"I just don't understand why we're here. It feels like a trap." Sarah and Vance spent their Saturday hiking through the woods.

"Sarah, if I knew why we were here, we wouldn't be here." Vance said in return with an eye roll, moving a branch for it to snap her back in the face when he let go.

"So, we're just on our way to be hitchhikers for no reason?" she inhaled deeply, trying to watch where he was stepping so she could follow. "Or, at least to your knowledge, no reason?"

Vance huffed, stopping as he spun around and caused her to bump into him. "Do you want to go back?"

"Yes!" Sarah exclaimed with a wild look. "We're suppose to be Saturday Studying. But, no, of course not. You decide to just drag me into the woods for no reason and smack me in the face with a-"

Vance grabbed her arm when he saw it behind her head. "What's that?"

She turned back to follow his gaze, missing it entirely for a moment. Sarah went to question him before she fell upon what he was looking at, peaking out behind one of the large trees. Vance should have told her about Gwen, that she told them to come here. He wasn't sure why he didn't, maybe if he had, what happened in the next few months wouldn't have.

Sarah hurried down the hill, going into the creek. She never did enjoy muddy water, she thought it was gross to swim in and was worried she'd catch a disease. But, that didn't matter right now. Only thing that mattered was pulling the bicycle from out of the water as Vance stood behind her. "It's Billys."

Vance really wished he hadn't listened to Gwen now. His eyes bulged from his head when Sarah took off into the river. "Sarah!"

"Billy!" Sarah found herself yelling out for her best friend. She couldn't imagine he was just living down here for months, surviving off lake water when it was easy to get back up. But, she yelled for him anyways. Maybe to make herself feel better, or maybe because she thought he could actually hear her.

"Sarah, get out of the water!" Vance yelled from the bank, his shoes getting soggy from being so close. But, Sarah was getting deeper and deeper into the water, about to drop off. "Sarah! You better listen to me, you little-"

She disappeared under the water. "-shit."

Vance waited, he waited to see if she'd come back up. He couldn't tell if she went under willingly, or if the drop off took her under. He knew it was close to where she was, but then again she could have swam under at her own free will. He waited. He waited until he had to have known she wasn't coming back up. "Sarah!"

Right when he was about to go in after her, she swam up. She cough and gasped for a breath. "There's fishing line!"

"What!? Get out of the water!" he yelled at her.

"He could have gotten stuck in it." Sarah pushed her curls out of her face, loosing her shoes so she wouldn't feel so heavy.

"Sarah!" Vance yelled at her once again before she went back under. "Holy fuck!"

Sarah swam deep in the river, her ears were popping and her body was cold. She found the fishing line, the way it was all wrapped together in a big ball. She knew Billy wasn't a good swimmer, be could have lost control on his bike, or running after Bingo when he liked to chase the fish. Her hands wrapped around the line, yanking on it. It was light, a person not attached to the end. But, Sarah was smart, she knew what would happen to a body after being under the water for a year.

She was starting to get light headed, but nothing was turning up. There had to be something, anything. A shoe, his jacket. Just something to tell her he was dead, his body was decomposing in the river and she could let hope go. She could stop putting up the posters every few days, she could stop promising Bingo he'd see him again, she could stop staring at the new paperboy, she could stop hurting every night in fear of if he was suffering.

The blood felt like it was rushing to Sarah's head, letting the line go and swimming back up. She made it to the surface way quicker then she'd swam down, a large gasp to go with it as she splashed around. Vance was still at the bank, but she wouldn't have even blamed him if he'd left her there. "Sarah, get back up here!"

"I have to go back." she coughed again, not realizing she'd inhaled so much water before she was met with oxygen again. "I didn't find anything!"

"Because there's nothing to find!" Vance hollered at her. "Get out of the water before that fishing line takes you under for good!"

"His bike is here, you think it was just dropped off?!" Sarah yelled at him in annoyance as she inhaled deeply. "Go home!"

She swam back under. This time, Vance was done with her shit. He kicked his shoes off and went in after her. He didn't know if she was a fast swimmer or not, but if he had to forcefully throw her out of the water, he would. Though, maybe he cared about the sake of most of his hair a little more, because he didn't grab her until she swam back up. Sarah yelled out in fear at first before realizing who it was, trying to break free. "Let me go, i'm not done looking!"

"There's nothing to look for!" he dunked her head under the water in the process of swimming up to the sore, to at least shut her up. Sarah didn't gasp for a breath this time as she was tossed onto the mud, laying there and taking a deep breath. "Jesus christ, you're insane!"

"I'm not insane." Sarah inhaled, rested back on her elbows. "My best friend is missing, Vance! He's been missing for an entire year!"

"You're not gonna find him getting yourself killed at the bottom of a river!" He yelled back at her in disbelief, sat next to her. "Just because his bike is here doesn't mean he is. It probably got carried into the other side of the river and washed up over here after that storm a few days ago. Did you think of that?"

Of course she didn't think of that, how could she. Sarah shut her eyes as she shook her head side to side. "Jesus fuck!"

"No kidding." Vance rolled his eyes, but stayed sitting with her.

Sarah sat up fully thought, and she cried suddenly. So suddenly she didn't even realize it, let alone expect it. Vance looked over in a panic, not expecting it either. "Sarah. Stop crying."

"He's not gonna come home." Sarah cried. Vance knew this was coming from the minute she faked her hope he would. He knew deep down she knew what had happened, especially after a year, but she just didn't want to believe it. "I know he's not coming back."

Vance sighed, moving to sit next to her as Sarah leaned on her knees. "Shit, dude. I'm sorry."

"I just wish he would." she wipped her face, smearing mud across her face in the process. "I just want him back, and pretending I don't know what happened helps."

Vance exhaled, wishing he was compassionate enough to know what to say. "I bet he's gonna show up one day and laugh at you for crying over him."

He was glad she'd laugh, because she could have easily taken that the wrong way. Sarah nodded as she had to smile through her tears. "Yeah, he use to make fun of me when i'd cry at the drive in."

Vance put a hesitant arm around her shoulders, patting the side of her head a little too hard. "Still don't think he's in the river though."

•

kylie speaks

i tired to warn y'all that this
book was gonna hurt. I TRIED
TO WARN YALL