Sam would never make a counter-deal to save his brother, would he?

Katherine gnaws on the inside of her cheek as her thoughts go eight rounds against themselves in her mind. She knows she shouldn't make a deal to save Dean. Anyway, that douchebag demon said no other demon would come within a mile of her and a deal. Angels or whatever. What if she got there and though may have no intention of striking a deal with her own soul...what if the demon called her bluff? She'd kill it. Yeah. Real strong message. 

There has to be a loophole somewhere.

Katherine's hair rises on the back of her neck as she walks to the vending machine on the other side of the motel parking lot. Seconds later, the neon sign overhead flickers, and she gets a funny feeling of pressure in her left ear. When she turns that way, Ruby stands ten feet before her.

"Cool trick," Katherine mutters, continuing to the vending machine.

"Yours is cooler," Ruby hums. "Demon sense and whatever. Big perk with the whole, uh...package."

The huntress furrows her brow at the demon. "What..." Katherine shakes her head. More riddles, more nonsense. Part of her would like to ask the demon to elaborate...but where's the use in that? She wouldn't know what the angels are saying. She already knows what the demons are saying...very quickly, this conversation is shaping up to be of little value. "Ruby, you bailed Sam out with that other demon tonight, but that doesn't mean I like you...or even tolerate you. So...say what you want to say and leave before I pry that knife out of your jacket and stab you over and over again."

Ruby slowly nods, arms crossed. "You have a lot of pent up anger."

"I have a lot to be angry about."

"You just got married."

Katherine takes a deep, calming breath that she releases through her nose, looking at the vacant road straight ahead. Then she turns on her heel and looks at the blonde demon. "Let me get this straight," she begins. "You were human once, died, went to Hell...became that." Katherine gestures to the demon's body. Who is she wearing? "How long ago?"

"Back when the plague was big."

The huntress frowns. "And your name was Ruby?" The demon levels a flat look at Katherine, who sighs again. 

"You looked like you had a question back at that house," Ruby says. "Figured you didn't want to ask it in front of the Winchesters, so...here I am. You know all about demons, Katherine Louise...you know a lot of them were human once...and most of my cell mates were sent down by you, so I know a good bit about you." She cocks a brow at the huntress. "Got a big target on your back."

"Yeah," Katherine scoffs.

"So let's cut the shit. What do you want?"

Katherine's eyes turn to stones as she stares at the demon. Tries to see past the human face. For a moment, she thought she saw Ruby's eyes turn black. Saw the flesh melt away into a shapeless shadow with bared teeth.

"You want to save him," Ruby murmurs. There's a glint in her eye...not necessarily humor. But it's enough to rile Katherine. She clenches her jaw and practically beams Ruby in the head. "Because you still love him."

"Maybe you've forgotten," Katherine begins. "What with all your time in Hell, but those feelings don't just disappear."

"I didn't say anything was wrong with that," Ruby replies. "You've already tried, though...I know it. I've heard it."

"Why wouldn't that demon do it?" Katherine quietly asks, taking a rushed step forward. Ruby doesn't move. She doesn't blink. There's pleading in Katherine's eyes, something that's always seen in the most desperate of souls. Their time comes to pass, their contract expires, and they just want a little more time. 

"If you take his place," Ruby murmurs. "They will be so much crueler to you than they will ever be to Dean. You know that, right? That you're not invincible to the wear of Hell on a soul...that if you manage to convince one demon worth his salt to cut through that red tape...it'll happen to you too. It might take centuries, but it'll happen."

Katherine looks over Ruby with an odd calmness. "That's the only way Dean gets saved. Making another deal. Not whatever bullshit you fed Sam...making another deal. Not to toot my own horn, but I imagine I'm pretty high up on the demonic bounty list."

Ruby chuckles. "You're up there...but you come with your red tape, too."

"What kind of red tape?"

"The kind that starts wars." Before Katherine can ask her questions, Ruby barrels on. "You need to help me get Sam ready."

Katherine's brows furrow. "Ready for what?"

"For life without Dean. And you." Ruby shrugs. "You and Dean are cut from the same cloth. Sam is not. For what it's worth...Sam would have an easier time and much better odds if he was fighting with you than his brother."

"So I'm just supposed to let Dean go to Hell?" Katherine asks. 

"Katherine," the demon sighs. "If I can't get Dean out of his mess, there's no way I can get you out of that mess. If you do that..." Ruby shrugs. "If you do that, and the transaction clears...it's forever. There aren't rescue missions to Hell." The demon cocks an eyebrow. "But I guess if you're a Pedigree, someone will make exceptions."

Katherine's brows furrow. "A Pedigree?" She asks. 

Ruby gives Katherine her own two-fingered salute. "See you later, loser."

Dean had fallen asleep thinking of Katherine's wedding night, as he'd done for the month since. He wasn't drunk during the ceremony, but he'd definitely been drinking. Sam could smell it on his breath, and angrily requested that he behave himself. 

Dean would never make a fool of Katherine. Only himself, as he did time and time again. 

Life is cruel, he thinks. No...he knows. He knows in his heart that it isn't complete unless she's right next to him, sharing jokes and secret smiles and soft kisses. Maybe it's selfish, but he doesn't think he wants her unless it can be that way. 

No...it is selfish. And he's the worst person to walk the face of the Earth. Why can't he put aside his misery for four more months so she can be happy for the rest of her life?

Why did he have to make that deal to save Sam? Why was this his life? It started in tragedy and it'll end in tragedy. And what has his life amounted to? High-functioning alcoholism, a well-kept gas-guzzler, and a leather jacket that isn't even his.

It was hard not to feel bitter, and it was even harder to keep it contained, to not lash out at his brother, even at Katherine, because they just wanted to help. Part of him wanted the punishment. Deserved it. The other part of him, the little boy that never got the chance, raged in his cage. It was easy to ignore when that's been the protocol for almost thirty years. 

Dean wonders which of his memories will go first when he goes to Hell. When he eventually becomes one of those black-eyed sons of bitches, what will he remember?

What if he meets Katherine again? What if he will one day be the subject of all of her rage?

He'd seen her in action before. Of course. It was like watching a wild animal hunt. Fascinating, horrifying. But she'd never looked at him like she does her prey.

What will it feel like?

It was his last thought before the nightmares descended. All-encompassing, black, suffocating, heavy. Quick, violent images.

Katherine's heavenly feral face as she kills him with Ruby's knife.

Katherine stares ahead at the empty crossroads, shoulders tall and thrown back, chin tipped, eyes cautious. This goes against her nature, her body screaming at her to get lost. 

Stay, stay, stay.

Leave, leave, leave.

She sits on the tree stump and takes a deep breath. She needed to word it just right, or it'll all have been for nothing.

There's an immense guilt on her shoulders. Charlie. The man she agreed to spend the rest of her life with. Technically not a lie. 

Leaving Charlie is selfish. Stupid. She can list every single reason why this is a bad idea.

Dean is never going to leave the life. Neither are you. It always follows you.

Dean is never going to settle down. Neither were you, until you met Nick. And then Charlie.

Dean would hate her forever. You'll be dead so it won't matter.

You would be the shame of the family. They want you dead anyway.

You would be breaking your promise to Charlie.

Her subconscious had nothing to rebut. Because she would be. She doesn't break promises, that isn't Katherine Louise.

But leaving Dean high and dry just isn't in her wiring. 

She feels defenseless, even with the holy water and a dozen exorcism rituals in her head, the useless stick she's sharpening. She feels powerless. The cards have been stacked against her since...well, she didn't know when. All of these crossroads demons either been smugly cryptic, hateful, or didn't show at all.

And she goes round and round again.

Why would a bunch of angels care about her? Why wouldn't she be able to make a deal? Everyone else got a chance. Why not her?

She'd never been one to doubt the existence of angels. If demons existed, if evil existed, there had to be good. There had to be angels. But where were they? In twenty-one years, she'd never seen one. Not as an infant. Not as a child, or a teenager. And ironically, these are the creatures with ten times the lore of others.

But no crossroads demon is willing to contend with a bunch of brawling angels upstairs, a creature not one hunter she's ever met has encountered. Faith aside, there's no reason to believe they exist.

But they have to.

She felt electricity on the back of her neck as she buried the box in the center of the crossroads, but there was nothing after that.

Which brings everything full circle.

"Come on," she mutters, eyes scouring the black horizon. She grips the stone in her hand too tight, and it sends a zing up her forearm. Katherine drops the sharp rock and grits her teeth.  "You too chicken to make a deal?"

Thunder cracks, and when she stares up at the clear violet-black sky, that's when Katherine realizes she's in the presence of a crossroads demon, and the angels must be storming their armory.

What makes me different from any other person looking to bargain?

"No," the demon says. Katherine, sat on her tree trunk, looks over her left shoulder. A dark-haired woman stands underneath the old rusted water tower. "They're too chicken to make a deal with you."

"Why?" Katherine snarls, watching the brunette woman start over to her.

"Angel Protection Detail."

"What the hell's that even mean?" Katherine rolls to her feet.

The demon simply smiles, stopping in front of her. She's Katherine's height, with glistening green eyes and a pretty smile. Those green eyes slink to the rumbling sky. "Are you going to put your offer up on the table before I get fried?"

Katherine's features twitch. "If the others are scared shitless, why aren't you trembling in your heels?"

"Katherine Louise Donovan's soul is well worth the risk," the demon says, voice sultry and promising, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Make it quick."

With a racing heart and trembling fingers, Katherine sucks in a deep breath through her nose. "I want to take Dean's place," she states. "An even exchange."

The demon frowns a bit. "That will be difficult to negotiate."

"What kind of weak ass demon are you?" Katherine snaps. "Your coworkers can bring people back to life or stave off cancer for ten years, but you can't scratch a name out and write a new one in?"

"It doesn't just work like that," the demon huffs.

"No loopholes, no back doors," Katherine insists, glancing to the sky. It's getting louder. "Dean doesn't die when his contract is up." Thunder rumbles directly overhead. "Do we have a deal or not?"

As the demon approaches her, leans in with a wicked smile, Katherine finds herself flinching backwards. "It's just one little kiss away," the demon hums.

Her run home was wet. It's pouring, lightning is flashing everywhere, thunder shakes the ground she runs on. 

She's heavy with anxiety, guilt, light with exhiliration, happiness. She can't tell anyone what she just did. She doesn't want to jinx it.

Sam is awake still when Katherine walks through the door. "Don't you think it's a bad idea to go running at night alone?" He asks. "In jeans?"

"More like a walk," Katherine hums, glancing to Dean sleeping on the second bed. "Needed to clear my head, but...I'm gonna go warm up." She nods her head to the shower. "Why don't you take the bed, Sam?"

"I'm f—"

"Take the bed, Sam." 

The turns the faucet all the way over and starts peeling out of her clothes. 

Sleep doesn't come easy on the sofa, reeking of mildew and ciagrettes. Never can get a decent—

When Katherine rolls over, she's falling. Out of the sofa, into a chair. The black motel room is replaced with the brightest white room, intensely so. She has to shield her eyes while they adjust.

She doesn't know if she needs to panic or stay calm. You're just dreaming. Try to wake up. 

The seat she's in is quite soft, plush. But the room is cold, and despite her sleeves, he sleep set is still satin, and she's shivering in no time. 

And then there are people in front of her. Just...people. People she's never seen, but they are so angry with her. 

Behind the people are...horrifying creatures. Her brain is screaming angels, but...why would they look like this?

A man with six razor-sharp wings...a ball, made of four interlocking golden wheels, with eyes inlaid in all of them. All of them looking at her. 

Seraphim, Ophanium...Malakim.

Katherine stares at all of them. Angels. 

"She doesn't even know who we are," one of them whispers. "It's—"

"What is meant to be," another says, louder, with more authority in his voice than she'd ever heard in her life, all without him even getting close to yelling. 

She'd like to record that voice and play it for her father, see if he would hide under the bed. It's enough to scare her, freeze her to her chair. It resonates in her gut so...heavily...she feels hypnotized.

And then all four of his eyes are on her, and she feels small. 

"Katherine Louise," he says. His lips don't move, but his voice is all around her. "You may remember, if you wish."

It's difficult to find her voice. "Rem...ember what?" She whispers. 

"Everything." He waits, it seems, but nothing happens. She sees a wall, but...after that, nothing. Only a brief flicker. "Then this, too, you will not remember...but you will know. Just like you will know everything, in time."

Katherine can't look away from the Malakim. No wings...just a towering physique, four eyes that have come to two, and an intense blue gaze on hers. Something about it seems friendly....but fiercer than a raging forest fire. Maybe it's his voice. But that scares her, too. 

"What will I know?"

"That you failed tonight," he says. The atmosphere has changed. It's bone-chilling, tense...there's no air. His posture is rigid, oozes anger. "And you will fail every other time. That we lost one hundred angels tonight, angels of all classes, but no matter how many of us we lose, you will never succeed in this endeavor."

"I..." It's like battery acid in her mouth. "I failed." Failed.

"Failed!" The Malakim booms. It pierces her eardrums, make her cry out and recoil. Her ears ring. "Dean Winchester will die. You will know this. Try as you will, nothing can save him from the Hellfire." Katherine feels nauseas.

It was all for nothing. 

"I wasn't..." Katherine shakes her head, choking back sobs. She can feel them build in her chest. "I changed the rules," she whispers, staring at the table they're sat around. Not the Malakim. He's standing. "I changed them before I made the deal, I was—I was specific." Tears cloud her eyes as she stares at the merciless Malakim. Dark hair, piercing blue eyes. Cruel. Not a friend. Katherine grits her teeth and squares her shoulders, and yells. "I told her to remove his name! When the deal was made, I had not reaffirmed the offer of my own! And you ruined it!" She's shrill. "You ruined it!"

No other demon will make a deal with her. She knew...she knew this would happen. Something would ruin it. Just like you will know this. 

"You killed her, didn't you?" She whispers. 

"You will know."

When she wakes up, Sam is shaking her shoulder. There's a horrible pain in her left eye, right in the corner. Intense, sharp pain. Did she punch herself in her sleep? Maybe it's a muscle cramp. She starts to blindly shove her thumb right underneath her eyebrow, into the ridge of her frontal bone, but that isn't where the pain it.

"Are you all right?"

"What?" She asks, still waking up. Still adjusting. 

Katherine opens her eyes, but her left is stuck. Almost glued shut. 

"What happened to you?" That's Dean. 

"What are you..." Katherine pries her upper lid from her lower. Something is caked into her lashes, plucking the hairs from her lid. "What the..."

"You're bleeding."

Katherine's watery eye starts to get hot and leak. Wordlessly, she stumbles to the bathroom and flips on the light. 

Blood has crusted in the inner corner of her left eye, run down her nose and coagulated. Blood ran from her ears and down either side of her throat. 

"Are you hexed?" Dean asks, green eyes hard and frantic. 

"No," Katherine whispers.

Because she knows, but doesn't remember.