Real smut coming right ahead! I warned you ;)

Atsushi had missed the past three debates. Dazai always had an excuse ready for the director, it was either, "He's super sick" or "He had a dentist appointment" or "He's actually looking to transfer Universities, he's in a meeting with our faculty right now" that one really made Akutagawa writhe. They were all lies; it was so blatant that Dazai was covering for Atsushi because he didn't want to see Akutagawa.

Dazai made that known in all fairness.

The first time Atsushi was missing from the team, Akutagawa wasn't surprised. He was absolutely horrid to him, he knew that. He'd never forgive himself for what he'd said to Atsushi, for making him cry like that. So, Akutagawa anticipated that he'd taken a miss on the trip to cool his head and recover.

The second time he was missing Akutagawa guessed he could've been avoiding him. Actually no, he knew he was avoiding him from the way he'd ignored all three of his miscalls, and all of his text messages. Which, by the way, Akutagawa was absolutely convinced that he'd turned his read receipts on because there was no way in hell Atsushi would read all of his messages and still not call him back. After that debate, he'd cornered Dazai and asked how his friend was doing, but the man didn't even spare him a glance let alone acknowledge him.

So, by the third time, Akutagawa was pissed. He was well aware that he had no right to be angry with Atsushi, and in truth, he wasn't angry with him as a person. It was the concept of him not even letting Akutagawa apologize. He wouldn't even listen to what he had to say. At this point, Akutagawa was fully ready to share every little detail with him, he'd tell him anything he wanted to know to make Atsushi feel better. He'd do anything to make him feel better.

But Atsushi wasn't letting him.

However, whenever Dazai came home after a debate Atsushi didn't ask if they won, or what the questions were. He always asked if Akutagawa was there, or how Akutagawa looked. He'd even text Chuuya a couple of times to ask how their debates went just so he could ask about Akutagawa.

Chuuya actually text Atsushi once Akutagawa had gotten home from their date because it was painfully obvious that his usually stone-cold flatmate had been crying. Knowing that made Atsushi cry more, it made Atsushi feel like it was his fault. After all, he'd pushed Aktugawa to hold his hand, he was the reason they were in that shop in the first place; but whenever he mentioned those theories to Dazai he was vehemently told that it wasn't his fault, that Akutagawa chose to do what he did and that Akutagawa was the only one to blame.

They were both messes. Sad, Angry messes.

So, it was no surprise when Atsushi finally decided to turn up to a debate that all hell broke loose.

The debate itself went fine, it was about tuition fees and young adult debt. For once, Atsushi's team won cut and dry. Although that definitely had something to do with the fact that Chuuya was holding back, he was clearly being a lot more considerate of the other team now that he'd comfortably befriended Atsushi.

After an awkward hour of Atsushi avoiding Akutagawa's burning stare, they were signaled by the director to leave as he did. Atsushi had absolutely no intention of talking to Akutagawa, he was going to follow his teammates out of the room, pile onto the bus go home and watch Marley and Me; yet he followed slowly behind his team, taking all the time in the world to pack up his things until it was just Atsushi and Akutagawa in the room, with Ranpo halfway out the door. When Ranpo was almost out of sight, and Atsushi was reaching for the steadily closing door, Akutagawa made his move.

Atsushi was was sharply tugged back into the now-empty debate room and practically dragged away from the doors until he firmly dug his heels in and refused to get any further from the exit. Aktugawa was in front of him, forehead creased in distress with clear purple hues under his eyes.

It was obvious he'd been just as worried as Atsushi about how things ended, at this point weeks ago. The only difference was Akutagawa knew what he wanted, Atsushi didn't. Atsushi was fighting off so many unnecessary thoughts In rapid concession. What if Akutagawa never opened up to him? What if he continued to hide his sexuality and surpass it? What if he hurt him again? What if Dazai didn't support his decisions? What if Fyodor—

"Atsushi please listen—" Akutagawa began, an almost hopeful twinge in his voice. He was stood an arm's length away from the shorter boy, his back blocking the exit to the way back to the bus. He was going to make Atsushi listen, one way or another. He had to get him to listen.

"No" Atsushi sighed calmly, taking a long stride forward as he tried to push past the tall man in front of him, but Akutagawa was quick to slide left and right to keep him in place, "I have nothing to say to you, please move." There was a very distinct sadness to Atsushi's voice like he'd given up, like he'd already decided an outcome for whatever he was thinking, and it wasn't a happy resolve. That punched Akutagawa right in the gut.

"You don't have to say anything please just listen" Akutagawa begged, "please just let me explain—"

"I don't want your shitty explanations Akutagawa!" Atsushi yelled, trying this time to physically shove past him, "Get out of my way!"

The more Atsushi overthought, the longer he looked at Akutagawa without knowing what was going to happen next, the angrier he got. The more frustrated he was, the more he wanted to just run away and pretend as nothing had ever happened and that the beautifully tragic man in front of him was nothing but a figment of his imagination.

Before Atsushi could even reach him, Akutagawa lunged forward, grabbing him by the forearms and shoving him hard into the back of one of the wooden tables, albeit a little too harshly but it kept Atsushi from running away. He squeezed lightly on his thin arms, rubbing slightly as a nonverbal apology.

"Will you just stop for one fucking second!" Akutagawa had resorted to yelling, all the feelings of regret and self-hatred and anger rushing to the surface, but he still needed to explain "Fyodor is a family friend, he—"

"He's a homophobic asshole!" Atsushi yelled, finally looking the man in the eyes. His heart was beyond the point of racing, he was so annoyed he was shaking where he stood. If Akutagawa let go of his arms, he'd probably sink to the floor. But even then, there was absolutely no way that he was going down without a fight this time, he deserved to let his emotions out. Deserved to let Akutagawa know how hurt he was.

Steel grey eyes seemed to stutter for a second, a flash of guilt washing over them before it was quickly replaced with annoyance "Yes he is, I know that! I'm well fucking aware of that; but if I didn't do something, he would've told my Mum that I'm gay and I'm not!" It was as if a bomb had gone off in Akutagawa's brain, destroying his ability to think before he spoke and acted "It's not my fault you were being so fucking obvious about liking me."

Atsushi expected a plethora of things to happen during the duration of this little scrap, but being so directly confronted about his feelings was not one of them, his reaction? Denial, "I don't like you!—"

Akutagawa's eyes narrowed, his face suddenly becoming very serious as he squeezed hard on Atsushi's arms. That action should've hurt, should've convinced Atsushi to calm down but it didn't. No, instead it made his heart thump in his ears and his skin tingle with want. "I don't like liars Atsushi."

That statement all about blew Atsushi's mind, "Do you have any sense of hypocrisy in your body? You have the audacity to say that you don't like lairs when you're lying to your family! Your lying to yourself about being gay! —"

"I'm not gay!"

"Yeah? Ok fine! if you're not gay, then I don't like you—mhf"

Atsushi had a lot of things in life to be embarrassed about, but the way he instantly moaned into Akutagawa's hot mouth when he suddenly kissed him took the cake by a long shot. He couldn't help himself, if Atsushi was eve then Akutagawa was one big fucking apple because his lips parted immediately to embrace the press of Akutagawa's soft tongue. He shivered at the feeling of having his mouth filled, being licked at and tasted, roughly savored so deeply it almost hurt.

It was like he could feel everything Aktugawa wanted to say. He could feel the soft tenderness of an apology whenever his tongue lapped at the inside of his mouth, he could feel the frustration whenever he leaned in for more, strangled air shooting out of his nose, prying Atsushi's mouth apart just so he could go back in and kiss him impossibly deeper like he was delivering another apology.

Akutagawa cradled the back of his head and Atsushi melted away entirely. That was the last straw; he was done for. Atsushi reaches up and stands on his tippy toes, deepening the kiss with a turn of his head, Akutagawa makes a pleased humming noise and it buzzes in Atsushi's ears.

Atsushi was on the verge of being devoured and god, he wanted to be.

Akutagawa gently slid his large hands to Atsushi's hips, massaging them in a way that made Atsushi whimper. Every little caress made Atsushi grow hotter, made his spine tingle and his mind race and his cock throb, his heart was rattling against his ribs with a sickening level of desire that was threatening to tear him open like that one scene in the alien film.

Atsushi's hand somehow managed to grab onto the front of the man's shirt, tugging at it lightly and encouraging him forward until they were fully pressed together, and Atsushi then decided that his ideal weight would be Akutagawa on top of him. He could feel the other man's length pressed up against him, so thick and full and ready, straining in his trousers.

Akutagawa pulled away, reveling in the feeling of watching Atsushi try to chase his lips as he did so.

"For someone who doesn't like me" Aktugawa almost moaned, voice deep and husky and dripping with arousal. Next thing Atsushi knew, he had a thigh in between his legs. He yelped in shock, but it quickly turned into a whine as Akutagawa pressed into his groin gently. Making it painfully obvious that he could feel the heavy tent in Atsushi's trousers, "You sure are eager."

Akutagawa's lips pressed tenderly to the side of Atsushi's mouth and all along long his jaw before settling in a particularly sensitive spot just under his ear. Atsushi's neck rolled back, giving Akutagawa more access than he needed, almost begging him to do whatever the hell he liked with him.

Atsushi was panting, out of breath from the sheer volume of adrenaline ripping through his limbs, "F—for someone who isn't gay" Atsushi let a moan rip through him when Aktugawa gently bit down onto his sensitive spot, "Y—you sure like kissing men."

"Not true," he groaned into his neck, lips ghosting their way back up towards Atsushi's mouth.

"You little—"

"Not men," He practically whispered, expression soft as his hands trailed up to cup the sides of Atsushi's face once more, forcing him to look at him, "just you," he breathed, his shaky fingers working soft delicate circles into the boy's cheeks, eyes darting around his stunned face to find any hints of disbelief or aggression but there was none. He just looked up in awe, mouth pretty, swollen, and glossy, he groaned at the sight "it's just you."

Atsushi's throat felt raw suddenly, mind positively racing as he was sucked into those grey eyes with no means of escape, "You can't say things like that." Atsushi couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe that a person as beautiful, elegant, stubborn, strong-willed, and impossibly soft and caring could like someone as plain as him.

But at the same time, he could believe it; because Akutagawa's eyes were sparkling down at him as if he had a severe case of tunnel vision, and he couldn't possibly see anyone else. It hurt, that volume of emotion hurt; but it was the good kind of hurt. The kind of hurt that'll make you cry because you can't believe how fucking lucky you are to have found some who looks at you like you're the only person they've ever seen.

"I can if it's true." Akutagawa muttered, nervous hands gliding away from Atsushi's stunned face and burying themselves softly in the back on his hair, scratching lightly with dull nails in a way that Atsushi found so ridiculously comforting.

Atsushi's brain was vastly shutting down, he wasn't even thinking in words anymore. He thought in terms of how surprisingly solid Akutagawa's thigh felt pushed between his legs, how his mouth was practically watering at the sight of him being even slightly disheveled, or how his cheeks were flushing brighter and brighter by the second.

Atsushi had no words, none that would make any sense at least. So instead he sank himself down on Akutagawa's thigh and yanked him down to his level by the front of his shirt, mouth swallowing the man's low growl in a deep kiss. The hands in Atsushi's hair weren't soft anymore, they were harsh and tugging out a string of desperate moans which drove Akutagawa to the very brink of his self-control.

Which, by the way, he had very little of.

He drove his knee up the wooden bench, sliding Atsushi forward until he was on his thigh completely. Atsushi's legs clenching around the lean muscle involuntarily as he latched onto Akutagawa's shirt in an attempt to keep himself stable, but a pair of large hands had already grabbed his hips, stopping his movements entirely.

His cock was aching, practically begging for any kind of friction it could get. He let out a whimper, feeling Akutagawa's light breath above his lip, taunting him. His eyes felt too heavy to open, but he managed it and when he glanced up his cock twitched at the sight of Akutagawa smirking down at him.

"Your bus is going to leave without you" He grinned as he slipped a hand under Atsushi's shirt, feeling the soft lean muscle of his abdomen, eyes darkening with desire as he watched his heaving lungs shudder out a pleading whine.

"Wh—at" Atsushi sighed, "I can't go home like—" He gulped, trying his best to swallow his embarrassment but of course, his pale cheeks always betrayed him.

"Like what? Atsushi" Aktugawa teased, letting a long finger lightly trace the button of his jeans. He literally felt his cock jump off his thigh at the sheer implication of being touched. It was insanely hot, "Are you going to answer?" Aktugawa pushed, watching as Atsushi shuddered both on top and beneath him.

Atsushi gulped, legs clenching of their own accord making it even harder to focus on speaking, "H--hard" he whispered, eyes clenched shut in mortification.

Akutagawa let a deep rumble of a laugh tumble out of his chest as he leaned in close to Atsushi's ear, the hands on his hips tightening suggestively as he said, "Then ride me."

Atsushi's eyes shot open, "I—" he wanted to, god fucking damn it, he'd never wanted anything more in his life but "It'll be...sticky" Atsushi spoke tentatively, not sure how to word anything he wanted to say anymore.

To his surprise, and utter pleasure, Akutagawa didn't seem to care about his pathetic reasoning. He dug his nails into Atsushi's hips, leaving little crescents to bruise over time, leaving him no option but to jump forward. Akutagawa guided him slowly, the friction was delicious. "A—Aku" he moaned out, the new nickname shamelessly as the thigh beneath him started to bob up and down, pushing Atsushi impossibly closer.

"Oh God," Atsushi mewled, shoulders shaking. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

The sensation is remarkable, pure bliss, and Atsushi is quaking from the delicious rhythm of Akutagawa's bobbing thigh, making that unmistakable pit in his stomach grow and grow at an alarming rate until he's on the verge of coming and crying all at once.

Atsushi thought the sound of Akutagawa's voice would be a pleasant distraction from his impending embarrassment, but if anything it unraveled him so much quicker than he thought was even possible, "Cum for me Atsushi, I know you can do it."

And he did do it, he came hard and fast in his pants on Akutagawa's thigh in the middle of the debate room like a high school slut. He was exhausted, the feeling of cum in his pants disgusted him but there was nothing he could do about that now. He nearly whined when Akutagawa removed his thigh, revealing just how weak he'd made his legs.

Akutagawa placed a hand under Atsushi's chin, forcing him to look up, he could see the discomfort in his eyes, "Think about it this way, now every time you take a step you'll remember how much I want you." He even had the audacity to wink at him when he said that.

"Not helping" Atsushi grumbled.

"Then next time I promise, I'll clean you up" Aktugawa sighed, pressing an almost laughable innocent kiss on Atsushi's temple.

Atsushi's eyes went wide, "Next time?" He asked, like a hopeful lovesick child.

Akutagawa nodded, "Next time," The man looked around catching the large clock on the wall, "For now, you do really need to catch that bus."

Atsushi knew he was right, they weren't going to wait for him forever; but his eyes trailed down to the incredibly prominent dent in Akutagawa's pants, and his mouth watered all over again, "But you..." he trailed off, hoping he'd get the memo.

He did, shoving his hands in his trouser pockets and grabbing his solid length to readjust it to be more discreet. Atsushi didn't feel bad about wishing it was his hand touching it anymore.

"Bus Atsushi, we'll talk later ok?" Atsushi nodded, earning an oddly silly grin from the taller man, "Good boy" He praised, nearly making Atsushi hard all over again.

And so, with the promises of next time and conversations Atsushi headed to the car park, every step was completely and utterly disgusting and what was even worse was that he regretted nothing.

3093 words <3

Have a nice dayy