It was natural for Atsushi to always find a way to blame himself for things, even if he'd done nothing wrong. Like, as a kid in the orphanage he'd always think it was his fault if there wasn't enough food to go around, even after giving up his portion. If he was roughly bumped into on the street, he'd always apologize because he blamed himself for taking up so much room. It was an endless cycle, a cycle that even Dazai hadn't managed to break yet. In all honesty, he'd accepted that the habit of self-blame would probably follow him his whole life. Yet, in all his years of condemnation, he'd never quite felt this bad about something.

But if there was one trait that was on par with Atsushi's self-depreciation, it was his surprising tenacity. If he thought he'd done wrong, he'd apologize. No matter what it took. Which is why he was currently raking through Dazai's laptop for a certain someone's contact information.

He locked himself in their shared bathroom and opened the skype app with shaky fingers, and after a couple of deep breaths he worked up the courage to call.

For a couple of minutes it was just Atsushi, the sound of a dripping tap and the monotone ringing of the call echoing off the bathroom tiles; he was nervous, but not as nervous as he'd normally be in a situation as daring as this. He wasn't quite sure if he should thank someone else or blame himself for that change; but he was trying his best to welcome it, to accept it as part of his personality. Like, when you unlock a new game character, he'd just unlocked a new level to himself. He needed to work on it to make it better, so he understood it more, and then eventually it'd be like. Well, like it was always there.

When the call connected Atsushi stretched tall, sitting like he had a higher level of confidence than the amount he truly had.

"It's about time you called me back you—Oh—" The ginger's eyes were wide in surprise, lips pressed in a thin like as the cogs in his head turned, "Atsushi? Whats—"

"Can you give me Akutagawa's number?" He blurted out eagerly, worried that Chuuya would hang up at any given moment.

"Huh?" He shook his head softly, long hair flying about his face obscuring his field of view "Look dude—"

"Please Chuuya, I need to talk to him" Atsushi was sat, lurched forward on the closed toilet seat so clearly begging the man on the other end of the call, but Chuuya didn't seem to understand what was happening. Or if he did, he wanted nothing to do with it and Atsushi wasn't going to settle for that.

"Wait a second—"

"Please!"

"Give it a rest for a—"

"Please Chuuya!"

"Ok!" Chuuya sighed dramatically, palms digging into the sockets of his eyes, "I'll give you his number if you shut up for one second." It was then that Chuuya's timid dementor became alarmingly plain. He didn't have a smirk on his face, his eyes weren't glimmering with mischief either. His skin looked dull, and his hair that was typically immaculate looked knotted and unkempt. Atsushi stared at him through the camera lens, both curious and cautious of the unusually lax dementor, well unusual by Chuuya's standards "I—" the ginger started, "Hows Dazai?"

It was Atsushi's turn to flaunt wide eyes now, "Uh—hes...fine."

There was an uncomfortable silence as Chuuya shuffled on his bed, the camera going dark for a second before his fiery locks came back into view, "Can you—Jesus, I fucking hate this. But can you tell him I'm sorry." He paused, face burning redder by the second as he was overcome with embarrassment that was teetering on being endearing, "I just—I got too—"

"No Chuuya." Atsushi's voice hit calm and low. He was putting his foot down on this, "If you want to apologize to him, then make the effort to apologize to him, not me." Chuuya gulped harshly, before a tiny hint of amusement crept back onto his face, "Number, now."

Chuuya let slip a lightly charmed chuckle at the boy's determination, it was a good quality to have especially if you planned on trying to associate with someone as stubborn as Akutagawa. Chuuya read out the digits of his friend's phone number, watching as Atsushi eagerly smashed them into his phone, "Is this about what I think it's about?" He asked absentmindedly, taking Atsushi off guard a little.

The silver-haired boy contemplated his answer for a little bit, if Chuuya wasn't a hundred percent sure of what was going on it meant one of four possible things. One, he didn't realize that Atsushi had practically outed his friend. Two, Chuuya already knew about Aktugawa's pending sexuality, and therefore didn't think anything of the public argument. Three, Atsushi had been completely overthinking this entire situation. Or four, Chuuya had another theory that Atsushi hadn't thought about.

Either way, he wasn't willing to risk exposing Akutagawa or himself for a second time, "Probably not."

Chuuya snorted, "You like to keep things private," he half asked, half claimed. Atsushi nodded along, earning a large cheeky grin from him, "Akutagawa would like that...a lot," There was a certain implication to Chuuya's tone that made Atsushi's mouth go dry, whiles simultaneously making his throat close up and risk having to choke on his own spit. If Chuuya could see how impossibly red his cheeks were, he didn't tease him for it "Oh, and a little word of advice." Chuuya spoke, his usual cocky tone back in full swing now "He likes old shit, like antique paintings and flavored tea."

Atsushi somehow found the capacity to break out into a small smile at the informative peace offering, "Thanks," He grinned, pretending like you couldn't probably crack an egg on his face and fry it with how ridiculously fucking heated with embarrassment he was, "Dazai likes alcohol, whiskey usually."

Chuuya's smile brightened, it wasn't a shifty kind of smile either, it was genuine and innocent, "Well, it was a pleasure doing business with you Atsushi." Suddenly, he gasped "Oh, also do I really look like Puss in Boots?"

Atsushi choked back a genuine laugh this time, trying his best to seem polite and apologetic for his outburst but...well, he wasn't. Not when it came to Chuuya, at least "In the best possible way—"

Chuuya huffed out a laugh, "Fuck you smart ass," He joked, "Good luck to you, by the way."

Atsushi smiled warmly, "You too Chuuya."

When Chuuya hung up Atsushi's mind soared, had he just...befriended Chuuya? The thought of that seemed completely impossible, but then again Atsushi had been faced with impossibility after impossibility lately. A miracle like being civil with the fiery demon of Toin wouldn't be off the table at this point.

And no matter how much Atsushi wanted to indulge in Chuuya's teasing regarding Akutagawa, he had a mission to fulfill first.

Atsushi quickly vacated the bathroom like some hermit who was allergic to the bright lights of the apartment and locked himself not only in his room but also hid in the depths of his closet. Why? Soundproofing, and also because it was kinda cozy; Atsushi needed all the comfort he could get when attempting to make contact with possibly the most stubborn, unaccommodating yet somehow completely and utterly mesmerizing person he'd ever met.

He stared at the foreign contact in his phone, nerves bubbling up every time he thoughts abou--- no! no no he had to apologize, he wasn't even going to let himself try and wriggle out of it. He was wrong, he made a mistake, and apologizing was the right thing to do. Before he could overthink it anymore, he pressed the call button and pressed it to his ear with rickety hands.

After only three rings the line clicked to life.

"Hello?" A deep, gritting voice trudged through Atsushi's speaker, the way his spine instantly tingled was so violent that he couldn't stop a yelp from jumping out of his throat, "Who is this?"

"A—ah—" was all he managed to get out before he heard a low growl from the other end, followed only by the sound of disconnecting which left Atsushi with the embarrassing low throbbing of his stomach in an empty closet.

Something was definitely wrong with him, there was no way a full semi was the normal reaction to having a, all be it ridiculously attractive, man effectively whispering something as simple as hello into your ear.

Atsushi wasn't deterred for long though; he'd made first contact which was the hardest part. Now all he had to do was call again, so he did.

He called again, and again, and again and Akutagawa wasn't just politely letting the phone ring oh no. He was actively denying Atsushi's calls.

However, after seventeen rejected calls Akutagawa picked up again and Atsushi was convinced that seventeen was his new favorite number.

"You're a real fucking psychopath you know that?" Aktugawa yelled, "Who the fuck has time to call someone this much—"

"It's important!" Atsushi's voice cracked a little, trying his best to clear his head and ignore the tingling of his skin.

"Wait—" Aktugawa's voice trailed off, "Atsushi?" He half yelled, "Is this Atsushi?"

It was then that the closet dweller realized something vital. He had Akutagawa's number, Akutagawa didn't have his. To the emo Victorian succubus, it must've just looked like a really persistent cold caller. Oh Jesus Christ, this couldn't get much worse.

He laughed nervously "Uh, hi Akutagawa."

"Don't you Hi me you little rat!" He yelled, poorly impersonating Atsushi's feeble greeting, "How the fuck did you get my number? And what the fuck do you want? Actually, no I don't care what you want—"

"I'm sorry for outing you!" Atsushi blurted for the second time today, once again fearing the impending doom that came with being hung up on. There was silence, which was good, Atsushi could fill silence, "At the debate, I—I got really riled up because of what Chuuya said about Dazai and I took that out on you and I'm sorry. I'm REALLY sorry if I made you uncomfortable and I want to make it up to you and—"

"Oh my god will you stop whining" Akutagawa cut him off with a groan, "You're just..." his voice trailed off, and Atsushi could hear the unmistakable sound of shuffling on a bed in the background of the call, "Don't apologize for having a backbone and standing up for your friend." Atsushi's lungs suddenly stopped knowing how to take in air, he listened to the quiet murmurs of the man on the other line completely breathless and hanging on every single sound he made. Every small sigh, every dip of mattress spring or the rustling of sheets, every smacking of lips "I—to be honest it was kind of a relief you snapped, thought you really were just a massive fucking wet wipe up until then."

Atsushi's nose scrunched, "I feel like I should be more offended by that than I am"

To his absolute amazement, Akutagawa huffed out something so close to a laugh that Atsushi would go to the grave arguing that it was indeed a little huff of amusement, "You're pathetic."

Again, definitely should've been offended by that "So...is this you accepting my apology?" he asked timidly, wanting to quickly have the permission to clear his conscience of guilt and move on with his day to day life without being plagued with regret.

"If I say yes will you shut up about it?" He asked tone light and airy and totally not at all bored with the conversation...which was, scary? It was like the sublime. Beautiful, and so utterly terrifying all at once.

"Yes." Atsushi replied, nodding even though he couldn't see him.

"Then I'll accept." Akutagawa stated, "So...what are we doing?" He continued calmly, a response that Atsushi was not at all prepared for.

"W—what? What do you mean?" Atsushi's first bodily response was to get up and run, but he shot up so fast that he ended up loudly whacking the back of his head off the closet doors, "Ow" He hissed, a dull throbbing quickly clouding his mind and burning the skin on the thin skin of his scalp.

Again, his ears were blessed with the sound so akin to a laugh that it really must've been one, "You said you wanted to make it up to me?" He repeated Atsushi's earlier declaration, earning a confused and slightly pained agreeable humming, "So what are we doing?"

"Uhhh—" Suddenly, like divine intervention or a gift from God himself, Atsushi remembered something "Antique tea?" His words accidentally blended together like a drunken idiot.
Before Atsushi could properly regret his life choices, he was completely and utterly blown away by the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.

Aktugawa was laughing at him, full-bodied and unapologetically laughing at him like he was taking the piss, "I hate you." He wheezed, and Atsushi was too stunned to even respond, to his disappointment Aktugawa settled his little laughing fit down and calmly asked, "Does 5 p.m. tomorrow work for you?"

A zombie-like, "Uhuh" tumbled out of his agape mouth. At this point, he wasn't even processing words or meanings. All of his brain cells had just jumped ship, the only sound in his head was that laugh, over and over again like a broken record; but Atsushi was absolutely certain he'd never get bored of hearing that sound.

"I'll see you tomorrow then." Were the last words Akutagawa said before he hung up.

Atsushi was still too dazed to move a whole hour later, his mind racing with so many different thoughts that his head felt weirdly empty. Atsushi would never admit it, but he fell asleep in the closet that night. The only thing accompanying him being the warm fuzzy feeling hugging his heart.

2274 words! Let's gooo >:>