I woke up in the Emptiness again, a drop of light in a sea of darkness. I looked around and saw a person standing still not too far from me. Their silhouette wasn't well defined for they were wearing a cloak and a hood as dark as the pitch-black infinity around us. They were turning their back to me.

Is it the person I saw in my previous dream? Probably. I grew slightly scared to say the least : they did try to strangle me last time. Who are they?

"Who are you?" I asked, breaking the perfect silence.

They turned their head to look back at me over their shoulder. And I saw they were wearing a mask so white it almost seemed to shine in the dark.

That emotionless mask kind of frightened me but I still had the guts to speak again. "What did you mean last time? What did I do?" I asked.

The cloaked form turned around to face me properly. "You know it. You know the answer."

Their voice was monotonous, soft - not angry in the slightest. Definitely a man's voice. But this man appeared much less aggressive than the one from my previous dream. Yet something tells me they were the same person. It was that same voice that seemed to echo in stereo.

"No, I don't." I replied. "I am not the betrayer. I am the betrayed."

"How could you tell? You don't even know who you are." he retorted calmly.

Maybe my mind was tricking me, but it seemed like the mask was smiling at me. I reached out for it and tried to touch it, but the cloaked man seemed to be sliding back.

He turned away and ran away from me. It was like he was skidding in the darkness as some ungraspable shadow, his black cloak floating in his tracks.

I immediately chased after him. I pleaded him to stop. After a while - and to my greatest surprise - he did.

I bent over and rested my hands on my knees, panting to catch my breath. "Please... I.. need answers." I puffed out.

"Don't we all?" the man said, and I swear the mask smiled at me for a split second before going back to normal.

Am I losing my mind?

I gave up on trying to obtain clear answers from the cloaked man and instead stepped forwards. I found myself wishing he didn't run away again and to my surprise, he didn't.

I focused some more and tried to reach out for the white mask that was covering his face. The man didn't budge and let me extend my hand. I was expecting the cloaked man to vanish again anytime.

I held my breath when I finally succeeded in touching the white surface of the mask with my fingertips. I caught my lower lip between my teeth nervously.

I'm going to take it off. Finally, I'm about to see who the cloaked man is, and understand why I come here every time I dream.

The cloaked man didn't budge as I grabbed the edge of the mask. I was about to take it off when-

I gasped and woke up all sweaty. I took a quick look around, confused. No ! God damnit ! Why now?

I noticed my heart was beating a bit too fast for my own liking. I took a few deep breaths and focused on making it slow down.

Lindsey was out like a light, her head resting in the crook of my neck. We were still slumped on her couch. I gently moved her aside and sat up, panting slightly.

I hadn't had time to see the man's face or even the color of his skin. But my instinct told me he is not just anyone. But who could he be? What did I do to him? He didn't sound angry but... hurt.

I took a deep breath and started thinking. Whether it is before or after my coma, I never hurt anyone. I'm faithful and protective to all the people I love. Or maybe...

No, that's ridiculous. Why would Mikey be in such a nightmare? We never betrayed each other. We never fought and we deeply care about each other. No way he could ever hate me.

I thought for a moment about who that man could be, only to come up with a stupid theory - not stupid because it was impossible - but because it made no sense at all. So, I dismissed the thought.

I looked at my phone : it was 4:05. I brushed off all my thoughts and hypotheses and laid back down on the couch. I planted a kiss on my girlfriend's forehead and wrapped an arm around her. I closed my eyes and fell into a dreamless slumber.

•••

Lindsey and I went to school together, hand in hand. She gave me a kiss on the cheek. "You finish at 5 pm, right? Me too. We'll walk home together, okay?"

"Sure, baby." I pecked her lips. "I'll wait for you. Bye."

After several hours of class, the day was almost over. Last period, philosophy. I was exhausted and listening to philosophy when all you wish for is a comfortable bed to nap on was close to torture for me.

Yes, philosophy is clearly not on top of my favorite subjects list. How did you guess?

I sat on the front row next to Ray. Ten minutes after class had started, no one else than Frank Iero barged in and sat in the back row without any kind of apology.

Our teacher Mr. Stump scraped his throat. "Mr. Iero, care to explain why you were late, please?"

Frank shrugged. "Alarm clock problem. Sorry, it won't happen again."

He flashed a faked angelic smile at our teacher. I rolled my eyes, but Mr. Stump didn't scold Frank any further. "Alright everyone, please take a seat and open your books to page 322."

All students did as told. After a while of reading, I felt something hit the back of my head. I glanced down and saw a ball of crumpled paper. I looked back and saw the punk smirking at me. 'Stop it', I mouthed at him, but the savage flipped me off.

I turned back to the board, but I felt another ball of paper hit my head. "Hey !" I uttered out loud.

"Gerard," Mr. Stump called, making me look back at the board. "Could you tell us what you think of today's topic? With philosophical insights, of course."

"Um, sure Mr. Stump." I glanced at today's topic, written on the blackboard.

'Is pleasure correlated to happiness?'

I stood up as all students do when Mr. Stump ask us to demonstrate something. "According to Aristotle, pleasure can seem like happiness, but it isn't a goal, but rather a means to reach a permanent state of happiness. True happiness can only be reached through virtue, which means the balance between absence and excess."

What? I dislike philosophy, that doesn't mean I can't work the subject a little.

Ray, who was sitting next to me, raised his hand. "Like in Star Wars, Sir? The grey Jedis?"

Mr. Stump raised an eyebrow. "Care to develop your thought, Ray?"

"Well, in the Jedi code it's said that Jedis must feel no emotion, whereas the Siths use the strongest emotions to gain power. But grey Jedis choose balance instead of these two ways of using the force." Ray explained. "So... Did the grey Jedis actually read Aristotle or something?"

"Well, maybe George Lucas did... Anyway, that is a valid comparison Ray, thank you." Mr. Stump nodded. "Sorry for interrupting, Gerard. Please keep going."

I scraped my throat slightly. "Yeah, so, Epicurus suggests that there are different types of pleasure. On the one hand, the 'pleasures in action' that are minor because they only last while the action lasts-"

"-Like blowjobs." Frank interrupted. I glared back at him, and he winked at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes um, I-I guess so." Mr. Stump said awkwardly. "But please find more appropriate examples, Frank."

"Anyways, on the other hand there are the 'static pleasures' to feel moderately because the lack of pleasure causes pain." I resumed. "So, happiness can only be reached by controlling pain and getting rid of everything that might upset and hurt you."

Mr. Stump nodded. "Thank you Gerard, that was excellent thinking. I hope everyone took notes."

And then Iero yawned exaggeratedly loudly. "Boooring!" he chanted.

"Frank, this is your first warning and there won't be a second. Could you please be a little more respectful of your classmate's work?" Mr. Stump scolded. "How about you share a reasoning with the class instead of yawning?"

I looked back at Iero tauntingly as I sat down. This punk won't succeed in saying one philosophical sentence. He probably doesn't even know who Kant, Nietzsche and Spinoza are.

Frank rolled his eyes, stood up and took the time to stretch himself. "Alright..."

Frank took a second to think, nibbling on his lip ring, and a few people turned to him. I did too and looked at him intently. I was about to scoff and decide that he wasn't even worth my attention when he began speaking.

"Well, there's... that one dude... who talks about a will he names 'the will to live'. It's an essence that makes everyone want to keep on living and that creates desire - sexual desire, for example. But that's it. There's no sense to life, no reason to exist. We could have very well not existed at all. The world is absurd."

I turned around to make sure I wasn't dreaming, and it was Frank speaking. I noticed everyone was just as taken aback as me. Frank continued ever so casual, words easily flowing out of his mouth like everything was obvious.

"And so satisfying desires doesn't bring anything because desires cause pleasure since they are the manifestation of our will. And indulging a desire is ending it, like a flame we pour water onto."

Frank seemed emotionless, but by peering at his face carefully enough, I could barely catch the slightest glimpse of a tiny crack in his mask of seriousness. Or maybe I was just imagining things, maybe my mind was trying to find an excuse to make him more emotional, more human.

Frank continued. "We are never happy. We only realize we were happy once we are not anymore. And then we suffer. Until the day we stop suffering, but if we don't suffer at all then we end up being bored. Life oscillates like a pendulum, from pain to boredom."

There was an absolute silence in the classroom, until all students started clapping for him. Socially speaking, I was obligated to imitate them not to appear rude. I hated it, and I hated how beautiful his speech was. I looked at Iero. I would have expected a taunting, proud smirk at me. But he stayed grave and didn't even look at me.

"Except," I spoke up once people had stopped clapping. "What Mr. Iero and Schopenhauer's pessimistic point of view didn't account for is that there are two outlets to this doom. First, pity. If we all suffer, we can recognize our pain in others' and feel compassion."

Frank gave me a weird look. I had no idea what it meant but it was kind of a stern glare.

"Secondly, art. According to Schopenhauer - and I can only agree - art can allow us to escape our 'will of living' without giving up on it. It can even create an ideal out of our pain." I concluded.

"Yes, but to what end? Life is nothing but a perpetual fight we lead with the certitude of being beaten." Iero retorted.

"I find you very hooked on the pessimistic insights of philosophy, Frankie." I blurted out annoyedly. "Maybe try not to forget half of your lesson and think a little more, at least."

"Oh, fuck off Mr. Perfect !" Iero snapped.

"Frank !" Mr. Stump exclaimed. "I gave you a warning and you just crossed the line. You just earned yourself an hour of detention tomorrow."

I discreetly flipped Frank off, smirking at him, but Mr. Stump happened to be looking at me and saw it. "You too, Gerard. Saturday morning, 9 am sharp."

"Sir, that's unfair !" I protested.

"Gerard, Frank was disrespectful to you, but I don't think a middle finger is a sign of maturity and respect either. You two will be in detention tomorrow. Period."

I huffed and glared at Frank, my eyes like daggers. Frank's jaw was clutched, and he mouthed something to me.

'You're dead'.

My heart skipped a beat, and a sudden fear replaced the indignation. Frank looked angrier than usual. Who knows what he could do to me in detention? No way Mr. Stump is cancelling my detention but maybe I can convince him to move it to another day.

The second the bell started ringing, Frank rushed out of the classroom as usual, followed by our fellow classmates. I told Ray not to wait for me. A lump grew in my throat, and I went to Mr. Stump's desk while the last people left.

I was about to speak but Mr. Stump spoke up before me. "Gerard, what I saw today wasn't like you. You're usually so serious, what happened?"

"I'm so sorry, Sir. That wasn't like me. It won't happen again."

"Mhm. Anyway, I want you to know I'll put that day on the account of exhaustion. You've been through a lot. I know you dislike philosophy; you don't have that spark of passion other students like Frank have, but I know you're working hard, and that's very honorable of you."

I nodded. Mr. Stump knew the words to warm my heart. "Thank you."

"Gerard. You're a brilliant mind, but you're also a very anxious boy. You should relax a little, hm? Don't let yourself be provoked or let your emotions get the best of you. Remember your own speech : happiness is all about balance."

"You... you're right. There's something to learn from this punishment." I muttered sadly. "It's an opportunity to study."

Mr. Stump hummed and put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm proud of you, Gerard. We all are."

"Thank you, Sir. It's... It's nice to hear."

"Before I go, didn't you want to ask me something?" Mr. Stump asked.

"Um, uh..."

It felt as if my heart got pinched. I must be mature and face the consequences of my actions. Maybe I could talk to Iero, make peace with him... He's not completely heartless, is he?

Besides, it's such a shame asking such a favor to Mr. Stump. I'm so weak I can even stand up for myself. I can't just admit I'm a wimp getting bullied.

I gave Mr. Stump a fake smile. "No, not at all. Have a nice evening, Sir."

"Thanks, Gerard. You do too." My professor saluted me before leaving. I went to my desk and packed my bag, then headed out.

The second I was out, I was pinned roughly on the wall. "F-Frank... I- wait-" I blurted out, alarmed.

"So, you think you can humiliate me in front of everyone and not face the consequences?" my bully fumed. The sassy part of me would have answered 'since when do you and the rags you're wearing care about people's opinion', but I kept my mouth shut for obvious reasons of survival. At the moment I was too terrified to speak correctly anyway.

Frank let out a despiseful scoff. "You have this nasty habit of flipping me off." he remarked and grabbed one of my wrists. "Maybe if I break your middle fingers, you'll know your place. You'll know you have to fucking respect me."

"NO!" I yelped, wriggling my wrist out of his grasp and thrashing so he couldn't catch it again. I was full on panicking, borderline crying. I managed to push him away by shoving his chest.

"Frank, please stop." I whimpered. "I- I- just leave me alone. I'll stop interacting with you, I'll do your homework or whatever, but please, leave me alone." I begged.

"You think it's that easy to get away with what you've done?" he spoke sternly, somewhat angrily. "You betrayed me !"

At Frank's words, my head started buzzing unpleasantly and I felt a little dizzy.

"HEY !" a feminine voice yelled from the other side of the hallway. Lindsey. She was walking towards us angrily, her fists balled. Thank God...

"Frank Anthony Thomas Iero Junior, I swear to God if you don't back off right now I'll turn that thing you call a face into modern art !" she threatened. Once again, Frank found himself outnumbered.

Frank threw me a glare and let go of me. "You're lucky your bitch is here to defend you, Way. But she won't be here tomorrow, and neither will Mikey or your friends. It will be just you and me. See you in detention, crybaby."

"Don't you dare call my girlfriend a bitch !" I shouted at Frank who was walking away - not very credible with my teary eyes. Frank flipped me off, not even bothering to turn back.

Lindsey knew I would have started a fight with Frank because it was now about her, so she held me back. "Drop it, Gee. He's not worth it."

Once Frank was out of sight, we walked out of school hand in hand. I was feeling sick and anxious because of everything happening in my life. I thought about Frank and Lindsey's encounter, a few minutes ago.

"Lindsey... There's something I don't understand. He called you a bitch, and you two are obviously not friends at all anymore. But if you hate each other, then what does Frank want with me?" I asked her.

Lindsey took the time to think. "I don't know. Frank... He has anger issues and doesn't always make much sense. I really don't know."

Mmh. So, Frank doesn't hate me because he wants Lindsey. I was completely wrong about that. Then... Why?

Frank's words came back to me. 'You betrayed me.'

What does that mean? What did I do? Those questions were enough to give me an awful migraine that basically knocked me out to sleep as soon as I hit my mattress, along with my sobs of fear that came at the thought of tomorrow's detention.

______