❛ Fuck it. ❜

chapter thirty four.

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     THANKFULLY, it didn't take long for Scarlett to calm down Gemma, and after only five minutes, the older women was prepared to head back to the clubhouse and return to her work. So, Scarlett took the truck and followed her back to the clubhouse because it had seemed that Jax had forgotten about their unfinished conversation, not that she minded.

Shoving her phone into her pocket, Scarlett moves from her position leant against the truck and makes her way towards Gemma's office, frowning slightly at the sight of all the Sons departing from the garage. Fortunately, Jax is nowhere to be seen as he left slightly earlier to go and collect a certain blonde from the studio.

Gemma's leant back in her desk chair, running a hand through her hair as she hears the door creak up and closed. She glances over to Scarlett.

"Alex just called," Scarlett informs her, "Said you're due for a HIV test. He's asking for you to pop down to the hospital whenever you're able to."

Gemma's brows raise, as she stands up from behind her desk, "You got his number now? You two seem to—"

"He gave it to me the same night that Bobby got shot," Scarlett explains, cutting off her words quickly, "As an extra precaution, and also for notices on you."

"God," Gemma groans, "You two are like my goddamn parents," She leans against the wall, clicking her tongue, "I haven't had sex since it happened."

Scarlett nods in understanding, "Makes sense. You're still healing, physically and mentally."

"Pussy's not the problem," Gemma sighs, "It's my head."

"You need time," Scarlett tries to reassure her.

"I need something."

"How's Clay feeling about all this?" Scarlett's head tilts in questioning, having a feeling that the man is unknowingly weighing in on Gemma's mentality.

"Did you miss the car show earlier?" Gemma scoffs, "He hates me."

"That's not true," Scarlett chuckles lowly, "As someone who majorly disliked your family, it's even obvious to me that he loves you." A loud roar from a particular bike causes Scarlett to suck on her teeth and Gemma's eyes wander to the window.

"Speaking of family," Gemma hums.

Scarlett takes a small step back to peer through the window of the office, her heart dropping into her stomach as she watches Ima slide off the back of Jax's bike and unclip the helmet hung on her head.

"Careful, baby," Gemma says with a sweet tone, "You're jealousy is showing."

As Jax presses a short kiss to Ima's lips before wandering away and leaving the blonde with Half-Sack, Scarlett scoffs in response to Gemma, "I have more self-respect than that."

"Maybe," Gemma shrugs, "I don't think it's Ima your jealous of, I think it's the attention she's getting from him."

Scarlett's face screws up, "It's not the attention. It's the—" Realisation dawns on her and her head snaps to Gemma, "No, no. It's nothing. I'm not jealous."

"Come on, Scarlett Miller," Gemma's arms fold over her chest, "I know that you know how to set a bitch straight. It's what you're best at."

"Damn right," Scarlett mutters before shrugging, "But I have no fucking reason to. I still hate your goddamn son, Gem. I also hate how I'm feeling right now."

The sinking and burning feeling of jealousy has never been Scarlett's favourite. She's still disgusted of the thought of herself forgiving Jax for his awful mistakes, but she also can't help but feel jealous when she watches him around other women. Jax Teller is an A-Grade manwhore. Flirting with women is his special talent. She should get used to seeing him utilise that.

Gemma chuckles, but doesn't say anything else on the matter and instead just snatches her car keys from the table, ready to head to the hospital.

"You want me to come?" Scarlett asks, trying to distract herself from their conversation moments ago.

"No, sweetheart," Gemma pulls open the door, "I'm fine. Go help Sack in the clubhouse if you got nothing to do. Could possibly set that blonde bitch straight while you're at it."

"Gonna wait a bit before I do that," Scarlett smirks as the two women exit the office together and step down onto the concrete, "Good luck with the piss test."

Gemma smiles at her as they depart, "Good look with the pornstar."

Scarlett chuckles quietly before trudging her way towards the clubhouse, preparing herself for witnessing Jax and Ima together again. Hopefully, the blonde chick has excused herself out of the main room and is chilling in his dorm, meaning Scarlett doesn't have to cross paths with her once.

"Scar," A voice sighs as she steps inside, and immediately she relaxes. Opie Winston steps towards her, enclosing her body in a warm hug, "Feel like I haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah, sorry about that," She pulls away, "I've been meaning to come round to the house and see you and the kids for a bit but—"

"You're a little busy," Opie hums in understanding, "I've heard."

Her brows crease, "Oh, have you now?"

"Jax has told me some stuff," He explains, "And he's worried 'bout you, Scarlett."

Scarlett rolls her eyes, "He's got bigger things to worry about."

"Not in his eyes he doesn't," Opie sighs, "He—"

"Please, stop, Ope," Scarlett grumbles, stepping around her friend and moving closer to the bar, "I'm sick of speaking about him to me so much. I'm supposed to be distanced from him. I want to leave at least five goddamn minutes without someone speaking to me about him."

Opie follows her, remaining on the other side of the bar as she slips opposite him, "He's just tryna—"

"What the hell did I just say, Opie?" She gawks at him in shock that he dismissed her request so quickly. She throws her leather jacket up on a hook as she tuts, "How are the kids?"

"Getting better," Opie tells her honestly.

"Good. And you?" Her brows raise.

"The same," He lies.

Her eyes narrow as she stares at him, "Bullshit," She slips down onto her usual squeaky stool, "Have your nightmares stopped?"

"Have yours?" He counters.

She swallows thickly, "Don't change the subject. The other day Chibs was telling me that you've started to be different around the guys, why's that?"

Opie sighs, running his large hand over his beard as he thinks of a reply, "Something don't feel right. Clay's got me doing stupid easy things with Sack. I've been here long enough to be doing the important shit."

"You're on your revenge shit, Ope," Scarlett folds her arms over her chest, "Probably best that you aren't given the important shit when you're likely to go shooting anyone who mentions your wife. Not saying that I agree with you doing the soft things."

"That might be right, but I feel like some of the guys know something I don't," Opie lowers his voice as he speaks, "Something ain't right."

"You're paranoid," Scarlett rolls her eyes, "And trust me, if I find anything out, I'll tell you immediately. But, the guys are supposed to be your closest friends, Ope. Jax, especially. He wouldn't hide anything form you."

"Not if he doesn't know it to begin with."

Scarlett head tilts, "You think they're hiding shit from both you and Jax? Jax is the VP. Why the fuck would they do that?"

Opie leans back into the stool as he shrugs, "Fuck knows," He glances over his shoulder to the Chapel and he grunts at the sight of the filled table, "I better get in there," He faces her again, sending her a warm smile, "See you later. Look after yourself."

As he pulls himself from the chair, she nods and returns the smile gently, "You too."

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LATER IN THE EVENING, Scarlett rushes around her tiny room in Cami's house with her phone squished between her ear and shoulder as she throws her clothes in every direction in an attempt to find something to wear. She's just been informed of the wrap party down at Cara Cara, and almost every part of her is telling her to dress like a slut and go enjoy herself. Another part of her is telling her that she was doing all this for Jax, but she tries to ignore that feeling.

"You find anything yet?" Camille questions. She's in the bathroom, fixing up her own dress with her phone stuck between her ear and shoulder as well. The party has already started outside, but she managed to escape to the bathroom to escape the pervy men and wait for Luke to arrive.

"No," Scarlett grumbles, trailing off her answer as she reaches the pits of her old suitcase. Slowly, she pulls out a black right dress with laces going up the sides. It used to be a dress she wore to strip in. She smirks in triumph, thankful that she found something, "Finally."

"You got something?" Cami asks, listening to her best friend's relieved sighs.

"Mhm."

"Great," Camille smiles, "Get Luke for me, please."

"Luke!" Scarlett calls, waiting to hear the loud thuds of his footsteps on the wooden floorboards in the hall. She pulls the door open when she knows he's reached it and shoves the phone into his chest, "It's Cami."

Luke nods, trying to soften the smile sprouting on his face as he thinks about speaking to his girlfriend. He motions to Scarlett quickly, "Hurry the fuck up," He hisses quietly, "I gotta get down there before she's groped or sum shit," Then he steps away and holds the phone to his ear, leaving Scarlett to close the door and get dressed.

In a hurry, Scarlett wriggles her way into the dress, shivering as the cold air hits her legs where the lace is revealing her skin. She grabs her only pair of heels from under the bed and quickly shoves her feet into them, deciding to deal with the clips when she's in the truck. With small pants of stress passing her lips, she snatches her tiny handbag off the dresser top before checking herself over to make sure she looks fine.

Hearing the couple's conversation come to a close, Scarlett exits her room and trudges carefully down the stairs. It's been a while since she's walked in proper heels. Luke hears her descending the stairs and he closes her phone and makes his way to the door.

He looks up at her, snorting in amusement, "You're looking slutty, Miller."

She shrugs, grabbing her phone from his palm before stepping outside onto the porch as he locks the door behind them, "That's the aim."

Luke's brows furrow as he steps towards the driver's door on the truck. He throws it open, waiting for both of them to be inside before he quizzically asks, "Is this for Jax?"

Scarlett glares at him as she lifts one of her feet to balance on the chair while she fiddles with the straps, "Fuck off."

"I'm just saying," He mumbles, "Jax's types are usually chicks who dress like that."

"I'm aware," She mutters.

"But you don't usually dress like this, Scar. You do know that you don't have to dress like that for Jax to like you, right?" Luke glances at her momentarily as he pulls the truck out of the driveway, "He fucking loves you, Scarlett, without the slutty dress and heels."

"Okay, can you stop saying slutty now?" She rolls her shoulders back as she drops her feet back down, "It's making me feel gross."

"See!" He points at her triumphantly, "Even you don't like yourself right now."

"It's not that!" She argues, "This dress just holds a lot of memories of my stripper days, and you spouting out the word slut is reminding me of shit I don't want to be reminded of."

He falls silent for a moment as he slowly nods in understanding, "Got it, yeah. That's fair."

"Mhm," She looks at him, squinting through the darkness, "Nice to see you dressed up for the party."

Luke peers down at his outfit. He's dressed in black jeans and a black hoodie with his kutte slung over the top and dirty boots on his feet. He scowls at her, "This is style, thank you very much."

She laughs at him, throwing her head back, "You're dressed head to toe in black. Where's the style? You wear the same shit everyday. You have no excuse."

"My excuse is the fact that I'm a man," Luke replies with a sly smirk, "We're shit at anything that women are good at."

Scarlett hums but doesn't bother saying anything more, leaving the truck to fall into a comfortable silence as it rolls into Cara Cara's studio parking lot. As he pulls the keys from the ignition, Scarlett throws open the door and jumps down from the truck. Luke rolls his eyes and laughs as he watches her stumble slightly before making her way towards the door. She looks over her shoulder to glare at him, having heard his laugh and he looks away instantly as if he's oblivious, causing her to chuckle.

As Scarlett steps through the wide open doors, the smell of alcohol and drugs immediately hits her along with a loud blast of music. Running her hands through her hair she forces herself to not look for Jax immediately.

"This is a closed party."

A high pitched irritating voice speaks from Scarlett's right, and immediately she recognises the person to be Ima. Groaning lowly, Scarlett turns her head to look at the blonde pornstar who's perched in a chair by the door.

"You—"

Ima's stands up as a scoff leaves her lips, cutting Scarlett short.

Strike one.

"Honey, Jax has got all he can handle tonight," Ima smirks as she walks over to stand opposite Scarlett, their chests only a foot apart, "Don't worry. No need for you to be here."

Scarlett chuckles, "Mhm," She moves to step around the blonde woman but she's quick to get in the way once more.

"I said get out," Ima spits, grabbing Scarlett's arm and pulling her back so their face to face again, "Bitch."

Strike two.

Scarlett stares at her in utter shock, her eyes slightly narrowed as her anger begins to build up.

Ima moves her face closer, as if she was going in for a kiss, "What part of that is so complicated?"

Scarlett's nostrils flare as she snarls, "Get the fuck out of my face."

Across the room, Opie watches the scene unfold from afar. His hand reaches across to tap Jax's knee and he points to the two arguing women, "I recognise that look," Ope chuckles as he studies Scarlett expression, "I'm fairly sure she's about to beat her up."

Jax's gaze follows his best friend's finger, spotting Scarlett and Ima stood face to face, and sure enough, Scarlett looks like she's about to break Ima's nose. While Opie laughs joyfully, Jax shoots up from his seat immediately, "Oh, shit."

Scarlett looks Ima up and down, raising her brows at the sight of how Ima's pressed herself as close as possible, "Little close for a straight girl, aren't you?" She teases with a smirk.

Ima grimaces, "Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"A woman with a good amount of self-respect," Scarlett shrugs, "Unfortunately, you can't say the same, as you have none. I mean, don't you think it's time you go find a man who actually likes you, and not just your body?"

Ima's lips fall apart and her jaw twitches as she fescues into the deep depths for her next attempt at an insult, "I heard you were there when Opie's wife died?Donna, was it? You—"

Strike three.

Without even letting her finish, Scarlett reels her fist back and sends it flying across Ima's face. The blonde woman lets out a loud scream as her body collapses on the floor to the side. She cradles her bleeding nose, looking up at Scarlett in horror, who just grimaces down at her in disgust.

"Shit on me all you want, but never fucking speak about her," Scarlett spits, "Next time you'll get more than a bloody nose."

"Scarlett!" Jax's loud shout carries across the studio, and the sound of his voice quickly causes her to turn and leave to the bathroom.

"You better run, you little skank!" Ima screeches after her, but Scarlett is too far gone to hear, because if she did, that would've been strike four.

Jax skids to a stop next to the bleeding blonde. He grinds his jaw at the blood staining the floor before motioning for a woman to come over. He points to Ima, "Get her sorted."

"Jax!" Ima gasps in surprise, wanting him to drop down to the floor with her and cradle her in her arms as she cries, but before she can say another thing to him, he's already rushing after Scarlett.

Inside the bathroom, Scarlett stands facing the sink with her fists curled around the edge, while Camille rubs her back and speaks quietly to her, "That fucking bitch," Cami snaps after Scarlett growled out the story, "I'm glad you punched her. It's been a long time coming."

"Why the fuck did I do that?" Scarlett shakes her head, eyes flicking to her red knuckles as she speaks mostly to herself, "Why? Why the fuck did I just resort to violence?" She wants to say, I'm starting to be like my father.

"Because that's what you're good at, Scar," Cami soothes, "Hey, if I had your strength, I'd be right hooking everyone I hate, which is most of the people in that other room."

"But why is that what I'm good at? I don't want to be good at it," Scarlett squeezes her eyes closed.

Camille falls quiet as she notices the bathroom door open and Jax Teller sticks his head inside. His brows crease together in concern when he spots Scarlett, and Camille knows that he means no harm.

"I'll leave you two to it," Cami dismisses herself, rubbing Scarlett's back once more before stepping out of the bathroom. Scarlett straightens in confusion and spins around to see Jax making his way over. She sighs heavily, resting back against the sink, waiting for him to speak.

"Why the hell did you do that, Scar?" His head tilts, "You shouldn't let her get to you."

Silently, Scarlett just stares at him, studying his face as he looks back at her. Her mind roars at her loudly to leave, but her body screams the opposite. Slowly, she pushes away from the sink, listening to her body for now.

"Fuck it," She mumbles before surging towards him and ripping his kutte from his shoulders and throwing it carelessly to the floor. Despite hating him for so long, she's craved his touch for what feels like decades. He did things to her no other man had ever come close to.

He smirks at the contact and his hands fall to her waist as he allows her to rip his shirt open, causing the small buttons to go flying across the room. Her breath begins to quicken as she leaves his shirt on, drops her hands to the belt securing his jeans. Jax catches her lips on a kiss as her fingers work quickly to drop his jeans to the floor. He steps out of them and walks them both towards the sink, without their lips detaching once. She smirks against his lips as he lifts her up onto the sink counter as if she weighs nothing.

He pulls away for a moment, his eyes hungrily tracing up and down her body. His fingers curl around the bottom of her dress, "I like this," He presses another kiss to her lips as he begins to shuffle the dress up her legs and she lifts her hips so he can leave it to rest on her waist.

"I thought you might," She mumbles against his soft lips before he drops his head to litter urgent kissed against her neck.

She drops her head back in pleasure as he sucks on her skin and while his tongue dances around, she moves her hand down to the hand of his boxers. She yanks them down, leaving him to shuffle them down to the floor while her hand curls around his cock.

His hands gently pull her underwear to the side while he moans against her skin before bucking his hips as she drops slightly, giving him easy access to enter her. One of her hands slams down to the counter to keep them stable while the other clutches desperately at his back as he starts to thrust inside of her, both of their moans filling the air. Jax drops his head to her shoulder, and Scarlett buried her hand in his hair on the back of his head while one of his hands grasps her bare thighs and the other gropes her covered tit.

Scarlett spots a shadow in the mirror beside her, and as another explicit moan escapes her lips, she turns her head to the door. Ima stands in the open doorway, gawking at the couple while Jax thrusts rapidly into Scarlett. Clutching desperately at him, Scarlett smirks at her slyly before her head drops back again with pleasure, no longer bothering about the blonde porn star.

"Jax. Fuck," Scarlett moans, the sound affecting him much more than she attends.

As Jax releases inside her, and her body trembles with pleasure, he lifts his head to press a lingering kiss to her lips as she massages the back of his neck.

He pulls back slightly, licking his lips as he pants, "You stopped hatin' me now?"

She shakes her head, "No," She says breathlessly before gently pushing him further away so that she's able to hop off the counter while he pulls up his pants. She wriggles her dress back down her legs, "This was nice, really," She grabs her handbag from beside the sink before stepping towards the door, "See you later, Jackson."

"Scarlett?" His brows furrow and he jumps forward to catch her wrist but she's already dodged him and escaped through the door quickly. He groans, dropping his chin to his chest as thinks about the past few minutes with her. Why the fuck can't she stop hating him?

All disheveled and shaky, Scarlett wobbles her way through the studio and back into the parking lot without any run ins her with her friends or Ima. She makes her way towards the truck and takes a seat on the hood, prepared to wait patiently for Camille and Luke for however long they'll take. Currently, Scarlett has enough thoughts to last her for hours.

. . .

slight smut scene but not really
i'm not sure when to let scarlett forgive him

word count,
3821

not at all proof read