Do it for Sam. Do it for Sam.

It's the only thing that kept her from unraveling. Hold it together for Sam. Sam just lost his brother. He should be allowed to grieve freely. She can hold it together long enough.

Numbness overtook her body as she pushed herself up from that floor, stared at Dean's lifeless, shredded body. She'd seen a lot...but this is going to reign as the night terror for the rest of her life.

Bobby wept with Sam all night. Sam may have cried himself to sleep...Katherine doesn't remember. All she can see is...

A dog barks, and she jumps awake. 

Sam is sitting beside her on the sofa in their motel room. "It's just a dog," he whispers, shaking his head. "I, uh...I already looked into it." Katherine puts her face in her hands. He watches her chest shake, and his eyes well with tears. "I'm so sorry, Kat." She sobs, and he moves to hold her. She cries right into his shoulder. 

Sam didn't know he could cry so much. His eyes were so sore, but that didn't stop anything. He had a brief numb period after his first bout of tears, when he somehow thought of everything but his brother...Katherine seemed to hang out in the shock of it all longer than he did.

She was allowed this much. He cried in the car as she drove with Dean's body in the trunk...Bobby come around mid morning and said he spent all night building a pyre. His hands were blistered from the axe. Sam may have spiraled into a fit of rage and insisted on burying him...he'd had a bit to drink already. So they buried him. And as Sam drunkenly wept, Katherine held it all together. Held him together.

He cried in the car, in the shower, on the sofa. Katherine was with him there, at least, sharing in his grief in this moment. He'd never cried with someone before. But here she is, the only other person in the world that can understand this, gripping his arm like a vice.

And there's her phone ringing. They ignore it.

And then Sam's started ringing.

"It's Charlie," he croaks. She doesn't reply, and he looks over his shoulder at her. She looks entirely removed; vacant eyes, pale face splotched with pink, legs crossed, hands resting on her lower belly. Sam answers his phone. "Hey," he croaks.

"Geez," Charlie breathes. "Oh, God. I called Kit, I called Dean—neither of them answered and then when you didn't—"

"Dean's dead, Charlie," Sam says. His voice doesn't sound like his own. It doesn't...feel real. Like this is all just a bad dream. It has to be.

"What?"

"Dean's dead."

Five whole seconds of silence. "Fuck." Charlie sniffs on the other end. "It's—I thought it was..."

"Last night. This morning. I don't know." Sam looks to the woman on the sofa. "Katherine's asleep right now, but I can wake her up."

"No." He can see Charlie shaking his head. "No, let her sleep. Let her sleep." Another silence. "Sam, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Me too, Charlie."

"I'm gonna come to you guys. Where are you?"

"Don't bother," Sam murmurs. "I, uh...we're getting on the road in a little while. I'm bringing her home."

✕

Katherine stares at the ceiling, eyelids heavy like iron. Charlie left the lamp on in the corner of the room again. She never said anything to him about the dark, so...maybe he just figured.

He's sleeping in his chair outside. He hasn't been to work since she's been home...five days. She's too numb to feel suffocated or grateful.

She just wants to be alone.

She heard Charlie on the phone with someone earlier this morning...yeah, she's back in town. No, that's probably not a good idea. One of her good friends passed away last week...yeah, he was real sick. Yeah, Dad, the one who came to dinner once.

Katherine runs her fingertips over her belly. It's just bloat...might need to go to the doctor soon.

She hasn't moved from bed much. She'll go to the patio sometimes, just to feel the sun on her skin. It helps. 

Sam once told Katherine that Dean used to tell him to go lay outside when he was sad as a kid. He said one of the few things he learned in school was about lizards, and how they laid out in the sun in the early mornings to jumpstart their metabolism..something about vitamin D...anyway, Dean started calling it "lizarding."

Her elbows feel weak, and it takes too much energy to sit up on them. Everything feels heavy.

Charlie didn't ask about Dean. He stopped asking about Dean in April, after the hospital bill came from Wyoming. That was the only time he raised his voice at her, ever. She told him she wasn't coming home until Dean is dead and then hung up. She didn't talk to him for three days.

She wonders if they're ever going to talk about it. Maybe, maybe not. It'll just fester.

She shuffles to the bathroom, using the wall for support. So heavy...

✕

Last minute opening.

This is the first building she's been in since Dean died. The first time she's put on real clothes, done her hair in something other than a three-day-old bun. Wet hair is braided away from her face, and because she couldn't be bothered with her jeans, she's wearing yoga pants and one of Dean's sweatshirts. It's gray. It still smells like him. 

She runs her thumb over her lower lip, staring vacantly at the tile in the floor. Disinfectant stings at her nose. It's the hospital smell...something about it is a little comforting. 

Mrs. Taylor?

Katherine wonders what's going to happen today. She filled out all of her paperwork and looked back on a pocket book calendar she found in a drawer at home for the important dates...last menstrual cycle, all of that. It isn't often someone knows the date of conception, but hey. Call her either royally fucked or epically gifted.

"Katherine Taylor?"

Oh.

Katherine lifts her eyes from the floor and sits up straighter. A woman in light blue scrubs smiles at her from the double doors across the room. 

"Come on back," she cheerfully says. Katherine is slow to get to her feet, and follows the woman.  She introduces herself as Mandy and gets right to work. Katherine doesn't hear a lot of what she says. It's like being underwater. But she definitely feels that cold-as-shit transducer slide into her. Katherine stares at the screen, white noise filling her brain. 

There she is.

Tears fill Katherine's eyes. It's different knowing something...it's another thing seeing it. 

Don't worry, Baby. I've got you.

✕

The door closes, and Charlie's eyes open. He can hear her talking again, muffled behind the closed door.

"Shut up Dean."

She didn't used to do this.

He didn't know she was sleep walking that first night she was home. Then he said her name, put his hands on her shoulders. Her face contorted into something horrified, and she started screaming. Thrashed against him, sobbed, until she went limp against the wall and kept crying. 

She doesn't remember what happens when she sleep walks. For the most part, Charlie hasn't gone back to work yet because he's so tired. Watching her get up in the middle of the night, walk around the house...hearing voices in the middle of the night is alarming. He hasn't brought it up since that first night. It's happened almost every night since.

Charlie opens the bathroom door, shining his flashlight at the floor to add more light to the lamp in the corner. Katherine is staring in the bathroom mirror, arms wide, eyebrows raised. "You would be better if you were better." Then Katherine turns to look in his direction. She seems to stare right through him. It's so unnerving. Katherine scoffs and starts walking into the closet. Charlie waits in the doorway for her, watching her sit down and sigh. That duffle bag sits behind her, still unpacked. "No, I don't think they took it. The angels told me." She looks to her right with a frown. "Yes they are."

"Katherine?" Charlie softly asks. She turns to look at him. "Let's go to bed."

"The angels are real," she says. 

"Yeah, I know."

"They're talking." She points to the ceiling.

"What are they saying?"

"Just one." 

Charlie swallows. "What's it saying?"

She tilts her head a little, closing her eyes. Charlie's heart hammers in his chest. "He's sorry." Then she laughs. "He will be."

Charlie swallows around a dry tongue. "Katherine, let's go to bed." He starts towards her, watching her face twist into something terrified. "Katherine."

"No," she whimpers, pushing away from him. "No, no, no—!"

"Katherine—"

"No!" She screams. "No!"

Is it sleep walking if it's terrorizing?

He touches her knee, and she shoves him back. It was just a shove. It shouldn't have sent him across the bathroom floor, almost back into the bedroom, but it did. 

He sat there, watching her scream, tears filling his eyes because he doesn't know what to do. He can only wait until it passes. 

She stops screaming. Touches a hand to her stomach, lifts it away and stares at her fingers. 

Last night was okay. She only had one night terror. This is the second one tonight.

From what he knows about sleep walking, it usually happens relatively soon after falling asleep...so all of these multiple episodes she's having...she's waking up and going back to sleep. Over and over again, for a week.

"I think it's a girl," she whispers.

Charlie didn't realize he was nodding off until he opened his eyes at the sound of her speaking again. Then she's humming...he doesn't know what song it is. 

"Turn it down," Katherine mutters, rolling onto her side, and sighs. 

She fell asleep.

Charlie moves for her a few minutes later. Gently touches a hand to her ankle, his heart hammering in his chest. Is it even worth mentioning, what she did to him? How strong...

"Hmm?" It's a light hum as she acknowledges his touch.

"Let's go to bed, Katherine."

She sits up on her elbow, frowning, and rubs her face. "What the hell?" Her voice is hoarse. "What are you doing?"

"You're in the closet," he tells her.

Katherine looks around her and sits up. "Fuck." She presses the heels of her palms into her eyes. "Why are we in the closet?"

Charlie just looks at her. Glassy, confused eyes stare back at him. "You've been sleep walking," he tells her. Her frown deepens. "It's okay. Let's just...let's go to bed." He gets to his feet and holds his hands out. She takes them, allowing herself to be pulled up, and he walks her back to bed with a hand around her hip. Like she's going to fall. 

✕

She's staring at the ceiling again. She woke up on the sofa an hour ago. Charlie is just now getting ready for work. 

She needs to talk to Sam. She hasn't since she's been home.

"She's not in a good way, Chris," Charlie murmurs. "I honestly don't know how to help her." Pause as Chris speaks. "No...no, I don't think Sophia can help. Well Chris, they haven't spoken in months, dude." Another pause. Katherine closes her eyes and turns into the sofa. Charlie put a blanket on her a little while ago. "All right. Yeah, I'll stop by after work." Charlie lets out a heavy sigh. She hears his boots against the floor until they stop at the sofa. He kisses her temple, smoothing her hair from her face. Then he opens and closes the door to the garage...the garage door opens...the garage door closes.

Katherine slowly sits up.

Her doctor said she could come back in four more weeks for an anatomy scan. One more month until I can see you.

Just one little baby in there, Mandy said. Looks like eleven or twelve weeks...everything looks normal.

Katherine holds her phone to her ear. Sam doesn't answer. Then she calls Bobby.

"Katherine?"

"Hi," she says. 

"Hey, kid." He sighs heavily. "How are you?" Brief silence. "Bad question." Bobby groans a little. "How come you're up so early? What is it, five over there?"

"Is Sam with you?" Katherine asks. "I called him and he didn't answer."

"No, he isn't," Bobby says. "What's wrong?"

"I just haven't heard from him since he left me here."

Left me here.

Bobby said he'd call Katherine as soon as he heard from Sam. 

Charlie comes home around lunch time. She's moving around the house, wearing a gray sweatshirt and shorts. Her hair is in a wet braid.

"Hey," he says.

In the kitchen, she turns around and offers him the smallest of smiles. "Hi," she returns. "You're home early."

"I didn't want to be gone the whole day," he says, toeing out of his boots, and nudges them off to the side. "In case you wanted some company."

"Oh." 

Charlie comes up behind her, watching as she pours hot water from the kettle. "Tea time?" 

"I found it in the cupboard."

"You're the only one who drinks that in this house." She smiles a little. "Are you hungry?"

"I could eat," she hums. 

Charlie smiles and moves for the pantry. "All right...what are we thinkin'? We have noodles...macaroni and cheese..." Katherine leans against the doorway beside him, looking amused at their lack of goods. "I really need to go to the grocery store," he sighs. 

"What did you eat while I was gone?" Katherine chuckles.

"Uh...well, I was at Mom and Dad's a lot," Charlie hums. "Not much sense in cooking for one, yeah?" Her eyes turn sad. Charlie ducks a kiss onto the top of her head. "Mom called about you when I was at work. She was worried because you never called her back."

Katherine's expression turns into a wince. "I totally forgot."

"Yeah, I figured."

"What does she think happened?"

Charlie lets out a sigh, pulling down a box of Velveeta. "I told her Dean was really sick."

"Oh."

Charlie always liked to cook with music on. It was playing while they ate. They fell asleep on the sofa.

✕

It's ridiculous for Katherine to answer the door with a baseball bat in her hand in broad daylight, but that's what she's doing. 

Charlie's parents, George and Grace, stand on the other side of the door. Grace looks down at the bat very, very briefly. 

"Mom," Katherine murmurs. "Dad."

"Hi, honey," Grace says. "We brought some things for dinner."

Katherine internalizes her sigh. She's not ready for company. Charlie is enough. They don't have to talk all the time. He doesn't push her. "O-oh," Katherine nods, opening the door wider. "What is all of that?"

"All the makings for butter chicken," Grace chirps.

"Homemade," George adds.

Katherine chuckles. "Okay." Phoebe walks up the pathway and smiles broadly. "Hey, Phoebes."

"Hey, Kit." Phoebe wraps one arm around Katherine. She smells nice, like jasmine. "I'm sorry about Dean." 

Her eyes water. Katherine nods, staring onto the lawn over Phoebe's shoulder, and ushers her inside.

"Sorry I'm not really dressed," Katherine says, closing the door. She leans the bat against the wall and follows everyone inside. 

"You don't have to apologize," George says.

"Dad, let me take some of that." She pries some bags from his hands and sets them on the counter. "Are we feeding the whole street?" Katherine chuckles.

There's one more house down the road that just finished construction last month. The Marches, a young couple like them. Charlie says they're all right. The guy, Tyler, isn't really someone he'd hang out with regularly. 

"Who doesn't like leftovers?" Grace asks. "You can freeze it."

Katherine drums her fingertips against the counter. "I don't know when Charlie will be home," she admits.

Grace smiles and rests a hand on her wrist. "We're here for you tonight."

Phoebe played the wedding album over the house's speaker system. Charlie had it pressed onto a record and got a nice table for all of Katherine's old vinyls. He figured out a way to plug it into the house, like an amplifier. 

Charlie was more than happy to see it. Katherine smiling, mostly. She looked exhausted, but distracted. He wondered what she thought about all the time to make her so...dull. He wanted to ask about Dean...but it's a selfish, morbid curiosity. My dear, tell me why you look so vacant all the time. What did you see?

"I'm sorry," he says.

Katherine looks up from the sink with a frown. "For what?" She's just finished wiping the sink down for the third time. She's anxious about something.

"I didn't know they were coming over," he says. "If I did, I would've told them you're not ready."

Katherine shakes her head, staring out of the window over the sink. "I've got to start my life sometime, Charlie," she whispers. 

"I just don't want to rush anything. I'm sure it hasn't been easy."

She taps her fingertips against the countertop. Do I tell him? "No, it hasn't." She washes her hands. "Why don't you start the record over? I'm gonna go brush my teeth."

She closes the bathroom door behind her and sinks down against it. Tears threaten to spill over, but they just sit there.

She sees Dean's body in front of her before she blinks it away. Katherine sniffs, pushes herself up off of the floor, and grabs her toothbrush.

If only there was a way to brush away the numbness. 

"Hey, what do you say we watch a movie?" Katherine asks, moving from the bedroom, rubbing her eyes. Maybe I'm a little tired for that... "Charlie?" She opens her eyes, squinting into the kitchen and living area. 

A man is tying him to a chair. His eyes are closed. Katherine's chest tightens. She's stuck. 

And then she feels the sharp, throbbing pain in her side that came with the thwack of her own bat. 

She turns, fingers automatically curling into fists as she prepares to swing, but the man on her left beat her to it. Two knuckles straight to the temple, and she's on the floor.

✕

Screaming...

Katherine's head snaps up at the sudden force on her face. Oh, her head hurts. Did I just get hit? She blinks hard, focusing the fuzziness.

Charlie is sitting in front of her, tied to a chair, bloody. 

"No," she whispers, lunging for him. Her hands are stuck. Katherine looks down, yanking as hard as she can. Her arms are bound to the back of the chair all the way down to the wrists. She can't find a knot in the rope. "No!" She gets hit in the face again, right out of the blind spot. Charlie yells something. 

Katherine's chair is tipped back, and she's staring into a stranger's face. Fair skin, icy blue eyes, light brown hair. "Where is it?"

"Where's what?!" She shrieks. Charlie gets hit, and he cries out. Katherine looks at him, thrashing against her confines. 

"Don't play dumb, Donovan," the man snarls, and punches her in the face. 

"Hey!" Charlie shouts.

"Quiet," the other man snarls. Katherine listens to another blow land.

"Stop!" Katherine shouts. "Stop! What are you looking for?!"

"The book!"

Her spine goes cold. She listens. He's southern. Louisiana?

"What book?" She snarls. His fist rears back, but she doesn't flinch. Instead, he nods his head, and Charlie takes another blow. "Stop it! He's got nothing to do with any of this!"

"He's married to you."

"Who are you?" He hits her in the face.

"You're not the one asking the questions here," he chuckles. "You're answering them. So I'll ask nicely one more time. Where. Is. The book?"

Katherine swallows. There could only be one book he's talking about. "I don't have it." Charlie gets hit again. "I don't have it!" She shrieks. "Charlie?!" He spits. Her chair is dropped onto all four legs.

He's bleeding worse. His face is puffy, his mouth is bright red. "Just give them what they want," he says. Katherine shakes her head, tears pooling in her eyes. 

This is her worst nightmare. She always knew something like this would happen...and the day is here.

And her fucking wedding songs are playing in the house. 

"I swear to God, I don't have it," she whispers. "I swear! It was stolen from me!"

"Yeah, that's what he said," her man drawls. "But I don't believe it."

"That's what who said?" Katherine asks. "It's the truth! No, stop!" She screams, watching Charlie's man rear back. "I swear! I swear! I haven't seen the Book in—in three years! Bela Talbot stole it from me and she sold it." Her chest heaves. "I haven't seen it since then, I swear." Her eyes move to Charlie. He doesn't look good. "Please, just don't touch him," Katherine whispers, looking up to her man. "Please, don't."

He purses his lips. "I just don't believe you." Her eyes widen, watching Charlie get hit. Again. Then she gets a fist to the eye.

This...is so much harder than any regular human. This has to be a demon. But why would they be looking for the Book?

"If you give it to us now, it'll end real quick," her man promises. "We'll go away and wash our hands of this, pretend this unfortunate meeting never happened." He tilts his head at her. "Even if you and yours are disgusting little thieves."

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Katherine shouts. 

"Fucking witches," the other spits, right onto Charlie. Charlie doesn't move.

"He's not a witch!" Katherine shouts, growing hysterical. "He doesn't know anything about all of this! Please, just leave him out of it! Please!"

"Tell us where the book is," her man snarls.

"I already told you, you fucking idiot!" He hits her for that one, right in the gut. Oh no. Her whole body goes cold. No, no, no. "No," Katherine shakes her head. "No, stop." He hits her in the face. She watches Charlie get hit. "Stop." He hits her so hard her chair falls sideways. 

The other man cuts Charlie from his chair. 

"Stop," Katherine sobs. "Please stop!"

"Where's this...Bela Talbot?" Her man asks. Charlie's fingers curl against the tile, raking through his own blood. He had to have been hit with other things, things she didn't have time to see.

"Dead," Katherine wails. "She's dead! She sold her soul and they collected! Please, just stop," she sobs, watching Charlie get kicked. "Please!" Her hands aren't any more free than they were ten minutes ago. He isn't moving. "Charlie, get up. Get up Charlie!" She shouts. "Charlie!"

"Shut her up, Jacob," the other one mutters. "Tired of hearing that bitch wail."

"Lay another hand on me and I swear to God I'm gonna kill you," she snaps. "I'll fucking kill you!"

"Oh, yeah?" He taunts. Something in his hand glistens. Katherine can't breathe. He has her bat. He has her bat and he's lifting it—

"No!" She screams. 

"Did you just fucking kill him?" Her asks. Jacob. "Goddammit, Roscoe!" Roscoe throws the bat down. Katherine can't catch her breath.

"I'm gonna kill you," she whispers. "I'm gonna kill you! Charlie!"

"Not my fault he's fuckin' weak," Roscoe spits.

"That wasn't the job," Jacob snarls, standing toe to toe with Roscoe. "That's not what we came here for!"

"I'm gonna kill you—!"

"So kill her and we won't have anything to worry about," Roscoe snarls. 

"You know he'd kill us for it," Jacob says. "It's not here. Let's go find Bela."

The door slams shut. Charlie isn't moving.

And their first dance is playing, At Last drowning out the ringing in her ears as she stares at Charlie's lifeless body. 

Everything is swallowed by darkness.