It started raining when I arrived at the cemetery. At least the weather reflected my mood pretty accurately. It was constantly drizzling inside my head.

It wasn't quite cold enough outside to make me shiver. The cool wind was playing a quiet melody with the branches of the naked trees and the evergreen leaves that wouldn't waltz in the air like the others.

The sun was absent, hidden under a mattress of thick clouds that painted the whole sky a light grey.

It was odd how beautiful autumn could be, because everything around us was either dying or falling into a deep sleep. I guessed that is why we call it 'fall'.

But the colors that made the whole beauty of it had tarnished, yet without giving way to the immaculate snow nor to the clear blue sky.

In this instant, we were in the middle of a painful transition between two beautiful phases of life. Once again, I guessed that illustrated my current situation perfectly.

I wandered around the foggy cemetery for a little while, until I found what I was looking for. Helena's grave. She was there, lying in the ground below me, beginning her eternal sleep. I wished I had thought to bring her flowers.

I fell on my knees in front of the tombstone and sobs started making me shake. I closed my eyes and looked down. So... This is it? It's over? I stay here, and she goes away?

My tears got lost in the middle of the raindrops falling on my face. It seemed that the more I cried, the more it was raining. I should have brought something to cover myself.

Suddenly, the rain stopped soaking me - but what surprised me was that the noise it made hadn't. I opened my eyes; it was still raining. I looked up and saw I had an umbrella being held above my head. I looked behind me.

Frank.

He was there, behind me, holding an umbrella above me in spite of the army of raindrops that had started attacking him as soon as he had given up on his own protection.

He looked pained - perhaps was he empathizing with me. Something was telling me that I was going to have to get accustomed to that look on his face. It suited him more than the angry frown - that doesn't mean I wished him to be miserable for that reason.

Frank sat down next to me, hiding us both under his black umbrella. He didn't speak a word. He granted me the silence he knew I needed.

How did he know? How could he? Only hypotheses could be made. And most of them revealed a tragic side of Frank's character I could never had seen a few weeks ago - maybe because he would never have let me see it.

How foolish was I back then to think I could see and understand all the complexity of his entire being at first sight?

I looked back at the tombstone and the name carved on it. "I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how much she mattered to you," Frank said quietly. "It's okay if you need to cry, I won't judge."

I didn't know if it was the mention of crying or the kind words Frank had spoken, but I started crying again. I sensed an arm being wrapped around me, then a second one pulling me into a supportive hug I would have declined if Frank had asked me. But once I was in his arms, I realized how much I needed the embrace and completely let go of all my tears on Frank's shoulder.

"Shhh... She's gone, Gerard. You have to let her go. You can't bring her back," Frank said softly - I even perceived a hint of sadness in his voice.

I nodded against his shoulder, whimpering. "T-thank you. Thank you for telling me," I sobbed out. Frank muttered an 'of course' and hugged me the best he could while holding his umbrella.

After a while, I managed to focus on Frank's presence that was helping me calm down and stop crying. It's surprising how more bearable it is to suffer with someone else than suffer alone - especially when that 'someone else' understands so perfectly the pain you are going through.

"What are you doing here? In a cemetery?" I finally asked Frank the question that was running at the back of my mind as I reluctantly pulled back from the embrace.

Frank peered at me intently, scanning my eyes. He seemed less focused on them than his own thought though, as if he were pondering whether he should be honest or not .

"Can I show you something?" he asked so quietly that his voice almost got muted by the falling rain and carried far away from my ears by the wind.

Of course, I nodded. Curiosity got the best of me. So, we stood up and I found myself holding Frank's umbrella for the both of us. We walked silently side by side for a couple of minutes during which I studied Frank's features more than I was watching my own steps.

Finally, Frank stopped before two twin graves and sat down silently in front of them. I imitated him and looked at the names carved on the gravestones.

'Linda Iero, beloved wife and mother'
'Frank Iero Sr., beloved husband and father'

I looked at Frank whose eyes were hooked on the tombstones. And then I understood. Oh my God...

"I... I didn't know. I'm so sorry," I muttered, wishing my words sounded as genuine to Frank as they were felt.

I was expecting some silent prayer or simply staying quiet for a minute, but Frank soon gave me a bit of an explanation. "They left me when I was 14. My mother died of cancer."

"And... What about your father?"

"My father committed suicide as soon as he learnt about his wife's death. He couldn't live without her. That's true love. And that's beautiful but... They left me behind..." Frank ended in a whisper that betrayed how much he was hurting.

Poor Frank. I had no idea... In terms of pain, I clearly haven't experienced half as much as he did - and probably still does daily. I could only imagine the unspeakable pain he went through.

"I'm sorry," I felt the need to apologize again, seeing the tears slowly well in Frank's eyes. I knew there was nothing more painful than holding back tears just for some poor virility stereotypes.

"Don't be," Frank simply said. I noticed he was staring down and gingerly fiddling with his necklace. The one I had never seen him without. His two silvery angel wings, faithfully hanging around his neck as always.

''All sorrows can be bearable if you put them in a story." I tilted my head to get a better angle to see Frank's face and perhaps even decipher his expressions. What is that necklace's story?''

I had forgotten about my own pain, and I was more than ready to hear about Frank's. Even if our losses weren't quite comparable, we still had lost people we cared about deeply. We knew how the other one was feeling.

"It reminds me of my parents," Frank confessed. "I consider that these two wings represent each of my parents' souls. Like these wings belong to them. When I look at this necklace, I always remember that they are angels in Heaven, happy together for all eternity."

"You've never taken it off, have you..." I asked, my eyes hooked on Frank's. He was only looking at his angel wings. I guess it made it easier to put words on what they represented to him.

Frank shook his head. "It took her years to die, you know? My mom, I mean. I watched her decay for a large part of my childhood. She gave me this necklace during her chemo, telling me to keep faith and never lose hope, whatever may happen to her. Retrospectively, she probably already knew that she wasn't going to make it, at the time. But I didn't. I only understood everything that necklace implied and truly represented once she was gone."

Frank squeezed the angel wings in his hand as if he were afraid that the necklace might fly away. I listened to these tragic words he uttered.

"Perhaps she also knew what my father would do once she passed," Frank said. "I've never taken this necklace off since the day they died. When I look at it, I see what it made me and what I will become once I meet with fate. I see my end in my beginning."

"All of our endings can be found in our beginnings. History repeats itself. And the future always rhythms with the past, for better or worse," I stated.

Frank looked up at the rainy sky, pierced with thin rays of light. ''I believe that all the ones who die for love belong in Heaven. And this is the only way I want to die."

"Like your parents. You think you will join them if you do," I thought out loud.

Frank is kept alive by his hopes. In my opinion, he is much braver than he thinks. He knows how fragile his strength is. He's brave because of his greatest hope's absolute lack of certitude. He bases his whole life and death on a simple intuition.

Frank hummed. "Somehow, I know they are in Heaven. Two angels watching above me. And I keep going every day, for them. I don't want to fail where they did. To fail at living. But it looks like I am, and it's so hard without them..." Frank suddenly let out a quiet, dry sob.

Then the tears started rolling silently on his cheeks as he stared at his parents' graves. I had seen that look of despair in someone's eyes before. In my own.

"Frank... Are you crying?" I asked softly.

Frank shook his head and wiped his face. "It's the rain. Raindrops."

I glanced at the umbrella above our heads. Yes Frank, sure. Raindrops.

"It was so sudden, you know?" Frank broke the silence after a couple of minutes staring at the rain. "I'm convinced that things always happen for a reason. I wouldn't dream of changing the past. I just wish they could come back one last time, even for a minute, so I could tell them goodbye..."

Frank wasn't hiding his tears anymore, he just let them roll quietly. A part of me just felt so terrible for Frank, and for misjudging him. And another part of me... I couldn't explain it if I tried, but I had this urge to do it. I don't know what took over me.

I placed my free hand that wasn't holding the umbrella on Frank's cheek to make him look at me. My eyes met his teary one, and my lips met his.

Frank must have been really taken aback because he didn't kiss back. I pulled back by fear that the kiss might have been completely uncalled for. However, as I did so, Frank immediately cupped my cheeks and pulled me back into the kiss.

I dropped the umbrella I had been holding to wrap my arms around Frank's neck. Frank rested his hands gently on either side my jaw. Our lips moved together in a slow, sensual kiss. We were so caught in the moment that we completely dismissed the cold downpour drenching us to the bone.

The kiss progressively slowed down and stopped. I pulled away and as my face was turning increasingly red, I asked myself 'why did I do that?' - although I already knew the answer, and the main question should have been 'why did I enjoy it?'.

At this point, bringing the umbrella above our heads would have been pointless, considering how soaked we were.

Frank seemed almost as surprised as me by the kiss, but he quickly collected himself. His tears had stopped rolling, which I internally congratulated myself for.

The little smile Frank gave me for a split second after I broke the kiss was worth all the thanks in the world.

Unfortunately, this elation was short lived. Gloom came back in Frank's eyes, and I knew when I saw them that they weren't just reflecting the sky. Frank was broken.

"The optimist thinks he lives in the most beautiful world. The pessimist fears that it's true. There is no better life for me. That's the best I'll ever get," Frank said quietly, confirming my theory.

"Then you better make the most of it and stay blessed with optimism," I said.

"Optimism is a delusion."

I tilted my head slightly. "You say this like it's a bad thing. We all need hope. No matter what we have hopes for. You have hopes too, I know it. You just told them to me. This is what keeps you alive."

Frank scoffed lightly. "In a nutshell, I just hope to forget about the past. I'm really wondering why you want to remember yours. Why do I even need hopes for?"

"To keep your sanity." I shrugged. "To keep on living. Happiness has nothing to do with knowledge and memories. It's all about the mindset, the environment, and the present. And in my case, I think I would actually be at peace if I knew the truth about my lost memories. Then I would be able to move on. I can only know where I'll go if I know where I'm coming from."

Frank hummed. I put a hand on his shoulder. "Please. I know I can take it."

He peered at me and eventually spoke. "I... I have something to tell you."

I frowned, intrigued. "What?"

"Everything that happened before the accident, everything you forgot. I think you deserve the truth. I know you're strong enough to handle it. Come to my place, Blondie. I will tell you everything I know."

The accident? How does Frank know about it? I knew it; Frank knows more than he is telling. He is the key that will open the door to my memories trapped in my subconscious.

Once again, curiosity got the best of me, and I followed Frank out of the cemetery to finally discover the whole truth.

______

You guys are sooo NOT ready for the next chapter. Prepare for revelations.