99% of the earth's population had a natural confidence, it was embedded in them as much as evolutionary survival instincts were. Atsushi Nakajima was a part of the unfortunate 1% which lacked.

Atsushi was a quiet child, hopping from foster home to foster home, then being adopted only to constantly be returned, yet he never complained once. Even if a new foster or adoptive family didn't work out, he was always grateful they'd deemed him worthy enough to consider him in the first place.

Being grateful wasn't an issue in itself, it was good to practice gratitude. However, Atsushi's gratitude, politeness, and overall work ethic had a straight-line link to his abysmal lack of confidence. Every action he took, every word he spoke every thought he had. It all dwindled down to Atsushi's lack of logical and positive emotional connection. He was a ball of ethics, justice, and philosophy that'd been scrambled together with anxiety and a nasty inferiority complex.

He saw himself as unworthy.

Unworthy of happiness.

Unworthy of success.

Unworthy of life itself sometimes.

This is why everyone who knew him was incredibly proud when he was accepted into Yokohama University. The busy environment offered many opportunities for him to gain confidence in himself. Everyone who knew him, knew his story, was cheering him on.

If there was one instance where Atsushi's gratitude wasn't misplaced, it would be in his friends. Well, friend.

"I'm back!" Dazai sang, surprisingly Intune, when he dramatically kicked open the door of the bathroom. His long legs reached Atsushi, who was quietly studying in the campus snack bar, slamming himself down opposite him and spreading his papers all over the table, "Did you miss me? Huh? Huh?"

If there was one person Atsushi could be considered comfortable around, it was his roommate Dazai. He had no issues with being honest with him. Mainly because, in the past when he was a lot less socially able, he'd tried everything he could think off to shake the man away. Nothing worked. Atsushi even tried being blatantly mean, which was nowhere near mean by regular people's standards, it didn't work.

Atsushi sighed, trying his best to pull the loose pages together again "You were only gone for 5 minutes."

Dazai whined, slurping on the tea he left while he went on his bathroom break, "Wrong answer Atsushi!" He was very needy.

Dazai was a social butterfly. The type of person, extroverts, who adopted others, introverts, to help them flower; and Dazai had quite the planetarium growing. However, out of all his little flower projects, Atsushi quickly became his favorite. So much so that he barely left the poor boy alone.

Atsushi sighed, trying his hardest to read the material for his next lecture even though he'd read it a thousand times before. He didn't even have the confidence in his own brain to remember it. Atsushi looked up, meeting Dazai's playful chocolate eyes, "What is it?" He asked, assuming the other had something up his sleeve since he always seemed to.

Dazai gleamed, resting his face between his two palms, almost proud that his little socially inept roommate could tell when he was plotting, "I invited some friends over for a drink, and they really want to meet you."

Atsushi was instantly nervous at the idea, "But you know I'm not good with people" It was his turn to whine now. He leaned back in his seat, head hitting the soft cushioning of the booth. His mind instantly succumbing to the pressure he kept on himself at all times.

Dazai stuck out a long, determined finger and waggled it in front of him, "No, you're fine. You just think you're terrible." Atsushi sank in his seat, a reaction Dazai was very used to "C'mon it'll be fun, you don't want to miss out, do you?"

Truth be told Atsushi didn't think he'd be missing out on much. It's not like he could add anything meaningful to a conversation.

Dazai continued with his verbal assault, "They're nice dudes, they already like you from what I've been telling them—"

"You've been talking about me?" Atsushi yelped in a panic, Dazai nodded with his signature smile.

Great, now he had expectations to live up to.

"Listen, you need to get out of this funk you're in. Meeting new people is good, talking to people is good." Dazai argued.

"You're making it sound like I don't have a choice."

"Because you don't!" Dazai said triumphantly, "I've asked them to meet us outside our last lecture when it finishes, so you have no choice but to walk home with us." Atsushi could feel a headache forming from the way his friend so positively talked about something he saw as negative, "You can't escape."

Atsushi gave in to the pressure with a loud sigh, making Dazai cheer. "It'll be fun, you'll see" Dazai continued, gulping down the rest of his tea like a shot of Sake before slamming it onto the table, earning odd looks from those who sat close. "We better get going, we're already late."

Atsushi's eyes widened, horrified, he checked his watch "You said it was 10 to not 10 past!" Atsushi yelled.

"Yeah, I lied" Dazai snickered, knowing full well that nothing made Atsushi more nervous than walking into a lecture hall late. All those judgemental eyes staring at him. Thinking about how he looked, how he dressed, how he walked. But, It was good character building, he needed to get over his fears at some point. Dazai was simply quickening that process by using necessary deception.

Atsushi got up as quickly as his legs would let him and followed the significantly taller boy, cursing him in his head the entire way.

--------------

Just as Dazai threatened, when the lecture was over, there were two unfamiliar people waving them over. Atsushi tried to hide behind Dazai, much like a shy toddler would, but he was having none of it. He pushed Atsushi in front of him, placing both hands firmly on his shoulders so he couldn't wriggle away.

"Hey, guys! Glad you could make it." Dazai said cheerily.

The smaller, less scary, one of the two smiled back, "I wouldn't pass up the chance to outdrink you Dazai, you know that." The ginger then turned his attention Atsushi, his nails digging into the sides of his wrists to try and soothe the emotional itch of discomfort, "Nice to meet you, I'm Junichiro Tanizaki. Dazai's old summer job colleague."

Atsushi nodded, his mouth twisting up physically stopping him from speaking until Dazai slapped him harshly round the back of his head, "Atsushi Nakajima!" The name tumbled out of his mouth as if it wasn't his own, he said it with no familiarity whatsoever.

It would have startled Junichiro if Dazai hadn't have warned him about his roommates' nervousness beforehand. The ginger smiled again almost sympathetically, looking up to the taller more professional man next to him "And this is my friend, Kunikida, Doppo." When the man ignored his own introduction, deciding his notebook was more interesting, Junichiro added, "He's kinda up his own ass, sorry"

"I am not!" The man yelled, making Atsushi jump, "Just because I value my time and work hard to achieve my goals does not mean I'm up my own ass, it means I'm dedicated. Something you'd never be able to relate to."

Dazai laughed loudly at the outburst, tapping on Atsushi's shoulders to signal him to walk, which he did gladly. The anxious boy wanted nothing more than to get away from the many stares he, and the people around him, were getting.

The 4 walked back to Dazai and Atsushi's two-bedroom apartment, just outside campus. Dazai naturally did most of the talking, or in this instance taunting based on Kunikida's rather...dramatic, reactions. How these two considered themselves friends was beyond Atsushi. All they did the entire way back was argue, then once they reached the apartment all Kunikida did was complain about the mess of Dazai's room. Yet somehow, this was...friendship?

The three slowly made their way through a bottle of Sake while Atsushi sipped on his water bottle, listening to their conversations with interest.

"I'm just saying, I can't wait to face off against them again this year," Junichiro spoke calmly from the foot of the bed where he was sat facing Dazai who was sprawled out on it completely. Leaving Kunikida and Atsushi to fight over the desk chair, although there was no fight. Atsushi sat on the floor the moment he realized there was only one chair left. "We're gonna destroy those punks." He claimed, smashing another shot back casually.

"Seems a little violent, but I agree." Dazai said, turning his head to check up on his floor dwelling goblin of a roommate. He was surprised he hadn't tried to sneak away yet, but then again, he probably thought he couldn't do it.

"No none of that." Kunikida replied, "We should educate them with our debates, let them see the light—" Dazai instantly began laughing, "What is it now Dazai?" the man groaned, pushing his thin glasses up his even thinner nose.

"No nothing," He smiled, letting one more laugh flow before he continued "It's just funny that you think you'll be able to educate Chuuya."

Atsushi had been building up the courage to ask a question this entire time. Practicing how he'd say it over and over again in his head, changing the question multiple times as the conversation progressed.

Eventually, he squeaked, "Who's Chuuya?"

Dazai whipped his head to the side, positively gleaming at the sound of his friend's voice finally breaking through. He'd have to make him his favorite breakfast for this display of bravery.

"Chuuya is the team captain of the Toin Yokohama University debate society." Kunikida explained, "We often go on field trips to compete with them, they're a horrid bunch of ruffians whose sole aim is to disprove every argument we raise, no matter what it is."

Junichiro continued, "We're in the universities debate society. Have been since we were first years."

Atsushi nodded in understanding.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Dazai sit up in the bed like a vampire. Eyes wide and a smile twitching on the corner of his mouth. Atsushi locked eyes with him, and unfortunately, he knew that look well.

"Atsushi! You should join the debate society!" He suggested loudly, causing Junichiro and Kunikida to eye him up.

"I—I'm not um, speaking—"

"Exactly!" Dazai said, somehow understanding his friend's anxious dribble, "It'll be a fantastic opportunity for you to gain some confidence in social speaking!" Atsushi just shook his head, his choppy bangs hiding some of his face from the others. "You can talk about things your passionate about too! Debate them, all that emotional law shit you like so much."

Atsushi furrowed his brows, looking up at the guy in disbelief "Do you mean moral ethics?"

"Yeah, that!" Dazai was fully sat up and facing him at this point, the height difference intensified tenfold by the floor and high bed. "It'll be fun! We need another member anyway, right?"

Kunikida whipped out his notebook, "Well according to the competing rules of our University, if we had another member, they would allow 10 long haul field trips a year instead of 5. In terms of short-haul ones, we'd be allowed 25 instead of 15." He said, tone clearly intrigued.

"That's like, 10 more chances to crush Chuuya!" Junichiro joined in, the prospect of winning sparking his surprising competitive nature. He too turned to Atsushi, "You have to join Atsushi!"

Atsushi's brain had stopped working, his face was bright red and his hands were shaking in place. He couldn't think of any words, like any at all. As if he'd never even learned how to speak. Dazai knew this was one of his friends telling signs, "Kunikida, wouldn't it be great if Atsushi joined?" the brown-haired male pressed.

Kunikida thought for a moment, "Well, it would give us more opportunities; but I think in case of the boy—"

Dazai cut him off, "See you hear that Atsushi! Even Kunikida thinks you should join." He could practically see it happening in his yellow, purple eyes. "C'mon, please! Please" please" please!"

Atsushi held firm, shaking his head profusely.

Dazai persisted, "Think about it, we only debate people from other schools competitively. You'd never humiliate yourself in front of people you have to see every day." Atsushi looked up, "And joining societies really boost your employability rates, especially a society like debate—"

"Alright fine!" Atsushi caved, just like Dazai knew he would, "I'll join your society."

The three of them drank happily to their new member, Kunikida having spare paperwork on hand just encase of an emergency like this one.

Under the watchful eye of Dazai Atsushi signed the membership contract; and although he was only joining a debate society, he felt as if he'd just signed away his life.

2161 words, yeahoo!