man continued to grin, glancing up at Levi every now and then to provoke him, which seemed to work as he spat out his anger freely.

"You're fucking dead! Get your hands off her!"

He stripped her of Levis's jacket, which had been the only security that she had draped herself in. His hands danced over her hips and thighs.  She felt exposed and it didn't matter that she was still wearing a shirt since it didn't take long for the man to find the rim of it. His filthy hands traced under it, finding himself now under her shirt. She trembled at the feeling of his fingers, grazing her bare skin, traveling up to her chest. Tears poured from her eyes that she had squeezed shut in an attempt to drown out what was happening. She forced herself to prepare for it, knowing that she couldn't flee from his tight grip on her.

She attempted to roll over but she found herself stuck under the man, now with her stomach against the ground. The man chuckled behind her as he pressed her face against the leaves. She cried out at the sound of a zipper opening behind her and she made yet another failed attempt to escape. Dirt and mud stained her face and a foul taste filled her mouth everytime she tried to scream, letting the dirt inside.

Suddenly, a gunshot rang through the air. Stella didn't have to look up and investigate who had been hit as she noticed the opportunity landing in her lap. It was only for a brief second that the man tore his gaze from her, giving her a swift moment to act. She rolled back on her back and used her full force to pull her leg away from under his. he had both her legs pinned down with his own, but as he wasn't paying her his full attention she could easily slip out from under his weight. Her action made the man attach his gaze back on her but the girl was stronger this time. She forcefully brought her knee up to his crotch, making him hunch forward, loosening his grip on her wrists. She used the opportunity to reach for his holster where her fingers wrapped around the handle of a machete.

In a swift move, she slid away from under his frame before using her weapon to slice through the man's chest. She cut deep, watching him wail out in pain. His eyes widened and prickled with tears as blood began to stain his shirt and pour from his mouth. He trembled as he pressed against his wound and Stella could see the pain and fear in his eyes but it wasn't enough.

Ice-cold fury pulsed through her veins when she sat on top of him, bringing the machete through his chest again. The blood that flowed from the two wounds that she had created seemed to pour over Stella's sight making her see nothing but red as she once again drove the weapon into his chest, again and again and again. The man was long gone by now but she didn't stop. It didn't matter how much blood was splashing up at her, staining her face and clothes. Every time her weapon sliced through the man's chest she felt an unsettling sensation of satisfaction.

She continued to stab the man, sobbing and trembling as she did. She couldn't breathe or think. Every stab was slowly ripping up the stitches on her gun wound making her cry out in agony. However, none of this made her stop.

Suddenly, she felt two hands on her shoulders. She screamed and kicked violently. The two hands pulled her back and she felt herself landing in someone's lap. If she hadn't heard his voice in time she would've probably ended up stabbing him as well. Fortunately, she dropped the weapon in her hands at the sound of Levi's voice.
"It's okay, baby. I've got you. It's me."

The rabbit that she had eaten earlier threatened to come back up as she stared through tears at the scene that she had just created. There wasn't much left of the man's upper body except for guts pouring out and his now, chalk-white face. His eyes had rolled into the back of his head creating two white globes in his face and his mouth had fallen open after he took his last breath.

Stella lost control of her sobs and trembling body. She pressed herself against Levi's chest, letting his arms encircle her feeling the security wrap around her. The boy kept trying to reassure her that she was safe and that he had her but she didn't hear much over her own thundering heartbeats that were pounding against her rib cage so hard it hurt.

She tried to tell herself that she was okay. She made a hopeless attempt to pull herself together, to cherish the fact that she had reunited with the love of her life but she couldn't breathe or think. All she could do was stare mindlessly at the corpse in front of her, with tears covering her sight.

"Don't look." Levi ran a calming hand over her hair but nothing seemed to help her relax. Her trembling hands were covered in blood, that stretched so far up her arms it almost seemed like she had tried to cover them in blood. Her face was stained with blood as well as two lines that had formed from her trail of tears.

She caught a glimpse of herself in the reflection of the car and she looked almost unrecognisable but that wasn't the scariest part. The thing that frightened her the most was the fact that she not only felt satisfied while she had driven the machete though his chest, but she liked it. She enjoyed every second of it.

_____ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ _____
𝟒𝟗𝟐𝟑 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬
_____ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ _____

this chapter was so long.

writing this chapter was awful and so sad.